Breast Feeding-the pro's and con's. [Archive] - Military Significant Others and Spouse Support

Steph*

02-09-2008, 11:52 PM

There are no cons to breastfeeding ;)

Here are 10 reasons:

# The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding
According to the AAP, "Human milk is species-specific, and all substitute feeding preparations differ markedly from it, making human milk uniquely superior for infant feeding. Exclusive breastfeeding is the reference or normative model against which all alternative feeding methods must be measured with regard to growth, health, development, and all other short- and long-term outcomes. In addition, human milk-fed premature infants receive significant benefits with respect to host protection and improved developmental outcomes compared with formula-fed premature infants… Pediatricians and parents should be aware that exclusive breastfeeding is sufficient to support optimal growth and development for approximately the first 6 months of life and provides continuing protection against diarrhea and respiratory tract infection. Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child."

A.A.P. Breastfeeding Policy Statement: Breastfeeding and the Use of Human Milk Pediatrics Vol. 115 No. 2 February 2005

(http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;115/2/496)

# The American Dietetic Association promotes breastfeeding
The ADA also believes that "the bonding that occurs during breastfeeding makes it a special choice." The ADA actively promotes breastfeeding, stating that "It is the position of the American Dietetic Association that broad-based efforts are needed to break the barriers to breastfeeding initiation and duration. Exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months and breastfeeding with complementary foods for at least 12 months is the ideal feeding pattern for infants. Increases in initiation and duration are needed to realize the health, nutritional, immunological, psychological, economical, and environmental benefits of breastfeeding."

ADA Website: ADA Website: http://www.eatright.org/Public/NutritionInformation/92_8236.cfm

# Breast milk is more digestible than formula
"In recent years nutritionists have voiced concern about overly high levels of protein in the American diet. Since cow's milk contains about twice as much protein as human milk, formula-fed babies usually receive more protein than they need (much of it in the form of the less digestible casein). The stools of formula-fed babies are so bulky because the babies cannot absorb so much protein, and excrete the excess in their stool, whereas breast-fed babies absorb virtually 100% of the protein in human milk."

The Complete Book Of Breastfeeding M.S. Eiger. MD, S. Wendkos Olds, Copyright 1999, Workman Publishing Co., Inc., 708 Broadway, New York, NY 10003

# Not breastfeeding increases mother's risk of breast cancer
Many studies have shown that women who breastfeed have lower risks of developing breast cancer. Recently, data from 47 studies in 30 countries was re-examined. The study group concluded that the incidence of breast cancer in developed countries could be reduced by more than half if women had the number of births and lifetime duration of breastfeeding that have been common in developing countries until recently. According to the analysis, breastfeeding could account for almost two-thirds of this estimated reduction in breast cancer incidence.

Jernstorm, H et al "Breast-feeding and the risk of breast cancer in BRCA1 and BRCA2 mutation carriers." J Natl Cancer Inst. 2004;96:1094-1098

Lee, SY et al "Effect of lifetime lactation on breast cancer risk: a Korean women's cohort study." Int J Cancer. 2003;105:390-393

Collaborative Group on Hormonal Factors in Breast Cancer (2002). "Breast cancer and breastfeeding: collaborative reanalysis of individual data from 47 epidemiological studies in 30 countries, including 50,302 women with breast cancer and 96,973 women without the disease." Lancet 360: 187-95

Zheng et al, "Lactation Reduces Breast Cancer Risk in Shandong Province, China" Am. J. Epidemiol. Dec. 2000, 152 (12): 1129

Newcomb PA, Storer BE, Longnecker MP, et al. "Lactation and a reduced risk of premenopausal breast cancer." N Engl J Med. 1994;330:81-87

# Baby's suckling helps shrink mother's uterus after childbirth
The uterus of the non-breastfeeding mother will never shrink back to its pre-pregnant size. It will always remain slightly enlarged.

