Hey girls. I had a terrible night last night. My boyfriend is still in basic but he's been sneaking phone calls from his friends cell phone to me almost every night, and even though I'm afraid he's going to get caught and get in so much trouble, I can't complain. I love it when we talk for 2 hours a night :). Anyway, last night we talked for over 2 hours about everything. We just kept saying cute little things like I miss you, I love you, ect. We also talked about marriage more and what we're going to do when he comes home. All in all, it was an amazing conversation. I got to bed feeling really confident and happy. I then get a text message from him about ten minutes later asking me who this guy was. I was confused so I called him and he told me that the cell phone he's on has internet access, so he went on his facebook to see my facebook and write on my wall to surprise me. He looked at the new photos I added (well not very new they were taken in October) and there was one picture of me and this guy I met here in my college just posing for a picture. I'm not going to lie, it wasn't a good pose but we weren't touching eachother at all. The only thing bad about the picture was that I had a vodka bottle in my mouth and I was SITTING right next to the guy. Nothing happened between me and this guy at all, he was just one of my other guy friend's friend and I was pretty much with my girls all night. It was just that one picture and that one stupid pose I did. He was sooo sad! He was very disappointed that I was out drinking with guys and stuff and he's a very jealous boyfriend. But the thing is, I did nothing to hurt him! Yes I did go out drinking, but I'm in college. In his mind he believes that when I get drunk I get lonely so I'm going to try to get with other guys, but that's not the case at all. I don't want any other guys but my bf. So he was very upset all night and I didn't sleep at all! He ended up hanging up on me and turning off the phone. I was so thankful that he called me this morning and we talked about it and I explained how sorry I was because I know it was a stupid pose and I know I shouldn't have posted it and I understand why he would be so upset because he didn't know the guy. I mean if he did that with another girl that I didn't know I'd be upset too. So everything is "ok" now, but he told me he doesn't trust me at all anymore. I don't think he even wants me to hang out with guys until he comes back. I think this is a little harsh because I really didn't do anything. He told me in a text that it feels like I cheated on him, and that makes me so sad because it was a stupid picture! Ahh I'm sorry. I just need some advice or something. I don't know what to do. I'm madly in love with this man and we were even getting engaged over Christmas break! Now he's doubting that all because of a picture. Is it because he's confined with a bunch of men and he's just so lonely that he wants me to be confined in my dorm all the time? I need help! :help

Put the shoe on the other foot. How would YOU feel if you saw a pic of him and another girl, out drinking? Would you flip? *I* personally would. But, im a jealous person. So, I don't do things that would piss me off to my SO. Don't beat yourself up though, just assess the situation and try to rectify it. Hes just worried your going to leave him. Im sure hes heard stories in boot, thats a given.

:hugs I personally, would try to figure out what was more important. Going out drinking with dudes, or my BF thats away at boot camp.

I am going to have to say that I dont blame him. I know my husband doesnt expect me to sit around but I also know he doesnt want me out partying and drinking vodka out of a bottle.(I wouldnt do it either way) You have to understand that he is away from hom and he doesnt know everything and that makes everything ten times worse. Avoid anything that you think will make him upset or if you think he is to controlling or what ever I would say you need to re think your relationship with him

Why'd ya post the pic in the first place? :no
And of course he doesn't want to think that you are out having fun while "he's stuck in boot camp". But it does sound a bit harsh if you explained nothing happened and he hung up on you. How long have you two been dating before he left for BC? Sounds like a very young relationship and there is some maturing needed on both sides.
I wouldn't worry too much about it.....but I would worry more about him being caught on the phone. Being set back in BC means he'll be away from you longer. I know when my DH was a DI he was a badass, strict MF and he would enforce all regs harshly. If I were you I'd tell him to stop calling.....

