View Full Version : Sigh. F*cking Figures


LittleMsSunshine
12-24-2007, 12:00 AM
Well, we're done for good. I guess I'll just tell the whole story so it makes more sense.

We met August 2006. Things were great the first few months.... he went out to sea December-February. Came home, things are great till he gets orders to Connecticut. So we break up on Valentine's Day.

His orders end up being canceled last minute. So we get back together on the 4th of July. Two days later he leaves for a 90+ day patrol.

He gets back early October and things are amazing for about three weeks. Then he gets himself all psyched out and decides he's not ready for a serious relationship. So we break up a second time.

Thanksgiving Day he calls me and asks if I'll pick him up from the airport the next night. So I do. He tells me he's reprioritized his life and that he loves me. So we get back together and start talking about our future together.

December 20th.... we break up a third time over the phone because he's all psyched out again. I spend two hours convincing him to talk to a therapist because he's having a hard time.

Tonight... we hang out and have a blast. Go to the mall, I gave him his Christmas gifts... go out to dinner.... on the way back to drop him off, I ask if I should just give up. After a long pause, he says yes. We get to the gate... he gets out of the car and apologizes and says he doesn't know why he wants to be alone.... but that he'd rather stay single and be depressed. So I ask him if that's it.... and he says yeah. And gets choked up and walks to his car.

We're done. I've never been so upset in my life. I feel like puking.... though somehow I knew it was going to come to this.

Anyway.... I just need to get away for a while. If I'm not around much in the next few weeks.... that's why. I'm embarrassed to have put so much of myself into a relationship that, in retrospect, was doomed from the start. You can't expect someone who's incapable of loving themselves to know what it means to love another.

I apologize for all the times I've whined to you guys or vented about my on/off again relationship... I wish it didn't have to go this far in order for me to wake the fuck up and realize I was wasting my time.

So, I'll see you guys in a while. PM me if you need anything. I'll check those.... otherwise I think I'm just gonna lay low for a while and try to fix my :unlove

:hugs Love you all, thanks for everything.

harrisonsdream
12-24-2007, 12:03 AM
:hugs i'm so sorry hun you deserve better than that and you will find someone perfect for you

Pebbles
12-24-2007, 12:05 AM
:wub you Heidi.

He sounds too flaky :puke

settles
12-24-2007, 12:07 AM
im really sorry you are so hurt.
big or small all things happen for a reason. be strong and keep your head high.
take some time for yourself, go shop, have a massage, just do what you need to do to feel good. and iknow its going to be hard to not think about him but dont do it, think about yourself. you need to do whats best for you!!

LittleMsSunshine
12-24-2007, 12:10 AM
honestly..... as upset as I am..... it's kind of a load off. I need to focus and take care of myself... and get myself in a better place.

I realized how unhealthy this relationship was when he broke up with me.... and my biggest concern was taking care of him instead of letting myself be sad/brokenhearted/upset.

I have serious codependent/abandonment issues that I REALLY need to get a grip on before I even *think* about dating again. :sigh

Thanks everyone. I love you girls more than you know. :hugs

lovingamarine07
12-24-2007, 12:12 AM
im sorry sweetie! you deserve someone that isnt so wishy wshy about a relationship and loving you. im sorry your going through this!

SAMSET
12-24-2007, 12:17 AM
I'm sorry :hugs I hope you feel better...and yes taking the time out for yourself is a great idea my last big breakup ( a relationship sounding similar to yours) i had the money at the time so after we broke up i got my hair done bought a new outfit and makeup and the retail therapy helped a little :)..............I'm sorry your going through this but obviously it's better in the long run so that you can meet someone who can love you and can actually committ to you!

