If your child tells you they are gay and in love and want to be married... would you go to the cermony?

Would you tell them you disagree with their lifestyle?

How do you think you would handle such a situation?

I would most certainly go to the ceremony. I know how it is to have a mother who is unsupportive, and I would never want my child to feel that way.

I just want to add in that I think no matter what, as long as my child is not hurting themselves or others or engaging in some form of maladaptive behavior, I will support them in everything they do.

I might be a little initially :wowsers BUT, heck yes I would go to the ceremony... it's my child... I would not miss it for the world, and like Kara said... without too many exceptions I would support my son or daughter in everything they do.

I would welcome their chosen SO into my family with open arms. If they were just getting into the "lifestyle" I would want to be sure they were aware of the risks and were being safe... but I would not shun my child, absolutely not!

I however, am not of the opinion that being gay is a "choice" .... pre and post Christianity, there were and are many peoples that practice homosexual behavior without such the taboo we seem to have. And the behavior is found all throughout the animal kingdom... So knowing that, and feeling as I do probably influences my opinion a whole lot.

At that point in my child's life it is no longer my place to judge. All there is room for is to love and support them.

I would support them, theyre my child ,my blood i could never just turn them away
im not against homosexuals just thought i would answer

I would support them no matter what thier choice and that is something I constantly tell them - in life you are going to make choices that I may not always agree with, but as long as it makes you happy and it is legal...haha..then I can only pray for you and love you.

I would support and love my child no matter what. I love my child period.

I would support them no matter what thier choice and that is something I constantly tell them - in life you are going to make choices that I may not always agree with, but as long as it makes you happy and it is legal...haha..then I can only pray for you and love you.

:yes

i was waiting for the person i wanted to quote because this is a very touchy subject and i picked you

Gay, straight, whatever. My kid is my kid, she'll always be mine no matter what. I would hope her partner (male or female) would just treat her as awesomely as she deserves. But she's not even 2 yet, we've got a ways to wait for this one :D.

Aww, I feel so special!

:goodvibes:yes

i was waiting for the person i wanted to quote because this is a very touchy subject and i picked you

i would support my child even if i didnt agree with it..but i figure its their life and not mine..

Yep I would go to the ceremony and I would support them 100%!! I will welcome that person into our family with open arms.

Yep I would go to the ceremony and I would support them 100%!! I will welcome that person into our family with open arms.

Me too. :yes

Edited to add that I don't feel homosexuality is wrong.

I would support and love my child no matter what. I love my child period.


Absolutely correct. A parents love for their child should be unconditional. As long as they are happy, I am happy.

No matter what I will support my kids. Their sexual preference won't bother me at all straight or gay. I just want whoever they are with to treat my girls the way they should be.

DF's oldest daughter is gay. She's 18. We have supported her 100000%. You dont take ur love away from ur kids because they went a different route. :no

Sadly tho, I'm afraid DF would have a different perspective if our son turns out to be gay. He would eventually come around...but....he would be very angry. I think that probably goes for alot of fathers and sons tho.

If your child tells you they are gay and in love and want to be married... would you go to the cermony?

Would you tell them you disagree with their lifestyle?

How do you think you would handle such a situation?

I will support my children in whatever decisions they make when they are adults. I may not agree with their decisions, but they are still my kids... Of course, they would know that I didn't agree with their choices, but both of them will also know that they are loved, no matter what.

DF's oldest daughter is gay. She's 18. We have supported her 100000%. You dont take ur love away from ur kids because they went a different route. :no

Sadly tho, I'm afraid DF would have a different perspective if our son turns out to be gay. He would eventually come around...but....he would be very angry. I think that probably goes for alot of fathers and sons tho.


If any of our sons were gay I don't think my husband would be mad.. just taken back by it. But he'd support them, I know that for sure.


I don't think homosexuality is wrong, but I'll answer this debate anyway :lol I would support my children most definitely and be at any ceremonies for them.

I would most certainly go to the ceremony. I know how it is to have a mother who is unsupportive, and I would never want my child to feel that way.

