don't tell me not to send it. It is totally being sent. I need this for me. I am throwing him away, mailing him away, boxing him away, you get it. 2 years later, it's about time I got rid of him.

anyway, here is the letter I wrote (it is going with a poster I bought him before the split that I never sent)

I know you will really think I am pathetic, I mean 2 years, that is a long time, it is ridiculous of me. I KNOW. BUT writing the letter helped, I think sending it will help even more. I should be over it, 2 years, wow, yeah I should be way over it. But the thing is, he was there for me when my sister died, he was there for me when my dad was a major alcoholic. he was there for me when I started college, he has always been there for me in the big things. now, I am experiencing new big things and he is in my mind, constantly, I need him gone. For some reason I think if I mail this poster, it will be like mailing him away.

just needed to get that out, I wanted someone to read it. the copy he is getting is handwritten. I just typed this out for you guys..

john.
wow, writing to you- & sending it. I did not think we would ever see this moment again. two years post breakup & there are still reminders of you all over this joint. I got an apartment at school so I went through my room at home. I threw a lot away. I kept all the elephant stuff- it is boxed so I don't have to see it, well except the poster you gave me for my 17th birthday. That is still on the wall, and you're still framed in that black & white and color thing I made w/ all pics of [insert little sister's name here]. It is small, so I didn't worry about it. Anyway, the point is I am mailing you this poster. I got it for you 2 yrs ago & I don't need it, it is yours, I want you to have it.
so many things are happening lately & for some reason everywhere I turn there is a memory of you. I am sure you are making fun of me by now, but my life is finally something okay with me & I cannot have you fucking it up.
I know you probably NEVER even think of me, but you are lucky not to live in our hometown.

here is the poster. I am mostly happy. I am graduating early. [little sister's name] will be 17 in two weeks. I can drive stick. My grades are better, much better. I left Brandon- well it's over, it was an I left, I went back, it fizzled out type thing. My apartment is in a house built in 1920. I love it. you would be proud of me these days.

thanks for everything, really. enjoy the poster
ashley

:goodvibes

I think it's a good idea, and a well written letter. :hugs

:goodvibes

I think it's a good idea, and a well written letter. :hugs

I agree it's a well written letter, nothing bad about it.

your so awesome sweety:yesgood job:tu:D

great letter...good for closure!!!

great closure letter!!!

great letter and i think you definitely got closure.

Good for you! I hope that gives you closure!! We all need that!

i agree with everyone :thumbsup

Goodness gracious, you're a strong girl.
I'm so proud of you for writing that, and it's so well worded!!!
He's gona be like...wooaahhh! :D
Tell us if he writes back, mk? :yes
:hugehug

How do you even have his address if its been so long?

That's a great letter and you should definitely send it. I'm glad you got your closure. Keep being strong. :)

If it makes you feel better to get it all out, then go for it.

:shake

Good for you! I hope that gives you closure!! We all need that!

:agree

Amen to closure!!!! Its so important in life

he won't write back, i am not giving him my new address. i dont want to hear from him again, think of him again, anything.

How do you even have his address if its been so long?

He is still in the same duty station.

his mother calls me obsessively still, also. so I know it is the same address.

I know EXACTLY how you feel about needing the closure. Sometimes it helps just to know that it's going to be read. Good job! :hugs