So he wants space. He says he doenst have time for our relationship right now. I think its B.S. but he is really stresed out and has so much on his plate. I don't want to call it quits.. But I will if he isn't giving me what I deserve from a relationship.

I don't ask for alot.

Right now I am paying for him to have a Vonage phone so we can talk.
On vonage, it shows you all the calls placed and recieved.. I usually dont look into his stuff like that but I know that somethings up because all of these problems have come out of no where.

I am paying for him to talk to some other girl. I think.
2 hours and 38 minutes yesterday. We talked for 5 minutes.
I really want to know who it is.
All I got from reverse lookup online that its somone in Appelton Wisconson or something random like that considering hes from Nothern Idaho.. He has no family there. And what guys talk on the phone for nearly 3 hours?


That ring is off my finger. I am done.

I dunno, i guess the best thing to do is ask him whats up...

I'd come right out and ask him.

mhm me too thats shady plus you pay for it so of course you would look at the bill:S

But he will get all pissy because I saw it on the account.
I know its like looking into his business.. but the account is in my name.. I pay for it.. al the log in info is my email etc.. He has been given the log in info but he doesn't care to ever log into the account for any reason.

exactly my point just tell him you were trying to figure out why the minutes were so high this month or something? like you said you pay it you have a right to look at it he may get mad but you need the truth

But he will get all pissy because I saw it on the account.
I know its like looking into his business.. but the account is in my name.. I pay for it.. al the log in info is my email etc.. He has been given the log in info but he doesn't care to ever log into the account for any reason.

You're paying for the account who cares if he gets pissy. I would ask who he was talking to for 3 hours. Then I would disconnect his phone & be done with him. :)

i say ask him.

as a side note... man.. i HOPE its not a girl from appleton! i love that place! ... i'd hate for it to have a bad name!!!
wisc pride yo... :D

You're paying for the account who cares if he gets pissy. I would ask who he was talking to for 3 hours. Then I would disconnect his phone & be done with him. :)


yup.. your paying for it, you have every right to look at who he is talking to! and if he gives you hell about it, tell him you were looking at the bill, minutes being used, etc.

im so sorry he is wanting to end things. :hugehug
does he now want to try at all?

Just ask him.

i agree. ask him...especially since you pay for it so it's not like you're snooping.

He says he wants to.. but he doesn't want to have any contact with me right now.

My birthday is thursday... he said he would call me then. I asked him not to because I dont want to spend the day in tears.

He said that he needed a break and space and I told that thats okay but that I was done. Soley on the fact that I have said never again so many times when hes pulled the same thing.

Hes always the one to like push our relationship further.. Just the other day he was begging again me to marry him and run away to where hes stationed.

I just dont get it, because hes always the one to freak out about needing space.hes 5,000 miles away.. i dont know how much more space he could want.

He said that he souldnt have ever promised me the things that he has becuase he knows he wont be able to follow through with it.

whatever that means

Well just because you're not "there" doesn't mean he has space. If you talk everyday and email and whatnot, you're very much there.

wow this all sounds so oddly familiar :( my exdb said the same thing to me and i didnt get it apparently talking to him every day was smothering him when i got to seem him once a month...and he called me? weird anyways :hugs i hope he tells you whats going on so you can base your decision on all the information you get

dood.. he just asked you to marry him and now he wants 'space'?

sounds to me like the boy doesnt know what he wants at all!

alot of times guys push girls away when it comes time to get married, or take a step further in their relationship.
i would give him a few days to think about it. if he was just begging you to move there with him, (and im guessing you said no?) mb he is not confident he can provide you the life you deserve? mb he is scared the reason you wont move there is b/c you aren't ready?

i agree, you should ask him. who cares if he gets his panties in a bunch over you looking at the bill that YOU pay for? he should know that you have the right to look since you pay. so i say ask him.

your paying the bills...and you were in a relationship with him
you have every right to ask. i hope you find out whats going on. and im so sorry that this has happened to you.
:hugs

I really reeeaaly want to call the number, just to see if its a girl that answers.

But he and I have the same area code (thats the point of vonage) so chances are the two of them would instantly figure it out

id be tempted too :S

theres a way to block it...*67? or something ...i cant remember:( lol i can call for you:)

hmm. block your number and call.

i totally would.

But he and I have the same area code (thats the point of vonage) so chances are the two of them would instantly figure it out



block your number!
or give me the number, ill block my number and call :)

I don't want to start shit and make it worse.
I am scared to even mention it to him.

don't be scared sweetie. you deserve to know.

besides, you have a ton of girls here who will go :kungfu on his ass.

besides, it's better to know, and risk starting shit and making him upset, than to be assuming things and never taking your mind off it.

