Okay. Simply put, my future MILI is isane.:banghead She is literally border line insane. Over the line, sometimes. IMO.
I'm not going to waste your time with reasons I know she's insane, but rather the problem at hand.
She's always been known to steal. I'm talking, she goes to wal*mart and gets EVERYTHING she needs by slealing it. Food, clothes, soap, shampoo, eye liner, you name it...she steals it. I don't see how, but she does. And she's GOOD at it, and I know she'll never stop. She's also known for ripping people off, big time. I have a personal story there, but it's not really right to put it on here, since it's a legal matter.
OKAY. So. My fiance came home from Iraq in September and had over 5 grand in the bank, (he paid off all of his debt, car payments, and all sorts of stuff. 5 grand is what he had left.) He then completely supported us for the next 2 months while we lived there and kept getting paid. When he got out of the marines and we got home to Ohio, he had a little over 3 grand. I was pleased with that.
Okay. About a week later, he had blown a bunch of it on stuff for his drums, christmas shopping, ect. He had a little over 2 grand. Still, not bad. He hadn't gotten to blow money in forever, you know?
Suddenly, 3 days later, I go to the ATM for him while he's pumping gas, and he has UNDER ONE GRAND. WTF? I said, "Baby! Where did over a thousand dollars of your money go in THREE DAYS?" he said..."I don't know. That's really weird. I'LL ASK MY MOM, because she has my credit card and keeps track of it online for me". I said...uh, you should probably take your card back. We got into a fight over it. So I dropped it.
Yesterday he tells me (he's at her house now)...that he hadn't received his bank statement this month so he looked in the trash, and his mother had THROWN IT AWAY...and it had a 500 CABLE BILL ON IT....HIS MOTHER'S CABLE BILL. She did NOT ask him for help or bother to TELL him she'd spent over half of his money..and god KNOWS how much else the entire time he was deployed while she had HIS CREDIT CARD. Freak. he should have left it with me.
So. My question. How the hell do I drill it into his little brain that he HAS to get her under control, take his credit card back, and change his passwords online so she has NO ACCESS when it's time for the baby to come? We can't be living on our own with a baby and our own bills and have money disappearing to her sorry ass 'needs and wants' and have him just blowing it off! AH IT PISSES ME OFF SO FREAKING BAD!:reallymad
Help, help, help!

I don't know what to tell you. This would be a make or break thing in the relationship. I would lay it on the line of her or me. Face it, that is not ok in a marriage and with a baby coming, that is very immature.

I hope it works out.

I don't know what to tell you. This would be a make or break thing in the relationship. I would lay it on the line of her or me. Face it, that is not ok in a marriage and with a baby coming, that is very immature.

I hope it works out.

I agree. U have to be able to count on having money for diapers and stuff and keeping a roof over that baby's head and heat so it doesn't freeze, and u really can't if she's taking however much she wants out whenever she wants. And it's not her money. And if u guys marry, it's not just his money, it's BOTH of urs so u should have say in her accessing ur account. If u stay, I certainly wouldn't put any money I earned in that account but open a different one she can't have access to.

This is something you're going to have to seriously deal with. This is going to be a HUGE fight but it HAS to be fought. She simply can not be allowed to siphon money from the two of you just because she's his mother. That's not right. He has GOT to stand up to her and take back the control of his own money.

And if he can't or simply won't stand up to the woman, I would seriously reconsider marrying him.

Now THIS is something to threaten to break up the relationship over. Just because she's his mom it's not ok for her to do whatever. She needs boundaries. And psychiatric help if her stealing problem is THAT big. But as a family you need to know money is going to be where it's supposed to. And he's a grown ass man. What is his mom doing with his credit card? He needs to go online and check his statements or have them sent to him by the bank and change everything. I would get a new credit card so I could have a new number.

I'm floored that this is going on and you're engaged with a baby on the way. My SO and I are having problems officially committing to each other and he put me in charge of everything when he left. For you two to be getting married and him still having his mother (who's unstable) manage his accounts says something about how much he trusts you and that needs to be hashed out. With no trust it can't work.