I was not sure where to put this thread but since I am pregnant and it's about the pregnacy then I guess I will put it here...

I am 35 weeks pregnant(due Dec 6th) and I am consider high risk pregnancy. DH is deployed at the moment to Afghanistan.

Where should I start? DH was supposed to come home after the birth in January because we thought that the pregnancy and labor will be fine with just me and my mom and friends around me..That is until I found out that I am consider high risk pregnancy so I decided no way I am going to do this alone without DH by my side...Yes I am happy that my mom is going to be here with me but deep inside me I just need my DH to tell me that everything is going to be ok...So I get a letter from the doctors explaining that DH needs to be there during labor because of my condition and gave it to the Rear D Commander so he can work something out with the command downrage. My last appoinment was on Tuesday and from the check it's still Dec 6th which is fine by me. And I ofcourse told DH about it and he told his command about it because they wanted to know the due date.

Anyways he tells me last night that they won't let him go until the 3rd. Dec because am due on the 6th which is crazy is my opinion because they know already that pregnancy is high risk and the fact that he has to fly from afghanistan to kuwait and then to germany..Anyone in their right mind knows how the flights work, there is never a set in stone that you can get a seat on a plane..So chances of him making it back by the 4th is 50 percent. And also the fact that my pregnancy is already high risk, the baby could come even earlier than 6th december and I just feel like they are playing with time and my freaking labor...What's the point of sending him home for R&R then if he might not even make it when am in labor...So what am I suppose to do? Cross my bloody legs and put it up and hope that the baby doesn't come out until he gets home...

I am just really upset now and been crying the last 30 min or so..I usually suck it up and have been holding my anger and sadness with alot of calm, until I spoke to my FRG leader and told her what happen and I just suddenly broke down. I have been strong the last 6 months of the deployement especially with being alone here in Germany and being pregnant. I keep telling myself that everything is going to be ok and that he will be home soon and that his unit will understand but I guess I am wrong...They are all bloody wankers.. I guess my sensitive hormones have got to me:(( I just wanted him home sooner because I am really scared...:(

aw hun I'm so sorry. I don't know if I would even be able to hold it together as well as you have! Stay strong but it's okay to breakdown who doesn't? :bigsadhug :bigsadhug I'll be praying for you guys

Trust me it has not been easy to hold it together but I have been trying to keep it strong for me and the baby...I am just so upset right now...I didn't sleep till 6 in the morning because I was tossing and turning and things were running in my mind...

Of course! Whenever I'm upset about things sleep is always the first thing to go. Can you go out and treat yourself to a day or part of a day for you? Or stay in and watch a good movie and have some hot cocca maybe? Anything to just calm your nerves a little? Or at least one of your favorite things to do alone. You might try and get your mind off this stuff for a little bit if possible (as hard as that always feels) :cheerup

Yeah I have been watching movies the last hour or so..keeping myself occupied...It's already 9 in the evening here so it's kinda late to go out...

Also to the 50 views..I guess you just enjoy reading and not saying anything...Have a nice day..

im sorry hun! Hopefullt things woek out but you cant let yourself get too worked up or the baby WILL come early!

I was not sure where to put this thread but since I am pregnant and it's about the pregnacy then I guess I will put it here...

I am 35 weeks pregnant(due Dec 6th) and I am consider high risk pregnancy. DH is deployed at the moment to Afghanistan.

Where should I start? DH was supposed to come home after the birth in January because we thought that the pregnancy and labor will be fine with just me and my mom and friends around me..That is until I found out that I am consider high risk pregnancy so I decided no way I am going to do this alone without DH by my side...Yes I am happy that my mom is going to be here with me but deep inside me I just need my DH to tell me that everything is going to be ok...So I get a letter from the doctors explaining that DH needs to be there during labor because of my condition and gave it to the Rear D Commander so he can work something out with the command downrage. My last appoinment was on Tuesday and from the check it's still Dec 6th which is fine by me. And I ofcourse told DH about it and he told his command about it because they wanted to know the due date.