I just want to add in that I think no matter what, as long as my child is not hurting themselves or others or engaging in some form of maladaptive behavior, I will support them in everything they do.

I would support them no matter what thier choice and that is something I constantly tell them - in life you are going to make choices that I may not always agree with, but as long as it makes you happy and it is legal...haha..then I can only pray for you and love you.

Yep I would go to the ceremony and I would support them 100%!! I will welcome that person into our family with open arms.

I will support my children in whatever decisions they make when they are adults. I may not agree with their decisions, but they are still my kids... Of course, they would know that I didn't agree with their choices, but both of them will also know that they are loved, no matter what.


:agree

If any of our sons were gay I don't think my husband would be mad.. just taken back by it. But he'd support them, I know that for sure.


I don't think homosexuality is wrong, but I'll answer this debate anyway :lol I would support my children most definitely and be at any ceremonies for them.

I didnt mean to imply that that goes for ALL fathers and sons. I do think MOST fathers are going to react by either withdrawing for a little while to digest it...or getting angery....or something of the nature. "Taken aback" in other words. Either way, if they are GOOD fathers, then they will eventually come to terms with it and love their son and support him anyway.

Devinn, I agree...I think pretty much most fathers would be disappointed. Maybe not mad, but disappointed.

And I agree w/ parkwoodmom's reply:

I will support my children in whatever decisions they make when they are adults. I may not agree with their decisions, but they are still my kids... Of course, they would know that I didn't agree with their choices, but both of them will also know that they are loved, no matter what.

They would know I didn't agree, but they would also know we fully support them and love them, regardless.

Being someone who's family blackballed her for her dating preference, I can say from experience that it hurts when your family turns their back on you because of who you choose to date (i mean, if he was a crack head that would be different but come on!!!) So yeah, I'll support my kids regardless...I was them happy...if that two misters or two misses then ok...

I don't think this question was meant for me, but being gay wouldn't be any kind of issue at all for me. No "I don't agree with your choices but I love you." stuff. If being gay is part of WHO THEY ARE, then it is no different to me than the fact that being straight is part of WHO I AM. I will make sure that they know they are loved and accepted for exactly who they are no matter what that is.

I would support them no matter what thier choice and that is something I constantly tell them - in life you are going to make choices that I may not always agree with, but as long as it makes you happy and it is legal...haha..then I can only pray for you and love you.

It would not be a choice they made that I was not happy about but it's my childs life and at that point they can do what they want. I would support my child. I would always support my children.

I don't think this question was meant for me, but being gay wouldn't be any kind of issue at all for me. No "I don't agree with your choices but I love you." stuff. If being gay is part of WHO THEY ARE, then it is no different to me than the fact that being straight is part of WHO I AM. I will make sure that they know they are loved and accepted for exactly who they are no matter what that is.

:yes:yes I'm ok with homosexuality so this doesn't really apply to me. I'm sure i'd be alittle suprised at first but after that as long as him/her are happy and the person treats them right I couldn't care less.

I do NOT think homosexuality is "wrong". AT ALL.

I'm just answering this to show my support, I guess.

My son is my son, I don't care if he's gay/bi/transexual, whatever. I'll be right there to help him out with his first date/boob job/you get the picture.

He's grown up with so many gay friends around, I honestly don't think he knows the difference, and why should he?

I do NOT think homosexuality is "wrong". AT ALL.

I'm just answering this to show my support, I guess.

My son is my son, I don't care if he's gay/bi/transexual, whatever. I'll be right there to help him out with his first date/boob job/you get the picture.

He's grown up with so many gay friends around, I honestly don't think he knows the difference, and why should he?

Fooo shizzle!!

I didnt mean to imply that that goes for ALL fathers and sons. I do think MOST fathers are going to react by either withdrawing for a little while to digest it...or getting angery....or something of the nature. "Taken aback" in other words. Either way, if they are GOOD fathers, then they will eventually come to terms with it and love their son and support him anyway.

