Sperm donor forced to pay child support after lesbian couple split (http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/families/article2994783.ece)

A man who donated sperm to a lesbian couple is being made to pay child support, despite having no involvement in the children’s lives.

Andy Bathie, 37, a firefighter from Enfield, North London, provided the sperm after being assured by Sharon and Terri Arnold that he would have no personal or financial involvement with the children. But now he is being forced to pay thousands of pounds in maintenance by the Child Support Agency, although he has no legal rights over the boy and girl, aged 2 and 4, born to the couple, who have now split up.

Mr Bathie said that he could not afford to have children with his own wife because of the financial implications. He is attempting to have the law changed so that he is not recognised as a legal parent to the children. “I did look into the legal side and understood that, as a couple, they would be the parents, not me. I was never ‘daddy’,” he told the Evening Standard in London. “The CSA admit that mine is an unusual case. This is double standards and I’m having money stolen by the Government.”

Mr Bathie was approached by the couple five years ago after they entered a civil partnership. At the time he was in a relationship with a woman who had been sterilised and was not planning to have children. He has since married someone else.

Unaware of the legal pitfalls, he was shocked when the Child Support Agency contacted him last November to demand payments because the women had split up. He was made to take a £400 paternity test and his pay was docked.

A spokesman for the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority said that men who donated sperm through licensed fertility clinics were not the legal fathers of any children born as a result. “Men giving out their sperm in any other way, such as via internet arrangements, are legally the father of any children born, with all the responsibilities that carries,” he added.

The CSA said that, unless a child was legally adopted, both biological parents were financially responsible. “The Child Support Agency legislation is not gender or partnership based,” a spokesman said. “Only anonymous sperm donors at licensed centres are exempt from being treated as the legal father. This does not apply to men who donate sperm as part of a personal arrangement.”

Ministers have drawn up fertility reforms giving equal parenting rights to same-sex couples who “marry” in a civil partnership. This means they will be recognised as the legal parents of children conceived through sperm donation. However, the change comes too late for Mr Bathie, although he is now pushing for an amendment to make the laws retrospective.

Phil Willis, MP for Harrogate and Knaresborough, is chairman of the Innovation, Universities and Skills Select Committee, which deals with human fertilisation and research. He said: “The CSA has to look very carefully at the issue and make an assessment. I suspect Mr Bathie won’t get his money back, as there would be a flood of similar applications. Hopefully, common sense will prevail, particularly if he has evidence saying he was a donor and there was an agreement he’d have no further relationship.”

Wow. That doesn't exactly seem fair.

that is just wrong and sad. there is no reason he should have to pay child support.

thats really dumb, like unbelievable dumb.....

That is outrageous!! I can't believe some idiotic judge actually facillitated that!!

oh then I reread part and it was in London. No idea how the law works there, but thank God it didn't happen in the US.

That is ridiculous. I don't get why he should be responsible for those children. He was just trying to be a nice guy and help people out and gets shit on. How nice. :sarcasm

Do we not have ENOUGH trouble with PARENTS who dont pay child support already??? Goodness, he was a sperm donor. That is DIFFERENT.

That is outrageous!! I can't believe some idiotic judge actually facillitated that!!

oh then I reread part and it was in London. No idea how the law works there, but thank God it didn't happen in the US.

The law stands that unless the child is legally adopted by the partner, the biological parents are financially responsible for the child. The govt's looking to make amendments for same-sex couples but I have no idea of when that will happen.

Wow, this is wrong on so many different levels. I don't even know where to begin!

The law stands that unless the child is legally adopted by the partner, the biological parents are financially responsible for the child. The govt's looking to make amendments for same-sex couples but I have no idea of when that will happen.

That would have been a good law except in cases of sperm or egg donation like this. Hopefully the change will be retroactive. I'm disgusted with the character of the woman in this case though.

