So. Sent db an email asking about the comments on myspace pictures and telling him I really didn't feel good about this, and if she knew about me and to please explain whats up. Nothing more then that. Well, the reply back left something to be desired. First off, he didnt answer one single question of mine in regards to her, rather he went off on this tangent again about no commitments and the like when he gets home, and how he wants to slow things down with us. Says to me that he doesnt need drama and please don't cause any for him??? Also stated that he hopes I didn't contact HER because if I did, he needs to know right away???? Also said that this is why moving on is for the best right now and whats meant to be, will??? Dick. summing up all the emails exchanged after that, I told him he was avoiding my questions, that I wouldn't compete with ANYONE for his attention, and that I could not be a part of his life if another woman was in it. I can deal with everything a deployment throws at you, but this I cannot and will not. He says he's sorry for upsetting me, to which I replied, don't make promises to me to the extent that you did and take things to the level you did if you had all these concerns in the first place. I still dont know what's going on with him and this girl, but I'm beginning to think that no answer IS my answer and it's probably about time to walk away because he's doing NOTHING to alleve my fears, not even saying they are just friends. And if that's all he can tell me is don't wait and no promises, but I miss you, that's not much to go on. I don't care how much stress he's in in Iraq and all that. you dont make promises to your loyal girl back home, and then when you meet someone new and who's at the same compound as you, tell your girl that maybe she should move on and not to wait for you. I'm so sad right now!!! I care about him so much! I just don't see what I'm holding onto anymore...seems like I'm putting in WAY more then I'm getting out. And this stupid trip to Greece, I dont even want to go with him anymore. :depressed

I don't think your reading into it....sounds to me he's not ready to commit to you and that is sad. You have been loyal to him since he left and he's being a jerk.

I'm sorry girl, I think you should just move on. Good Luck.

So sorry hun. Unfortunatly it doesnt loo to good. Obviously thats just an assumption and i dont know him like you do but things are just not right and i think you are feeling that. Someone had a good quote on a post a while back

"IF HE IS DUMB ENOUGH TO WALK AWAY, YOU NEED TO BE SMART ENOUGH TO LET HIM"

True. Sorry about everything. My heart goes out to you.

Im sorry. It does seem like he and that girl do have something going on, tho. Otherwise why would he HAVE to know right away if you contacted her?? I say its time to walk away. he will realize what he lost, but if its too late then too bad for him. :hugs im sorry.

:( i'm so sorry hun...i'm sure it must be really hard to deal with! good luck! :)

I love that quote and yep, it's very true! Thanks for sending me that! :)

I don't think your reading into it....sounds to me he's not ready to commit to you and that is sad. You have been loyal to him since he left and he's being a jerk.

:agree :hugs

Im sorry. It does seem like he and that girl do have something going on, tho. Otherwise why would he HAVE to know right away if you contacted her?? I say its time to walk away. he will realize what he lost, but if its too late then too bad for him. :hugs im sorry.

Ya I thought of that also, and actually was tempted for awhile to myspace her because I'm guessing now that she knows nothing about me. Not to be mean or anything, but to see if she even knows about me at all. But I don't know if its worth it. I jus hate that he thinks he can get away with this, but if it wasn't her, it'd be some other girl.

:hugs I'm sorry hun! I don't think you are reading to much into it, sounds like he's up to no good.

I contact her... :stirpot Just cause he said not to.

I contact her... :stirpot Just cause he said not to.

Yep! I would do the same thing!

I don't think your reading into it....sounds to me he's not ready to commit to you and that is sad. You have been loyal to him since he left and he's being a jerk.

I agree. Sorry!!

Im sorry too..it was definitely the right thing to ask him. His avoidance does speak volumes, i think you're right about walking away. You shouldnt settle for waiting for someone who doesnt want to make any committments to you, thats giving him his cake while he's eating it too. You're better than that, and its great that you say you wont compete with anyone else because thats so true... no woman should. You never know what will happen when he comes back, but as for now your best bet is to try and move on and let fate take its course. Hang in there, you're strong you'll be ok!

