Earlier last month I went out with a guy friend from work and I got really tipsy and kissed him. I confessed to my BF bc I couldn't stand the guilt and he seemed ok with it which seemed too farfetched. A couple weeks later he is acting different and doesn't want to say I love u and is acting like a jerk and I start feeling like crap. We break up and then make up a couple times. He confesses to me that he really isn't ok with the incident and admits to being really hurt. I understand him and I feel better that he is being honest with me bc he NEVER tells me how he feels about the problems we have he just ignores them hangs up the phone and calls me when he thinks I'm over them :reallymad

He calls me today and the conversation turns sour. It ends with him telling me that bc I kissed that guy he no longer sees me the same way and that he doesn't even love me the same either and that he needs time to get over this. I understand that he needs time but what I don't understand is that he is letting this get in btwn us a lil too much. I don't understand why he cant see that I did not kiss that guy bc I like him only bc I was tipsy and really depressed bc I missed my bf so much and wanted him to come home and did something stupid to find comfort, does that make sense? I mean everyone has a weak point and I just met mine but I did not sleep with the guy only kissed him. I guess he didn't expect this from me but being away from him and being apart for so long has really put a strain in our relationship. :tears I just don't know why he is willing to throw all of this away for something so insignificant. It makes me feel like there is an underlying reason and is using this as an excuse to break up with me. But I don't want to break up bc I still love him the same and much more. We were planning to get married :sadeyes

I guess sometimes u don't want to break up but u have to bc its for the best but I really wish we could work things out and it just sux that he doesn't love me anymore. He used to tell me that I was the most important thing in his world and that he loved me more than his own family bc I've been so supportive more than his own family. How could this happened? Why doesn't he love me anymore? Was it so bad what I did that he stopped loving me? It hurts so much. I never imagined that he could ever stop loving me. It hurts to know that I love him and he can't love me back even when I have sacrifised so much for him. This isn't easy for me I just wish I could turn back time and.... :tears :unlove

You may think that it's insignificant, but to him it probably hurts like a mofo.

Some pains don't just disappear overnight, kwim?

It's not insignificant to him. It's a big deal (you kissing someone). That might be what's bothering him. The fact you just want him to get over it. It might not mean shit to you but it means something to him and who are you to just expect him to get over it. He just might feel like he can't be true to his feelings.

You may think that it's insignificant, but to him it probably hurts like a mofo.

Talk to him and give him some time, if he is willing to work through it.

i completely agree.

i completely agree.

threadjack

I edited my post after you quoted it :spank to me.

You may think that it's insignificant, but to him it probably hurts like a mofo.

Some pains don't just disappear overnight, kwim?

It's not insignificant to him. It's a big deal (you kissing someone). That might be what's bothering him. The fact you just want him to get over it. It might not mean shit to you but it means something to him and who are you to just expect him to get over it. He just might feel like he can't be true to his feelings.

:yes:yes:yes

It's not insignificant no matter how much you want it to be. It's not HIS fault, that YOU messed up. He shouldn't have to suffer the consequences of your weakness. I mean really, if you kissed a guy this time....what happens next time when you're "seeking comfort"?

Step up, own what you did and quit trying to find a way to blame him. How would you feel if the tables were turned? I'm thinking not so great.

When trust gets broken...there really isn't much left.

He hasn't stopped loving u, he's just hurt.he feels betrayed by you and you were the person he trusted the most. I would sugest you talk to him and tell him that you are going to give him his space but that you will be there for him always.tell him how you feel and respect him. He'll see you as being mature and deeply sorry for what you did. Whats meant to be will always find a way.

I agree with the other ladies. You are the one that messed up and I'm sorry but kissing another guy is wrong and being tipsy is not a good excuse. He has every right to be upset I know I would be. You will just have to deal with whatever he does and stop making excuses because what you did was wrong. He has every right to feel the way he does and take as long as he needs to get over it IF he ever does get over it. If you two don't make it don't blame him for feeling the way he does blame yourself.

i agree with the others on this, he is hurt and upset that you kissed another guy. no one is perfect and people make mistakes everyday but he may need time with this. he may look at this as cheating, even tho you know there wasn't going anywhere with this other guy.

Some of u are being really quick to judge. I am not making excuses I know I messed up and I clearly stated that I know he needs time. I know I have to deal with the consequences otherwise I would not have told him what happened. I just feel like he is letting all his friends influence him. He pretty much told everyone he could possibly know what happened and everyone started calling me a slut and a bitch and I just don't see how they can judge me when, according to the stories my Bf has told me about his friends, they are cheating on their wives while they are away. I know I messed up and I was wrong when I said it was insignificant bc it isn't, I didn't proof read this. What I meant is that it just seems like he wants a way out of this relationship bc I think he has had a change of heart. Before this happened I had to plead with him to stay on the phone with me instead of going out to get drunk, I had to beg him to write me a letter act as if he cared. Being drunk is never an excuse but I guess it made me more vulnerable and I'm not making an excuse just stating what I believe and feel. I know he is truly hurt but that does not give him an excuse to disrespect me or make me feel and treat me like crap the last thing I want is for him to believe that that is ok bc its not. The last thing I want is for this to become an abusive relationship. I admit what I did is wrong and I am suffering the consequences of my actions.

Well if you feel he wasn't in the relationship 100% before that happened then I'm not surprised at all with the way he is acting. I'm sorry some of us may have been quick to judge but all we have is what you write. So when you write that you feel it was insignificant we are going to think that's what you think. :dunno I know you made a mistake everyone does and I hope you two can work things out but from what you wrote it sounds like he isn't into the relationship as much as you are. You shouldn't have to beg him to talk to you and write you he should be doing that on his own because he wants to. I'm sorry for what you are going through and I really hope you two can work things out. :goodluck :goodvibes

I think this is something you just have to suck up and deal with. He feels incredibly betrayed and rightfully so. If you really want to be with him then you have to deal with the consequences of what you did andlet him hvae the time to evaluate what he wants and how he feels for you.

My best to you both. I hope you can work things out. If it's meant to be, it will.

That said, my DB and I already had this discussion. If one of us kissed another person, regardless of the circumstances leading up to it or the feelings for that OP, the relationship was over.
I'm not saying we'd stop loving eachother, but it would be a deal-breaker to us being a couple.

its alot harder to get over things when u guys arnt together, he doesnt know what happened and im not saying u did anything else its just that hes wherever he is and ur wherever ur, so its alot harder to get over when u cant talk about it face to face, if u know what i mean