That poor guy, I hope he will be able to change the law

The law stands that unless the child is legally adopted by the partner, the biological parents are financially responsible for the child. The govt's looking to make amendments for same-sex couples but I have no idea of when that will happen.

That would be great except that he was a sperm donor. It's not like he is some low life dad who got the woman pregnant and then just decided to split. I think it's horrible that this guy tried to do something nice for a couple who wanted a baby and has gotten so royally screwed in the process.

omg that story is messed up..

That would have been a good law except in cases of sperm or egg donation like this. Hopefully the change will be retroactive. I'm disgusted with the character of the woman in this case though.

I agree. I feel heartily sorry for the children, as one of their parents has denied responsibilty for them just to get out of paying up. :no

That is just wrong.

I hope they get that changed soon.

That is Ridiculous!

That is not fair at all.

and what about the other half of the parents? what she gets to skirt off scott free?

What??? You have got to be kidding me.

and what about the other half of the parents? what she gets to skirt off scott free?

Pretty much. She could've agreed to pay childcare but she chose to let the courts handle it.

Pretty much. She could've agreed to pay childcare but she chose to let the courts handle it.

that is just wrong. :sigh poor kids

Wow, that really is completely unfair.

Wow that is just....horrible. :no

This is what gets me:

after being assured by Sharon and Terri Arnold that he would have no personal or financial involvement with the children.

Poor kid :sadeyes

And this is why homosexual couples shouldn't be raising kids...

And this is why homosexual couples shouldn't be raising kids...

I'm not wanting to debate, but just play "devil's advocate" here...

Who's to say a heterosexual couple wouldn't do the same thing?

Heterosexual couple can't have their own children, decides on sperm donor in order to conceive, has child, they divorce, the man bails out, mom demands $$ from sperm donor. How is it different? :puzz

That is really horrible. I think the law should be changed immediately!

It is horrible that the parents would do this to the guy that helped them have children :no

And this is why homosexual couples shouldn't be raising kids...

I hardly see this as an exclusively homosexual issue.

I'm not wanting to debate, but just play "devil's advocate" here...

Who's to say a heterosexual couple wouldn't do the same thing?

Heterosexual couple can't have their own children, decides on sperm donor in order to conceive, has child, they divorce, the man bails out, mom demands $$ from sperm donor. How is it different? :puzz

I agree. Even without factoring in a sperm donor, how many heterosexual couples have had disputes pertaining to child support? How many heterosexual partners have tried to get out of paying child support? It's not just a homosexual thing.

Wow. That is just awful. I feel for the poor guy. Both the woman involved here seem to be real pieces of work.

And this is why homosexual couples shouldn't be raising kids...

I completly disagree. I do think that the government need to stop acting like it doesn't happen and make laws to make both partners liable.

Wow that is a shitty thing to do to the guy.

And this is why homosexual couples shouldn't be raising kids...

Right, because same sex couples are the ONLY ones who would ever do that. :rolleyes Give me a break.

And this is why homosexual couples shouldn't be raising kids...

this has nothing to do with sexual orientation it has to do with people be buttholes. Those 2 woman should be ashamed of themselves. That man did them a favor and they shit on him. That is horrible. I hope he fights it tooth and nail.

I completly disagree. I do think that the government need to stop acting like it doesn't happen and make laws to make both partners liable.

I agree.

And I'm sorry, I know the guy was trying to do something noble by helping a couple have a family, but why on earth would he give his SPERM to a woman to MAKE A BABY without protecting himself legally? Its a big deal, a big decision, he shouldn't have given his sperm away without giving it careful consideration.

Women who use sperm from licensed sperm banks have to sign papers acknowledging the donors will NEVER have any parental/financial responsibility. That way the donors are protected from situations like this.

I found another article which sheds a little more light on the situation:

Sperm donor in baby row with lesbian couple (http://afp.google.com/article/ALeqM5jBAgMuNbu1j9z2Agoml_LO5eCG-w)

LONDON (AFP) — A man who donated sperm to allow a lesbian couple to have a baby was criticised Tuesday after claiming he is being unfairly forced to pay for the child.