I have to tell this story about my brother in law. He was married pretty young, I think about 20 yrs old, had a son and then him and his wife were divorced. For years he was "friends" with this other man and living at the same house, but had not come out of the closet. I think it was about a year before my husband and I got engaged that my BIL came out of the closet to his family and when he goes up to my FIL and tells him that he is gay, my FIL says, "Well Randy, I am not an idiot. You have been living with Fred for the last 15 yrs!" I just thought that was funny.
When my husband and I got engaged he called me into his barracks room one night (I Did not know about his brother at this time) and he says, "Honey, I have something to tell you and after I tell you, you may not want to marry me." Of course I thought maybe he met somebody else or fooled around, something like that. Well, he says "My brother is gay." My response, "Well, you're not gay are you?" He says. "No." and I told him, "Well then, why wouldn't I want to marry you??" LOL.....
I can say that having a gay BIL has changed my perspective a bit on things. I don't really get along with him that well, but that has nothing to do with his sexual orientation and more to do with the way he treats people.

I don't think this question was meant for me, but being gay wouldn't be any kind of issue at all for me. No "I don't agree with your choices but I love you." stuff. If being gay is part of WHO THEY ARE, then it is no different to me than the fact that being straight is part of WHO I AM. I will make sure that they know they are loved and accepted for exactly who they are no matter what that is.

I agree! It would be a non-issue for me. I feel it would be a part of them, not a choice for them!

Me and my dh have had some massive arguments over this. In fact just the other day we did. He always claims he would love our boys just the same but that they would have to be aware that he thinks it's "unnatural" and "not right". I get so pissed off that we just CANNOT even go there anymore:vent

i would hope it takes more than your child making a "wrong" (in your eyes, assuming you oppose gay marriage, etc) decision to put them out of your life. not going to the wedding as a statement is a good way to lose an immediate family member.

i know that for ME when we have kids, it is not going to be an issue. like others have said, if they're happy, that's what matters to me.

now, what scares the living shit out of me is my dh. if we have a son who turns out to be gay, i honestly don't know what my dh will do. he is so intolerant it is scary. i think part of it was the area he was raised in, part of it has to do with intolerance in the military (not saying all but i do know quite a few homophobic soldiers:banghead) and part of it is just his ignorance on the subject.

i'd be afraid he'd try to beat it out of him or something. or disown him. this is quite possibly THE MOST touchy subject between dh and i, and i very nearly didn't marry him because of it. in the end i just have to hope with some gentle prodding he will do some research of his own and become more accepting. no matter what dh does, however, i will support our child no matter what.

wow i didn't intend to ramble but this issue (about dh) really does worry me, and we don't even have kids yet.

plan and simple, that is my baby and i will love him/her no matter what their choices in life are. i will stand by them and be a proud mother:D

:yesI would without a doubt go, he/she is my baby NO matter what!!!

i would love my child no matter what.:)

We love our children. We wouldn't be "happy" with their decision but wouldn't stop loving them or accepting them in our lives because of it.

of course I'd go :) To me there is nothing wrong with it and I love my children through and through. I would hope a parent would be there for their child you gave them life.

I am curious how telling a child you are unhappy and find their "choices" wrong can go and in hand with "support"?

for us we can say that we don't agree with homosexuality because of our religious choices (me at least, dh if he disagrees it would be a different reason) but we support her because we want her to be happy. it'd be the same thing if she wanted to do a career/job that we didnt' approve of (i.e. pornography or stripping or something like that). we'd tell her that we dislike that choice but we love her and would support her. i would hope though that she'd come to me before she decided she was ready to marry someone and we wouldn't get the "i'm gay and getting married" bomb dropped on us at the same time.

don't flame me, it's my opinion

I am curious how telling a child you are unhappy and find their "choices" wrong can go and in hand with "support"?

It's like with anything. You can disagree with people's choices but still support them. I am sure we all have friends that have made some choices that we didnt agree with, but we dont stop being their friend.