The whole picture mess aside for a minute... A cell phone in Basic? Him calling you almost every night and talking to you for hours? That makes no sense at all. When you get to boot they send EVERYTHING home.. so unless his friend had the phone in his butt it would have been sent home... and IF he did manage to get it snuck i there, how would they keep it charged without anyone seeing it? It's almost impossible for him to be able to talk every night, especially for hours without getting busted. There is something not right with that whole scenerio.

Why'd ya post the pic in the first place? :no
And of course he doesn't want to think that you are out having fun while "he's stuck in boot camp". But it does sound a bit harsh if you explained nothing happened and he hung up on you. How long have you two been dating before he left for BC? Sounds like a very young relationship and there is some maturing needed on both sides.
I wouldn't worry too much about it.....but I would worry more about him being caught on the phone. Being set back in BC means he'll be away from you longer. I know when my DH was a DI he was a badass, strict MF and he would enforce all regs harshly. If I were you I'd tell him to stop calling.....

:agree.... iknow its hard not talking to him(i only talked to my dh like 2 times) but if he gets caught.......thats lots of trouble he is asking for. about the other situation....i think that both of you should have a nice long talk about those issues, i mean its not like you cheated on him or anything, you just went out with some friends.

The whole picture mess aside for a minute... A cell phone in Basic? Him calling you almost every night and talking to you for hours? That makes no sense at all. When you get to boot they send EVERYTHING home.. so unless his friend had the phone in his butt it would have been sent home... and IF he did manage to get it snuck i there, how would they keep it charged without anyone seeing it? It's almost impossible for him to be able to talk every night, especially for hours without getting busted. There is something not right with that whole scenerio.

I was wondering when someone was going to bring that up. Something just seems really really strange.

I was wondering when someone was going to bring that up. Something just seems really really strange.



I was shocked that wasn't the FIRST thing mentioned honestly.. it makes no sense at all...

I was shocked that wasn't the FIRST thing mentioned honestly.. it makes no sense at all...

I think people were tip-toeing around it. By the time I got to the bottom of the replies you had just posted yours saving me the trouble lol Maybe I'm off but it sounds like someone is full of it.

I was shocked that wasn't the FIRST thing mentioned honestly.. it makes no sense at all...

Supposedly the army is allowing some cell use. I know some ladies had mentioned it on here. However I agree that this all seems a tad suspicious. Because there is no way he can be calling every night and talking for hours on end when I know that at boot they do all kinds of watches and things like that at night. So i don't know..

Supposedly the army is allowing some cell use. I know some ladies had mentioned it on here. However I agree that this all seems a tad suspicious. Because there is no way he can be calling every night and talking for hours on end when I know that at boot they do all kinds of watches and things like that at night. So i don't know..

I thought it was just AIT that they could have phones now...didn't realize it was boot camp too. Regardless of if they are allowed to have them or not I find it odd that he would be able to spend hours on the phone with her at night and that the friend would let his phone be tied up all that time. Weird lol

he's being a little unreasonable but you have to be sooo careful with these military men!!! take the picture down, and keep reassuring him that you aren't going to be cheating on him. Personally i don't understand the bit about you not drinking or going out because he's in boot camp, maybe just a little more low key.. They hear alot of stories, and most of them go like this "my girlfriend got drunk at a party and hooked up with another guy and then we broke up" so even though you're in college you've gotta be above any kind of question, you have to be so innocent that no one ever even thinks for a second that you would be cheating. i say you can still go out, but you gotta class it up girl! :hugs i hope he can forgive and forget real soon!

I thought it was just AIT that they could have phones now...didn't realize it was boot camp too. Regardless of if they are allowed to have them or not I find it odd that he would be able to spend hours on the phone with her at night and that the friend would let his phone be tied up all that time. Weird lol
these I don't know if i am coming or going. :dunno :teehee so I could be wrong. I like the Navy you know that it's BS because the Navy bootcamp sends EVERYTHING back even your underwear. :lol

OK well this video just made me lose a lot of respect for the new army.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5jRawaB1tY&feature=related

I'm sure there are still restrictions though.

