....my DB and I are now broken up....he says that he doesn't want to talk to anyone and that he doesn't want to ask anyone to wait for him while he's gone. I'm at a loss for words.

...a friend of mine left this for me today, and it speaks volumes. For all those, like me, who are going through this...maybe this will help.

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning,
And company doesn't mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And that presents aren't promises;
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, and not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your garden and decorate your soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers,
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong,
And you really do have worth.
-Unknown

I love that poem. I read it years ago and I have it written down somewhere. I know you're hurting right now but try and stay positive. I went through a similar situation. Justin broke up with me right before he deployed saying he wanted to focus on the Army and couldn't do the long distance thing. It was so out of the blue and felt so wrong. I never gave up on him. I send him cards, emails, and care packages. It took three months but he finally wrote me back.
If you are hopeful and love him don't give up. Don't put your life on hold but don't force yourself to move on either. Good luck to you and PM me anytime!

This is his first deployment. All sorts of crazy things are going through his head right now. Give him this space, but don't necessarily give up on him either.

I was prepared for the emotional withdrawal and I think I have been really patient...and unfortunately, this is his third deployment (first with me)...so I guess I had different expectations.

:hugs

I was prepared for the emotional withdrawal and I think I have been really patient...and unfortunately, this is his third deployment (first with me)...so I guess I had different expectations.

One of my coworkers, her bf wouldn't seriously commit to her until after he did a work up and she handled it ok because his wife left him while he was out one time.

The horror stories are out there.

I absolutely LOVE that poem. I have had a copy since I was like 10, lol. The original is just like that except at the bottom it says
After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning,
And company doesn't mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And that presents aren't promises;
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, and not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your garden and decorate your soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers,
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong,
And you really do have worth.
And you learn
And you learn
With every good-bye
You learn...

(L) it!!

Sweetie, I am so sorry. You know I am always here for you!