View Full Version : Best Horoscopes Ever.


Del
02-02-2008, 10:13 PM
Ah, the mocking!

AQUARIUS

Even in the best of circumstances there are bound to be situations so damned complicated that you would swear you’d never get out of the mess you’ve made. Especially when you are lacking the drive and energy, physically or psychologically just to get out of bed in the morning. You search in vain for some goal, some reason, but sometimes it’s hard to find. Ironically, somehow you always figure out how to rediscover your purpose to keep going. There exists at the base of all human beings , however, that one magical, little seed of vitality. It’s like an ember beneath the coals which eventually ignites your fire once again. It is always there, although sometimes buried under the problems we face every day. It’s really a spiritual force we all have, maybe an idea of mission or purpose, be it personal or professional ,that puts us back in shape in spite of whatever problems or illness that seek to weaken us. This month with the New Moon between Chiron and Neptune you have to fight this weird undiagnosable weakness and turn it into vitality. When you do that , that vitality will help you find your higher purpose. It will not only get you out of bed but will lift you far above the things that bug you day in and day out . Will loved ones think you’ve gone completely bonkers? Of course they will, but for an Aquarian, that’s half the fun.



ARIES

You’ll be tooling around with more energy and verve than you’ve had in months. Mentally your mind should be zooming at a pace faster than thought. Despite your noble aspirations to serve humanity, you have no truck with idiots OR bosses who squeeze you. And you’ll scream bloody murder if they try. And they are going to.

Can you come and go as you please?

TAURUS

You have a great goal to make a significant statement to the world and be recognized for it. That is noble and healthy. Nothing wrong with it. Plus, you are newly recharged to make some real money. That’s good, too. One thing is sure: You will certainly have to leave home to accomplish anything.



GEMINI

Many Geminis are hopping mad. They feel like wild animals who have been made to perform stupid pet tricks to get fed and now they want to bite the hand that feeds them. Evolved Geminis, however, are just enlivened and eager for spring to arrive in the Northern Hemisphere so they can get the hell out of the house.

CANCER
Although you may not want to discuss it, you have to be way more sensitive and polite to other people, and in business, conscious of the competition. You’re tied up financially up the wazoo. Even though it would be more comfortable to think it’s all about money, though, there are sexual implications to the whole thing.



LEO

Besides work and money, the big news is The Relationship. Can you admit that it sustains you and you can’t live without it? That’s hard because, the people you attract come with a ridiculous amount emotional baggage that accompanies them because of their own wounds. As if you didn’t have yours.



VIRGO

Virgos are always such good, little soldiers. They are able to dress their own injuries and carry on about their business, performing their duties, mainly because they are so inspired with a sense of mission. That’s wonderful, except from now on you have other things you have to do: Show love honestly and be healthy enough to do it.

LIBRA

The secure scene you have cherished–should you hold on to it or let it go? It’s a question with no simple answer right now. You have fallen deeply madly irretrievably (maybe stupidly) in love. So do you go for the shred of security you’ve created or let the madness of the heart rule? Blame it on Aquarius.

SCORPIO

Oh, that darling family of yours. If you wrote a book about them, everyone would think it was a science fiction novel about creatures from a galaxy far, far away. Who could make that stuff up? And because of them (or thanks to them) you have the most mixed up, complicated emotional configuration imaginable.

SAGITTARIUS

Trying to juggle a public life you can’t seem to let go of while attending to the more personal matters that actually mean oodles more to you is hard, especially when the money thing has to be top of the list. Being grown up is hard, just as your parents promised it would be.

CAPRICORN

A new era has now dawned in your life, and while it will probably take several months to relize you have to turn your back on your whole old life, eventually you must. For now, turn your attention to to balancing your checkbook, which in itself is hysterically funny, considering.


PISCES
Try not to drive yourself nuts over relationship issues that require patience not minpulation. And you don’t have to turn to substance abuse either. It’s more of a Higher Power thing you need right now. What might help is to redo your whole place and give it a good cleaning. It needs it.

mccutched
02-02-2008, 10:24 PM
lol i'm a tuarus .... i do want money just got hired at wal-mart and i can't wait till i move into alb and out of my dads lol it's funny

fridaynightgirl
02-02-2008, 10:34 PM
LOLZ - those are hilarious - I'm a capricorn and I never balance my checkbook. It's all online. So, I laughed at mine! Seriously! Thanks for sharing.

Del
02-02-2008, 10:40 PM
Yeah, I lmao'ed, 'cos my DB is a Virgo and I'm a Scorpio and it was soooo on and lmao.

rcwant2be
02-02-2008, 10:58 PM
CANCER
Although you may not want to discuss it, you have to be way more sensitive and polite to other people, and in business, conscious of the competition. You’re tied up financially up the wazoo. Even though it would be more comfortable to think it’s all about money, though, there are sexual implications to the whole thing.


me & db

jen1982
02-02-2008, 11:45 PM
Bahahaha!