"Nursing will help you to regain your figure more quickly, since the process of lactation causes the uterus (which has increased during pregnancy to about 20 times its normal size) to shrink more quickly to its pre-pregnancy size. "

The Complete Book Of Breastfeeding M.S. Eiger. MD, S. Wendkos Olds, Copyright 1999, Workman Publishing Co., Inc., 708 Broadway, New York, NY 10003

# Formula feeding increases baby girls' risk of developing breast cancer in later life
Women who were formula-fed as infants have higher rates of breast cancer as adults. For both premenopausal and postmenopausal breast cancer, women who were breastfed as children, even if only for a short time, had a 25% lower risk of developing breast cancer than women who were bottle-fed as infants.

Freudenheim, J. et al. 1994 "Exposure to breast milk in infancy and the risk of breast cancer". Epidemiology 5:324-331

# Formula Feeding is associated with lower I.Q.
Human breast milk enhances brain development and improves cognitive development in ways that formula cannot. One study has found that the average I.Q. of 7 and 8 year old children who had been breastfed as babies was 10 points higher than their bottle fed peers. All of the children involved had been born prematurely and tube fed the human milk, indicating that the milk itself, not the act of breastfeeding, caused this difference in I.Q. level. Another study to support this statement was done in New Zealand. Here an 18 year longitudinal study of over 1,000 children found that those who were breastfed as infants had both higher intelligence and greater academic achievement than children who were infant-formula fed.

HMortensen EL et al (2002). "The association between duration of breastfeeding and adult intelligence" JAMA 287: 2365-71

Anderson JW et al (1999) "Breastfeeding and cognitive development: a meta-analysis" Am J Clin Nutr 70: 525-35

Horwood and Fergusson, "Breastfeeding and Later Cognitive and Academic Outcomes" Jan 1998 Pediatrics Vol. 101, No. 1

Lucas A., "Breast Milk and Subsequent Intelligence Quotient in Children Born Preterm". Lancet 1992;339:261-62

Wang YS, Wu SY. "The effect of exclusive breastfeeding on development and incidence of infection in infants." J Hum Lactation. 1996; 12:27-30

# Breast milk is always ready and comes in a nicer package than formula does
Need we say more?

# Breast milk helps pass meconium
Babies are born with a sticky tar-like substance called meconium in their intestines. Colostrum, or early milk, is uniquely designed to help move this substance through the infant's body.

# Breast milk contains immunities to diseases and aids in the development of baby's immune system.
Formula provides neither of these benefits. "Breastfed babies have fewer illnesses because human milk transfers to the infant a mother's antibodies to disease. About 80% of the cells in breast milk are macrophages, cells that kill bacteria, fungi, and viruses. Breastfed babies are protected in varying degrees from a number of illnesses including, pneumonia, botulism, bronchitis, staphylococcal infections, influenza, ear infections, and German measles. Furthermore, mothers produce antibodies to what ever disease is present in their environment, making their milk custom-designed to fight diseases their babies are exposed to as well."

Williams RD, "Breast-Feeding Best Bet for Babies",

U.S. Food and Drug Administration Statement: http://www.fda.gov/fdac/features/895_brstfeed.html

Koutras, A.K., "Fecal Secretory Immunoglobulin A in Breast Milk vs. Formula Feeding in Early Infancy". J. Ped Gastro Nutr 1989.

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and here's a link to 99 more wonderful reasons you should breastfeed. :)
http://www.promom.org/101/
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For me, I always knew I would breastfeed my children. It has been a wonderful experience! If you have any specific questions, feel free to ask! :)

Mommy2Bailey

02-10-2008, 12:22 AM

I breastfed all 3 of mine. First one for 6 weeks. Second one for 1 year. Bailey for 2 and a half months. I loved the bonding. Hated the sore nipples.

My big issue is the people that make you feel like a loser for not breastfeeding. Like there way is the best way. Well it might be the best way for THEM. Doesnt mean it is for everyone. If you want to breastfeed go for it. But DO NOT feel guilty or bad if for some reason you cant or after a while you just dont want to.

