Is it true that if you stay with your bf while he's in bootcamp and some time after, you will most likely be together forever? Someone told me military girlfriends become military wives. How true do you think that is?

Ehh. i'm doubting it all now.
i wish it..but i doubt it.

Same as in civilian life. I think it's just a job that has different catalysts when it comes to staying together or not.

No, I think it's bullshit. Sorry, but I do. You can stick with a guy through hell and highwater, see someone else posting comments on his myspace and break up with him in a jealous fit. He can cheat on you. You can cheat on him. The military, through years of deployments, moves, separation, and thriving on Murphy's Law, can wear you down to breaking up. If you do get married, you're not immune to fights and you might get divorced. A 50+% divorce rate doesn't exactly have your back.

Surviving bootcamp does not a marriage make, sorry.

I think the reason why people may say that is because being apart is a huge strain on any relationship, and weak relationships won't be able to make it.

No... not always....

Same as in civilian life. I think it's just a job that has different catalysts when it comes to staying together or not.

:agree

I wouldn't bet my house on it. :shrug

Relationships are a constant job. You either work at it or you don't, regardlesss.

DH didn't marry the girl he was with in high school and through boot camp. They broke up.

I think the reason why people may say that is because being apart is a huge strain on any relationship, and weak relationships won't be able to make it.

What she said :)

Bootcamp is tough, and if you make it through, maybe you've got it in you to make it through everything else.

Then again, maybe deployment will be too much.

I dunno, I'm an optimist (L)

My dh was with his gf at the time he was in bootcamp, they soon broke up afterwards.

Meh. Bootcamp is nothing once deployments hit.

It's all in how you handle separation, how you work at relationships and communication, and (some of it) how tough you are. But we're all tougher than we think. Surviving bootcamp is a good first step (I know it seemed hellacious when DB went through it), but it certainly doesn't guarantee marriage or being together forever. It's just like everything else, sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't.

Just because you make it through bootcamp doesn't mean one day you'll marry him... he may find somebody else as you might also. Also, not to be rude but obviously military girlfriends become military wives :shrug We all started out as girlfriends at some point in the relationship. :shrug Maybe I read it wrong but that was a strange question. Like the others have said, deployment is way harder than bootcamp is to deal with (not to mention a heck of a lot longer) so just because you make it through one doesn't mean you'll go all the way with him.

i was with my exdb for like two yeares before basic through basic and eight months of AIT...so it really depends on your situation...

I don't believe that. Bootcamp is a lot shorter than deployments so the argument that being away from eachother and making it through means something, is kind of mute.

What she said :)

Bootcamp is tough, and if you make it through, maybe you've got it in you to make it through everything else.

Then again, maybe deployment will be too much.

I dunno, I'm an optimist (L)

Bootcamp is really nothing compared to a real deployment.

Bootcamp is really nothing compared to a real deployment.

What Caimbrie said - It's infinitely longer and filled with more worries.

Bootcamp is the first hurdle, a tiny one.

I hope you guys make it.

i don't know i was with my DH in high school and through boot camp we are still together but i don't think its cause we have been together for so long its had its ups and downs but being in the military makes it challenging but i do think that through it all boot camp was the hardest and i am on my 4th deployment and 3rd command.

well, I went through bootcamp with my baby, and now we're engaged :) lol. So I think it can be true.

My cousin's girl stayed with him through bootcamp then cheated on him while he was in iraq.

I think that isnt true..Shit happens..Bootcamp is definately nothing compared to going through a deployment with your SO.You can make it through many things but it doesnt mean you will stay together after its over.

Nick and I were together for 3 years before he joined the navy. We stayed together for 1 1/2 years while he was IN the Navy before we broke up.

I don't believe that comment at all. You are either going to make things work, or you aren't. Surviving boot camp is just the beginning.

i do think that through it all boot camp was the hardest and i am on my 4th deployment and 3rd command.

Wow, that's really surprising. What, in your experience, made bootcamp harder to go through than a deployment?

Nick and I were together for 3 years before he joined the navy. We stayed together for 1 1/2 years while he was IN the Navy before we broke up.

I don't believe that comment at all. You are either going to make things work, or you aren't. Surviving boot camp is just the beginning.

