As I sit here the tears gush outta my eyes. How am I suppose to do this? He leaves on monday the day of my 23'rd birthday. I am so scared. I dont want anything to happen to malcolm. He is my better half, my soul mate, my love, my everything. How am I suppose to make this time pass. I don't know anyone around me who is dealing with me. My friends don't understand cause they are not going through it. I am terrified that something is gonna happen. How is it that I can be so lucky to have him in my life and then have this happen. Yes I knew he was gonna leave but I didnt think it would happen so fast. He is taking it so much better than I am. I'm a wreck all I do is cry and cry and cry some more. God my heart is breaking so bad right now. The worst part is I wont even get to see him before he leaves. He was suppose to get a pass to come see me and the kids but they didnt give it to him. I just want to feel his arms around me. I don't know what to do with myself. I feel completely spaced out. Then I have people who don't know what I am going through telling me to stop crying. What the hell am I just suppose to hold everything in. Am I not aloud to cry because I am a silent rank. Then all they know how to do is judge. How can you be in a relationship like that or this or that. Hell because I want to. I don't know if anyone has any advice on how to get through this easier please let me know.
:unlove
:gloomy
Yami

First of all :welcome to SOS!
Second, take a deep breath, and relax. It will be okay! A lot of us on here are going through one, or are separated from our SO's. We all have been there, or will be and are here for you! Just remember to stay busy, and don't think about it too much. If you do, it will just make it that much harder. Enjoy the last few days you have with him, and give him all the support you can. He's going to need it, and it helps a lot to know that you are there for him and love him.

Make small goals for yourself while he's gone. me, while he's away, even if it just is at school, I look to the next friday, when I can go hang with my sorority sisters! Or have a goal to do well in your classes, or go to the gym twice a week...just small ones, and before you know it, it will be the last week or so before R&R, and he is there for a short time...then after, you will be running around like mad preparing for his homecoming!

We are all here for you, and ready to help you out in any way we can. Feel free to PM me anytime hon!
:hanginthere

Well you have come to right place to get support.

You got to find things to do to keep yourself busy. Take up a new hobby. Hang in there. If you ever need or want to talk I am here. :hugs :hugs

keep yourself busy is what everyone has told me. I haven't gone through a deployment yet, DB leaves the 2nd. remember that we're all here for you and that he's going to come home and be fine and you guys have the REST of your lives to live together and make all of those wonderful memories together, as a family. PM me if you need someone to talk to.

Its going to be OK! :hugs
This is a better place to get support than friends who dont understand...loving though they are, they say things like I dont know how you do it. There are times we really dont know how we do it...and please dont remind me :) by stating it.

First 30 days or so is the hardest, then the days get better. Always get out of bed, especially on days you dont want to. As long as your good days out number your bad ones, you will be ok - if they dont get some help. Stay busy...it will help the time fly.

although i'm not in the same boat (my DH is only going to training but for up to 6 months) i dont' have the fear really but i understand all the rest. we just got married 3 months ago and i knew this would happen at some point but it just seemed like BAM! all of a sudden. i cry constantly as well.

I guess that isn't much help. Just that you aren't alone. PM me if you want to "commiserate.":hugehug

Its going to be OK! :hugs
This is a better place to get support than friends who dont understand...loving though they are, they say things like I dont know how you do it. There are times we really dont know how we do it...and please dont remind me :) by stating it.

First 30 days or so is the hardest, then the days get better. Always get out of bed, especially on days you dont want to. As long as your good days out number your bad ones, you will be ok - if they dont get some help. Stay busy...it will help the time fly.


I agree a 110% with her!! Deployments are hard at first but things get better as you adjust!!! We're all here for you!!!

welcome, sweetie you will get through it because you have to. and your going to have those bad crappy days where all you want is ice cream and jammies to give the world the middle finger. your going to have days when you get so much accomplished your amazed, its got ups and downs, the best thing to do is let yourself feel those emotions! stay busy, make small goals never count the days until he comes homes. count the paydays. we have a jar here and are filling it with M&M's and counting up. busy busy really helps and know that is ok to have those bad days.. HUGS you'll get through it...

first of all hi and welcome :heythere

This is my first deployment and when I found out he was leaving I cried so much...I didn't know what to do, so just know that what youo are feeling is a totally nornal feeling and you have every right to cry it out...i think that actually helps sometimes...

you will get through this...we all will...there are days when I don't know how i am going to live...but I make it through and before I know it the week is gone...you CAN do it...

