He has finally decided to join the navy. We have been together a year and spend all our free time together. So I don't know how I'll be able to handle this. We're planning on getting married when he is out of A-school. But I'm terrified something will happen and we won't have the time. He is really excited about it so I don't want to worry him, but I would really like to know what is really like in the navy. I don't know anyone who has personal experience in it. :dunno Is there a going to be time for us? or time for his school? Thanks to anyone that can help!!!

You make time for "us" and for the most part you have a normal life (as much as military life can be normal)...its the times that you can not be together that makes it hard - of those, some are short some are long.

He has finally decided to join the navy. We have been together a year and spend all our free time together. So I don't know how I'll be able to handle this. We're planning on getting married when he is out of A-school. But I'm terrified something will happen and we won't have the time. He is really excited about it so I don't want to worry him, but I would really like to know what is really like in the navy. I don't know anyone who has personal experience in it. :dunno Is there a going to be time for us? or time for his school? Thanks to anyone that can help!!!
Sounds like you are going through the same thing I did girlie. My DB and me were together for a year before he left last August. I worried I couldn't handle it too, but in the end, if he loves you, and if you love him, and if you believe this is what you want, it will happen.

Sadly, this is the military. Yes, you will be away from him for long and/or short periods of time. Yes, it will be hard. Yes, you will be brought to your breaking point. But in the end, it is worth it to see him again, and get that "first time kiss" you have been awaiting for so long. Yes, you will have "us" time, but it will be worked AROUND the military. A lot of freedom in a relationship is lost when the military becomes involved, but you learn to cope. the military always will come first, no matter what. You may be first in his heart, but the military is first in his life. Make the BEST of the time you have with him, and create amazing memories for your future, and it gives you something to hold on to and reflect on later when you are alone. It will get better! I promise. Plus, you've got all of us on here to help ya through it. PM me anytime if you want to talk!:hugs

:agree both of these girls said it all .... . good luck and make the memories!

It depends on his A-school too. You probably won't be able to go with him when he goes through that (depending on how long the school is) but that just gets you prepared for deployments. As for time, when he's fresh out of A-school it's a little different from "real" Navy. He'll be going to his first command and learning to settle in and really learn his job (most learning happens at the command level not in A-school). So he might not have as much time for you as you'd like, but that's no different from him starting a new job anywhere else.

He'll probably have to stand a watch at least once every couple of weeks, but that can be night, evening, or daytime so it might not affect you at all.

You will get used to being flexible. Some commands are better than others about the "family first" policy. Some think that wives don't come in the seabag so they're not important. Others, and I've been lucky to be at some good ones, consider the families to be as important as the mission.

The best advice I can give you is to network with other wives in your area (and hang out on here!) You may hear us vent about the Navy, but most of us wouldn't change what our spouses do.

Hang in there! It's a steep learning curve for you too!

You make time for "us" and for the most part you have a normal life (as much as military life can be normal)...its the times that you can not be together that makes it hard - of those, some are short some are long.

I'm Army, not Navy so I can't give you too much advice from that end. But she said it best, you make do with what you have and try to keep things as normal as possible. With DB being in the Army, it's made me value the time we have together so much more than before he enlisted.

We're always here for you! :hugs Welcome to SOS!