:( i hate hearing that because my boyfriend's name is nick too :(

Wow, that's really surprising. What, in your experience, made bootcamp harder to go through than a deployment?

the lack of communication my DH is on a surface ship so i can e mail him and he can call, i don't have to worry if he fails a test its going to set his whole cruise back a week and that is one more week until see him. in boot camp, i was stressed about when we were getting paid, and missing a phone call cause it could be the only one he gets i know on a cruise they are going to port more than once and he can call more than once and i will get more than one e mail a week from him. in boot camp all we had was letters i had no idea what was going on and what he was going through, he didn't want to worry me so his letters were always upbeat. on cruise we have the family support group, i have friends i have a general idea of what is going on with the ship in general and he e mails me daily and calls me everytime he knows the phones are up and from every port. i know now where to go if something is wrong when he was in boot camp i had NO idea and we weren't near any bases. i just felt very much in the dark with bootcamp. and on cruise i don't. this is my 4th 6month + surface deployment. now for submariners wives its not that way they probably heard from their SO's more in boot camp than when they are on cruise. i was so worried my DH would get in trouble in boot camp and while he is on cruise i don't worry about that, because he is well older and smarter now than he was at 18. i also think that work ups are worse cruises as well. if he has to be gone be gone don't be in and out in for a weekend gone for 2.5 weeks than gone another week in for a weekend and gone for a month. just go and be gone let me get into my routine.

It all depends on your relationship...

It all depends on your relationship...

you are absolutely right it really does depend on the people 110% but getting through boot camp is an acomplishment none the less nothing means your going to stay together forever marriages and relationships fall apart because they fall apart, sometimes there is someone to blame sometimes there isn't. don't bank on it lasting forever because you got through boot camp or even a few deployments its always going to take work.

My cousin's girl stayed with him through bootcamp then cheated on him while he was in iraq.

That is so terrible. I hate hearing that stuff. How can someone do that??

Just because you make it through bootcamp doesn't mean one day you'll marry him... he may find somebody else as you might also. Also, not to be rude but obviously military girlfriends become military wives :shrug We all started out as girlfriends at some point in the relationship. :shrug Maybe I read it wrong but that was a strange question. Like the others have said, deployment is way harder than bootcamp is to deal with (not to mention a heck of a lot longer) so just because you make it through one doesn't mean you'll go all the way with him.

:agree I also think that the fact that in boot they are in a controlled environment. on deployment there are no "rules".

It's all up to the individuals and the couple!

the lack of communication my DH is on a surface ship so i can e mail him and he can call, i don't have to worry if he fails a test its going to set his whole cruise back a week and that is one more week until see him. in boot camp, i was stressed about when we were getting paid, and missing a phone call cause it could be the only one he gets i know on a cruise they are going to port more than once and he can call more than once and i will get more than one e mail a week from him. in boot camp all we had was letters i had no idea what was going on and what he was going through, he didn't want to worry me so his letters were always upbeat. on cruise we have the family support group, i have friends i have a general idea of what is going on with the ship in general and he e mails me daily and calls me everytime he knows the phones are up and from every port. i know now where to go if something is wrong when he was in boot camp i had NO idea and we weren't near any bases. i just felt very much in the dark with bootcamp. and on cruise i don't. this is my 4th 6month + surface deployment. now for submariners wives its not that way they probably heard from their SO's more in boot camp than when they are on cruise. i was so worried my DH would get in trouble in boot camp and while he is on cruise i don't worry about that, because he is well older and smarter now than he was at 18. i also think that work ups are worse cruises as well. if he has to be gone be gone don't be in and out in for a weekend gone for 2.5 weeks than gone another week in for a weekend and gone for a month. just go and be gone let me get into my routine.

That makes sense I guess. With my husband being on a sub, I've gone longer without hearing from him or talking to him on a deployment than i would have during bootcamp.

I don't think it sways a relationship one way or another any more than anything else.

I agree with JoyS and Sarah.

Relationships are a constant job. You either work at it or you don't, regardlesss.

I don't think it sways a relationship one way or another any more than anything else.


I agree. If anything, just the fact that your SO is military makes it more likely that it won't work. Not you in particular, just statistically.

Don't base your relationship on a military stereotype, every relationship is different.

:thinking

I hoping because me and my man have been together for six years. We have been to hell and back more then one time.

http://img244.imageshack.us/img244/719/glitteryourwayd4847066ss8.gif (http://www.glitteryourway.com)

That makes sense I guess. With my husband being on a sub, I've gone longer without hearing from him or talking to him on a deployment than i would have during bootcamp.



i am one of the few that would rather just do an extended cruise than work ups. i hated A school too i was so worried he was going to get into trouble he was hanging out with the wrong people and kinda lost that respect he had gained in boot camp. i was so GLAD when he got out of A school and to the ship and around different people. at one point he would do just about anything to fit in he was always quite and shy and soft spoken and when he joined the navy and became more outgoing i was concerned. i guess the whole time he was in great lakes was bad for us LOL i would so rather do a cruise than boot camp or school again but his school was one of thos 6 month plus ones as well lol. not to mention you get paid more on a cruise than in boot camp so that sometimes helps soften the blow of the news too.:D

I am not sure, it really depends on the people involved in the relationship. I know deployments are harder than bootcamp although i have never been through one, but getting through boot camp alone, in my opinion, is a big step. I think if you both want it to work then it will, no matter if he is military or if he was a civilian.