I am looking for advice and experience. While I have been through deploymnets before it was never having to help children through it. Roseanna was 7 months when Mark was last deployed and after a year she had to relearn him all over again. This time she is just turned 5 and so far having a very difficult time. Mark was home for Christmas (on break from training in TX) but he is gone for good now for a year and she is being so hateful toward me. The few days before he left were the worst because she insisted that I could keep daddy home for her. We sat her down and talked it out, ect but she would not listen. i feel now that she thinks I let her down. i am scared how this year is going to go.

Russell on the other hand is 20 months. Will he remember Mark when he comes home? I have no clue about this. We have daddy videos of storytime from previous deployment that we did for Roseanna and I plan on showing him them but he is not much for tv. We also bought both kids build a bear with his voice in them but I am scraed that he will not remember him Any advice for either of my children?

Try giving her his pillow. Or use one of his undershirts as a pillowcase for her pillow.

That helped a child i used to watch.

Sometimes children dont know how to express their feelings even at 5 they are at a lose for the words...sit down and talk with her about her missing daddy...give her something special of daddys and have her write a letter to her daddy everyday...give her a pic of her and her daddy together to have at her bedside or with her everyday...ask ur hubby to sned a special gift or message back via email or snail mail...I am so sorry this is a tough situation I know...try to make a deployment chain with her using paper links and set it up around the house...I know it'll be long...but take one down every night as a countdown to when dad returns!! Good luck..If I can help anymore let me know!

I wanted to say thanks for the ideas! I am def going to use them! Any other are greatly appreciated and if anyone has experience knowing if Russell (20 mos) will remember daddy that would be great. i just want to know what to expect. They have doc appoints on Friday and I am going to discuss all this with her also to see what she thinks.

My youngest daughter is six and she was acting silly before he left and them had a melt down. I created a website on thefamilypost.com which is free for military and you can put video on it. After she saw herslef on video and she wrote to him on there and then she read his email back she loved it. It made her feel great. She could write to her dad and watch her videos and his and look at the pics we put on. It made her feel like a big girl. Not to mention it helped with her reading and writing. Look into it. All my kids also have a shirt of his to sleep in. Even me.

Show him pics of daddy. Talk about daddy every day. If he can call let him talk to daddy on the phone. I worry about that with Bailey if Tony deploys in March.

Did you try the flatdaddy? www.flatdaddies.com It works for my daughter, she really likes it. I'm not sure if it would work on older kids though, but it might be worth a try.
Good luck!

My daughter is 27 mos. and daddy has been gone since May. And let me tell you she remembers daddy. I have pics of daddy she has a daddy pillow and we web cam she actually kiss the screen when she sees him. Today she broke my heart he called and wanted to talk to him the first words out of her mouth were come home daddy please come home.(he is due home late march I hope).As long as you still make daddy a part of eveyday I'm sure your son will do fine.

just throwin' out a few ideas :)

-if your daughter is in school, try talking to her teacher to see if she can organize a "hero" day, where they can talk about what is going on.. it really helped my four year old.
-try some great "proud of my daddy" shirts from cafe-press.com, my daughter is so proud she won't take them off
-take a picture of him to a screen printer and make a pillowcase so she can sleep with him.
-we also offer bracelets on my website.. www.halfofmyheartcreations.com. not trying to push it off, but we offer daddy/mommy bracelets and there is a mini picture frame charm on it for a picture :)
-for your youngest and your oldest, take some strips of colored paper and write a message to daddy each day about what you did, how you're feeling, etc. then make a paper chain around the house. it reminds them that he is coming home, and that they will have something special to look at when he does.
-for your daughter, have her put a nickle in a jar to save up for a "date with daddy"

just some ideas.. hope they help! :hugs

Thanks for all the great ideas! I am also glad to hear about someone Russell's age that remembers. He has a bear with his voice and a pic by his bed that he kisses. I bought DH a webcam so once he finally gets to his location hopefully we can start using that too!

