OK so someone who has been through deployments before help me understand this. DB has been gone almost a year of you include training. We have both worked so hard over the past year. I am so in love with him but my heart is just breaking right now. He's weeks before he's coming home and now we are having all of these relationship issues. I have been blaming myself and now he says he can't trust me emotionally because I said somethings that hurt him. We have alwasy said that I would relocate with him and move in with him when he gets home and now he says he's starting to rethink things. Is some of this just nerves about seeing me for the first time in months or is it reality checking in after making all these crazy big dreams in that emotional deployment stage?? Its killing me I am sooooooo sad!! I feel like everything I have worked so hard for is just unraveling....

Emotions run super high at the end of a deployment. He is probably stessing about coming back to the real world and fitting in. He is also proabably worried about being a different person when he cpmes home. Mark and I fought at that time durning the last deployment too although ours was about having that second baby. he said all along during the deployment that he wanted to try right away but then took that back. It did take him about a year after coming home to feel comfortable with taking that step because he was enjoying Roseanna. So my situation was a little different. My advice is to just be there for him, it will be hard emotionally on you both because reacclamtion to the real world for them is super hard. If you stand by him I think that will be all the assurance he needs and everything will work out for you. Good luck and pm me if you need anything.

aw im sorry hun :hugs Since i dont really know the details about what had happened between you both to make him not trust you emotionally, im not really sure where he's coming from, but i DO know that there are a roller coaster of emotions that they (and the ppl waiting) go through before coming back after being apart so long. I think that once you guys are physically right there next to each other and can talk face to face, a lt more will be clear and sorted out. There isnt much you can do right now while he's still gone, so as hard as it is try not to stress SO much...because for all you know he cuold come back and see you and realize he was just worried because it had been so long since he'd seen you. Wait until he's home, really discuss it face to face...and then you'll see what is happening or will happen

aw im sorry hun :hugs Since i dont really know the details about what had happened between you both to make him not trust you emotionally, im not really sure where he's coming from, but i DO know that there are a roller coaster of emotions that they (and the ppl waiting) go through before coming back after being apart so long. I think that once you guys are physically right there next to each other and can talk face to face, a lt more will be clear and sorted out. There isnt much you can do right now while he's still gone, so as hard as it is try not to stress SO much...because for all you know he cuold come back and see you and realize he was just worried because it had been so long since he'd seen you. Wait until he's home, really discuss it face to face...and then you'll see what is happening or will happen

I have to agree...I really think it is a combination of coming home and being nervous about it...Im so sorry that this is happening, but I wouldn't count anything out yet. See what happens when he comes home...he might just be super nervous about seeing you again. IT might all just be hitting him. I hope it works out...pm me PLEASE if you need to talk...I might be able to give more insight...Hugs hun...from one teacher to another you can make it through this...I know it.

DF and I got into a lot more arguments towards the end of deployment. Things that had been written in stone were no longer certain. When he got back and I brought it up to him he said that he was just scared. Maybe that is what you are going through right now. I am sure everything will work out in regards to relocating, it's just hard, especially when it comes to uprooting your life to be with the man you love.

I agree with the rest of the posters. The guys seem to get alittle restless about coming home and start picking apart EVERYTHING! Andy has done it 2 times before, and I am already starting to feel the frustration pushed on to me during phone calls.

My advice is to not push to hard at those subjects till he gets home cause right now he is at a very highly emotional state ( man type of emotional which means anger) and he may just push you futher away. Keep doing what you have been doing, get him home then start making moves forward.

Its hard, but you are strong enough to get through this!

:hugehug

I'm sorry hun. I agree with the other ladies though. It's probably just stress related on both your parts. Being apart for that long isn't good for a relationship. I hope you feel better soon. :yes

obviously I don't have any past experience but I do know that in the last couple of days DB has expressed nerves about coming home and being with me again. I am going to say be patient and see how things pan out when he comes home. You two always seemed to click and I know it is hard to sit and wonder but I think in this case it is the wiser choice. I bet when he comes home the nerves will settle and the two of you will work things out. :goodvibes

I am so sorry :hugehug

DH and I fight all the time because of this. We fight right before we are about to see each other, and right before we are about to seperate again. He is stationed in NC, and Im in texas so we make trips almost every month when he is back.

I really hope that he has time to THINK about what he is saying, and i hope he realizes that you are a great person, and the things you said were not genuine, and that you won't hurt him. I hope that you feel better as well...

keep us updated. Maybe he just needs some time to get things into perspective.

You have been with him through this whole thing, he can't just throw it away after one fight, that is not what a military couple is about- we can get through anything:)

if he is getting ready to come home.. there are a lot of issues that he is dealing with.. and so are you. at homecoming time, both of you are nervous about whether or not you'll still feel the same about eachother, and sometimes you fight to just make sure that it is still real.. or just because of all the stress. give it some time after he comes home--he WILL need adjustment time, where you don't even think it is worth it. but eventually, he will get his head right, and things will go back to normal. :hugs you'll make it!

I just NEED to say that I couldn't do this without you girls!!! Everyone of you is an AMAZING person. Thank you! DB and I talked today and both decided that we need to take all the emotional stuff and put it on the backburner til we can sit and talk face to face. Thanks for the advice it seems like the right thing to do! I know we can do this its just hard sometimes when everyone is holding on so tight...ya know??

This is my first deployment too. (his second) I was told that stress is high on both sides.I'm sure that all it is. Give him time and be there for him. Good luck.