Victoria

02-10-2008, 12:29 AM

My son has had maybe about 10oz TOTAL of breastmilk.
He has a vERY strong immune system and has never had an ear infection.

I would've LOVED to have breastfed exclusively, if my body allowed. I tried EVERYTHING under the sun too!

rosebud*

02-10-2008, 12:33 AM

My big issue is the people that make you feel like a loser for not breastfeeding. Like there way is the best way. Well it might be the best way for THEM. Doesnt mean it is for everyone. If you want to breastfeed go for it. But DO NOT feel guilty or bad if for some reason you cant or after a while you just dont want to.
:agree I totally agree You do what is best for you and the baby.

My son has had maybe about 10oz TOTAL of breastmilk.
He has a vERY strong immune system and has never had an ear infection.

I would've LOVED to have breastfed exclusively, if my body allowed. I tried EVERYTHING under the son too!
same here I couldn't with my kids tried with my first just never worked out, I have been told by my dr i didn't produce enough milk so i just never tried it with my other two to avoid the heartache/frustration.

Kelsey

02-10-2008, 12:40 AM

Steph*, I (L) you! :tu

It's important to realize that not only are there physical benefits, financial benefits, time benefits, etc. But there are emotional benefits as well. Breastfeeding is a huge factor in the attachment process. While you can form attachment/bonding with FF, nothing can replace the attachment that BF provides for both mom and baby.

Steph*

02-10-2008, 12:42 AM

Mommy2Bailey

02-10-2008, 12:45 AM

I personally dont believe that the bonding and attachment between a BF baby and mother is any stronger than a FF baby and mother. Its the strongest bond simply because its mother and baby.

aelsass

02-10-2008, 12:51 AM

Right back atcha! ;)

I agree with the bonding/attachment 100% :yes

I agree too.

missyanne24

02-10-2008, 12:56 AM

There are no cons to breastfeeding ;)

I'm not trying to be Ms. Negative here, but what worked for you won't always work for someone else. There ARE cons to breastfeeding, and I think it's horrid to say there aren't any, because that simply isn't true.

I did not breastfeed. I was completely against it from the beginning, as the idea of it weirded me out. To this day it gives me the heebies. I tried it *under the guidance of my meddling sister in law* and short story made shorter, I determined it definitely WAS NOT for me. Other women who do breastfeed don't bother me, and I don't mind if someone does it in front of me...it's just not for me.

In my case, formula feeding was the route to go. Having a mother who enjoyed feeding her baby and holding her, rather than loathing feeding time was more important to me and more important for my kiddo.

This is my story...not everyone will have the same feelings, but they were mine. I applaud all of you who DO breastfeed, but it simply isn't in the cards for my fambly. :)

Kaiden'sMomma

02-10-2008, 01:02 AM

I'm not trying to be Ms. Negative here, but what worked for you won't always work for someone else. There ARE cons to breastfeeding, and I think it's horrid to say there aren't any, because that simply isn't true.

I did not breastfeed. I was completely against it from the beginning, as the idea of it weirded me out. To this day it gives me the heebies. I tried it *under the guidance of my meddling sister in law* and short story made shorter, I determined it definitely WAS NOT for me. Other women who do breastfeed don't bother me, and I don't mind if someone does it in front of me...it's just not for me.

In my case, formula feeding was the route to go. Having a mother who enjoyed feeding her baby and holding her, rather than loathing feeding time was more important to me and more important for my kiddo.

This is my story...not everyone will have the same feelings, but they were mine. I applaud all of you who DO breastfeed, but it simply isn't in the cards for my fambly. :)

Totally still appreciate your input. :yes Like I said a few posts back, my baby might hate my boobs. :lol

Steph*

02-10-2008, 01:02 AM

I personally dont believe that the bonding and attachment between a BF baby and mother is any stronger than a FF baby and mother. Its the strongest bond simply because its mother and baby.

