Hey everyone I need some advice. My boyfriend left for army basic in September and he's coming home in December for 2 weeks, then he's off to Oklahoma for 6 months. After that, I don't know his schedule or where he's going. But in a lot of his letters he's been talking about how this training really made him realize how much he loves me and wants me in his life forever and how he really wants to get engaged at some point, especially if he has to go to Iraq, which is a strong possibility. This makes me very happy, however I don't know what to think. The only reason I'm not sure just yet is because I'm in my freshman year at college and I still have 3 years to go after this one. I don't know how I could be married to someone while in college while they are away. But then again I know we're not breaking up so maybe marriage is a better way to handle this? I'm not sure. I know he's the love of my life and I'm so glad he's thinking about proposing. But I'm kinda confused at how this would work. If I were to live with him on base, I don't know if I could find a school around there. I know I have to finish school, that is a must. So some please help. Is it easier when married or engaged? Or should we wait?

Get engaged(if thats what you both want) and see how it goes with the seperation. Then you both will know if it's the situation or something you really want.

I understand how you feel with the whole college part i am a freshman as well.. my boyfriend and i have talked and neither of us will get married until we both graduate college... but right now he is in a position where i can see him once a month so its not that horrible. I would wait and see how everything works out while he is oklahoma... if there is a school that you could go to around there. There are a ton of factors that go into it.. especially a decision like that

I got married after my freshman year of college and am still in school (I did take about a year and a half off, but I'm back and doing better than ever now!) We got married under similar circumstances. I won't say that it's easy - because it's extremely difficult. In my case, we both knew without a doubt that getting married was just the right thing for us to do. We felt it in our hearts without any questioning or doubts. And looking back now, though it would have been "smarter" to wait until we were both done with school and had more money, etc...we wouldn't change it for the world!

There are always ways around moving and finishing schools. So many schools now have online degree programs or courses...and with military, if you've EVER lived in a state, you can claim in-state tuition for that state (I think this is right, I remember seeing something like this). It will be a hassle at first, but if you really want to get married, then you'll make it work and find a way.

As for him being gone while being in college - being in classes and school is what really got me THROUGH my DH's deployment last year. I basically studied and read and did homework the entire time and did so well in classes because I had no other distractions! It was a wonderful way to improve myself and keep busy, so it's definitely doable!

Good luck to you in whatever you decide :hugs

i think you should do what you both think is right. i mean if you know you want to be with him forever then i say go for it. just because you get engaged doesnt mean you have to get married the next month. you can be engaged until you finish school and then get married-thats the good thing-there isnt a time limit-just your own. hope it gets easier to make the decisions that you both need to make. me and dh were engaged for a year and a half before we got married-but he called me his "wive" since we got engaged. he said it didnt matter when we got married because he knew we were going to be together no matter what. best wishes

Hey everyone I need some advice. My boyfriend left for army basic in September and he's coming home in December for 2 weeks, then he's off to Oklahoma for 6 months. After that, I don't know his schedule or where he's going. But in a lot of his letters he's been talking about how this training really made him realize how much he loves me and wants me in his life forever and how he really wants to get engaged at some point, especially if he has to go to Iraq, which is a strong possibility. This makes me very happy, however I don't know what to think. The only reason I'm not sure just yet is because I'm in my freshman year at college and I still have 3 years to go after this one. I don't know how I could be married to someone while in college while they are away. But then again I know we're not breaking up so maybe marriage is a better way to handle this? I'm not sure. I know he's the love of my life and I'm so glad he's thinking about proposing. But I'm kinda confused at how this would work. If I were to live with him on base, I don't know if I could find a school around there. I know I have to finish school, that is a must. So some please help. Is it easier when married or engaged? Or should we wait?

It's funny how when they are away, especially in BCT, it makes them realize how much they love us! (L) I can really relate to you and your situation right now. DF was in Basic and was constantly talking about marriage, and it was always definitely something I wanted with him. I went to see him for his Basic Grad, and it was then that we both just knew that it was right, even with the commitments (school and military) that we already had... I'm also a freshman in college so I know how you feel. I take school very, very seriously and DF knows that. But because he loves me, he's supporting my decision to stay in school and he's going to help me in any way possible. We're set to get married in December! If he happens to be deployed, I think I can agree with the other ladies by saying that being in school, work, etc. will definitely help you out. Staying busy is key! Otherwise, you'll be at home moping and missing him. It's okay to miss him, but I think staying busy makes it a little easier and makes the time go by a lot faster! I think if you two really love each other, you'll make it work. However, if you think you guys can wait, go for it. It doesn't hurt to wait. DF and I couldn't! But, if YOU CAN'T stand to be apart then you should get married and find a way to compromise you being in school and being with him at the same time. If there's a will, there's a way... GOOD LUCK! :happy

DH and I knew rite away we wanted to get married.. I thought he was joking when he said "lets do it, let get married" (hes such a romantic.. lol!) but we got married on his family day the day before BCT graduation, and neither of us regret a thing.. we havnt yet been through a deployment, but i think in our cases it will make it easier, because i had the fear of him going over seas and meeting someone else.. now that were married he really doesnt look anymore. (im not dumb.. he looks, but not like he used to!)

in some wierd way it all works for us, but that doesnt mean it will for you! follow your heart.. thats what i did and i have NEVER been happier!