:sigh ok, so emails are getting shorter & less cute or lovey or whatever you wanna call it, & calls are becoming more scarce... do they NORMALLY do a withdrawal or distance-like thing after being deployed for a while, or should i be worried?

He could just be very busy. I know that when my man is gone, the emails get shorter and everything but it is just because they are super busy. I hope that is what is going on with you. Stay strong.

I think it depends on how busy they are. I hear from hubby on an average of every 3-4 days but I have gone 10 days with nothing but he told me he was crazy busy and tired so he couldn't get online to write me. Just wait a while before you jump to conclusions. :yes

I don't think it's withdrawling as much as it is getting in their groove over there and just wanting to get things done and over with. It is very normal for my DH to write and call less after a few months than he did in the very beginning. Trust is a huge thing! I trust my man 100% that he is telling me the truth about how busy he is and how little time he has to do anything but work or sleep.

It's fine. I went through the same thing about a month into deployment. I started getting four word emails. I let it slide for a bit and then was like "do you even miss me?" Just keep being supportive. He is going through A LOT.

Thank you ladies! & I do trust him 110% its just, this is my first deployment & I dont really know whats normal, or different, because NONE of this is normal to me!! lol

Understandable. You will be fine. Somedays are really hard, but you will make it through. You have a great support system here!

i think he's just really busy. i haven't heard from my DB for the last 5 days which is out of the ordinary for us...but i did receive a "poke" from him on FaceBook yesterday which he checks since that's what i use to message him rather than email. i take that as him letting me know that he's okay and he loves me...lol.

I agree with what the other ladies have said...just continue to be there for him and be supportive.

yeah, but i'm also used to hearing from him almost every day... and hes only been gone a month & has 2 left..
& the emails went from: oh baby i miss you so much i cant wait to hold you/ see you/ kiss you... etc. with the mushy lovey cute stuff....
to: hey, i'm good, been busy. miss ya too. goin.. ttyl

i mean, does that sound odd to you? or is it just me??

Mine are the same way. They are really busy when they are gone. Hopefully soon he will have more time to write. Just look at it like this, at least you are still getting emails. You will learn to love those emails too because the days without an email can get long.

I am going to look at this in a different way. Maybe he is just content with the relationship and where you guys stand in it. Maybe he doesnt feel the need to write all of that to you because knows you will be there no matter what. Maybe in the begining he was afriad if he didnt do all of that you wouldnt wait for him kwim? I dont know just a thought :D

they will go into military mode.. they are focusing on their job, and sometimes it is hard, but i know that is the way that they will come home safely. withdraws are normal.. just try and be as supportive as you can :) :hugs

Its normal! My DB is doing the same thing and we trust each other completely. When he was training we spent hours at night talking when he should have been alseep. Then he went 'over there' and I got a call everyday...and we would pout when the 1 min warning beep came. After R&R he has had such a harder time getting adjusted, and is much more busy than before. I still get the daily call, but 9 times out of 10 it is a "I'm okay and tired....how was your day? Good to hear, I am tired, gonna hit the sheets." Kind of call. The 30 min calls, even 15 mins, have gone down to 5-8 mins and there are a bunch more days where he was too tired to call.

So don't freak out. And DONT freak out on him! I did that and to say the least he and I had our first real 'blow out' in 8 months of being together. He is very very stressed, so just try to understand he will call, email, write you as much as he can. While it may be little things, at least he is still doing those.

I am going to look at this in a different way. Maybe he is just content with the relationship and where you guys stand in it. Maybe he doesn't feel the need to write all of that to you because knows you will be there no matter what. Maybe in the beginning he was afraid if he didn't do all of that you wouldn't wait for him kwim? I dont know just a thought :D

:duh You know, I hadn't looked at it that way. He was telling me how this is the first time he didn't have to worry about anything while being in Iraq, (ex wife cheated the first 2 deployments) so maybe he just does feel he doesn't need to be like that anymore. I mean, thats not necessarily a bad thing. I think he just spoiled me!! Now I sort of expect it? :dunno Idk...
Thank you for bringing this into a different light for me! I'm SO glad I found this site! Yall are really Heaven sent! I would've just sat here & worried like "omg he doesnt like me anymore" or "did I piss him off" ... lol

yeah, my best advice is to chill out and not take everything to heart so much.

Seems normal to me. Once they start getting in the groove they just have less time to spend on the phone or writing an e-mail. I go about 9-10 days inbetween contact, its hard at first but you'll find your groove soon too.

I think sometimes they also get down if they are already missing home, and sometimes they just want to lose themselves in their work and not have to have their noses rubbed in the fact that they are missing out on so much. You know??

But, I'm sure he'll turn around. It changes about every two weeks with me & dh!!

Never fear, I just sent a full page e-mail to DB and got back a three sentence response and that is consider a lucky break for me lol. I think it happens to everyone. Just remember its not how much they say, its what they say that counts. :hugehug

my hubby never emails me back anymore.. unless I mention something about sex. lol so feel lucky
he is pretty good about calling every night he can though. My hubby has told me he misses me but some times it is really hard to hear about me spending me day with our daughter or when i go out with friends. not that he wants me to just sit around the house but he misses being able to do those things and even more doing them with me. And so he sort of distances himself and gets wrapped up in his work.. and well then there are times when they go on misions and obviously can't call

if you even need anyone to vent to or have questions. I'm no pro but this is our second deployment. Just hang in there and remember there are plenty of people here who know how you feel and been there done that

Our communication is like a yo-yo. Sometimes I get a few hours of IM or a two hour phone call. Sometimes I get 5 minute IM's. Sometimes 1 minute phone calls. I'm learing to be happy with whatever I can get. At first I was freaking out but then I went a week without hearing from him and all of a sudden a sentance was worth a thousand words. He still uses the credit card quite a bit at the PX and to me that is great because I can go online and see when he has charged something and it tells me he is ok. It's our way of him telling me he is ok when he has no other way to communicate. To bad all the charges add up fast :)