I don't want to start shit and make it worse.
I am scared to even mention it to him.

i think you should mention it, it might not even be a girl!
you never know. sometimes i freak out about little things, and its not what i thought AT ALL!

I'd mention it to him, but I wouldn't call her. It's childish.

don't be scared sweetie. you deserve to know.

besides, you have a ton of girls here who will go :kungfu on his ass.

besides, it's better to know, and risk starting shit and making him upset, than to be assuming things and never taking your mind off it.

:yes:yes:yes:yes:yes:yes

I'd mention it to him, but I wouldn't call her. It's childish.

no need to be rude.

it's not childish. it's her finding out who her boyfriend is spending three hours on the phone with when he only talked to her for 5 minutes. it's her right since she pays the bill.

i think you should mention it, it might not even be a girl!
you never know. sometimes i freak out about little things, and its not what i thought AT ALL!

:agree

it's better to know than to assume things!

This whole thing is so stupid!!!
I am serisouly like scared to pick up the phone and call the man that i am(was) planning on marrying.

He wants space, I am trying my best. We spoke for less than a minute today.. I called him to say that it was really weird not talking to him (lol) then I asked if he was happy and all he said was that he needed to go to work.

Do you think maybe he's letting someone else use it? I know my husband shares his calling cards etc with people who don't have the funds themselves.

Do you think maybe he's letting someone else use it? I know my husband shares his calling cards etc with people who don't have the funds themselves.


hm thats a good point i knwo when xdb first got to a school a buddy of his let him use his phone to call me since his was in the mail and hadnt gotten there yet....

Do you think maybe he's letting someone else use it? I know my husband shares his calling cards etc with people who don't have the funds themselves.

that's what i was thinking, too.

so yeah, i would just bring it up to him. see what he has to say. if he won't reply to you because he "needs his space" then i would tell him you need your "closure" and that he just gave it to you...

or something like that :teehee

I dont think so..
I hadnt thought about it..

But I dont think so.

I looked at the records online.

whoever called him it was at 7:55 and it was for nearly three hours.

then its weird because the next few calls are in a weird order like the times dont go cronologically like the rest.
the next two calls are all within the three hour window, they are from me.. like he clicked over to talk to me and they are both less than a minute.
like he needed to get back to the other call.

I dont think so..
I hadnt thought about it..

But I dont think so.

I looked at the records online.

whoever called him it was at 7:55 and it was for nearly three hours.

then its weird because the next few calls are in a weird order like the times dont go cronologically like the rest.
the next two calls are all within the three hour window, they are from me.. like he clicked over to talk to me and they are both less than a minute.
like he needed to get back to the other call.

yeah, i wouldn't think he was letting other people use it for that long either. just trying to be optimistic lol.

anyways, that sounds very fishy. i really think the best thing you could do is ask him about it. and then make your decision from there, although it sounds like you've already made up your mind and just need the truth to secure it?

I dont think so..
I hadnt thought about it..

But I dont think so.

I looked at the records online.

whoever called him it was at 7:55 and it was for nearly three hours.

then its weird because the next few calls are in a weird order like the times dont go cronologically like the rest.
the next two calls are all within the three hour window, they are from me.. like he clicked over to talk to me and they are both less than a minute.
like he needed to get back to the other call.

The longer you think on it without getting any input from him, the bigger you're going to make it in your mind. And once you go there it's hard to get back.

Talk to him about it in regards to the bill.

haha.. i apprecitate the optimism..

I have a tummy ache from crying all night lol- wierd i hope i'm not the only one that has ever had that happen.

I dont know what I am going to do, BUT he bought me a ticket there for spring break.
I leave in like 68 days.. I was going to get there a few days early and have his friend get me on base so i could suprise him.

But it looks like i have a free ticket to the center of europe.... not exactly what i will do by my self.. but i'll figure it out :giggle

ohhh girl i have definitely cried like that before!!!

um how about i go to europe with you and we can backpack for spring break?!?! lol at least you got a free ticket out of it!

