what will happen to db's military career? can he stay in? any advice as to what he should do?

also where could all this put me us not being married and all?

Until you are legally married you don't exist to the military.

As far as his career, he needs to talk to Legal and his chain of command ASAP

I am sure he can write up some paperwork appointing you as the legal guardian. (Since he is the, erm, functioning parent)

did i miss something?

yeah i had a thread in venting under omg something or other really long story.

It doesnt have to do anything to his career....as long as he has someone to take care of the kids... (ie YOU)

as long as the kids are enrolled in tricare, there is no reason why u cant tend to their needs.

I been thru this with DF's kids....we're not married either, their mother is a whack job....and during his last deployment, the kids stayed with me.

In ur case, tho, if their mother decides to come snatch them back...she can, if he's deployed.

what about if she gives up rights?

what about if she gives up rights?

well then she gives up rights. doesnt matter either way....the military isnt going to discharge him because he has custody of his children....as long as he has a care plan.

YOU dont have to be legal guardian or stepmom to take care of them while he deploys or works. Just willing.

good to know thanx

he might not get discharged but he might be granted emergancy leave, i would also advise sending a red cross message so he knows what is going on and the command does. i know that in the navy the command won't always recongize anything until an AMCross is sent. the way it was explained to my husband when he talked to the army recruiter was someone had to have legal custody of our son, because we weren't married. but i would think that if you have a care plan then that would be what matters. also have him check into housing on post if he has custody of his kids he should be entitled to that. that is one messed up situation. hopefully they will allow him to come home to deal with it.

good luck with everything!