Just try to be positive, it is hard...but I am going to tell you what my boyfriend told me right before he left

he said "put a measuring sape down and measure out 26 feet...look at how long 26 feet is, well that is the world record for long jump...and someone did that someone jumped that it is POSSIBLE...so when you get upset about how long this deployment is, think about that people have done this and it is possible"

you can do it...I hope you feel better soon:hugehug

Hey sweety i am ready to go through the same thing my soul is leaving in a few days too we have been married 8 years and have missed many holidays birthdays and again for the 3rd year our anniversary is spent alone this is his first deployment but the Marine training is long and hard and mostly on the west coast for his mos we live on the east coast no dont stop crying the actual tears will stop eventually but inside they will continue
My Marine will be missing the birth of our first grandchild next month wont see him till he is over a year old. Our youngest daughter is giving us our first grandson then in august our oldest daughter is giving us our 2nd he wont see that one either so just keep your chin up sweety and if you need anything just send me a private message ok???

:weldust

You survive by falling apart here to a bunch of women who DO understand! DB's deployment is almost over and sometimes I look back and can't believe it has almost been a whole year. DB actually said he loved all of these ladies just so he didn't have to worry quite so much- I can fall apart here and there are so many people who will build you back up! :hugehug

I am so sorry you won't be able to see him off spend or spend some time with him before he leaves. Cry... you need to get it all out... I cried, screamed, just felt so angry..and that's okay. You have to let these emotions out.. it really helps.

You can do this... be strong... get a routine..stick with it. Look to r&r... you can't think of any other way... it will just drive you crazy. Hang in there you can do this and when you feeling down or need to vent that is what we are here for...

((Hugs))

Laura

You can do this we are all here for you when you need us! Happy Birthday early!

I remember how awful it felt right before my DH (then my DF) left for his deployment last year. If you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me, ok? :hugs

i can totally relate to how you are feeling right now. my ds will be gone 2 weeks tommorow. i have 3 kids 6,5, and 2. he is training in n.c at fort bragg and will be deploying to afghanistan in march.we have been married almost 10 years now and this is his first overseas deployment with the nat'l gaurd. when i found out about the deployment i had 3 months to prepare. it didn't seem real until about a week before, and for 3 days before i bawled my eyes out like a little baby. what was hardest though was having to stay strong and put up a front to my girls who were also so sad. the day he left i was in such a depression, i didnt know if i would snap out. well i did, i still have my days but what makes it easier is i can still talk to him while he trains. we get to see him for 4 days in march before he goes overseas. i have mixed emotions. i am happy i will get to hold him again, but i don't know if i can deal with the seperation again. this time knowing th danger involved, and the sporatic communication. to go weeks on end w/o hearing from ds will be excrutiating. i feel your pain hun. feel free to pm me if you need to. everyone on this website is in your boat and will offer you invaluable support you can't get anywhere else

:grouphug:grouphug:grouphug:grouphugi can totally relate to how you are feeling right now. my ds will be gone 2 weeks tommorow. i have 3 kids 6,5, and 2. he is training in n.c at fort bragg and will be deploying to afghanistan in march.we have been married almost 10 years now and this is his first overseas deployment with the nat'l gaurd. when i found out about the deployment i had 3 months to prepare. it didn't seem real until about a week before, and for 3 days before i bawled my eyes out like a little baby. what was hardest though was having to stay strong and put up a front to my girls who were also so sad. the day he left i was in such a depression, i didnt know if i would snap out. well i did, i still have my days but what makes it easier is i can still talk to him while he trains. we get to see him for 4 days in march before he goes overseas. i have mixed emotions. i am happy i will get to hold him again, but i don't know if i can deal with the seperation again. this time knowing th danger involved, and the sporatic communication. to go weeks on end w/o hearing from ds will be excrutiating. i feel your pain hun. feel free to pm me if you need to. everyone on this website is in your boat and will offer you invaluable support you can't get anywhere else

I feel like you took the thoughts from my head and put them down into words. I understand how it is frustrating to try to talk to people who aren't going through the same thing and therefore cannot understand. That's why all of these wonderful ladies are here, to listen and offer advice and support. Just PM me if you ever want to talk

I am not going thru deployment yet, still basic and ait....but he is away and i worry about what hasnt happened yet...it sucks being alone, but have small goals, something for yourself to look forward to and each day that passess is day closer, always think positive...others have come home, so will yours...
It hurts because you love him....chin up