ok so the subject has been mentioned but not discussed in great detail... DB and i have been together 1 1/2 yrs. I've had my own apt for 4 yrs, he's lived with a roommate for about 3yrs. I really want to live together and he finally mentioned last week that we should talk about doing it when he returns.

I guess my questions are... Who has experience with moving in together AFTER a deployment? Is it a good or bad idea? Should we wait a while to get reacquainted first?

Thank you...all your input is much appreciated :)

ok so the subject has been mentioned but not discussed in great detail... DB and i have been together 1 1/2 yrs. I've had my own apt for 4 yrs, he's lived with a roommate for about 3yrs. I really want to live together and he finally mentioned last week that we should talk about doing it when he returns.

I guess my questions are... Who has experience with moving in together AFTER a deployment? Is it a good or bad idea? Should we wait a while to get reacquainted first?

Thank you...all your input is much appreciated :)


well I can only ask that if ur worried about getting "reaquainted" ...then what are u going to do if u guys get married?

It's always a huge adjustment to reconnect and really just adjust to one another being around again. Two big readjustments (moving in together AND him coming home) may be a little too much, but it all depends on the couple, really. It may be best to wait a few months to see how things work out. Homecomings are not all rainbows and butterflies - for me, that was the hardest part of deployment. But as I said, it all depends on the couple and the situation. Some homecomings I'm sure are much easier to readjust to, some are not. Good luck in your decision, though.

well I can only ask that if ur worried about getting "reaquainted" ...then what are u going to do if u guys get married?

well i just mean that after not seeing each other for 13 months, and only having limited emails and calls...i'm not sure what to expect, neither is he. This is our first deployment. I know that we're not going to start from scratch, but how easy is it to pick up from where u left off?? :(

well i just mean that after not seeing each other for 13 months, and only having limited emails and calls...i'm not sure what to expect, neither is he. This is our first deployment. I know that we're not going to start from scratch, but how easy is it to pick up from where u left off?? :(

I just want to say that if having to readjust and re-connect after a deployment means a marriage isn't solid, then I think that most military spouses' marriages are doomed.

Seriously. There is almost always going to be an adjustment period. You've been away from each other for a long period of time- you have both changed, grown, matured, whatever - you both need time to get to know one another again, to readjust to just being AROUND each other again. No matter how much you love a person, there will always be change and adaptation - even without deployments. Deployments just make the change and adaptation more abrupt. It definitely takes work and strength, but it won't last forever. I'm finally to the point (6 months later) that I finally feel back in the same place as I was before with my DH.

The period of adjustment and reconnection probably varies depending on the couple, the length of deployment, etc. but I think there will always be some adjustments.

Not saying that homecomings are bad - they are wonderful, of course! But...yeah. I just wanted to assure you that having to adjust to each other again is NOT a bad thing. :hugs