I have met quite a few ladies recently that "I" consider to be "moms". Only difference, they have no children here on earth to show that they are. Do you consider them moms?

Poll incoming:wink

Of course they are moms!

yep like i said in the other thread i believe you are a mom from the time you get that positive

you would be surprised how often they hear from people that they arent moms till they have children to show for it. :no

you would be surprised how often they hear from people that they arent moms till they have children to show for it. :no

people are buttfaces

you would be surprised how often they hear from people that they arent moms till they have children to show for it. :no

That is so sad! I cannot believe people sometimes. Some people are just ignorant, and hateful!:sadeyes

I belive you are a Mom from the minute you see that +. I was pregnant and misscarried but I was still a Mom to that child that is an angel now.. from conception you are a Mom. (L)

Absolutely 100%
And that means I am a mom to 4, 2 living.

When you are pg, you are responsible for that child, so yes, you(general) are a mom.

I wonder if the person who voted no will speak up and say why? :thinking

Personally, I didn't consider myself a mom until DD was born. If she had been still born or had passed early on, I would have considered myself a mom who lost a child.

However, if I had miscarried, I wouldn't have considered myself a mom yet.

i definately agree they are moms

Mom to me means more than just giving birth. Yes I consider some people who do not have children moms.

Personally, I didn't consider myself a mom until DD was born. If she had been still born or had passed early on, I would have considered myself a mom who lost a child.

However, if I had miscarried, I wouldn't have considered myself a mom yet.

I respect your opinion, but I have to disagree. :)

When you find out your pregnant, you love the baby, you nuture the baby, you care for the baby, you protect the baby, you may even name the baby. All the things you would do after you have given birth as well.

I respect your opinion, but I have to disagree. :)

When you find out your pregnant, you love the baby, you nuture the baby, you care for the baby, you protect the baby, you may even name the baby. All the things you would do after you have given birth as well.

I agree. From the moment you get a + test your outlook on life and the way you live changes. To me there is NO classification for the title of "mom". Whether you have m/c'd, lost a child (of any age), or have them here with you to raise.

I wonder if the person who voted no will speak up and say why?

I was the second to say no and I posted why. If it's a miscarriage, I don't think that person is a mother yet. I don't feel ur mom at the time of conception-I think u become a mom at the time of birth. I don't consider a miscarriage a birth. It's not to be mean or put anyone down, I have just never thought of anyone as a mom or dad until their child was born (even if it was a still birth, the baby was still developed to the point of needing to be born as opposed to a miscarriage that I don't really consider a birth).

Even myself and DH-I never thought of us as parents until DD was born. And we'd hear it from others too. They'd all say, "you're going to be such great parents" or "your're going to be such a good mom." We never heard that we were "good parents" yet before she was born. When talking about being parents, it was always future tense while I was pregnant.

It's funny because I'm completely prolife. I think it's the fear in me that something will happen to the pregnancy/infant and it's harder to let go if ur really, really attached. I had a hard time bonding with DD as an infant because I was afraid she'd die of SIDS or something and it'd hurt too much to go on if I was too attached to her and something happened to her. Sad for both of us, but I did hold back (I have a HUGE fear of death and loved ones dieing and had some close calls recent to her birth that I was still scared about).

The other no PM'd me. I have no issues with those that say no and will give the reason. She gave me her reason and I respect that, just like I do yours. Though I dont agree. Even guarding yourself to prepare yourself for a loss, doesnt protect you from the hurt.

Well, I don't think I would consider myself a mom if I had a miscarriage, but who knows, I've never been pregnant, so I can't say for sure. But everyone's situation is different, so I guess I'm not going to tell other people what to call themselves.

I consider some people who haven't even gotten a positive pregnancy test a mom. There are people out there who adopt or foster kids who are moms in my eyes. I took care of my nieces and nephew full time, all of their needs, for over three years. They still call me their "other mother" and I love them more than anything else on the planet. I don't know if I consider myself a "mom", but I do think that you don't have to physically get pregnant to be a mom. Just like you don't have to have a full term pregnancy to be a mom, or have children that live longer than you do.

I believe they are.

I had a late miscarriage and had to deliver my son. It was a miscarriage but I still had to deliver him. He was my first child he is my son I am is MOTHER.

I believe someone who cares and nutures a child to be a "mom" in the "parent" term. Anyone can carry a child (full term or not), care, and want into that child is. I am 100% prolife so for me a life starts at conception. I believe it is the "want" that is the trouble today.

To me it goes back to the when life starts concept and then leads into abortion. But that is another can of worms I don't want to open.

Personally, I didn't consider myself a mom until DD was born. If she had been still born or had passed early on, I would have considered myself a mom who lost a child.

