LittleMsSunshine
12-24-2007, 12:00 AM
Well, we're done for good. I guess I'll just tell the whole story so it makes more sense.
We met August 2006. Things were great the first few months.... he went out to sea December-February. Came home, things are great till he gets orders to Connecticut. So we break up on Valentine's Day.
His orders end up being canceled last minute. So we get back together on the 4th of July. Two days later he leaves for a 90+ day patrol.
He gets back early October and things are amazing for about three weeks. Then he gets himself all psyched out and decides he's not ready for a serious relationship. So we break up a second time.
Thanksgiving Day he calls me and asks if I'll pick him up from the airport the next night. So I do. He tells me he's reprioritized his life and that he loves me. So we get back together and start talking about our future together.
December 20th.... we break up a third time over the phone because he's all psyched out again. I spend two hours convincing him to talk to a therapist because he's having a hard time.
Tonight... we hang out and have a blast. Go to the mall, I gave him his Christmas gifts... go out to dinner.... on the way back to drop him off, I ask if I should just give up. After a long pause, he says yes. We get to the gate... he gets out of the car and apologizes and says he doesn't know why he wants to be alone.... but that he'd rather stay single and be depressed. So I ask him if that's it.... and he says yeah. And gets choked up and walks to his car.
We're done. I've never been so upset in my life. I feel like puking.... though somehow I knew it was going to come to this.
Anyway.... I just need to get away for a while. If I'm not around much in the next few weeks.... that's why. I'm embarrassed to have put so much of myself into a relationship that, in retrospect, was doomed from the start. You can't expect someone who's incapable of loving themselves to know what it means to love another.
I apologize for all the times I've whined to you guys or vented about my on/off again relationship... I wish it didn't have to go this far in order for me to wake the fuck up and realize I was wasting my time.
So, I'll see you guys in a while. PM me if you need anything. I'll check those.... otherwise I think I'm just gonna lay low for a while and try to fix my :unlove
:hugs Love you all, thanks for everything.
We met August 2006. Things were great the first few months.... he went out to sea December-February. Came home, things are great till he gets orders to Connecticut. So we break up on Valentine's Day.
His orders end up being canceled last minute. So we get back together on the 4th of July. Two days later he leaves for a 90+ day patrol.
He gets back early October and things are amazing for about three weeks. Then he gets himself all psyched out and decides he's not ready for a serious relationship. So we break up a second time.
Thanksgiving Day he calls me and asks if I'll pick him up from the airport the next night. So I do. He tells me he's reprioritized his life and that he loves me. So we get back together and start talking about our future together.
December 20th.... we break up a third time over the phone because he's all psyched out again. I spend two hours convincing him to talk to a therapist because he's having a hard time.
Tonight... we hang out and have a blast. Go to the mall, I gave him his Christmas gifts... go out to dinner.... on the way back to drop him off, I ask if I should just give up. After a long pause, he says yes. We get to the gate... he gets out of the car and apologizes and says he doesn't know why he wants to be alone.... but that he'd rather stay single and be depressed. So I ask him if that's it.... and he says yeah. And gets choked up and walks to his car.
We're done. I've never been so upset in my life. I feel like puking.... though somehow I knew it was going to come to this.
Anyway.... I just need to get away for a while. If I'm not around much in the next few weeks.... that's why. I'm embarrassed to have put so much of myself into a relationship that, in retrospect, was doomed from the start. You can't expect someone who's incapable of loving themselves to know what it means to love another.
I apologize for all the times I've whined to you guys or vented about my on/off again relationship... I wish it didn't have to go this far in order for me to wake the fuck up and realize I was wasting my time.
So, I'll see you guys in a while. PM me if you need anything. I'll check those.... otherwise I think I'm just gonna lay low for a while and try to fix my :unlove
:hugs Love you all, thanks for everything.