I was really looking forward to seeing him.. its been nearly a year since i have

I was really looking forward to seeing him.. its been nearly a year since i have

:shock wow. :hugs i'm sorry. :hugs

yeah girl they are right i would just ask him straight forward be like why do you need space is there another girl and if he gets mad at you just be like i have the right to know i mean after all you put into the relationship yo need to know if his mind is creepin elsewhere
dont eal with all this stuff if he isnt in it just as much as you are ya know
good luck hun

I know how you can find out...PM me the number...I'll call it and tell you who it belongs to.... I hate when dudes act a fool!!!:bringit:grumpy:suspect:vent:mumble

I hope you have at least confronted him about it by now! If not for anything else, for the sake of your own sanity. Sitting and stewing about it and creating more "what-ifs" than need be really isn't necessary. What's the worst that can happen? You find out he's not worth your time sooner rather than later?

Get on that ball! Don't be scared. This is YOUR life too, not soley his. Don't be taken along for a ride! Also the sooner you find something negative out, the sooner you can stop buying the extra fees for the phone! Save that money and get your nails done.

you may not like what you find out but you need to resolve this. Call the number and put it to rest. If he gets all diva about it then maybe he should have thought about those things BEFORE he became a sketch ball.

I'm a hopeless romantic. Before throwing out the ring and everything I would pray there was some reason he caled a number for over two hours. Maybe something is going on he couldn't tell you but it isn't as bad as you think?

Give him a chance. And think of an excuse for why you needed to look at the log, a billing error or something?

And if he is talking to another girl - YOU DESERVE MORE.

I would rather fight and break up with a boyfriend/fiance than to find out after vows that he's a liar and a cheater. JMO

Talk to him, find out what the deal is, and realize that if he's being shady, YOU DESERVE BETTER.

p.s. If he gets pissed that you looked at the account... YOU pay for it. You have every right. If he has stuff to hide he can pay for his own damn phone.

how are you today? have you talked to him about it?

You're paying for the account who cares if he gets pissy. I would ask who he was talking to for 3 hours. Then I would disconnect his phone & be done with him. :)

Hear hear!!! I 100% agree.

[QUOTE=mackaysgirl;1757971]I really reeeaaly want to call the number, just to see if its a girl that answers.[/QUOTE


1.Your paying for the bill.
2.You have every right to check the statement
3.I think you definetly should call and find out...

I agree with Tawny..

I don't think you should call the number. Have someone else do it for you. That way, if it isn't anything (which, personally, just from reading about this, I don't think it isn't nothing) no one will know that you called. After someone calls the number, definitely talk to him. If it was a girl that is the owner of that phone and if she gave the person who called her reason to think something is going on (then again... that would be really hard to do with a "wrong number" heh) you could find out if he's lying or not. If it isn't a girl, maybe he'd be willing to give up some information about this person and why he was on the phone for nearly 3 hours. The only true way you'll know stuff is if you ask.

Yeah! Just tell him you didn't know why you got a charge for such a long call so you looked, and now you know he's being shady!!! Ask him straight up to tell you who the heck it was. :yes

i'll call the number if want me too.....that way it's a CA number coming up on their caller ID....let me know...i'll do it!!!!!

i'm sorry this is happening! i know what it feels like :(

happy birthday week!

Definitely confront him about it, it is totally your right to do so, even if he gets pissed, it is your account, your bills and your man.. you have a least some sort of a right to know what he is up to, especially if he put that ring on your finger. And the fact that he is randomly wanting some space-that's a big indicator that something is up...

Don't call the number first-- to him, that might seem kinda snoopy. But if you confront him about it first and if he denies anything--- theeeeeenn call the number. Asking him first resembles to him that you may still have a little trust left in him.

Good Luck and let us know how it all turns out.

<3 Kathy

i don't know if anyone else suggested this or not but you could always try to block your number in case the person has caller id. or to be even more safe you could call from a payphone so if they call back, nobody will answer. but sounds fishy i would confront him first to give him a chance to tell the truth.

I really don't believe calling the number to see who it is is the way to go. This is an issue between the two IN the relationship and bringing the other girl into it is not going to resolve anything. JMO.

I hope everything works out for you sweetie...

any update?

I agree! You pay the bill. I would just ask him. But don't accuse him though. You never know! I hope things work out for you.:hugehug

any update?

No update.. No contact between the two of us at all.. And hes like been on myspace and all that.. so he's perfectly able to contact me... but on the bright side he hasnt called her either

First ask him what's going on straight up, don't even mention the phone bill. If he avoids that subject well then you can tell him that you have the proof you need on paper. If he can't argue with that because it's true then I would take your phone away from him, because it's yours.

