Well for those who know our background...were done.

I havent heard from him in almost a month and a half and finally got an email from him on Sunday. He admitted that he wasnt putting enough into the relationship, and he said that he changed in the 2 1/2 months hes been over there. He said he didnt even care if something happened to him:tears. He asked me not to wait for him b/c he doesnt think that he's worth waiting for. He doesnt even recognize the person hes turned into, and he doesnt want to hurt me anymore.

As much as I hate to say this, my gut told me that something was wrong with us, and that the break up was inevitable. Recently I felt like I was clinging to straws, hoping that this would work out. Im not going to fight for this relationship to work, Ill do what he asked.

Anyways, good luck to all of you girls, thank you for all of your advice and support, I hope your homecomings rock, and all of your SO's make it home safe.

*Faith

:hugehug I am so sorry!! hopefully he will come around he might have been going through a rough patch...

I really think that this has nothing to do with you and your relationship but rather a side effect of the deployment. I wouldn't lose all hope but maybe give him some space with the occassional, "Hey just wanted to let you know that I care."

:bigsadhug

I really think that this has nothing to do with you and your relationship but rather a side effect of the deployment. I wouldn't lose all hope but maybe give him some space with the occassional, "Hey just wanted to let you know that I care."

I couldn't agree more.

OP- I'm sorry you feel defeated but don't give up on it completely. anyway :bigsadhug

:bigsadhug

I'm sorry he did that to you, hang in there though!

I agree. Don't give up completely but do let him know occasionally that you do care and you're there if he needs you. It sounds like he's going through a pretty major bout of depression and being completely alone right now might not be the best thing for him.

:hugs I hope he comes around and comes back to you! Please don't give up on SOS, either! We'll always be here for you!!!

:( I'm sorry hun :hugs

I agree. Don't give up completely but do let him know occasionally that you do care and you're there if he needs you. It sounds like he's going through a pretty major bout of depression and being completely alone right now might not be the best thing for him.

:hugs I hope he comes around and comes back to you! Please don't give up on SOS, either! We'll always be here for you!!!


Theres no way I could just turn my back on you girls..I just need some time to heal and to take a breather.

Im hoping that he'll realize whats waiting for him @ home and reconsider, but im not going to hold onto that single thought to get me through, kwim?:dunno

I dont want him to be alone, but I know that at this point, trying to fight for it to work would just smother him.

It has to be tough over there and the thoughts that run through their head. Once in a while remind him that you are thinking about him. Let him deal with the stresses of deployment...Things may turn around!

:bigsadhug

:bigsadhug I am so sorry...

hang in there :hugs

:hugsI'm sorry that this happened. I am sure there is someone out there who is willing to treat you like an amazing woman that you are. At least he is admitting that he can't do the relationship anymore, rather than just string you along. I hope it gets better soon!

Oh I have been in your shoes before honey! I hope you stay strong and know that you deserve a man that is going to love you for who you are. He is just lonely now and he will snap out of it but you do not need to wait for him. Brush yourself off and move on. :hugs

Oh sweetie I am sooo sorry this is happening. I hope things get better for you!

I hope you're alright.

I could honestly see him coming back to you eventually. But, I respect your choice today. You sound strong and brave. I give you a lot of credit for your attitude.

just give him time, ive heard that alot of guys go through this, hes just homesick and depressed war can do that to u just give him time and he will come around

I'm sorry sweetie!

I think you're right to try to move on. I know the stresses of deployments are very hard but shouldn't be so hard that THEY have to break up with you long distance. That's not fair, war or no war, distance or no distance. Relationships are 50-50.

Give him "his space" but also take your own. Maybe drop him a short note every now and then but if he continues to push you away then you'll know you tried.

I wish you the best of luck.....there are SO MANY men that would LOVE to cherish you the way that you deserve to be cherished.

I really think that this has nothing to do with you and your relationship but rather a side effect of the deployment. I wouldn't lose all hope but maybe give him some space with the occassional, "Hey just wanted to let you know that I care."

I couldn't agree more. I wouldn't completely give up on him or your relationship. If nothing else, see if you can remain friends. Deployments have all kinds of side effects. While I wouldn't give up on him completely, don't feel like you have to wait around for him. Try friends if nothing else. He needs to know that someone cares. Even if you aren't together as SO's, try to be his friend. Just because you aren't together, doesn't mean you can't care. Like she said, every so often, let him know that you care. If he loses all hope and motivation to come home, that's a sad day. Help him see that he is worth caring about, whether he agrees or not, because he is worth it. I know this won't be easy for you, but you are strong and you do care. Let us be there for you as well. PM me if you need support or help.

i just wanted to say that i feel your pain and im going through a similar situation right now. my man didnt even give me the respect of telling me that it wasnt working he just stopped talking to me all together. i just hope it works out for you and whether its him or another guy you find someone who loves you the way you deserve

i'm sorry sweetie :bigsadhug

True babe, but reg and the others make some good points. Not smoothering him is good, but being there for him and letting him know that you care and he is worth waiting around for... do what you feel is right, and we are all here for you!

im sorry that ya'll are going through that. maybe when he gets home or in a little while, he'll realize what he lost. i like the saying..."It's true we don't know what we've got until its gone, but we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives."

There are a lot of us out there....mine broke up with me pretty much the same way...well, pretty much over the internet. I know things are hard. They're totally confusing. He broke up with me but has called me almost every day since. I'm giving him his space....I've been debating talking to him...but I agree with a lot of the girls. Something happens over there....don't be a fool, but also letting him know you're still around could be the best thing for him....