Just like this situation, you can tell your child you dont agree with that choice but I want you to be happy and if it makes you happy then that's all that matters. I dont know if I am making any sense. I know what I want to say in my head but cant get it out the way I want to.

for us we can say that we don't agree with homosexuality because of our religious choices (me at least, dh if he disagrees it would be a different reason) but we support her because we want her to be happy. it'd be the same thing if she wanted to do a career/job that we didnt' approve of (i.e. pornography or stripping or something like that). we'd tell her that we dislike that choice but we love her and would support her. i would hope though that she'd come to me before she decided she was ready to marry someone and we wouldn't get the "i'm gay and getting married" bomb dropped on us at the same time.

don't flame me, it's my opinion

I agree....I don't think support has to go hand in hand with actually agreeing with the decision in a moral sense.

we would support them i am one of the kids that had problems with my parents didnt talk to them for a while and i think that i wouldnt want to give my kids a chance to put us out of their lives

I would support them no matter what thier choice and that is something I constantly tell them - in life you are going to make choices that I may not always agree with, but as long as it makes you happy and it is legal...haha..then I can only pray for you and love you.

This pretty well sums it up for me.

I am completely fine with homosexuality. I have several people in my family that are homosexual and come from a very loving family who doesn't judge. If one of my children came to me and told me they were gay and wanted to get married and spend the rest of their lives with this person then I will stand by them 100%. Homosexuality doesn't bother me in the least. If 2 people are in love and want to be with eachother then let them. This doesn't effect my life at all. As long as my children and happy and healthy that is all the matters to me. If they wanted a ceremony I would be there to help organize and be sitting front row to watch them commit to eachother.

I think to tell your kids that their actions are immoral in your eyes and the eyes of your God is not suppot at all, in fact it is the opposite.

I think I can say "I wouldnt marry a lady, or be a stripper, but I will support you in waht you do"
But if you say "I think you are wrong in your actions, but will support you" makes no sense to me. I really just trying to understand.

and Jill, why would anyone flame you?

I think to tell your kids that their actions are immoral in your eyes and the eyes of your God is not suppot at all, in fact it is the opposite.

I think I can say "I wouldnt marry a lady, or be a stripper, but I will support you in waht you do"
But if you say "I think you are wrong in your actions, but will support you" makes no sense to me. I really just trying to understand.

and Jill, why would anyone flame you?

oh because people think i have an anti-gay view of life and people think that i dislike gay people which is completely untrue. i think what works for one family or the dynamics in one family doesn't work for all

I don't know why homosexuality is even an issue. I haven't read the thread, but I think it's a stupid thing to get all riled up about. In general, I don't understand how the same folks who seem to get all judgmental and stuff..... usually subscribe to a religion which teaches them NOT TO JUDGE OTHERS.

In my opinion, it's wasted energy. It's not anyone's job, or responsibility to have an opinion on how a person lives their life. And I don't know why someone would risk looking like a hypocrite by doing so. :shrug

ETA:
I think it's really f*cked up that many of our politicians have such hateful agendas based on their personal judgments. Trying to amend the Constitution to officially make a HUGE percentage of our population's love illegitimate? Seriously... what the f*ck.....

I don't know why homosexuality is even an issue. I haven't read the thread, but I think it's a stupid thing to get all riled up about. In general, I don't understand how the same folks who seem to get all judgmental and stuff..... usually subscribe to a religion which teaches them NOT TO JUDGE OTHERS.

In my opinion, it's wasted energy. It's not anyone's job, or responsibility to have an opinion on how a person lives their life. And I don't know why someone would risk looking like a hypocrite by doing so. :shrug

ETA:
I think it's really f*cked up that many of our politicians have such hateful agendas based on their personal judgments. Trying to amend the Constitution to officially make a HUGE percentage of our population's love illegitimate? Seriously... what the f*ck.....