In a case fuelling ethical debate in Britain, Andy Bathie, 37, says he was given guarantees by Sharon and Terri Arnold that he would have no emotional or financial responsibility for the baby conceived from his donation.

He claimed Monday the government's Child Support Agency (CSA) was demanding he pay thousands of pounds after the lesbian couple split up, saying the financial strain means he cannot start a family with his wife.

Terri Arnold said that, although originally he had no responsibility, Bathie had changed his mind and had become involved in the child's upbringing.

"What people don't understand is that they have only heard one side of the story. He was a father to the children, a dad. He played a father's role for two years of their, well, my daughter's life," she told GMTV.

She confirmed that the couple approached Bathie five years ago after they "married" in a civil ceremony, and admitted that initially the accord was for him to simply be a sperm donor.

"I will openly admit to that, but it was him that changed his mind. He wanted to be involved, he wanted to be a dad," she added, saying that he had looked after the girl one weekend every month.

At the heart of the dispute is the fact that, under British law, only men who donate sperm anonymously through licensed fertility clinics are not considered the legal father of any resulting child.

"Men giving out their sperm in any other way... are legally the father of any children born with all the responsibilities that carries," said a spokesman for Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA).

In Bathie's case, the donation was a private arrangement.

Bathie said Monday: "I don't have any particular ill will. It's the fact that I still even now don't see why I should have to pay for another couple's children."

I still think it's a disgrace that the former couple don't want to take full responsibility for the children they raised. I just figured it'd be good to show their side of the story.

It still sounds not fair because the two women were the parents, not him. He may have been there but not on the full time basis of a parent.

It still sounds not fair because the two women were the parents, not him. He may have been there but not on the full time basis of a parent.

Absolutely unfair, I have no idea how this guy even got involved, the women should be working on their custody/child support issues themselves. Where's the deadbeat mom in all of this? I guess when one of the mom's involved the courts, they asked who was the biological dad?

I guess he can sue for custody now, as well. I hope he does if he was such a "father" to the child. I doubt his relationship really was like that of a father, more like an extended relative like an uncle or something.

Kinda not fair to the guy. Sad situation!

that is ridicoulus just goes to show you need to have a contract for everything

Wow, talk about complicated! I agree that the women shouldn't have brought him into it at all. THEY are the parents, THEY sought him out, THEY should be dealing with this without dragging him into it.

Why does it seem like government, no matter WHAT country, always seems to have difficulty making laws that actually reflect societal changes? It's not like this whole same sex couples having children thing is a new development, and it's ESPECIALLY not a new development that people do private sperm donations. It makes me kinda sad to think that this kind of stuff wasn't thought about before someone had to get completely screwed in the process.

And this is why homosexual couples shouldn't be raising kids...

:rofl Did you seriously just say that? WOW! That is certainly a gem right there. Government inefficiency is a stellar reason for people to be denied basic human rights. :lmao

That's so horrible for the guy!!! Those women should be ashamed of themselves. How horrible!!!

And this is why homosexual couples shouldn't be raising kids...

That has to be the most ignorant, narrowminded thing I've heard in a LONG time. :duh

Right, because same sex couples are the ONLY ones who would ever do that. :rolleyes Give me a break.

No joke.... how about the THOUSANDS of deadbeat dads who are STRAIGHT?? How often do you hear about shit like this with gay couples? :thinking (I'm pretty sure this is the first time I have...)


:rofl Did you seriously just say that? WOW! That is certainly a gem right there. Government inefficiency is a stellar reason for people to be denied basic human rights. :lmao

:agree

poor mans probably going through hell trying to do something nice for someone

Wow. That doesn't exactly seem fair.

I agree, but also, he should have sought out legal advice and required them to sign papers relinquishing him of all parental rights. He has learned an expensive lesson.