MontanaSweetie
12-24-2007, 12:31 AM
I'm so sorry sweetie! Hang in there! You are way to good for him anyways. :hugs

RunAwayLove
12-24-2007, 12:40 AM
:hugs im so sorry heidi take ur time but im here if you need to talk:hugs

*Crystal*
12-24-2007, 12:53 AM
Im sorry sweetie!! You deserve better and I hope one day you find it. But you are right, you need to focus on yourself instead of trying to make someone else happy!! :hugs

OMG it's Andrea!
12-24-2007, 01:40 AM
i'm so sorry sweetie. that's just awful. i completely understand that you need a break and need to just worry about yourself. stay strong.

timshel
12-24-2007, 02:23 AM
:hugs

LuvnMySoldier
12-24-2007, 07:26 AM
:hugs I'm so sorry. You deserve so much better.

mrskmw
12-24-2007, 07:39 AM
:hugs I'm so sorry Heidi! You deserve better than that!

Tara S.
12-24-2007, 07:46 AM
i am so sorry...i wish there was something i could say to take that pain away...

Berkley
12-24-2007, 07:55 AM
I'm so sorry :hugs
You deserve so much better then him!! I'm so sorry!!

tifflovezyou
12-24-2007, 09:54 AM
Im here if you EVER need me, but you already know that! :bigsadhug

:wub you! :hugs

I Miss Him:(
12-24-2007, 09:59 AM
Gosh im so sorry. it seems youve been on a rollercoaster ride that wont end. We ar here for you. Keep your head up!:bigsadhug

CristinaFaye
12-24-2007, 10:05 AM
I am so sorry. On the positive side once this heartache heals, you know he can't cause any more. It sounds like he's got some stuff to work out and you'd be better off not being caught up in it. Take care hun and I think it's awesome that you are going to focus on YOU. Lots of love!!!

JudyB
12-24-2007, 10:09 AM
:hugs I'm so sorry hun :(
Like you said though...this may be the best thing, you can work on you and when you find that perfect someone you will be more than ready :hugs

The Megster
12-24-2007, 10:11 AM
I'm sorry to hear that. But, it sounds like you need a little much deserved "you" time. It does help. That's what a majority of the end of 2006 and beginning of 2007 was for me. I actually did learn a lot about myself.

mrs_ski
12-24-2007, 10:12 AM
:bigsadhug Im so sorry! That is aweful, I guess he doent know what he is losing. Maybe later on he will snap out of this depression..... who knows.
Hang in there! We are all here for you. Try to have a merry christmas!

Godders_Girl80
12-24-2007, 10:55 AM
Oh wow....I'm sorry hun :(

You are a smart girl and I am glad you recognize that YOU come first in your life. I hope you find peace within yourself and take the steps to love you first and foremost. Focus on yourself and you will attract the right guy. :yes :hugs

cassie
12-24-2007, 11:24 AM
We've never spoken before, but I'm here if you need someone to vent to about being on again/off again! :hugs

smokeyrose21
12-24-2007, 11:45 AM
OH WOW IM SORRY

sunflower
12-24-2007, 11:53 AM
I'm sorry sweetie. I hope you're alright, all you can do is take it day by day,i agree with the others you should spend a day pampering yourself. :bigsadhug

jennypage
12-27-2007, 06:00 AM
I am so sorry! This may not make anything better- but at least you knew before it went TOO far... I mean, it may be better to get away now. Sorry you're feeling so down. I know it sucks!

joanna766
12-27-2007, 06:25 PM
Next time leave his ass at the airport.

*.:Hope:.*
01-01-2008, 11:36 PM
Sorry I am late on posting, Heidi. (I've been away)

But hun, I so hope you know you deserve more respect than that, and a man that will be there for you. :hugs

If you need me for anything just let me know... if you want, msg me and I"ll give my # so no matter what time you can call me, ok?

KelsEllie
01-02-2008, 11:51 PM
:hugs I'm sorry girl. But, I'm sure you'll end up happier this way. I hope your alone time works out for you, and we'll be waiting as your loving online SOS family when you return! :)

ZX7Rgirl
01-06-2008, 06:53 PM
As hard as it may be, do not think about what you have lost, but instead focus on what you haven't lost. Think of those things that are still in your life- family, job, close friends, etc- that you are blessed with. Take care of your needs and realize that the relationship was not good for you, so there is no need to hold onto it.

That being said, I know (believe me!) that it is VERY tough to let go of someone in whom you have invested so much of your heart. Don't ever apologize for loving someone, but realize that you deserve the utmost of happiness...all the time.