Anyways he tells me last night that they won't let him go until the 3rd. Dec because am due on the 6th which is crazy is my opinion because they know already that pregnancy is high risk and the fact that he has to fly from afghanistan to kuwait and then to germany..Anyone in their right mind knows how the flights work, there is never a set in stone that you can get a seat on a plane..So chances of him making it back by the 4th is 50 percent. And also the fact that my pregnancy is already high risk, the baby could come even earlier than 6th december and I just feel like they are playing with time and my freaking labor...What's the point of sending him home for R&R then if he might not even make it when am in labor...So what am I suppose to do? Cross my bloody legs and put it up and hope that the baby doesn't come out until he gets home...

I am just really upset now and been crying the last 30 min or so..I usually suck it up and have been holding my anger and sadness with alot of calm, until I spoke to my FRG leader and told her what happen and I just suddenly broke down. I have been strong the last 6 months of the deployement especially with being alone here in Germany and being pregnant. I keep telling myself that everything is going to be ok and that he will be home soon and that his unit will understand but I guess I am wrong...They are all bloody wankers.. I guess my sensitive hormones have got to me:(( I just wanted him home sooner because I am really scared...:(
I know your hormonal. So don't take this the wrong way.

:hugs

Lots of women have their children w/o their DH by their side. I'm not making light of you or the baby and that your high risk. I want your man to be with you if he can during that time. Militarylife is hard. I know that if he could be with you all these days he would. But, I guess I'm telling you like I tell myself when I look in the mirror in a tough time/situation. He doesn't wear the uniform for fun (Halloween has passed). It's a job. A hard job/reminder of why we all do what we do.

I feel very empathetic for you. I don't have children, but always wondered what would I do if I were in your situation? I guess that's why I always took into consideration long deployments and pregnancy before they happened (this is just me, so again please don't get offended). The only things I can think of, your family and friends are there. Do you know any of the ladies in the FRG? Neighbors?, etc.

I guess the good part is if they release him on 12/3 and he's here for the actual due date. If you start contracting, just go to the hospital. Isn't there any kind of meds they can give you to not induce? Meaning let's say you go into labor on 12/5 at bedtime and he's there 12/6 at 6am. You know what I mean?

Honestly, the most important part is you and the baby will both be OK and as much as I want your Hubs to be with you. If it's cutting it to close for some reason. You'll be in the right place in good hands.

PM me if I can do absolutely anything for you.

I hope it all works hun! xoxooxoxo

Hi hun....I almost started crying when I read this. I hate what they are doing by forcing you guys to cut it so close. I can imagine how scared you are to be alone and have your baby and I think your DH should be there. I am going to :pray for you that you don't have to delivery the baby until he gets there. Please keep us updated on your progress...I had no clue you were high risk....:( :hugehug

I understand your frustration. I too was listed as High Risk with both my pregnancies. There was fear of placenta abrupta, low birth weight, prematurity, etc. I was over 35 yrs old.

I just want you to know that for me everything went fine both times. Although my husband was at my side at the deliveries, his presence didn't exactly calm or help me. He more or less added to my stress. I relied more on the main nurse who was trained to deal with what I was going through. I can appreciate that you though, would feel more comforted to have him by your side. For that reason I certainly hope that his flight arrives before your contractions do.

A pregnancy is labeled as High Risk for a myriad of reasons. Often the doctors need to protect themselves from malpractice, they have insurance issues, and they err on the conservative side when things iffy but essentially normal. They try to stay cautious, which I suppose is a good thing. I'm not sure of your specific situation.

I wanted simply to share that in my case, the event of the actual birth(s) was anti-climatic. All the pre-testing, ultrasounds, amnios, -and all those dire potential consequences, were for nothing in the end. My kids were perfectly healthy, as I am sure yours baby will be.

:hugehug
You're doing great, and you're in the final leg of this journey. It's easy to see you'll be a fantastic mother. Try not to panic. Your DH may well arrive in time and all this anxiety will be forgotten soon. (L)

My biggest fear during labor is having a serious asthma attack...I have been having small ones the last few weeks because of the weather change so of course it slowly getting to me that I might have a big one when it comes during labor...I guess wanting to have DH there by my side will help me calm down...
I am just scared. I don't want anything to happen to the baby:(

Lots of women have their children w/o their DH by their side. I'm not making light of you or the baby and that your high risk. I want your man to be with you if he can during that time. Militarylife is hard. I know that if he could be with you all these days he would. But, I guess I'm telling you like I tell myself when I look in the mirror in a tough time/situation. He doesn't wear the uniform for fun (Halloween has passed). It's a job. A hard job/reminder of why we all do what we do.