:lovesign :cheer :jump4joy :smitten :hail :clap :roof :woohoo

oh because people think i have an anti-gay view of life and people think that i dislike gay people which is completely untrue. i think what works for one family or the dynamics in one family doesn't work for all

Many people seem to think that if you hold a moral belief that something is wrong morally that makes you intolerant or full-of hate, which is totally untrue. Having a moral value does not (or should not) mean that you hate/dislike or are intolerant of those who do not hold the same values. I can honestly say that I do not hate anyone, period. There are people I dislike, but I base that on personal interaction or how a person behaves, not on religion, politics, sexual orientation or race. I just don't have the energy to actually hate people.....
On the other hand, there are people out there who do take it to that level...on every side of the coin. That is unfortunate and sometimes it gives the rest of us an uphill battle to fight.

Just my opinion!:blush

Many people seem to think that if you hold a moral belief that something is wrong morally that makes you intolerant or full-of hate, which is totally untrue. Having a moral value does not (or should not) mean that you hate/dislike or are intolerant of those who do not hold the same values. I can honestly say that I do not hate anyone, period. There are people I dislike, but I base that on personal interaction or how a person behaves, not on religion, politics, sexual orientation or race. I just don't have the energy to actually hate people.....
On the other hand, there are people out there who do take it to that level...on every side of the coin. That is unfortunate and sometimes it gives the rest of us an uphill battle to fight.

Just my opinion!:blush

:agree :clap

I totally agree with everything Jill has said :five

Many people seem to think that if you hold a moral belief that something is wrong morally that makes you intolerant or full-of hate, which is totally untrue. Having a moral value does not (or should not) mean that you hate/dislike or are intolerant of those who do not hold the same values. I can honestly say that I do not hate anyone, period. There are people I dislike, but I base that on personal interaction or how a person behaves, not on religion, politics, sexual orientation or race. I just don't have the energy to actually hate people.....
On the other hand, there are people out there who do take it to that level...on every side of the coin. That is unfortunate and sometimes it gives the rest of us an uphill battle to fight.

Just my opinion!:blush

I don't think that if you hold a moral belief that being gay is wrong, you are bad, hateful, of even intolerant necessarily. I think the belief itself is completely silly, but I don't think someone is BAD because of it. When people use their moral beliefs to try and legislate how other people should live, THAT is intolerant and reeks of hatred, even if people won't acknowledge it. I would never tell someone that I love, like, or are indifferent to that the way they choose to live their lives should be illegal just because I don't agree with it. :shrug

And before someone pulls the "are you saying that people should be allowed to murder others if they believe it is okay?" crap on me, OF COURSE NOT. I am a firm believer that your right to swing your fist ends where someone else's face begins. So, no crazy extremes please. :P

JMO.

I don't think that if you hold a moral belief that being gay is wrong, you are bad, hateful, of even intolerant necessarily. I think the belief itself is completely silly, but I don't think someone is BAD because of it. When people use their moral beliefs to try and legislate how other people should live, THAT is intolerant and reeks of hatred, even if people won't acknowledge it. I would never tell someone that I love, like, or are indifferent to that the way they choose to live their lives should be illegal just because I don't agree with it. :shrug

And before someone pulls the "are you saying that people should be allowed to murder others if they believe it is okay?" crap on me, OF COURSE NOT. I am a firm believer that your right to swing your fist ends where someone else's face begins. So, no crazy extremes please. :P

JMO.

:yes

I don't think that if you hold a moral belief that being gay is wrong, you are bad, hateful, of even intolerant necessarily. I think the belief itself is completely silly, but I don't think someone is BAD because of it. When people use their moral beliefs to try and legislate how other people should live, THAT is intolerant and reeks of hatred, even if people won't acknowledge it. I would never tell someone that I love, like, or are indifferent to that the way they choose to live their lives should be illegal just because I don't agree with it. :shrug

And before someone pulls the "are you saying that people should be allowed to murder others if they believe it is okay?" crap on me, OF COURSE NOT. I am a firm believer that your right to swing your fist ends where someone else's face begins. So, no crazy extremes please. :P

JMO.

:hail

I'm not sure what I would do, I would always love them no matter what but I would definitely tell them I do not agree with their lifestyle. I doubt I'd boycott the ceremony though but I'd let them know I didn't agree with it.