I was shocked that wasn't the FIRST thing mentioned honestly.. it makes no sense at all...

Actually, they don't send your stuff home in Army BCT.
They lock it up in a closet.

I don't know about that video, but uh...DH didn't have any of that. :lol
It's All you can eat IN THREE MINUTES.
Cell phones are handed back TEN MINUTES per WEEKEND. IF they decide you deserve a phonecall.
Etc.

I thought it was just AIT that they could have phones now...didn't realize it was boot camp too. Regardless of if they are allowed to have them or not I find it odd that he would be able to spend hours on the phone with her at night and that the friend would let his phone be tied up all that time. Weird lol

yes-my friend was able to have his at boot, but was only given to him on days he could use it....like one sunday a month.....i am with you though,with all they do -even at night-how would he be able to talk that much?:thinkin

OK well this video just made me lose a lot of respect for the new army.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5jRawaB1tY&feature=related

I'm sure there are still restrictions though.

wow- I just watched that and i dont know about other places, but it is definitely not like that at ft.benning where dh just was. that video made me laugh. for him, it wasnt all you can eat, or talk on the phone or no yelling.It was definitely not 8 hours of sleep. he said he was lucky to get 4!

Actually, they don't send your stuff home in Army BCT.
They lock it up in a closet.

I don't know about that video, but uh...DH didn't have any of that. :lol
It's All you can eat IN THREE MINUTES.
Cell phones are handed back TEN MINUTES per WEEKEND. IF they decide you deserve a phonecall.
Etc.


That makes a little more sense. I can't imagine they'd be allowed free use of it.

how interesting...I cant wait for a reply. I never thought about it becuase I never went through boot with DH and it didnt really cross my mind

I'm sure to you it doesn't seem like you were in the wrong to live like the average college student, drinking and having fun. but your boy is going through a tough time right now, and i'm sure what he is thinking is if he can't see you and go out with you, well then why should some other guy be able to? it's a tough call, i feel ya on that, my boyfriend is at bootcamp too and before he left we argued about things similar to that (although I made the decision not to drink while he is gone). as silly as it sounds because you didn't really do anything wrong, for your boyfriend's sake, i'd recommend thinking of his feelings over simple things like that... it depends on couple to couple, but i know that my commiment to my DB while he has been gone has made our relationship soo much stronger. PM me if you ever wanna talk! :hug

My DH is in basic at Ft. Jackson and I have gotten one call from his cell phone because they were having a day on the weekend where everyone was buying there plane tickets for exodus and so the phones were overloaded. DH got to call me ask if I wanted to buy it myself or for him to, and after that question there was someone in background who yelled times up and it have been like a minute and 30 seconds.
As for the "softer" bootcamp DH did bootcamp before at Ft. Benning 5 years ago(way discharged a couple weeks before graduation because he broke his band and part of his back) and he said that it's easy at Ft. Jackson but he still doesn't sleep a lot and for the most part its decently the same.

About the post, I do think its a tad weird tho that he would be able to sneak a 2 hour call nightly cause well I can't see you being able to charge the phone.

yea, smells kinda fishy to me....cell phone in boot camp....is he towards the end...
cause they do a whole of everything, and not a whole lot sleeping...cant imagine there would that much time for him....he will get caught and it would be a whole lot harder...
but if the shoe were on the other fooot, you would be furious, take the pic off...write him a letter and apologize...if he is the one dont go out drinking with the guys...drinking leads to other things...he is busting his ass out there...someone constantly on his ass...he is doing something for the both of you...

OK well this video just made me lose a lot of respect for the new army.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5jRawaB1tY&feature=related

I'm sure there are still restrictions though.

Well, my DH is getting yelled and screamed at... And while they get to eat a lot, he's told me there's no bread, no fried foods, and something else, but I forgot. Something "normal" people eat all the time outside of junk food. :) Also, he was told absolutely NO cell phones. His is home with me and I use it now. For 2 weekends in a row, he hasn't been allowed to make a personal call. He made 2 calls this week, but both were quick and professional and all about setting up his plane ticket for Christmas Exodus. That video didn't sound like ANYTHING my DH is going through.

