my dh started ait monday. and i am having a really hard time with it.. The phone calls are great, but i miss him more now that i got to go see him at bct graduation than i did before..:tears he seems so happy there with all his military friends. is it wrong that i want him to miss me as much as i miss him? :dunno i hate myself for it, but i keep thinking how dare he be this happy without me, when im home going :nutts without him.. :unlove i feel a big fight coming on, and i hate that the most because we never fight.. or at least we didnt before the military. :worried:worried:worried im scared that im going to lose him, and i never thought i would have that fear. i think ait is harder for us than bct was because in bct we didnt get all the phone calls. there was at least a week if not 3 weeks between calls, so we had so much to talk about when he called, i would forget that i was frustrated with anything he said in a letter or on the last call.

i feel myself getting more and more depressed without him every day, and i know im pushing him away but i dont know how to stop.. please help me. :depressed:worried:depressed:worried:depressed:

Im worrying about that too. he goes to AIT in a couple of weeks... and i know once i see him... its going to be hard... and then being able to get phone calls... i'm going to miss him that much more...

i hope it isnt that bad... :goodvibes to you :)

i hope your man is better at communication than my DH.. he has no emotions. im sure things will be better for you.

Mine isn't going to AIT for a few more weeks, but I can entirely see how seeing him might make it worse. Just like right after phone calls it is worse. Hang in there though, he'll be home soon.

i hope so.. there talking immidiate ship to iraq. i have to be done with this for tonight.. as soon as my eyes start to tear up, i walk away till the next morning. :( :sigh if there is anymore advice, i will check back in the AM.. please do share it with me!

i hope your man is better at communication than my DH.. he has no emotions. im sure things will be better for you.

yeah, he is pretty good with communication.. and getting better...
but you arent supposed to be giving ME empathy! i sent good vibes to YOU! this is about you uh huh! :)
but i do hope things get easier for you

Hey girls. Well...I hope that things start going better with you and your guy. When I went to see my fiancee for his BCT graduation...it was really awkward then. It was great seeing him, but I think he was really struggling with how much attention to show me and all while being in uniform. So him being at AIT now has been really nice...mostly with the daily phone calls. However....I have gotten upset with him a few times now...because he's got some freedom again...and while I am spending the whole day thinking about him, he's playing pool or even monopoly with his friends during his down-time. And my selfish thought is..."hey...he should be talking to me during his free time!!" So...I don't really know what to tell you as far as advice goes...but I do agree with you that AIT does have his hard points too. I hope that he shows you some sort of attention on the phone that you are so badly needing right now!

It's hard because he is doing something cool, while you are stuck at home. I know how you feel. also I know it's hard when it feels like you are the only one missing someone. He has had a life changing event, learned a ton of things and is just adjusting. Being the one left behind is never easy, but dh once told me that he gets jealous of all the things I do while he is underway. so it works both ways. :hugs hope it gets better.

The hardest part about AIT is the other soldiers, IMO. I moved down here to be near him during(he graduates in december) so I get to see him every evening and weekend if I want to go pick him up. The other guys without family here...tend to get drunk, go to strip clubs, and fool around with the females. NOT ALL and not trying to scare you, but a large number do. Make sure you guys are on the same page as far as what is appropriate behavior for both of you while you're apart, and that will make things so much easier!

Also, they're pretty busy...depending on their MOS, they could have a ton of homework each night that keeps them busy.

Please PM or YIM if you have any questions, I'll send my phone # if you'd rather have that.

:grouphug

I agree with loretta.

They have just been given some freedom- alot go off the rails.

As long as he calls you and wants to talk- you should be ok.

Definately talk to him about where you guys stand in the relationship, what you find appropriate for him to do etc etc.

you girls are so great! ok so last night Brett called, and i lost it.. i cried and i told him i need his affection and i miss him and i dont feel like he misses me.. i just lost it for a few min. :duh so anyway, he got all upset and was like you know how much i love you. i said i know you love me, but sometimes i need to hear it. and we had an awesome conversation, he told me that he thinks about me all the time, and wishes i was there and everything... i love that man so much, and i would be so lost without him. thanks for everything ladies!

yeah. I'm glad you got some much needed affirmation!! It's the best!!