My Df is my DD's daddy, as far as she can remember.

I was with her bio dad for 3 years, got preggo and he went off the hinges. Basically started gambling heavily, got into drugs then started to get abusive, needless to say i got the heck out of there. I met Df when she was 6 months old.

Now she doesn't remember anything about him... and we don't plan on telling her anything about him untill she gets older (:gloomy so not looking forward to that talk) Bio Dad is on the birth certificate, but we are currently in the process of having DF adopt her legally. We just have to find the A hole... whole other story. :rolleyes

So the question is, I have all these pics of when she was first born with Biodad, should I keep them around, so that if she wants to see them later on in life I have them?

It seems like a simple yes to me, but Df doesn't think I should. He feels that it isn't our responsibility to keep his memory around and that if biodad wants to be remembered then he should have stuck around.

I think sometimes DF gets overly protective, he would just rather not EVER tell her about it. But its bound to come out eventually, so i think its better to tell her then find out on her own, kwim?

KEEP THEM

as a girl who never had her dad... i know its nice to look at them.
she may not care about them and just take your DF as her dad... she might really want to see them...

if you get rid of them she might be crushed.

I say you should keep them. She will want to see what he looks like some day. Just becasue he wasnt around doesnt mean that she has not right to know what he looks like. She will still be glad that your DF was there and treated her as his own. Any one can be a father but it takes someone special to be a daddy, my mom always told me that when I was little and missing my dead beat dad.

I would definitely say keep them. It's totally understandable how your df wants to protect her from having to deal with the pain that dealing with it might cause her, but she is going to have to know at some point. He also might feel (maybe even just the slightest bit) like once she knows she will feel differently about him (your df) being her daddy, but trust me on this one, if he's been around that long and he's been good to her, no one is going to take his place as her daddy no matter how old she is or who comes into the picture. If it were me, I wouldn't want her to wish she had them and not. And at the same time, if she doesn't care, you can toss them and life goes on.

Keep them.

I never knew my biodad. He left when I was around 1. My Daddy (stepfather) has been around since I was about three. I still like to look at the baby pics with, as I call him now, "the sperm donor." My mom left it up to me if I wanted to contact him or see pics. I still haven't contacted him to this day and never will. But, always give your DD the option to see the photos and ask about her biodad. Just my opinion since I was in a similar situation...

Keep them.

I would have to say that I totally agree with what everyone else has said so far... she has a right to know ... when she asks until then just keep them where she can't find them and just let time take it's course!

I would definitely say keep them. It's totally understandable how your df wants to protect her from having to deal with the pain that dealing with it might cause her, but she is going to have to know at some point. He also might feel (maybe even just the slightest bit) like once she knows she will feel differently about him (your df) being her daddy, but trust me on this one, if he's been around that long and he's been good to her, no one is going to take his place as her daddy no matter how old she is or who comes into the picture. If it were me, I wouldn't want her to wish she had them and not. And at the same time, if she doesn't care, you can toss them and life goes on.

I agree with this.

Keep them.

Keep them - you don't need to put them out anywhere but keep them in a safe place so that SHE can decide what to do with them when she is old enough. IF she wants them it needs to be an option for her.

keep them for sure

:thanks

You all have the same train of thought I have. I am just going to have to boost DF's self confidence, when it comes to his relationship with DD.

I can't say it enough, you all are AMAZING!

I would just keep them, because when the time arises and she starts asking about the bio dad, she might want to see the pictures.

Keep them

Keep them and when she gets old enough where she can understand and you tell her let her decide whats she wants to do with them...i din't know my bio dad so my step dad is what i have in my life and I except him as my real dad have as long as I can remember. I could care less about my bio dad..he left whatever....

KEEP THEM

as a girl who never had her dad... i know its nice to look at them.
she may not care about them and just take your DF as her dad... she might really want to see them...

if you get rid of them she might be crushed.

:agree

Keep them. One day when she knows the first thing she is going to ask about is what he looks like and are there any pic of him. IMO not keeping them would be a huge mistake. Just tuck them away for safe keeping and when the time is right bring them out.

Keep them and be honest with her..

You should keep them. And whatever you do, dont keep it from your child. I am married to a man whose mother and step father thought it woud be a good idea to do so. He found out on accident that he had a different dad. He is so upset still to this day that he missed out on the best person for him in his life.

keep them

Keep them. I never saw my dad after the time I was 9 months old. The only thing i have are a few pictures in my baby book. I have no interest in seeing my father at all, even at this point in my life. He was not a good person. But it is still nice to be able to see what he looks like.

I would say deffinately keep at least a few! I mean, I don't know how many you have. But you need to have at least a few so that when she gets older, if she so chooses to find out who her biological father is, she has that choice. But by keeping those pictures, you are letting her make that decision for herself someday and not making it for her!

And I'm sure that it would be hard for your DF to understand that, and it might be that it will make him feel more secure in raising her. Does that make sense?

keep.

Ash;ey, hun krrp them in as box of 'keep sakes" for her later in life.. my grandma did that and it was a great sight tosee things i did throught out school and that.

keep them for sure!

My dd's bio dad is dead... She is 14 and has started really asking about him. I have no pictures due to our moves, so she has contacted his family. Not the "best" thing but they are "still" her family..... My dh has been in my dd's life since she was 3 and he is her daddy. He is in the process adopting her now. If you have any questions feel free to PM me!

Keep them!! Someday when she's getting ready to have a child it will be nice for her to be able to look at his features to she "where she came from". My father isn't much a part of my life but I am glad that I have pictures of him so that I can see what physical features of him that I have and wonder if Peyton will look more like me or her daddy.

Also, I would try to ensure your DF that he will never have to be in competition with biodad. Remind him that he is your DD's father and that she will always love him. My DH would be the same way as your DF about it, but mine would be that way because he would be worried about DD not loving him or resenting him if she found out. Don't know your DF or what he's thinking, but if that could be it, maybe he needs some reassurance!

Good luck sweetie