I was watching True Life on MTV last night and it was about people who have friends with benefits. I was just wondering if you agree or disagree with people having that kind of relationship. I know a few of my ex db's would have loved to have stayed FWB, but I just couldn't do it. What about you?

It can and it can't- depends on what kind of 'benefits'. I had one for a while but nothing beyond making out and he knew the rules. Anything else I think to much gets involved but to each his own IMO.

Personally I could never be in that type of situation. Could it work for others? Possibly. I think feelings would get in the way sooner or later by either or both parties involved.

If you are a single and not looking for a committment, then sure, why not. I don't see the harm in it as long as each person is truely single and its a mutually agreed upon friends with benefits arrangement between them.

What sort of benefits do you mean?

NO!!!!!!!!!!

Someone always ends up developing feelings and getting hurt, even if both parties try their best to just do sex. You cant have "just sex" a lot.

What sort of benefits do you mean?

Benefits = sex.

I think it's crazy. I'm way too emotional and think sex is fine within the confines of a committed relationship. Otherwise I would be a mess with all of the emotions involved.

No. They DO NOT work. One will inevitably care more for the other and someone will get hurt. It's a nice theory, but it's a terrible truth.

NO, absolutely not.

No. They DO NOT work. One will inevitably care more for the other and someone will get hurt. It's a nice theory, but it's a terrible truth.

:agree

sometimes...

I think if you can do it then go for it!!!
But, for myself personally? I know I'd either end up developing feelings or vice versa...and somebody would get hurt and I'd feel like a slut!!! :lol

I've done FWB and it NEVER worked. Either he got attached to me and I wanted nothing to do with them or I got attached to them and they wanted nothing to do with me.

It can work for a short period of time but in the end someone ALWAYS gets hurt

It depends. When DH and I broke up we said we'd try it. And i showed up and i couldn't go through with it. I loved him and that wasn't how i wanted things to be. And luckily I didn't, because instead of having hot carefree sex, we got into a huge deep conversation about what may have went wrong and how we were both willing to work it out.

But i guess if you didn't have deep feelings for them it could work. Something to tide you over.

I voted other cause I'm really not sure. :arg

Nope, I dont think they work, they may last for a while, but I've never seen a situation where it ended well!

I couldn' tdo it no. But there are people who can and there is nothing wrong with that. I disagree with it IN MY LIFE but not in other's.

If you are a single and not looking for a committment, then sure, why not. I don't see the harm in it as long as each person is truely single and its a mutually agreed upon friends with benefits arrangement between them.

Exactly.
I couldn't do it. I'd get WAY to emotionally invested.

i voted disagree. i've been in those situations. it never works out. or at least, it hasn't for me. someone always gets the wrong idea or gets more feelings. or you can't become just strictly friends after that. i :dunno that's just my experience with it.

Eh, okay, I'll throw myself under the bus. I had a friend with benefits after my divorce for about 6 months and it was kinda nice. But he was also my go-to guy friend who took me to the movies every month or so and slept over platonically after I got mugged because I was afraid to be by myself. Just an all around nice guy, just not "dating" or "marriage" material, for me at least.

But in all honesty, I think it's about the only guy I dated that I could've had that relationship with, every other one it would've been me too emotionally invested or him. So yeah, most of the time, that doesn't work.

Someone almost always gets hurt in these situations. I couldn't do it because I get emotionally attached to people quickly.

If you're in relationship with someone else, I think that it is just a lame excuse to get some action. If you're not in a relationship it's just a lack of commitment and still lame.

I was watching True Life on MTV last night and it was about people who have friends with benefits. I was just wondering if you agree or disagree with people having that kind of relationship. I know a few of my ex db's would have loved to have stayed FWB, but I just couldn't do it. What about you?
I was watching it too last night. The girl that lived in NY looked like a fool chasing after that guy. He clearly was not interested. He said in the beginning that he would rather be with her than be alone. Thats crazy!!

they work over short periods of time, before feelings develop, and before one friend starts seeing someone else.

no way someone always ends up with feelings that get in the way or ruin things or make it akward

No. They DO NOT work. One will inevitably care more for the other and someone will get hurt. It's a nice theory, but it's a terrible truth.

:agree

No it doesn't work...I've actually tried it...but it didn't work because he ended up getting feelings for me

I disagree with them. I think inevitably someone will get emotionally involved and get hurt. Plus, I place more value on sex that that.

I was watching True Life on MTV last night and it was about people who have friends with benefits. I was just wondering if you agree or disagree with people having that kind of relationship. I know a few of my ex db's would have loved to have stayed FWB, but I just couldn't do it. What about you?

I wouldn't do it but if thats what works for 2 other people, than that's their biznas. They both would just need to be using protection and understand where the "relationship" lies- just in sex & friends.

I couldn't and I don't think many can do it. Just to many emotions attached.

For me personally, no. I have never slept with anyone that I did not have deep feelings for. I just couldn't. To each their own. But, this situation would definitely not work out for me.

i have had them and they worked but it isn't anything i would want long term

Nope. Cause someone would get their feelings hurt when the other one is out screwing someone else cause they are NOT in a committed relationship.

Benefits = sex.

I think it's crazy. I'm way too emotional and think sex is fine within the confines of a committed relationship. Otherwise I would be a mess with all of the emotions involved.

ITA

I voted other. I can't answer since me and my dh started out as friends with benefits

I mean in rare instances it works, but most times it ends with drama, and who needs drama? Not me thank you very much!

It never works out.
someone always ends up getting emotionally involved.