I think everyone is right about the whole "story" thing in BCT. I just have this 'feeling' that DH is starting to worry that I'll leave him or something. I will admit that I made the mistake of asking if he thought our marriage could stand this separation. Okay, that was stupid, but that was a point I wanted to clear up before he signed up. We both agreed it could and he signed up. After he left, I found out that there is absolutely no one else in the world more important to me than him. I go out with friends sometimes, but they're all girlfriends with kids who homeschool like I do. Talk about BORING people! LOL I love them to death. I also made the decision to give ALL of the hard liquor in our house to our neighbors the day before DH left. I figured I didn't need that while he was gone. I do have a male friend, but I made sure to not talk to him much before DH left and I haven't had a single urge to talk to him at all since he has left. It just doesn't feel right, you know?

What doesn't help is that the Army has pulled them down to mail call once or twice a week. He's just now starting to get all the letters I've mailed him. For an entire week, I was reading in his letters, "I haven't gotten any letters yet..." As if I hadn't written him! By the time I was "allowed" to send them, I'd already written something like 13 of them! LOL

I just can't wait for Christmas Exodus. I already know the dates, just not the times. I want my honey home with me so that I can soothe him and let him know that there's NO way I'll ever leave him. That I love him and support him still. Thank goodness there's this break in his BCT! I think we both need it to get through this.

Thank you to everyone who actually gave me some advice, I really appreciate it! I'm definitely not taking any more stupid pictures with random guys and I'm not going to drink until he comes home so he can drink with me :). You guys were a big help. And yes, he is in the end of his BCT, he graduates in 4 days. And I don't know how he has the cell phone, but he told me that there are atleast 6 guys in his unit alone who have snuck their cells because they are just locked up in a locker and are easy to get out. So it's possible. Thanks again for all of you who helped out!

although ass hat and i are done, he is in boot right now (he will be home on the 15th) he never gets to use a phone, they do get yelled at, and they eat whatever they are given in the time limit given, soooo i dunno what kinda boot your guys is at, but be happy you get to talk to yours and if he is worth a shit and if he does love you, he will get over it all eventually. Being there, it makes the guys very sensitive to any and everything back home. It makes think about a lot of shit and it worries them...everything happens for a reason and what is meant to be will be...good luck!

The whole picture mess aside for a minute... A cell phone in Basic? Him calling you almost every night and talking to you for hours? That makes no sense at all. When you get to boot they send EVERYTHING home.. so unless his friend had the phone in his butt it would have been sent home... and IF he did manage to get it snuck i there, how would they keep it charged without anyone seeing it? It's almost impossible for him to be able to talk every night, especially for hours without getting busted. There is something not right with that whole scenerio.

They DONT allow Cellphones at Basic. DB wasn't allowed to get his cellphone until AFTER family weekend wich was right before AIT. And DB is Army also and just got out of basic about 3 months ago. So I agree with you Caimbrie this doesn't make sense to me at all. DB went to Fort Knox for Basic and AIT. So what I dont get is how can that other guy get a cellphone by them when they do the check? DB said that all the guys were stripped naked and all their stuff was thrown on the ground and went threw. Im confizzled about this OP right now. :shrug

They also arent allowed to make personal calls. DB got to make about 2-3 threw his whole time in basic. The only time they got to make a call during basic was if they were good and got some time to themselves then they could use a payphone (wich is rare). But that was the extent of it when he was in Basic. In AIT though I would get a call from him almost every weekend. The calls were only about 10-15 min long. Just "Hi babe, Im fine... How are you and your family?" kinds of things.

Hm, very odd. I know they are allowing more Cell Phone use, but it still sounds fishy....I would ask him about it...

