View Full Version : My big black cloud... SUPER LONG, sorry!


TPuckey
02-06-2008, 03:04 PM
I feel like since I've been through this before, I'm supposed to handle it better. For the most part, I'm ok... But, last night and today, this little black cloud that frequently follows me around has decided to unload on me.
Last night, I put my 18 month old in the bathtub, only to discover that (she has tubes in her ears) one ear has blood-colored wax coming all the way out of the ear. I pulled out what was on the outside of the ear, but didn't want to touch the inside because they told me not to. I know she can't hear anything because it is so full of stuff. She is a handful anyways, but even worse because I think she had a ruptured eardrum (again).
I finally get them to bed with the thought that tomorrow will be a new day. I can't sleep until late, which isn't anything new, I haven't been sleeping at all lately... and wake up late in the morning, making us late to get ready for the girls dance classes today. I didn't have time to shower, barely had time to brush my teeth and we were out the door.
I was already feeling unmotivated (as I have been for a while now), but had things to do. Went to the first dance class.. Alexa (the oldest) threw a huge tantrum in the middle of the class, yelling and kicking, and she's four, which only got looks from the other moms... who by the way are all "dolled" up because it's just one of those communities, and I'm about the only one around who knows what it is like to be a single wife because of military reasons. So they all stare at me like "God, she can't handle her kids".. which is bad enough, then Brooke starts crying and pulling at her ear. The doctor's office, which I called this morning, just wanted to call her in some drops, which I don't think is going to help, so that's another phone call I will have to make.
Then I went to the post office to mail four boxes out to my hubby for Valentine's day, all of which I am trying to carry across the WET (it was raining by the way) parking lot along with two children under the age of 5. Needless to say, I drop the boxes, in a puddle, in the middle of the road. Four, count em', FOUR people walk by me without so much as ASKING if I need help. I get inside, the post office lady is rude because I didn't have them all addressed. Brooklyn is running around trying to touch things.. people behind me are being impatient. The lady at the other counter is talking about people dying in Iraq, which I just DON'T need right now. I finally get out of there, open the door, and it is POURING.. like I can't even see the truck. How appropriate.
I leave, go to Target to pick up the prescriptions. My birth control is almost 60 dollars because she said the insurance didn't cover it. Needless to say, I ended up paying it because I get a pass with my husband and I needed it, only to have the pharmacist track me down in the parking lot, tell me that there was a mistake, and have to drag both kids back in to get my credit back.
Dance class number 2, the big one goes on her own, and the little one runs around screaming. I sit in the lobby fighting back tears because I have just had it. Brooke is running around (yet again) and I just can't find the strength to do anything about it. Of course, the uppety women and their nannies just stare at me because I'm such a total mess.. hair not done, no makeup, sweatpants and a sweatshirt.
Leave, come home (with the little one screaming the entire way), get the mail and there is a letter from the mortgage company about how the deployment is ENDING, and we no longer get Servicemembers Relief Act benefits, making our payment go up a ridiculous amount. His orders just started in December, how are they ENDING? So I call them, and argue for 20 minutes, only to be asked to fax the documents AGAIN! I feel sorry for the poor lady, but she beared the brunt of my entire day.
That resolved, I retreat to my room, not really caring if the kids set the house on fire, and my husband calls. After calming down long enough to talk to him.. he says he has to go, but he wants me to do something for him. I asked what and he said "Go sit down somewhere and smile." I started crying all over again. Can I just wake up and start the day over??!!?!?!?!?!

Anyways, had to get it out, thanks for listening, and sorry it was soooo long!!!!

Kristen
02-06-2008, 03:16 PM
Oh man, you had a long day! I hope the drops work for your little one, and I'm glad the pharmacist figured out their mistake. I hope that you get the chance to do just what your dh said, and soon! :hugs

Germanchick
02-06-2008, 03:18 PM
I just wanted to send you some :hugs

MissJasmin25
02-06-2008, 03:44 PM
I am so sorry. I hope things get easier. It must be so exhausting to have kids through a deployment:(

AnAopps
02-06-2008, 05:58 PM
Oh GOODNESS! You have a right to atleast 20 mins of alone time! And if i was anywhere near you Id offer to watch the girls for you for a day!

Noone expects you to be able to handle this deployment any better just cause you have done it b4. I swear it almost seems harder for me, becuase you know what it is like.kwim?

Feel strong, becuase you are!

:hugehug :hugehug

Kris
02-06-2008, 06:02 PM
I am so sorry hun I wish there was something I could do for you if there is ANYTHING you need that I could help with please PM me I am here for you!!!!!
:bigsadhug:bigsadhug:bigsadhug:bigsadhug:bigsadhug:bigsadhug:bigsadhug:bigsadhug:bigsadhug

missieb2007
02-06-2008, 10:59 PM
I totally feel the pain. I dont have kids like you do but I have the dog which is the baby and as you read he was attacked by a pit. I hope you have a better day tomorrow. And dont worry about what the other mothers think of you they dont know what your going through. :hosed:hugs

kshep
02-06-2008, 11:23 PM
:hugehug Oh I feel for you. I hope tomorrow is better for you.

pheena02
02-06-2008, 11:54 PM
:hugehug i do hope that you take his advice, please smile! tomorrow is a new day and i am sure it will be better! not too much longer till leave!

lildumplin123456
02-07-2008, 01:08 AM
Oh...poor sweetie. Doesn't it seem like some days when it rains it pours(no pun intended). Hopefully tomorrow will be better. HUGS!!!

tinsygrl
02-07-2008, 01:47 AM
:hugs I hope tomorrow is a much better day for you!

Jackidlc
02-07-2008, 01:51 AM
I go through those days sometimes. I have three kids all under 6 yrs. old and somedays I just want to lay in bed and not know nothing, but I stop and just sit for 20 mins and then Im relax and go about my day. Its going to be hard someday and easier other days. Your doing the best you can and that counts. :hugehug

carlyd89
02-07-2008, 01:56 AM
wow..i'm sorry you had such a rough day hun...i hope tomorrow is better and sunny!!!
rain needs to go away

Daphne
02-07-2008, 02:09 AM
OMG I am sitting here crying just reading this I know exactly what you are going through. I have so had days like this during this deployment. My husband is a reservist so I dont have any Military woman around to talk to. but I do have my mom living near by to help out with the kids. Sometimes you just need that alone time. I hope things brighten up for you!!! :hugehug

martiemullet
02-07-2008, 02:20 AM
damn you weren't kidding. that is THE ultimate day from hell.
take a deep breathe, be glad its over, and try to remember to take the good with the bad.
things will get better... i'm here if you need anything!