I agree that there will always be a bond between mother & baby if the baby was BF or FF but I do think the bond is stronger BFing. It's a fact that the production of oxytocin during lactation increases parasympathetic activity, reduces anxiety to foster stronger bonding.

Steph*

02-10-2008, 01:05 AM

I'm not trying to be Ms. Negative here, but what worked for you won't always work for someone else. There ARE cons to breastfeeding, and I think it's horrid to say there aren't any, because that simply isn't true.

I did not breastfeed. I was completely against it from the beginning, as the idea of it weirded me out. To this day it gives me the heebies. I tried it *under the guidance of my meddling sister in law* and short story made shorter, I determined it definitely WAS NOT for me. Other women who do breastfeed don't bother me, and I don't mind if someone does it in front of me...it's just not for me.

In my case, formula feeding was the route to go. Having a mother who enjoyed feeding her baby and holding her, rather than loathing feeding time was more important to me and more important for my kiddo.

This is my story...not everyone will have the same feelings, but they were mine. I applaud all of you who DO breastfeed, but it simply isn't in the cards for my fambly. :)

If that's what you chose that's absolutely fine but I don't think that can be seen as a con, you know? You didn't want to and that's 100% your choice, not a con. :)
I guess I should say that IMO there are no cons when it comes to BFing your child to make sure they have the absolute best.

Kaiden'sMomma

02-10-2008, 01:11 AM

I understand your point of view, all of you! :D

aelsass

02-10-2008, 01:23 AM

If that's what you chose that's absolutely fine but I don't think that can be seen as a con, you know? You didn't want to and that's 100% your choice, not a con. :)
I guess I should say that IMO there are no cons when it comes to BFing your child to make sure they have the absolute best.

Yup:)

Lilbear911

02-10-2008, 01:52 AM

I started Bf-ing and then some crazy ass nurse gave my baby a bottle....... After that she wouldnt nurse again- we saw a lactation specialist and everything. It's great to breast feed- I'm all for it, and if you can AWESOME!! But if you can't- PLEASE don't let anyone make you feel bad for not doing it!! That's the worst!! Some women basically think that in not bf-ing you dont care for your childs health! There are good points to bottle feeding too (whether pumping, or formula)

1. Dad's get a chance to bond with the baby
2. It gives you a break- you can get something done (or sleep) while someone else can feed the baby
3. You dont have to wait for your milk to come in
4. You don't have to watch what you consume (caffenine, medication, etc)

Again- I'm by NO means trying to turn you away from breast feeding...but if for whatever reason you can't- bottle feeding isn't bad- and don't let anyone tell you other wise!!

Kaiden'sMomma

02-10-2008, 01:54 AM

I agree. And those pro's to bottles are great ones...especially the having time to sleep and the daddy getting to feed baby...(if that's even an issue for me. We'll see). :) Thanks!

PrincessBlue505

02-10-2008, 02:29 AM

I totally wanted to completely BF. In fact, I was so for it that I never considered having DD on formula, so I had no idea how much it cost and had never factored it into the budget. I supplemented with formula from the beginning because DD was such a big baby (almost 11 lbs) and needed more than I could produce. I did both for about 6 weeks when my milk started drying up, so then I went to formula. It was a shock to the budget cuz like I said before, it had never occured to me to even look at the price of it and see how it would fit into the budget cuz I thought I'd be able to BF exclusively.

The things I didn't like about BF was having to wear a bra to bed (sooo uncomfortable to me. I have really big boobs so they would shift at night and come out of the bras. Also, as they shifted at night, they'd move away from the nursing pad so I'd leak on my bra or I had to constantly shift them back into position on the pad. That was really irritating).

