Update to my -We got in a fight- post:


He wrote me back and was very sweet:whew
Said he was sorry too about earlier and loves me etc...(L)

BUT he did say, He hates when i get upset and he just hopes i can handle the lifestyle he chose.

Its like... I know its hard, but boy i wouldnt be hear if i didnt think i could!

I hate getting fussy even just normally but being upset over the internet/mail sucks major balls. Im going to work on not getting fussy so quick and try to be a little bit more go with the flow-y. Which might be hard because im very much an expessor of feelings and i like to resolve my problems as they come.Any advice there?

Im glad alls good in the sandbox.
Love to all you and yours:pray

I'm struggling with this myself lately...particularly this past week I found myself getting really fussy and anxious about a lot of things. What's worse is that I don't have ANY control over any of it, so I need to learn to just let it go:( I think what our SO's don't always realize is how much those "little" things affect us when they're so far away. The distance magnifies everything I think. Here's to us trying to relax and go with the flow :hugs :D

You can only do what you can do.

Sometimes you can't help but vent.

He needs to know whats going on with you too. If I wrapped dh in cotton wool- I know he'd be upset. And yet if I vent to him- he gets upset.

Lol catch 22.

I did the same thing...and the funny thing is my db said the same thing. "I hope you're able to handle me being gone and all". Its SUPER hard to go with the "flow" and not expect too much cuz normally I like and enjoy all the attention my guy gives me, so being deprived of it makes me insecure at times. But we jus gotta remember that they love us and even if they don't say it all the time or forget to tell us things that we wanna hear, the times that they actually do make it so worth it. I don't think that's settling, I think it's just dealing with and remembering that they have so much on their minds right now. Grrrr now I'm missing my db :( Somedays I'd pay good money to have him here for jus 5 minutes, then let them take him back over there. Just 5 minutes.

I'm glad you guys worked it out. Keep the faith...he loves you. :yes

I'm struggling with this myself lately...particularly this past week I found myself getting really fussy and anxious about a lot of things. What's worse is that I don't have ANY control over any of it, so I need to learn to just let it go:( I think what our SO's don't always realize is how much those "little" things affect us when they're so far away. The distance magnifies everything I think. Here's to us trying to relax and go with the flow :hugs :D

I was going to say that too! Okay so i'm the kind of girl to just be like "ehh whatever...F it." I was raised with all boys and I am used to being the more dominant person in the relationship, i don't like to cry and i definitely don't like things to botherrr me or make me sad. Before DH left, it would have to be a HUGE fight to make me cry.

Now that he's gone I am starting to really feel like the girly girl role, and it is soo wierd for me. I find myself hanging on to those I love yous and i miss you's and when I don't hear from him it makes me so sad. I'm not used to this at all. Not just the deployment, but just these feelings in general.

I got into A HUGE fight with DH over IM as well...i hadn't heard from him in almost a week, he said he hadn't been calling because he would pass out every night and he was just too tired...so we talk for a while on the phone, and he says "jaz i'm tired, i'm going to get off...." so we say our goodbyes etc. a few minutes later I see him online...his myspace status is on, and he is on AIM....so i'm like :grumpy. If you have enough energy to get online you had energy to talk to me, and it made me soooo mad. My heart was racing and i burst into tears...i just missed him so much and i was so pissed that he hung up with me to get online!!!


we worked everything out, he called back and heard me crying histerically and he isn't used to me crying as well so i think it really hit home with DH because he realized how this deployment is effecting me. He said he would promise to try and make it easier for me, and he was sorry. Now I at least get an email with a million i love you's and a call every other day. I think it definitely benefited the marriage by telling him how it was effecting me.

I know it is hard, and we want to be strong, but if you need to cry and its because of something that your DH has control over I would say let him know....the relationship is 50/50.

:hugehug

;) I'm glad you guys had a chance to talk and that he's being supportive with you :thumbsup

You can only do what you can do.

Sometimes you can't help but vent.

He needs to know whats going on with you too. If I wrapped dh in cotton wool- I know he'd be upset. And yet if I vent to him- he gets upset.

Lol catch 22.
:agree

I'm in the same boat really. I am very independant and spontaneous but at the same time i hate when things change if i wasn't the one who changed them. A bit of hipocracy there i know. Anyway, it's just something i'll have to deal with. He made his commitment to the USAF way before he knew I existed so I need to learn to respect that.

As long as he considers your feelings and takes them into account then I guess that's the best we can hope for. :ohnoIt's a scary time in the world and they got to do what they got to do. Be strong and supportive.

BUT at the same time, remember to take care of yourself as well. Although you may not be on the top of the the governments list of things to do, you are just as important.

Good luck at finding the balance.....i'm right there with you.:dunno