Im sorry. It does seem like he and that girl do have something going on, tho. Otherwise why would he HAVE to know right away if you contacted her?? I say its time to walk away. he will realize what he lost, but if its too late then too bad for him. :hugs im sorry.

:agree If there was nothing going on he would not care if you contacted her or not.

I also agree with leftover.
:hugs I'n sorry your going through this

I would contact her just to let her know there's someone in the picture, so SHE doesn't get cheated (afterall, this is his doing, not hers). Then I would move on. You deserve someone that will care for you and ONLY you. That trust is especially important during a deployment. Be the bigger person and move on, I know you can find someone better.

Im sorry he's treating you like this :hugs you deserve so much better than him and from what Im seeing her IMO it seems that your giving your all to him yet he's not returning any of it back to you. Its better to move on now, he's not worth your tears and heartache!!!

I'm sorry sweetie AND don't let him walk all over you because he is there and you are here!!

Im sorry. It does seem like he and that girl do have something going on, tho. Otherwise why would he HAVE to know right away if you contacted her?? I say its time to walk away. he will realize what he lost, but if its too late then too bad for him. :hugs im sorry.

:agree

he's done f**ked up and lied. be a better woman, and find urself a man who knows what he has! :hugs

I contact her... :stirpot Just cause he said not to.

ITA!!!

I would contact her just to let her know there's someone in the picture, so SHE doesn't get cheated (afterall, this is his doing, not hers). Then I would move on. You deserve someone that will care for you and ONLY you. That trust is especially important during a deployment. Be the bigger person and move on, I know you can find someone better.

:agree

What if he's told her that he was single :blahblah no girlfriend :blahblah and lied to her.. If I was interested in a guy, I'd like to know if he was a liar right off the bat. If he turns out to be a liar, I'd buy him a 12 month subscription to gay porno mags delivered to his APO, and dump him.

I always told my husband when we were dating that he couldn't tell me what to do because he didn't have any papers on me...

:agree

What if he's told her that he was single :blahblah no girlfriend :blahblah and lied to her.. If I was interested in a guy, I'd like to know if he was a liar right off the bat. If he turns out to be a liar, I'd buy him a 12 month subscription to gay porno mags delivered to his APO, and dump him.
I always told my husband when we were dating that he couldn't tell me what to do because he didn't have any papers on me...

:roflmao Thank You! I needed that! and I TOTALLY agree. He sounds like a POS.

I'm sorry girl, I think you should just move on. Good Luck.

:agreebut i wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide. you shouldnt have to wait for him if he is not treating you with the respect and love that you deserve.

:roflmao Thank You! I needed that! and I TOTALLY agree. He sounds like a POS.

It makes me mad that he's being all defensive! :vent It's like he KNOWS what he's doing is wrong, but he's trying to justify it by using a deployment as an excuse... And it concerns me that there's no communication on his part, it's not a good way to start things out.. Guys like that piss me off... Especially when he has a girlfriend at home who's willing to wait for him to come home because she loves him. :rant He has no idea how lucky he is.:madwife

I'm sorry, but ugly Army girls all look real hot in the desert.:nope

It makes me mad that he's being all defensive! :vent It's like he KNOWS what he's doing is wrong, but he's trying to justify it by using a deployment as an excuse... And it concerns me that there's no communication on his part, it's not a good way to start things out.. Guys like that piss me off... Especially when he has a girlfriend at home who's willing to wait for him to come home because she loves him. :rant He has no idea how lucky he is.:madwife

I'm sorry, but ugly Army girls all look real hot in the desert.:nope
:yes Yep, even all nasty and manly and sweaty, after a few months they start looking hot.

He sounds like hes hiding the OP from this other girl :tsktsk :noway Thats a buncha crap.

:agree

What if he's told her that he was single :blahblah no girlfriend :blahblah and lied to her.. If I was interested in a guy, I'd like to know if he was a liar right off the bat. If he turns out to be a liar, I'd buy him a 12 month subscription to gay porno mags delivered to his APO, and dump him.

I always told my husband when we were dating that he couldn't tell me what to do because he didn't have any papers on me...