However, if I had miscarried, I wouldn't have considered myself a mom yet.

I pretty much agree with this. I had a m/c 11 + years ago, and never considered myself a mom. I am pregnant now, and I still don't consider myself a mom. A mom-to-be, yes.

If my child made it out of the womb, and had even a SLIGHT possibility of living outside of the womb, and didn't make it, then I would consider myself a mom - as the child had a CHANCE to live, and didn't. If I miscarried before the child was viable outside of the womb, then no, I wouldn't consider myself a mom. Just MY opinion.

yep like i said in the other thread i believe you are a mom from the time you get that positive

:agree

Personally, I didn't consider myself a mom until DD was born. If she had been still born or had passed early on, I would have considered myself a mom who lost a child.

However, if I had miscarried, I wouldn't have considered myself a mom yet.

I pretty much agree with this. I had a m/c 11 + years ago, and never considered myself a mom. I am pregnant now, and I still don't consider myself a mom. A mom-to-be, yes.

If my child made it out of the womb, and had even a SLIGHT possibility of living outside of the womb, and didn't make it, then I would consider myself a mom - as the child had a CHANCE to live, and didn't. If I miscarried before the child was viable outside of the womb, then no, I wouldn't consider myself a mom. Just MY opinion.

I agree with both of what these ladies had to say.

I consider some people who haven't even gotten a positive pregnancy test a mom. There are people out there who adopt or foster kids who are moms in my eyes. I took care of my nieces and nephew full time, all of their needs, for over three years. They still call me their "other mother" and I love them more than anything else on the planet. I don't know if I consider myself a "mom", but I do think that you don't have to physically get pregnant to be a mom. Just like you don't have to have a full term pregnancy to be a mom, or have children that live longer than you do.

Oh yeah, I agree Trina, of course.

:yes..I had a miscarriage very early on and I still considered myself a mom then.

good point wicked

I pretty much agree with this. I had a m/c 11 + years ago, and never considered myself a mom. I am pregnant now, and I still don't consider myself a mom. A mom-to-be, yes.

If my child made it out of the womb, and had even a SLIGHT possibility of living outside of the womb, and didn't make it, then I would consider myself a mom - as the child had a CHANCE to live, and didn't. If I miscarried before the child was viable outside of the womb, then no, I wouldn't consider myself a mom. Just MY opinion.

I agree...

And also those that have adopted and are raising/have raised kids are mom's (or those that have just taken in a child & are raising it as their own).

Yes, I believe they are moms.

Personally, I didn't consider myself a mom until DD was born. If she had been still born or had passed early on, I would have considered myself a mom who lost a child.

However, if I had miscarried, I wouldn't have considered myself a mom yet.

I pretty much agree with this. I had a m/c 11 + years ago, and never considered myself a mom. I am pregnant now, and I still don't consider myself a mom. A mom-to-be, yes.

If my child made it out of the womb, and had even a SLIGHT possibility of living outside of the womb, and didn't make it, then I would consider myself a mom - as the child had a CHANCE to live, and didn't. If I miscarried before the child was viable outside of the womb, then no, I wouldn't consider myself a mom. Just MY opinion.

i put no. i agree with both of these, can't think of a better way to say it.

I have miscarried and while I mourned the lost pregnancy and the potential for life I did not consider myself a Mom yet. That came later when I gave birth to my first child.

Adoption & fostering is completely different. Of course they are Mom's.

I agree that they are mommies. Their babies are theirs forever, no matter what!

I think I would still be offended if they tried to give me parenting advice, though, same as I would if anyone else without kids did. I think that may be part of why they hear that so often. It's sucky of anyone to be mean like that, though!

I hope that wasn't offensive, I did answer honestly.

I think being a mother is to assume the responsibility of it.

Proud mommy to 3!!

1 running around now....1 baking in the oven....and 1 in heaven with granny. :wub

Yes they are still Mom's :yes

I think if the child lived out of the womb (incl adoptions of course :D )then yes, but otherwise I wouldn't consider that to be a mom, not in the same sense anyway. I don't really know how I feel about that. I had miscarriages before I ever had a real living baby, but I never felt like a mother til I really got to see him and look in his eyes. I think people who had stillborns are also mothers, which is why I'm not sure how I feel on this.

I'm conflicted on this one. I do think someone who has had a loss can be considered a mother, but also see other aspects to it.

Kind of like a father, step father situation. It's not flesh and blood but heart and soul which makes us fathers and sons.

It's takes alot to be considered a parent in my book and yet, I don't want to discredit those that have had loss or miscarried. Like I said, it's one of those questions I don't have an answer for because I believe both sides in two different ways.