No update.. No contact between the two of us at all.. And hes like been on myspace and all that.. so he's perfectly able to contact me... but on the bright side he hasnt called her either

well at least he hasn't called that number. maybe he's realizing in this time apart that whatever he was doing wasn't right. if he was doing anything like that, i mean. :hugs keep me posted sweetie!

No update.. No contact between the two of us at all.. And hes like been on myspace and all that.. so he's perfectly able to contact me... but on the bright side he hasnt called her either

I would take that as a good sign as well

I'm on the phone with DB.. haven't brought up the other girl. but things are going well and I don't want to ruin it.

I'm on the phone with DB.. haven't brought up the other girl. but things are going well and I don't want to ruin it.

Good luck.

I stand by the fact that I would rather fight and risk a break up than to sweep big issues under a rug to come up a year or two from now after vows have been said.

I hope it all works out the way you want it to.

I'm on the phone with DB.. haven't brought up the other girl. but things are going well and I don't want to ruin it.

really.. I'm glad things are going well. You can save it for a better time anyway.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, btw!!

Just ask him! Could you possibly feel any worse KNOWING whats going on??

Just ask him! Could you possibly feel any worse KNOWING whats going on??

I'd have to ask. To hell with worry about his feelings........he wasn't worried about your's if he was chatting it up with another honey. I would call if I had the number...maybe the poor girl has NO idea he's engaged?? No need to explain anything, he's the one to say "I need space". Love is compromise and communication. He's stressed? He's supposed to share that with you and work thru it.

Please don't be played. :no If someone asks you to marry him he is supposed to have figured out YOU are the one and only.....not get engaged then try to decide if the "grass is greener" on the other side. :thinking

You are playing by his rules and it sounds as if you'll be stuck not only with a phone bill but also with a cheater.......Find someone who will appreciate you and love you.

I'm with the rest of them, ask him, if it were me I wouldn't even beat around the bush...and it is your business if you pay the bill. I'm sorry you have to deal with this

I'd have to ask. To hell with worry about his feelings........he wasn't worried about your's if he was chatting it up with another honey. I would call if I had the number...maybe the poor girl has NO idea he's engaged?? No need to explain anything, he's the one to say "I need space". Love is compromise and communication. He's stressed? He's supposed to share that with you and work thru it.

Please don't be played. :no If someone asks you to marry him he is supposed to have figured out YOU are the one and only.....not get engaged then try to decide if the "grass is greener" on the other side. :thinking

You are playing by his rules and it sounds as if you'll be stuck not only with a phone bill but also with a cheater.......Find someone who will appreciate you and love you.

:yes

Perhaps he let a friend borrow his phone to talk to their SO. Just a thought?

exactly my point just tell him you were trying to figure out why the minutes were so high this month or something? like you said you pay it you have a right to look at it he may get mad but you need the truth

agreed!!! tell him that the minutes were high or you had an extra charge so you looked at the detailed bill...he will be so busy back tracking or explaining himself to get mad at you...and if he is doing something like that wouldn't you like to know now?!? before you waste your time!! Good luck!!! :hugehug

I'm on the phone with DB.. haven't brought up the other girl. but things are going well and I don't want to ruin it.

Don't hold back on bringing up what is important to you. Even if things are going well, you are still hurting, and you don't deserve that. That boy has some explaining to do, and you'll feel better once you know what's going on. Do it for yourself. It's your right to know.

i would just ask him about it.

i dont know a whoole lot of guys who like to talk on the phone for 3 hours..

and if my DB does, he usually is just breathing in the phone while i jap my jaw.


i mean. i dont know. i would just ask.. :confused

I would probably call the number, then tell him I called it. :lol I would definitely ask him straight up whats going on. YOUR paying for it! :duh If it was just a normal case of snooping, I wouldnt suggest it. But damn girl, your spending your money on this. You have EVERY right to know whats up. Keep us updated, and good luck!

ouch, i'm sorry for you...guess what who gives a fuck if he gets "pissy" u pay for phone, even if you didn't you have a right to know the truth......GoodLuck!

so what happened? i think we have all become wrapped up in your story and want things to work out for you, whether that be finding out that he was letting someone else use his phone (my fingers are crossed) or that he's not worth your time. you should give the number to someone here (myself included) because i would want to know if it were me. (and i'm a really good detective:ziplip)
good luck!!!!

I agree with everyone else... if you're paying the bill, you have the right to know! If it were me, and I thought my DF was talking with someone else other then me and his family - on my dime, I'd shut off the phone and be done with him. That is unless he could give me a good, believable, explanation as to what he was up too.

so what happened?