Oh, you girls are making me feel so much better! And I got a good laugh out of the porno mag suggestion! :twisted I jus emailed her....I was totally nice and just asked if she knew about me and the things db and I have been planning...we'll see if she writes back. :) And I can guarantee I'll be getting hate mail/phone call from db...apparently he cares more about what she thinks then what I do! :reallymad Thanks for all the help so far...it's helping me realize that I totally havent lost it and that he ISNT acting right in this situation. Loves to all!

Oh, you girls are making me feel so much better! And I got a good laugh out of the porno mag suggestion! :twisted I jus emailed her....I was totally nice and just asked if she knew about me and the things db and I have been planning...we'll see if she writes back. :) And I can guarantee I'll be getting hate mail/phone call from db...apparently he cares more about what she thinks then what I do! :reallymad Thanks for all the help so far...it's helping me realize that I totally havent lost it and that he ISNT acting right in this situation. Loves to all!
I think you made a wise decision! I would have definitely emailed her, shes a woman too. Maybe shes being played as well. Im glad your seeing the light, and dont worry about his dumb ass. Update us on what she says!

:) And I can guarantee I'll be getting hate mail/phone call from db...apparently he cares more about what she thinks then what I do! :reallymad Thanks for all the help so far...it's helping me realize that I totally havent lost it and that he ISNT acting right in this situation. Loves to all!


I never thought of that.. :spank I can understand that he's going to be working with her for a while, but that's no reason to be thoughtless of YOUR feelings. :nope

Ouch! I agree that I think it is time to move on! You deserve so much better! I am sorry! :hugs

Oh, you girls are making me feel so much better! And I got a good laugh out of the porno mag suggestion! :twisted I jus emailed her....I was totally nice and just asked if she knew about me and the things db and I have been planning...we'll see if she writes back. :) And I can guarantee I'll be getting hate mail/phone call from db...apparently he cares more about what she thinks then what I do! :reallymad Thanks for all the help so far...it's helping me realize that I totally havent lost it and that he ISNT acting right in this situation. Loves to all!

I think you made a wise decision! I would have definitely emailed her, shes a woman too. Maybe shes being played as well. Im glad your seeing the light, and dont worry about his dumb ass. Update us on what she says!

Oh I definately will! Not sure how often she gets on myspace, but will keep you posted :) I'm hoping and praying she DIDN'T know about me...she looks like a really nice girl jus from her profile pic. Cuz if she did know...that would be so NOT COOL!!!! course, not like she'd tell me anyway. But at least I put it out there. I'm pretty sure I've burned all bridges with db by doing this...especially for our trip. I'm ok with taking things slow with us...but considering where we were at and the stuff we were talking about, this is too big a step backwards. Did he really think I'd be alright with that PLUS another girl??? Ha, he's got another thing coming!

:agree

What if he's told her that he was single :blahblah no girlfriend :blahblah and lied to her.. If I was interested in a guy, I'd like to know if he was a liar right off the bat. If he turns out to be a liar, I'd buy him a 12 month subscription to gay porno mags delivered to his APO, and dump him.

I always told my husband when we were dating that he couldn't tell me what to do because he didn't have any papers on me...

:rofl

You did the right thing by emailing her and letting her know. And if she did know then shes just as bad as he is.. and they deserve their skanky arses!

Your better off without him if he is a lieing cheating skum bag. I tell my DB that if he did cheat on me I would fly to wherever he is and castrate him with a pair of rusty blades. :giggle

MEN I SWEAR.. cant live with them and you sure as hell cant breed without them!

I'm glad you emailed her. If there were a valid reason why you shouldn't email her, he would have given it to you. And if he didn't well that's his tough sh*t.

You're well rid of him. It sounds like he's trying to "check his option" (sorry, poker reference) and keep her there for now and then come back to you after he's done with deployment. What a jerk. Even if it was all on the up and up, his evasiveness worries me with how he would be in the future. You don't need to be with someone who can't give straight answers, particularly if you're a long way apart, as we all are at some point in the military.