I feel very empathetic for you. I don't have children, but always wondered what would I do if I were in your situation? I guess that's why I always took into consideration long deployments and pregnancy before they happened (this is just me, so again please don't get offended). The only things I can think of, your family and friends are there. Do you know any of the ladies in the FRG? Neighbors?, etc.

I guess the good part is if they release him on 12/3 and he's here for the actual due date. If you start contracting, just go to the hospital. Isn't there any kind of meds they can give you to not induce? Meaning let's say you go into labor on 12/5 at bedtime and he's there 12/6 at 6am. You know what I mean?

Honestly, the most important part is you and the baby will both be OK and as much as I want your Hubs to be with you. If it's cutting it to close for some reason. You'll be in the right place in good hands.


No worries..I am hormonal but I don't take offence...I expect to hear different opinions and that is why I wrote on the board...

I know military life is hard..I knew it before and after I got married to DH. And my dad is prior military too. And I expected someone will bring it up saying this is what you have to expect when you are married to the military...Yes I expect it but that doesn't mean at this moment of time when I am feeling crap that I will accept it...I have been strong and holding on to my sanity the last 6 months while everyone have their moments of downess. But the fact that I am close to labor and scared of giving birth and with the news of the DH, I just snap...I just am sick and tired of being strong at this moment in time.

I know that alot of military wives have to endure child birth without their DH and I sympathize with them..I accepted in the beginning that it might happen to me. But all the pregnancy high risk happen and the fact that his command was informed of it and knew what was going on, I thought they would try their best to help out with the situation...But unfortunately that didn't happen or actually it's more like they just think I will hold him in till the 6th December.

My neighbors are here to support and I know the FRG leader very well...And my mom will be here...but I guess I just want DH to be here too...I would have accepted if they told me that they couldn't let him go until january..but the fact that they are letting him go early because of my high risk pregnancy but at the same time cutting it close to time just mind boggles me..that's what upsets me..What's the point of sending him on the 3rd dec if I might go in labor early?

I am sorry that he isnt coming home earlier. Make sure if anything happens earlier you red cross a message to him. I dont have any advice but I hope everything goes smoothly!

I am sorry that he isnt coming home earlier. Make sure if anything happens earlier you red cross a message to him. I dont have any advice but I hope everything goes smoothly!

Yes I have already prepare a list of numbers and things to do incase of emergency..And the FRG leader also has my contact list for emergency and knows to contact red cross if I do go into labor before he comes home.

Try to stay relaxed for you an the baby's sake. The last thing you want is to get stressed out / freaked out by the way they've scheduled your DH to come home, and go into labor any time soon! Stay safe and try to keep that baby in there until its due date!

BTW: Lots of people view threads and don't reply, for whatever reason. Try not to judge those reasons - maybe their computer crashed, or they had to go deal with a kid, or who knows. Try not to take it as a personal slight, it probably isn't... and the more jumpy you get, the less inclined people are to get involved. I'm sure everyone is wishing you the best, even if they don't have the time to post it.

BTW: Lots of people view threads and don't reply, for whatever reason. Try not to judge those reasons - maybe their computer crashed, or they had to go deal with a kid, or who knows. Try not to take it as a personal slight, it probably isn't... and the more jumpy you get, the less inclined people are to get involved. I'm sure everyone is wishing you the best, even if they don't have the time to post it.


