But I just logged in here so I guess that is a good sign that things are starting to come back together again.

Meltdown began Thursday evening when I talked to DB. He got in an accident. Everyone is ok. (Except me :sigh) I guess that with the stress of an exam the next day, plus watching the premiere of Lost, set me off for a night of the worst nightmares I have had in months. Like the kind where you wake up and think you peed in your sleep because you sweated so hard.

The next day (when I was supposed to take my final) I find out that my grandma's dog won't get up. Nobody bothered to call me when this initially occurred. The details of this ordeal are too much to even get into. But anyway I went straight home (missed the exam) to find her laying on the floor with her poor dog. We took him to the vet. Hes doing better now.

Later that day I finally confronted my aunt for being such a worthless alcoholic :vent:vent:vent

Then I spent almost 2 hours (in the pouring rain) taking down a partially downed tree :dunno Crazy I know but I was so angry I had to take it out on something.

And in the process I got poison ivy or something. And now it has spread to my FACE. :duh

I can't even recall everything from the past couple days. I've been mostly hibernating. Took a vacation from meds which is a very bad idea. I went to the doc I am back on some now so I can finally see straight and feel a little more clearheaded. Still feeling out of wack and overwhelmed at the mess I have made by avoiding reality for almost a week. :depressed

But at least I was able to have a normal conversation with DB today. Normal as in..I could make words come out of my mouth and put them together in sentences. Weird I know... I don't know how DB puts up with it. I hate when I am like this :tired

I thought the last 2 months would be much easier than this. :confuzzle

:hugs

sounds like a stressful few days. Hang in there, only up from here, right?

I hope so :pray

:hugs hang in there

you are allowed to feel like shit and have melt downs. It's the only way you can release the stress that gets bottled up. Keep your head up! You are doing a great job!

thank you :goodvibes

:hugs
Wow you have had a rough few days. I'm glad he's ok, and I hope you're feeling better soon too.

I was wondering where you were?!? I was going to put out a search warrant for you today! I missed ya!

#1...im glad your db is ok...IT must BE HORRIBLE to hear news like that, I pray every day I don't have to hear stuff like that, because I don't think I could handle it, but I am so happy for you and him that he is ok...I bet it must have thrown you for a loop

#2...Im sorry about your nightmares...that SUCKS...I hate those sweaty ones...its like god could I look even more like a monster in the morning?!? Hopefully you won't be having any more of those until db gets home and then he can hug you all night and make sure you are ok...

#3...Im glad the dog is ok...im a super big fan of dogs...as you probably know...

#4...will you get to take the final again?? I HOPE so!:pray:pray

#5...Congrats to you for confronting your aunt, that must have felt good:cp

#6...You took DOWN A TREE?!?!?!?! are you kidding me?:wowsers:wowsers

#7...the poision will go away...the first time I went to see my boyfriend (wasn't boyfriend at the time) was after 4 years of not seeing each other I was driving to MD and noticed I was getting HIVES all OVER MY BODY and FACE!!! he saw me for the first time in 4 years with hives

#8 and last...Feel better sweetie...come on here if you are stressed...call me if you are stressed...I am a good listener, and it is better than hibernating...he will be home soon! so so soon!!! I hope you are feeling better

This is long

:hugs

i'm glad you're feeling better now!!! and i hope your man gets better soon

:hugs hang in there

Julianne!!!!!!!

I am so sorry you had a shitty week!!! I hope everything starts falling into place. And school is a bitch during deployment:(

:hugs and :pray it will get better just don't over stress too much!

oh hun :hugs im so sorry i was wondering about you i hope things get better now :hugs im always around if you need to talk too :)

your life sounds like me lately... :( :hugs you'll make it through .. we all will.

I KNOW!!! These last few months are seriously the worst! I have been more pouty, angry at the world, just in general down than I EVER have in the past. I know what you mean when you say you have lost your mind. We can be in that club together! Mine is LONG LONG LONG gone!

:hugs

i am so sorry you had such a bad week! Please take Jill's advice and call one of us next time so atleast we can try to help!

I know that it should be a happy go lucky time counting down the next two months, but I know what you mean about it not being the easiest!

I am SO glad to hear that you DB is ok, and that you are too now.

:hugehug

Thanks guys :) I'm trying to get out of this rut it's just so hard when I have let things go for so long. I am like embarassed to call and talk to my boss I just started this job a few weeks ago and I have called out this entire week. I need to makeup my final exam too and have yet to contact anyone. Its noon and I am still on the couch. :depressed

I think my Dad is going to take me back my grandma's house today. I had been staying at my parents house to recoup this week. I hope getting back to my normal surroundings will kick my ass into gear.

Jules..I'm sorry!! Hop eyou are feeling better!!!

glad its going better