Good for you, and now you've got to block him out. If you do get the hate mail, respond to it that it was uncalled for and you don't want to hear from him again. If he bothers you again, block his email address (and tell him that you're doing that). This guy needs to learn that he can't screw with women like this and expect to get away with it.

I'm glad you emailed her. If there were a valid reason why you shouldn't email her, he would have given it to you. And if he didn't well that's his tough sh*t.

You're well rid of him. It sounds like he's trying to "check his option" (sorry, poker reference) and keep her there for now and then come back to you after he's done with deployment. What a jerk. Even if it was all on the up and up, his evasiveness worries me with how he would be in the future. You don't need to be with someone who can't give straight answers, particularly if you're a long way apart, as we all are at some point in the military.

Good for you, and now you've got to block him out. If you do get the hate mail, respond to it that it was uncalled for and you don't want to hear from him again. If he bothers you again, block his email address (and tell him that you're doing that). This guy needs to learn that he can't screw with women like this and expect to get away with it.

Wow everything you've mentioned is all stuff that concerns me and that I've thought about too! If, as they say, the dating period is the "rosy" time, where guys do all they can to impress you, then I don't have much hope huh? :) If this is as good as it gets with him? :) I guess I understand that there's details and stuff he wont be able to tell me about work, but THIS IS NOT ONE OF THEM! He sent me an email once saying that he wants to be known for his honesty with me...I don't see him working on that very hard right about now. And if I don't trust him now, I never will. Any deployment with him will jus be hell in the future. I didn't even go into this expecting that he would do this, or even letting it cross my mind. I know every woman is scared about this, but considering ALOT of stuff that has happened with us in the past when we dated before that you girls don't even know about and this situation right now, it's making me wanna run for the hills! We'll see if I get hate mail...he's not the changed man I thought he was, at all! But live and learn and I'll find a better one someday who loves me right! :)

You did the right thing by emailing her and letting her know. And if she did know then shes just as bad as he is.. and they deserve their skanky arses!

Your better off without him if he is a lieing cheating skum bag. I tell my DB that if he did cheat on me I would fly to wherever he is and castrate him with a pair of rusty blades. :giggle

MEN I SWEAR.. cant live with them and you sure as hell cant breed without them!

:hystericlaugh

i told my man if he ever cheated on me i'd superglue his dick to his stomach while he was sleeping and see what pops up in the morning.:devil

Well,girls...here's the email I got this am from d-exb.
"You are correct I'm spending time with Sarah. That's all there is to it. We need to wrap this up before it ends dirty. I don't want to loose you as a friend. Who knows where things are going to be when I return. But as of now this is not going to work. I'm gone for to long. I can't handle it. I can't deal with not knowing what's going to happen in the future. What's your take on things? you said you wanted to think about it."
Wow. I can't believe that. I would have stuck with him thru the whole thing, moved for his sorry ass, and he says HE CAN'T HANDLE IT???? Guess it's better I know now, as he for sure would have done the same thing at some point in the future, if not now. And correct me if I'm wrong, but ISN"T THIS ILLEGAL OVER THERE????? I'd so love to get his ass in trouble. Sarah hasn't gotten on myspace yet to read my message to her, but I hope that she realizes her knight in shining armour is really a dog who uses people till the next best thing comes along when she does read it. I sent him an appropriate fuck off and lengthy email about how he's a piece of shit and that WE WILL NEVER BE FRIENDS, and how he fucked up his second and LAST chance with me. I'm so heartbroke right now...this is supposed to be a happy ending with us...not like this!!!! Why can't he keep his dick in his pants???? Guess if they are a cheater, they'll be a cheater no matter where they are. I told him he's a liar, manipulator, and scum. Guess that's enough rambling about that for now...
"

I know that you care, or cared, about this guy but he sounds like a jerk... he doesnt deserve you... as hard as it may be, try and find a way to move one, and run as fast as you can and leave him in the dust. You said in a previous post that this was his second chance, well he was lucky to have gotten that, and he screwed up again! How stupid! Sometimes I wonder what goes through guys heads. I mean, they have it good... someone who loves them, and would do anything for them and they still screw up! Then they wonder why we dont want to be "friends" afterwards...