Yes. Being pg is no easy task. Well, at least it isn't for me. I get pretty bad morning sickness, or for me all day and night sickness. My already bad sciatic nerve pain gets worse. PG is not the nicest to me. So I def. think if someone is pg, taking care of the life inside them, they are a mom. I don't understand how they are not. I sheltered, protected, fed, loved, bonded, etc with my kids when I was pg with them. It didn't start when I gave birth. And it wouldn't have ended or would end if they were no longer here.

I miscarried at 6.5 months. I AM a mother. My son had a name, I loved him, I was preparing to incorporate my life around him. It would not matter if I had held him in my arms before he passed or not. I would still love him and miss him as much as I do now. I am now and will always be a mother regardless if I ever have another baby.

I chose Other. I think its an individual thought. I gave birth to a child I surrendered for adoption. So I definitely didn't feel like a mom then! In fact, I dreaded people calling me a mom or a birthmom because I felt so horrid about myself.

When my ex and I suffered the first miscarriage and then the second both so far along....I didn't feel like I DESERVED to be a mom.

I guess it wasn't until I had my DS that I truly felt like a mother...and I still question it at times

Just wanted to add that I think mom is a pretty universal term that can be used in SO many ways. There are many different kinds of moms. Being called a mom when you are in one situation doesn't validate or invalidate someone called mom in a completely different situation.

i said no, but i misunderstood the question when i voted.

This is a hard one for me. I do believe if a woman has ever given birth, then yes she is a mother(reguardless if the child is still with us or not). The love is still there.

I'm not sure how I feel about a woman who has had a miscarriage. My first pregnancy resulted as a miscarriage, and I didn't view myself as a mother then. It wasnt until I had my first born I felt I was a mother.

Now if a woman had an abortion, I believe she has no right to consider her self a mother, she willingly gave up that title.

And on a different side of things, there are woman who give birth to perfectly healthy babies, but do nothing to care for them, neglect, abuse, etc. I do not consider them mothers, because a real mother has more love and compassion for her offspring.

I guess it all depends on the individual situation.

to me when u see that + you are a mom. even if something god forbid happens you have that emotional attachment to that little one you are its mom. just what i think though:dunno

I put other because I feel if you've miscarried you are not a mom. If you have given birth to a live baby then yes you are a mom. If you give birth to a stillborn then it's kind of a grey area to me.
I feel to be a mom you have to have interacted, tought, feed, clothed, housed, cared for, and met the needs of a child to be a mom. A mom is so many things. You can be a mother, you can be a step mother, you can be a serogate mother, but it takes a lot to be a mom or mommy. I truely feel the title mom has to be earned. I know it sounds cruel but just carrying a baby inside of you and taking care of it while it's there doesn't earn you the title of mom.
With all that said, I feel for those who have lost their child. I have been through a miscarriage. I've held many hands through too many DNC's. I know it has an emotional cost that may never stop hurting. You are entitled to your pain. But to me, you still aren't mom.

I also need to add... you can adopt and be mom as long as you've earned it. But you can also adopt and not earn the title of mom.

well, I put yes, but I am on the fence. I agree that through a pregnancy you care for them and plan to raise them, which is a responsibility of a parent. Also, when you lose them, you feel that grief so deep because that connection and love is there.

However, I miscarried at 16 weeks and I would NEVER consider myself a mom. DH even asked me ones if I would like to get a mothers day card and I told him no way.

But I do have an angel, and its different then a child. I still think about how old my child would be and what they would be doing had they lived. I saw my childs hb and I will never forget the connection I shared so early on.

I miscarried twice, one I knew about before and the other I didn't know till I was bleeding. I consider them moms, definitely. I, however, didn't FEEL like a mom till DD was born KWIM??

Yep I sure do think they are moms!

Yes they are moms. Life starts the day of conception. The baby's Heart starts to beat at 18 days after conception. that is a child and you are a mom from day one of conception.

yes, you are still a mom. you become a mom from the moment of conception.

I chose Other. I think its an individual thought. I gave birth to a child I surrendered for adoption. So I definitely didn't feel like a mom then! In fact, I dreaded people calling me a mom or a birthmom because I felt so horrid about myself.

When my ex and I suffered the first miscarriage and then the second both so far along....I didn't feel like I DESERVED to be a mom.

I guess it wasn't until I had my DS that I truly felt like a mother...and I still question it at times

Im sorry :hugs That is so sad.

yep like i said in the other thread i believe you are a mom from the time you get that positive

:agree

I chose other ONLY because being a mother a true mother takes more than just having a child, loosing a child, or heck even raising a child. This is a hard question to answer being as though I don't believe ALL parents are mothers and father KWIM?:dunno