They DONT allow Cellphones at Basic. DB wasn't allowed to get his cellphone until AFTER family weekend wich was right before AIT. And DB is Army also and just got out of basic about 3 months ago. So I agree with you Caimbrie this doesn't make sense to me at all. DB went to Fort Knox for Basic and AIT. So what I dont get is how can that other guy get a cellphone by them when they do the check? DB said that all the guys were stripped naked and all their stuff was thrown on the ground and went threw. Im confizzled about this OP right now. :shrug

They also arent allowed to make personal calls. DB got to make about 2-3 threw his whole time in basic. The only time they got to make a call during basic was if they were good and got some time to themselves then they could use a payphone (wich is rare). But that was the extent of it when he was in Basic. In AIT though I would get a call from him almost every weekend. The calls were only about 10-15 min long. Just "Hi babe, Im fine... How are you and your family?" kinds of things.

Depends on the base. I'm not going to quote myself or repeat the whole thing, but they DID get phones at Ft. Leonard Wood for ten minutes on weekends, to alleviate the long payphone lines. I also know someone who went through Jackson and they had phones more often. :shrug

Depends on the base. I'm not going to quote myself or repeat the whole thing, but they DID get phones at Ft. Leonard Wood for ten minutes on weekends, to alleviate the long payphone lines. I also know someone who went through Jackson and they had phones more often. :shrug

Grr why couldnt DB go there then.. GRRR then I would have talked to him more when he was in basic.. darn you fort knox. Guess Knox is alot more stricter or something :shrug :teehee

The whole picture mess aside for a minute... A cell phone in Basic? Him calling you almost every night and talking to you for hours? That makes no sense at all. When you get to boot they send EVERYTHING home.. so unless his friend had the phone in his butt it would have been sent home... and IF he did manage to get it snuck i there, how would they keep it charged without anyone seeing it? It's almost impossible for him to be able to talk every night, especially for hours without getting busted. There is something not right with that whole scenerio.

my husband left for BCT Nov 19th and talked to me everyday for about 15-20 min on a cell...BUT- he was in reception still....i guess thats why..but his friend snuck the cell & let him use it...i told him to stop so he wouldn't get in trouble...but he did for a week....til he went to the real boot camp....

Grr why couldnt DB go there then.. GRRR then I would have talked to him more when he was in basic.. darn you fort knox. Guess Knox is alot more stricter or something :shrug :teehee

Nah. Ft. Leonard Wood is one of two bases that does BCT for both males and females(they train together). The cycles are a LOT bigger than at other places. The phone lines would be so long that more than half would never get to use the phone otherwise.

I couldn't believe it when I just watched that video. That is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever seen. To be honest it pissed me off it makes the woman and men of the US army look like BCT is easy for them. Ill tell you something Number one my husband just got out of basic 3 months ago and You cannot under any circumstances have a cell phone in basic training and if for any reason they did they would get caught and there is no possible way for them to charge the cell phone every night. It's defiantly a sticky situation. Basic training for the army has defiantly not gotten any easier i got letters from my dh all the time describing the types of things they go through. He was at fort jackson and they only get 4 hours of sleep and have like 2 minutes to eat. Also as far as the whole picture thing you've really got to learn that you other half is over there training to fight for our freedom and I no when my husband was in bct I was also a college student but I stayed home and focused on school, and work and hung out with my friends occasionally but didn't go out partying. Me personally I think he has every reason to be upset you've really gotta put your relationship at top of your priority list it involves a lot of sacrifice but the last thing you need is to not have trust in a relationship especially in the military. You two should both talk and make boundaries things that are exceptable and are not exceptable and you need to stick by them. Sorry if im coming off as rude but Thats the honest truth. Good Luck!

The only time I received a call from my son in Army basic was a minute or 2 on Sundays then he called his wife but every night? Heck no that wouldnt happen And as for Marine boot? I never got a call until Christmas night around 11 for literally 30 seconds I thanked God for that But the Army does allow some cell use depends on the SGT and the Base but I cant see everynight for hours????