Ok, my friend's husband has been really tense and depressed lately. She went to call and make an appointment for him, but Tricare said wives are not allowed to make appointments (he's on top secret status, so there's only select medications he can take, etc etc, but I don't think wives can ever make appointments for their AD husbands).

However, he can make appointments for her and make her go.

Also, If she called his supervisors and/or first shirt, THEY can make doctors' appointments for him. (But that involves involving the military in his personal life).

This isn't about her case, it's about the facts that:
She can't make appointments for her husband.
He can make (and force her to go to) appointments.
His supervisors can make appointments in his name.

Is this fair?

100% NO.

The fact stands, though, that as a military member...the military DOES have the ability to tell them when to go to the doctor. The wife doesn't have a contract in writing(that supercedes the government contract he signed)stating she owns his ass, in far more words.

Fair? No. Legal? Hell yes. There are a LOT of pages to read before signing, and rights to your own healthcare go, same as lots of other things.

100% NO.

The fact stands, though, that as a military member...the military DOES have the ability to tell them when to go to the doctor. The wife doesn't have a contract in writing(that supercedes the government contract he signed)stating she owns his ass, in far more words.

Fair? No. Legal? Hell yes. There are a LOT of pages to read before signing, and rights to your own healthcare go, same as lots of other things.

I know it's legal, and for the fact that I could potentially be upsetting some billion dollar military endeavors with badly timed appointments, I understand WHY I can't make my husband an appointment (as the wife of an AD member). I just don't think it's fair, lol :vent

Hmmm....I've never tried making an appt for my husband....LOL!!!!!

I've made plenty of appointments for my husband..they've had no issue with it here :dunno

I don't think it's fair.. but my husband makes all my appointments (I have him do it so he can make them around his schedule to be home with the kids) and I don't mind.

Definitely not fair.

No way is that fair!!!

Ok, my friend's husband has been really tense and depressed lately. She went to call and make an appointment for him, but Tricare said wives are not allowed to make appointments (he's on top secret status, so there's only select medications he can take, etc etc, but I don't think wives can ever make appointments for their AD husbands).

However, he can make appointments for her and make her go.

Also, If she called his supervisors and/or first shirt, THEY can make doctors' appointments for him. (But that involves involving the military in his personal life).

This isn't about her case, it's about the facts that:
She can't make appointments for her husband.
He can make (and force her to go to) appointments.
His supervisors can make appointments in his name.

Is this fair?

I've made apt for my DH when he was sick. This might be somthing totally different because it is depression. Plus, if he is PRP and top security that makes a difference. There are procedures that must be taken to make sure that he isn't using it as a copout.

Is it fair, yes and no. Yes because he is in the military and the military owns him. His supervisors are his boss and have the legal right to do that for his safety and the safety of others.

No because that takes away his personal freedom.

Catch 22.

You know that if you want your tubes tied you have to have your husbands permission, too? But if HE wants a vasectomy he can do it without you knowing!!!

Yeah, I don't think it's fair, and it's even scarier that the unfairness is accepted as par for the course.

BUT, I guess it's better than having no health care at all. :P

You know that if you want your tubes tied you have to have your husbands permission, too? But if HE wants a vasectomy he can do it without you knowing!!!

I didn't have to have his permission to have my tubes cut and fried.

I didn't have to have his permission to have my tubes cut and fried.

Totally agree and I know in this base if you want to have a vac done you have to have permission for your spouse. Plus, you have to be such age, children, or medically needed.

Hmmm....I've never tried making an appt for my husband....LOL!!!!!

I always make my hubby's or he won't go... getting him to a doctor is like pulling teeth!

to the OP no totally not fair...

I've made plenty of appointments for my husband..they've had no issue with it here :dunno

I've always made the appointments for DH. Simply for the fact that otherwise he'd forget. And we never had an issue with that

I make DH's appts all the time. The first mental health appt, they wouldnt let me. But after that, I have had no problems. DH wasnt allowed to make my first mental health appt either. I had to make it.

I totally see the reasoning in not being able to make someone else's first mental health appt. If that person isnt willing to be helped, what is the point? Save that appt for someone who is willing to get help.

Also, even if you dont want to involve the command, depending on the circumstances. They will find out. DH tried to do it without command knowledge, but because of his job at the time that had to notify his PCM and his command.



You know that if you want your tubes tied you have to have your husbands permission, too? But if HE wants a vasectomy he can do it without you knowing!!!

I didnt have DH's permission both times I had mine tied.

You know that if you want your tubes tied you have to have your husbands permission, too? But if HE wants a vasectomy he can do it without you knowing!!!

I didn't need my Dh's permission :dunno. Also my BIL wants a V because they have two kids but he is under the age limit tricare has (he is the AD member) and his wife has to sign off that it is ok with her. For my tubal I had no age limit and did not need permission from my DH. It never even was brought up except for the DR in New Hampshire telling me he felt I was young for a tubal.

I wouldn't make an appointment for my DH he is never in the same place as me and I figure if he needs to make one he knows how to do it. Likewise with my appointments he has never made one for me and unless i am having a mental issue and can't think clearly I doubt he will ever need to make one for me. Emergency situations would be different. Such as bad accident, coma, or other serious health crisis.

With mental health they ask you "are you here of your own free will" when you fill out the paper work. If you check off no everything gets stopped, that is why mental health appointments must be made by the person going to the appointment.