Have any of you as a spouse talked to your DH's detailer??? Just curious!

Nope but I'm tempted to call.

Nope but I'm tempted to call.

See me too because DH is deployed and his hours are wicked crazy!!! :banghead

I have. I think they are usually not inclined to discuss anything with the wife. But when we moved from sea to shore, I think he was just as frustrated as we are about the lack of communication opportunities, so he worked with me.

nope.. never had to.

Nope, but his former CO called when we were trying to get our orders for out here. That took care of things right quick! :giggle

Nope, it was his job, so he dealt with the detailor.

Nah and I probably wouldn't.

No I haven't.. although if I ever meet that man in a dark alley :voodoo:club

No, I never did while my DH was in the military. Sometimes I wish I could have so I could have told him to hurry the heck up! :lol

Have any of you as a spouse talked to your DH's detailer??? Just curious!
negative! he does that, it's his job.

No I haven't.. although if I ever meet that man in a dark alley :voodoo:club
LMAO watch out buddy. I'll kick your ass and you'll never see what's coming. Your *TOO* funny ;))

(I understand tho. LOL)

negative! he does that, it's his job.


From an Army point of view....I TOTALLY AGREE.

No I haven't.. although if I ever meet that man in a dark alley :voodoo:club

Oh, man... no kidding! I wish!!

negative! he does that, it's his job.

From an Army point of view....I TOTALLY AGREE.

I merely asked a question... Never have, never will, but I know people that have....

This is yet another example of when I feel like people get a little judgemental of other wives for no reason. I'm not saying anyone here is, but the consensus seems to be that it's his job, so the wife shouldn't interfere. That's great if that's how it works out, but it's not necessarily a bad thing the other way, kwim? Dh was SOOO unbelievably frustrated with being on a sub while he was trying to negotiate orders, and he asked me to help. Should I have said, 'sorry buddy, that's your job'?

I'm not trying to stir the pot, but yet again I feel the need to point out the dh and I are a team, and if he needs my help, I'll give it to him. I think that is my job as his wife, and I expect the same from him.

well i dont think its the wifes place either to call her hubbys detailer. I wouldnt dare call mine. He takes care of that. besides if they cant call them they can always email them or have someone in the command call them like the career counselor.

I am not faulting anyone who does call their hubbys detailers but I just dont think its the greatest idea.

O, goodie Iam not alone on this one then.. our detailer is FEMALE! and ugh. I want to ring necksand if I had a chance to talk to her I'd gladl do it .... but meh that is his dealings. mine are here with the house and kids

If it weren't for my calling his detailer, I don't know what would have happened. Derrick was deployed when he got his orders and they were a mess. The detailer was actually glad I had called so that we could get started on the move before he could get back from deployment. His detailer and I got everything figured out before Derrick even knew he had orders! His detailer was awesome. I even kept telling him that I normally never get involved but he was deployed and there was a lot going on with his orders and he said he was glad he was able to communicate with me so that Derrick didn't get completely blindsided when he finally did take a look at his orders (he was deployed on mission so there was NO communication coming or going with anyone so he had no idea of what was going on).

If it weren't for my calling his detailer, I don't know what would have happened. Derrick was deployed when he got his orders and they were a mess. The detailer was actually glad I had called so that we could get started on the move before he could get back from deployment. His detailer and I got everything figured out before Derrick even knew he had orders! His detailer was awesome. I even kept telling him that I normally never get involved but he was deployed and there was a lot going on with his orders and he said he was glad he was able to communicate with me so that Derrick didn't get completely blindsided when he finally did take a look at his orders (he was deployed on mission so there was NO communication coming or going with anyone so he had no idea of what was going on).

well then in a case like Derricks you getting ahold of the detailer was a good thing. there are some exceptions though. Its good your DH had a understanding detailer and didnt mind you being the one to call him either.

well i dont think its the wifes place either to call her hubbys detailer. I wouldnt dare call mine. He takes care of that. besides if they cant call them they can always email them or have someone in the command call them like the career counselor.

I am not faulting anyone who does call their hubbys detailers but I just dont think its the greatest idea.

