harrisonsdream
11-06-2007, 11:19 AM
FAMILIES TODAY
Child who bites poses pressing problem for perplexed parent
By DR. T. BERRY BRAZELTON and DR. JOSHUA SPARROW
New York Times
Q: My 2 1/2 -year-old daughter started biting about a year ago and, unfortunately, has been going strong since then and is very good at it.
Ninety-nine percent of the biting occurs at day care. When I pick her up, I am not sure how to respond after having to sign the incident reports when she bites. Although they aren't allowed to tell me who she bites (my daughter tells me), it is different children. There doesn't seem to be consistency, and she is not constantly going after the same child.
Also, the time of day she bites is not consistent, either.
I don't know what to do. I would appreciate any kind of help/advice you can give me.
Via e-mail
A: Biting is one of the most common developmental behaviors for many children in the second year, at the time you say your daughter started biting.
Biting serves many purposes for a toddler. In the beginning, it is a way of trying to interact with other children or to get their attention or to let off frustration. It is important not to overreact, and simply say in a disapproving but calm voice, "No, you can't do that. It hurts." Then walk away.
This is the biggest punishment of all — not getting a reaction. If, on the other hand, everyone reacts as if it were an emergency, it is likelier to become a more fixed behavior. Everyone becomes frightened of a "biter."
Other parents don't want their children to play with a biter. Frustration mounts, and biting all too quickly becomes the way a toddler reacts to any kind of buildup of tension. It becomes a vicious cycle of failure for the small child.
One way to prevent the biting is to watch her pattern of buildup so that one can learn to recognize the warning signs and anticipate the biting in time to divert her to another pattern. Then, you could congratulate her for holding back. Ask her, "Can you say something that would help you to keep from biting?"
Child who bites poses pressing problem for perplexed parent
By DR. T. BERRY BRAZELTON and DR. JOSHUA SPARROW
New York Times
Q: My 2 1/2 -year-old daughter started biting about a year ago and, unfortunately, has been going strong since then and is very good at it.
Ninety-nine percent of the biting occurs at day care. When I pick her up, I am not sure how to respond after having to sign the incident reports when she bites. Although they aren't allowed to tell me who she bites (my daughter tells me), it is different children. There doesn't seem to be consistency, and she is not constantly going after the same child.
Also, the time of day she bites is not consistent, either.
I don't know what to do. I would appreciate any kind of help/advice you can give me.
Via e-mail
A: Biting is one of the most common developmental behaviors for many children in the second year, at the time you say your daughter started biting.
Biting serves many purposes for a toddler. In the beginning, it is a way of trying to interact with other children or to get their attention or to let off frustration. It is important not to overreact, and simply say in a disapproving but calm voice, "No, you can't do that. It hurts." Then walk away.
This is the biggest punishment of all — not getting a reaction. If, on the other hand, everyone reacts as if it were an emergency, it is likelier to become a more fixed behavior. Everyone becomes frightened of a "biter."
Other parents don't want their children to play with a biter. Frustration mounts, and biting all too quickly becomes the way a toddler reacts to any kind of buildup of tension. It becomes a vicious cycle of failure for the small child.
One way to prevent the biting is to watch her pattern of buildup so that one can learn to recognize the warning signs and anticipate the biting in time to divert her to another pattern. Then, you could congratulate her for holding back. Ask her, "Can you say something that would help you to keep from biting?"