lets see, I think all mine act different and go through thier own things.
Cameron is 5, and he has a really hard time expressing his feelings, he doesnt take it out on me, but he doesnt want to talk to Eric over the phone, he doesnt want to talk about him being gone.
He finds comfort in Eric's things, he wears a set of Eric's BDU's almost everyday, he has pictures everywhere in his room, he has a pair of his combat boots by his bed, so I think those things help and make him feel close to dad.
he loves drawing pictures about his feelings or writing letters to Eric.
He loves when we talk about all the good stuff, old memories, things were going to do when Eric get's back, that always cheers him up.
Im in the process of ordering customized dog tags and the flat daddies. I hope they help also.
Its hard though, becuase he holds all his feelings inside, and then one day he will just break down crying. its so hard to watch.
Now Chloe, she's 6, so she understands a little more, I havnt quite found a way to help her cope, she's just an emotional person, she likes to cry and talk about it, so that's what we do with her.

Kayley she is 8, so she understands allot, and she hates talking about her feelings, so she journals.

I also got the Elmo deployment dvd.. for me, it just made my kids more upset when Elmo's dad came back home and thiers didnt.:dunno. Ive heard mix reviews, but I thought it was okay, might be something looking into.
Sorry I cant be more help with the little one, seems mine are all grown up..lol
Kayley was 6 mos old when Eric left the first time, but he was only gone for 4 mos. and she adjusted well. and Kalib was 2, and he acted like Eric never left.
But I know a year is so much longer, but it sounds like your doing everything right and Im sure he will remember his daddy.
Sorry for the book:whew:talking

lets see, I think all mine act different and go through thier own things.
Cameron is 5, and he has a really hard time expressing his feelings, he doesnt take it out on me, but he doesnt want to talk to Eric over the phone, he doesnt want to talk about him being gone.
He finds comfort in Eric's things, he wears a set of Eric's BDU's almost everyday, he has pictures everywhere in his room, he has a pair of his combat boots by his bed, so I think those things help and make him feel close to dad.
he loves drawing pictures about his feelings or writing letters to Eric.
He loves when we talk about all the good stuff, old memories, things were going to do when Eric get's back, that always cheers him up.
Im in the process of ordering customized dog tags and the flat daddies. I hope they help also.
Its hard though, becuase he holds all his feelings inside, and then one day he will just break down crying. its so hard to watch.
Now Chloe, she's 6, so she understands a little more, I havnt quite found a way to help her cope, she's just an emotional person, she likes to cry and talk about it, so that's what we do with her.

Kayley she is 8, so she understands allot, and she hates talking about her feelings, so she journals.

I also got the Elmo deployment dvd.. for me, it just made my kids more upset when Elmo's dad came back home and thiers didnt.:dunno. Ive heard mix reviews, but I thought it was okay, might be something looking into.
Sorry I cant be more help with the little one, seems mine are all grown up..lol
Kayley was 6 mos old when Eric left the first time, but he was only gone for 4 mos. and she adjusted well. and Kalib was 2, and he acted like Eric never left.
But I know a year is so much longer, but it sounds like your doing everything right and Im sure he will remember his daddy.
Sorry for the book:whew:talking

:agree I was going to say something but I think she covered it!

Clare wears one of Andy's Dogtags around her neck everyday. And she has a pic of him and her next to her bed. She asks ALOT of questions, but for the most part she has handled it well. I also talk about him ALL the time so that she understands I haven't forgotten about him either.

She actually just got really up set at me cause we just moved and my dining room furniture hasn't arrived yet. So we are using a really tiny table that only has two chairs. OH BOY was she mad at me for not having a seat for Andy! So we pulled up a box, for him to sit at. :giggle She is always worrying that I will forget him. :dunno

I wanted to say thanks for the ideas! I am def going to use them! Any other are greatly appreciated and if anyone has experience knowing if Russell (20 mos) will remember daddy that would be great. i just want to know what to expect. They have doc appoints on Friday and I am going to discuss all this with her also to see what she thinks.

the best advice I can give you on this one- My daughter is only 17 months old. She will be almost 2 1/2 when he gets home and he hates thinking that she doesn't even know him! But the webcam thing is great! And using skype allows you to basically have a video call so he can just sit in front of the webcam and talk to her! She loves it! It really is great for this situation!