I have never been in those sort of situations, I'd just feel so used and feel like I should be more than that to some guy. I've never seen anything positive come from them, just bitterness.

I think it depends. I had one for about a year. I didn't develop any feelings for him and he didn't for me. We're still friends today. We don't hang out or anything, but every now and then I'll get an email from him.

I have no idea because I've never had one :shrug

i had a friend with benefits before hubby and it just doesnt work someone always ends up developing feelings and getting hurt

i've done it and i've been hurt...i always wanted more, and hoped that it would turn into something, but it never did...oh well...now i got DF! :)

IMO it never works, I have had a few in the past and one way or another someone always gets there feelings hurt. Cause usually one person is liking the other person more then it should go... speaking from experience I say It doesnt work.

I think they CAN work. Not with an ex, that would be too much history and such.

But, even if one was to develop more feelings for the other it could still work. I mean, I will admit I have had a benefriend (not for sex, we just messed around). He was one of my best friends and it worked for a long time, over a year.

Then, when I started seeing someone else, he got really hurt. I think he thought there was more too it. But, it still WORKED for a year. And now we are really great friends still. So yeah, I think you have to know when they have run their course.

yes, i have had 2. one did turn into my husband.

I think if you both go in with absolutely no expectations and no want to be in any form of a relationship it can work. Post divorce I had one, it lasted for several months until I was finally ready for a real relationship. I told him that and that I did not want it with him and we mutually ended it. I think it may take a certain type of personality to deal with it though. :shrug

I think it just depends on the situation. I have seen it work but for the most part no because one or the other ends up developing feelings.

I think it doesn't work for most women. I think most men can do it though, and I certainly had several relationships of this type with absolutely no problems. For me, the key to maintaining these relationships is to have several of them at once. I was single for 3 years after the traumatic end of my last relationship, and because I didn't want any men making promises to me (yet I did want sex), a FWB situation was right for me. I had two regular partners for the entire time I was single, and I still hang out with one of them without the sexual sleepover now. In fact, DB knows him pretty well now. In fact, I'm going to his house for a Superbowl party, and because it's a school night, and he lives two hours from my house, but only half an hour from my school I'm spending the night on the futon. He's got a DG now, so my DB feels very comfortable with this.

I had other FWB buddies over the three years (besides the two steady ones), and they all still call to see if I'm single and want to come over. I've had my numbers too long to change them now (ten years for both home and cell numbers), and DB knows how traumatized I am by infidelity, and that he can trust me to be loyal regardless of who calls or how I used to know them.

FWB can absolutely work. You just have to divide your time so you don't get attached.

I think if you both go in with absolutely no expectations and no want to be in any form of a relationship it can work. Post divorce I had one, it lasted for several months until I was finally ready for a real relationship. I told him that and that I did not want it with him and we mutually ended it. I think it may take a certain type of personality to deal with it though. :shrug

ITA. In the past, I have been somewhat of a "emotionally unavailable" person, therefore FWB were perfect for me. I have always been a "guys girl" in the sense I get along with dudes better than chicks. I am also able to view sex like men do (well, in the past I was. May feel different now), so it wasn't a big deal for me. Men do it all the time, as long as you are "safe", why not?

ITA. In the past, I have been somewhat of a "emotionally unavailable" person, therefore FWB were perfect for me. I have always been a "guys girl" in the sense I get along with dudes better than chicks. I am also able to view sex like men do (well, in the past I was. May feel different now), so it wasn't a big deal for me. Men do it all the time, as long as you are "safe", why not?

I agree 100%. I had severel FWB prior to meeting my DH. We did not have emotional attachment issues, and when it was time to end the relationship we were both able to move on without problems. I think it just depends on where you are at in your life and what works for you at the time.

No. They DO NOT work. One will inevitably care more for the other and someone will get hurt. It's a nice theory, but it's a terrible truth.

:agree

I've done FWB and it NEVER worked. Either he got attached to me and I wanted nothing to do with them or I got attached to them and they wanted nothing to do with me.

It can work for a short period of time but in the end someone ALWAYS gets hurt

:yes

I went with the other option here. I think that every person is different in a situation like that. I think that it can for some people and some people should certainly not do it at all. It all depends on how it starts and expectations going in.

Not really. It's almost impossible to separate emotions from sex, especially for women. If someone can make it work, good for them. I just think that most people would have issue with it eventually.

I dunno, I haven't ever done it.. LOL

It would never have worked with me only because my feelings would have gotten in the way.

It can work... I've had a couple and they turned out just fine.

I don't think that it would work in any way with me. If I'm gonna be doing things with someone, it's gonna be someone that I am envolved with in a relationship of more than just friends. Plus... you start getting into issues of if one gets int a relationship and things like that. It just wouldn't work out for me!

I could never do it...and it would never work because someone is bound to get feelings..I watched the true life on this as well...nope didn't work :D

I've done it, and always someone got their feelings hurt. The last guy I "dated" before dh was one of these situations, and while I was fine with it, he didn't know how to deal. I didn't want a relationship... but a womans got needs! And I figured if we were only sleeping with each other, it'd be fine. Plus, it was fun. But he got too attached and it ended up a bit of a mess. Too bad.

I think it depends on the person and their situation.Before Db,I did the whole "friends with benefits" thing for four years with the same guy.If either of us dated someone,it would stop.It worked for us,since he was one of my best friends and we both knew each other well and knew we wouldn't want to date each other.But from what I've seen with other people, someone always starts to have feelings and ends up getting hurt.So I think it can work,but most of the time it doesn't.