I got on myspace this morning and he sent me this

"I really need a hug... I feel so dark inside... like im lossing all feelings for everything...I think Iraq and what ive done and seen affected me and this topped it off... I just really need a hug some physical form of love.... I wish so bad I could be there in your arms right now... I dont want thise whole situation to ruin who I am...I love you."

He's still over in Iraq and I'm really wanting to try to figure out something REALLY special to send him so that he knows there is hope back home and that things will be ok. I don't care how expensive it is. Please help!!! I need advise.

I don't have any advice.. I'm sorry sweetie! :hugs :hugs

Not sure if it's PTSD but it sounds like it sure could turn into that once he's home. It could just be he's suffering from some moderate depression. I think all you can really do is give him as many kind words and as much encouragement as you can :goodvibes

Not sure if it's PTSD but it sounds like it sure could turn into that once he's home. It could just be he's suffering from some moderate depression. I think all you can really do is give him as many kind words and as much encouragement as you can :goodvibes

Thanks for the :goodvibes. I'll try to be a encouraging as possible.

i would also say that it probably isn't PTSD...he's depressed and with a good reason. My DF goes through days like this, but you just have to remain positive and supportive and he will probably have a better day soon...if not tomorrow, the next day! Hang in there!

well by definition it can't be PTSD because he isn't out of the extremely stressful situation yet. But I know it must be hard on you to hear him so down. On the bright side, just talking to you about it probably makes him feel better to some extent. I don't know about what to send him, I'm really bad at gift ideas! Is this his 1st deployment?

:bigsadhug

What about a "hug in a box" something you can make with pictures of you two together. Put some little treasures that mean something to you about your relationship and memories you have of fun things you've done together. Decorate the box and put a big ribbon around it. Now everytime he needs a hug, he has his hug-in-a-box.

What about a "hug in a box" something you can make with pictures of you two together. Put some little treasures that mean something to you about your relationship and memories you have of fun things you've done together. Decorate the box and put a big ribbon around it. Now everytime he needs a hug, he has his hug-in-a-box.

aw that is such a sweet idea!! Thanks much

I'm so sorry :bigsadhug
I agree with everyone else, to give him lots of encouraging words and maybe a long and thoughtful letter about everything he means to you, and happy memories you guys shared together.
A creative carepackage is great too, instead of buying things maybe you could go to crafts store and pick up something to make for him to show you put a lot of effort in it and is something special he can keep forever. A lot of fun kid-like stuff is always good, thats one things men can never grow out of liking

I hope things get better

I'm so sorry :bigsadhug
I agree with everyone else, to give him lots of encouraging words and maybe a long and thoughtful letter about everything he means to you, and happy memories you guys shared together.
A creative carepackage is great too, instead of buying things maybe you could go to crafts store and pick up something to make for him to show you put a lot of effort in it and is something special he can keep forever. A lot of fun kid-like stuff is always good, thats one things men can never grow out of liking

I hope things get better

:yes :agree

well by definition it can't be PTSD because he isn't out of the extremely stressful situation yet. But I know it must be hard on you to hear him so down. On the bright side, just talking to you about it probably makes him feel better to some extent. I don't know about what to send him, I'm really bad at gift ideas! Is this his 1st deployment?

Exactly. You will not be able to see if he has PTSD until afterr he gets back from Iraq. Usually they have flashbacks or nightmares etc. I don't think he is really at risk though, the fact that he expressed his fears to you says something about him. What is common for soldiers to do in situations of war is to HOLD in their emotions about what is going on. Suppressing those feelings of guilt/fear will later resurface in symptoms of PTSD. What I would do for a gift for him is definitely record yourself telling him how much you love him, make him like a collage or little scrap book- remind him of how you two met...your first feelings, your first kiss, your first date etc. Print him out a calendar and circle the day he will come home. Tell him to focus on coming home...write him a letter of things you want to do when he comes home...VACATIONS are a good idea. For example i really want to go on a cruise with DH when he gets back to get away and spend time with just him, so i send him brochures about different cruises so he can visualize being AWAY from iraq. It is important for him to realize that this situation is NOT PERMANENT, send him things that will get him to focus on coming HOME. Also a really good thing to help prevent PTSD is send him a journal. Give him an outlet (other than you) to vent and write down his fears, and let him think about whats going on. He seems extremely healthy though, he already KNOWS that the situation could possibly effect him and he is concerned. that is GOOD.


hope things get better.

I'm sorry hun...it's really hard over there. It sounds like he is depressed and with good reason. I hope things get better and you figure out something to cheer him up. :yes :hugs

Exactly. You will not be able to see if he has PTSD until afterr he gets back from Iraq. Usually they have flashbacks or nightmares etc. I don't think he is really at risk though, the fact that he expressed his fears to you says something about him. What is common for soldiers to do in situations of war is to HOLD in their emotions about what is going on. Suppressing those feelings of guilt/fear will later resurface in symptoms of PTSD. What I would do for a gift for him is definitely record yourself telling him how much you love him, make him like a collage or little scrap book- remind him of how you two met...your first feelings, your first kiss, your first date etc. Print him out a calendar and circle the day he will come home. Tell him to focus on coming home...write him a letter of things you want to do when he comes home...VACATIONS are a good idea. For example i really want to go on a cruise with DH when he gets back to get away and spend time with just him, so i send him brochures about different cruises so he can visualize being AWAY from iraq. It is important for him to realize that this situation is NOT PERMANENT, send him things that will get him to focus on coming HOME. Also a really good thing to help prevent PTSD is send him a journal. Give him an outlet (other than you) to vent and write down his fears, and let him think about whats going on. He seems extremely healthy though, he already KNOWS that the situation could possibly effect him and he is concerned. that is GOOD.


hope things get better.

Those are some great ideas! Db is a bit depressed these days too, and i have no clue what to send him! Thanks :)