I know it's a rare exception, but it's not alway true. When you're out on a sub with no calls, no emails, no communication for weeks at a time, and then you get a couple of hours of surface time, and everybody and their brother is trying to get communications out, and maybe the detailer isn't available in those few hours, and then you're back under for another communications black out.... sometimes it's not that easy. Plus, dh's last command extended him over and over, and they totally weren't trying to help him leave the boat even though we were so far past our PRD it wasn't even funny.

And I didn't call him. Dh did get an email through, telling him to please call me because he didn't think he'd be in contact again for a while.

Not trying to nitpick, just trying to show how it's not always a bad thing.

Brialee - I think you and I must live in parallel universes! :lol

I know it's a rare exception, but it's not alway true. When you're out on a sub with no calls, no emails, no communication for weeks at a time, and then you get a couple of hours of surface time, and everybody and their brother is trying to get communications out, and maybe the detailer isn't available in those few hours, and then you're back under for another communications black out.... sometimes it's not that easy. Plus, dh's last command extended him over and over, and they totally weren't trying to help him leave the boat even though we were so far past our PRD it wasn't even funny.

And I didn't call him. Dh did get an email through, telling him to please call me because he didn't think he'd be in contact again for a while.

Not trying to nitpick, just trying to show how it's not always a bad thing.

Brialee - I think you and I must live in parallel universes! :lol

oh well like i said in Brialee's reply I think there are some exceptions to the rule and I know that sometimes on subs they dont have any communication at all and so in a case like your hubbys or where the Active Duty member cannot communicate at all in any way shape or form then I think it would be okay for the wife to call.

oh well like i said in Brialee's reply...

Oops! I must have missed that while I was typing! ;)

Sorry about that!

And that's what I wish wives in general were more understanding of - that there are exceptions and everyone's situation is different. I know you get that - I guess I've just run into in the past, and so it hits a little nerve for me.

Sorry about pointing out what you already said! :blush

oh sweetie its okay. not a problem.

i've never called the detailer, but the detailer called once when we lived in WA and DH was out to sea. DH and i had discussed where he'd like to go for shore duty so i mentioned it to the detailer in case it was an open billet, but i would never tell the detailer what orders to give him or anything.

i was worried the last month or so because DH needs new orders and he's gone for a couple months. luckily someone from squadron was talking to the detailer then emailing DH (then DH would email me and ask my opinion lol). i have no clue what's going on now though from what i've heard from other people lol. i'm just waiting for SOMEONE to say "you're going ---" or "you're staying here", but even then, i won't believe it until the orders are cut. :giggle

I've never done it.

However to get the orders he currently has I had to track down the number/email address of the person in the squadron who was doing the recruiting FOR the squadron. He was overseas and was really incommunicado. He emailed me once to get Senior Chief XXXX's information for him......but even if he didn't ask me to I would have because to get these orders you don't go through a detailer you are recruited for the orders.

So in a sense........

I have talked to his detailer, but not in regards to professional purposes. I don't think it is any of the spouses business to try to do the dealing. I know from what the detailer has said, that is thier #1 complaint.

Wanted to edit that yes, there are the rare exceptions when they (the spouse) may be forced to talk to them.

well then in a case like Derricks you getting ahold of the detailer was a good thing. there are some exceptions though. Its good your DH had a understanding detailer and didnt mind you being the one to call him either.

Of course, I would never call him if Derrick was available but in this case it was crucial for me to speak with his detailer. It's the first time I've ever had to get involved and if I had to do it again. With Derrick being on a sub with no communication, I'm surprised I haven't had to do things like that more often but luckily that's the first time I've ever had to deal with any part of his job.

Nope.

i have spoken to him several times, he was my DH's old LPO, actually had dinner with him, but never ever about orders in a serious manner joking yes, but only because we were all friends never would i call his detailer at his work. my DH would probably kill me. we have had our fair share of detailing issues though but DH took care of the, the ship even turned once so they could be with in range of the phone so he could call his detailer. i personally think that is why JASS was taken off line, i think too many wives were getting involved and applying for orders that their DH's didn't qualify for or something and creating a lot of extra work. i don't know that was the reason but i personally think it might have had something to do with it.