When I wrote this thread, I really needed to hear some comforting words or even an action...I don't expect an essay..but just a hug would have made me feel better...that's why I was being a bit sarcastic after no response....Would it have really hurt to put a hug smilie? JMO

On the side note..Am feeling better today..I guess yesterday was one of my bad days...Deployment stress, pregnancy hormones, etc...Thank you to those who read my thread:D

On the side note..Am feeling better today..I guess yesterday was one of my bad days...Deployment stress, pregnancy hormones, etc...Thank you to those who read my thread:D

I am so sorry you are having to go through all this stress AND pregnancy. My husband was at AIT when our now 6 month old was born. He didn't even get to see the baby until the end of may and he was born april 27. I had a c-section and I was really scared. I too wanted him there and what was worse is that HE WASN'T even doing ANYTHING!!! Classes hadn't even started yet...they were just goofing off. I wasn't mad at him but the freakin military for being such time wasters. So I hope that you make it to your due date just so your DH can be there. Believe me, you won't want to make it but just maybe.........:hugehug

Oh hun, I'm so glad you are feeling better today. I was worried about ya but a good night's sleep can help so much. Keep up that good attitude you have today and stay positive! :hugehug

glad your feeling better today:bigsadhug

I am so sorry you are having to go through all this stress AND pregnancy. My husband was at AIT when our now 6 month old was born. He didn't even get to see the baby until the end of may and he was born april 27. I had a c-section and I was really scared. I too wanted him there and what was worse is that HE WASN'T even doing ANYTHING!!! Classes hadn't even started yet...they were just goofing off. I wasn't mad at him but the freakin military for being such time wasters. So I hope that you make it to your due date just so your DH can be there. Believe me, you won't want to make it but just maybe.........:hugehug

I guess I am just annoyed with his unit...Expected more from them...Just a whole lot of bullcrap going on in his unit...

I hope I make it to my due date but honestly I have a feeling I will be having him by the end of this month...He's been moving a lot and kicking like crazy...A really active baby...But we will see how that goes...Maybe he listen to his dad(DH told him on the phone when i put the phone on my tummy) and stays in until his dad comes home...

Oh hun, I'm so glad you are feeling better today. I was worried about ya but a good night's sleep can help so much. Keep up that good attitude you have today and stay positive! :hugehug

Thanks Dani...Yeah the sleep was good...

I'm sorry sweetie. I know you want him with you but if he isn't able to get there on time atleast know that he will be there after the baby is born. I hope everything goes well and he is able to be there with you. :hugs :goodvibes

Finally got to talk to DH today and I of course was blubbering like an idiot on the phone about how scared I was about the labor, etc...He said not to worry that everything will be all right and that he will be there....I think hearing him reassure me that he will be there calm me down...

I was probably one of those that read and did not respond.. I am sorry. I could have sent a :hug to help you feel better..

I however have had all of my children (minus the first 2 since they are not his) with out my Dh.. I was induced the first time and emergency c-sectioned the last 2 . All three due to Severe Pre-eclempsia and toxemia... He was deployed for the first two and stationed in NC for the last one ( i was still living in TX) all three had NICU stays..

All I have to say is (and in no way do I mean to sound like a B**CH) it's part of the job and when I married my DH I knew that it could happen. Nothing I could do about it.. Did what I had to do to make sure that my children were safe and taken care of.. Neither time that he was deployed did his command let him come home early bc I was high risk.. they did not care..

I hope that things are better for you than they were for me. It seems that they already are since his command is letting him come home from a deployment to be with you.. I am happy that they can do that for you!!!

Make sure that you do not let yourself get to overworked or overwhelmed and just take things day by day. Relax a lot and get as much sleep as possible ( on your left side.. it helps the blood flow better)..

Sorry to make it a novel just thought I would clarify why I did not respond since it seemed to make you more upset.. I sympathize with you and your situation and wish you all the best! Good luck!!!!

I was another who read and didn't respond. I didn't because there really wasn't much I could say to make you feel better. Ya unfortunately it is part of military life but it doesn't make it suck any less! I pray that he will be able to be there with you and that everything will go smoothly.

:hugs

It's ok..no worries...I knew what I was getting myself into when I married a military men...It's part of the package..It's just one of those days when I let my guard down and I get frustrated...I am fine now...But thank you for responding:D

I am glad that you are doing better. Sometimes the frustration gets the best of us and we forget that at least good will happen. Even if he cant be there when the baby is born at least he will be there soon after to be with you. I hope that everything goes well and that you can make it to your due date so that he can be there with you. :hugehug

~*~Charity~*~

I am so sorry about your situation and I hope that your DH gets there in time to be there with you :)