I also didn't like that DD would prefer to sip and use me as a pacifier than actively feed (she'd sip, fall asleep, sip, fall back asleep...and none of those tricks worked of trying to keep her awake by stripping her and poking at her and stuff so she'd eat-even the lactation consultant kind of gave up on that). Because of this, it'd take DD waaaaay longer to eat than when she was fed a bottle (probably because it was easier so she would eat while she was half asleep). For me, it took her way longer to get a meal BF than bottle feeding. And I'd get impatient sitting there all that time (it was hours for me due to the sipping)-I kept thinking that she'd be done already if she was drinking from a bottle. So it was less of a bonding experience for me because it took so long and I'd get irritated. I felt chained to the couch or where ever I was sitting to feed her.

I found that because of pumping (to build the milk supply and because I wasn't comfortable BF in public and chose to use a bottle when we were out and because I wanted other people to be able to feed and bond with her) that I still had dirty bottles to wash. Also, in addition to feeding with either a bottle or on the breast, I had to find time in addition to that to pump. DH was deployed, so I was on my own most of the time. I found I was too exhausted or just wanted a moment to myself instead of pumping if there was even a moment like that (DD was VERY needy and cried all the time so she was held quite a bit and I was beyond lucky when I could get in a 2 minute shower without her screaming the entire time).

Despite all this, I still think the benefits for the child outweigh any cons if u can do it. I will try BF again with my next, and hopefully it'll go better since I'll have more experience (and hopefully I'll have lost some weight so I'll have smaller, more managable boobs..lol).

Lilbear911

02-10-2008, 02:42 AM

Also- please don't think for a minute that you will not bond as well with your baby if you don't breast feed. I don't think that's a fair statement for anyone to make- but its one that is made to often!! No one can tell me they are closer to their child because they bf-ed and because I didn't. That's absurd!! My daughter is my whole life- she completes me more than I ever thought possible!!! My heart over flows with love for her 25 hours a day!!!!! (I realize there are only 24 hours in a day!) So- if I could give you ANY advice- don't what you think works best for you and your baby. Keep in mind though, bottle feeding will not cause you to not bond with your child.... (again, not trying to convince you...it just erks the crap out of me when people say that....)

Kaiden'sMomma

02-10-2008, 02:54 AM

Thank you both!!! I know, I am not a bad mother if I can't/don't BF.
Either way, I'm going to love and cherish my son. He'll love and cherish me, too.

mitziebella

02-10-2008, 03:40 AM

I never breastfeed my daughters. I was on meds that pervent me from breastfeeding my older daughter. Second one, it just did not work out for us.

My daughters has great immune systems
Neither one has had an ear infection (so far)
They have not had any serious sickness
My daughters are smart beyond their years.

I don't feel bad for not breastfeeding my daughters. I think that breastfeeding or not, if you have a healthy child then thats what makes a difference.

I do agree that not having a sink full of bottles would of been great, but i have an awesome DH who is great at keeping it empty for me. :)

Kaiden'sMomma

02-10-2008, 03:42 AM

I never breastfeed my daughters. I was on meds that pervent me from breastfeeding my older daughter. Second one, i just did not work out for us.

My daughters has great immune systems
Neither one has had an ear infection (so far)
They have not had any serious sickness
My my daughters are smarter then their years.

I don't feel bad for not breastfeeding my daughters. I think that breastfeeding or not, if you have a healthy child then thats what makes a difference.

I do agree that not having a sink full of bottles would of been great, but i have an awesome DH who is great at keeping it empty for me. :)
:wub Awwwww. And your girls are beautiful! Totally can't tell they weren't breast fed. :lol

mitziebella

02-10-2008, 03:46 AM

:wub Awwwww. And your girls are beautiful! Totally can't tell they weren't breast fed. :lol

Thank you! Regardless of your decision, its your choice and do whats best for you and your family.

Congrats on the baby boy. How i want a boy, but DH isn't ready...go figure..ha!

LaneyBug

02-10-2008, 09:14 AM

I haven't read the rest of the replies, I'll go back, but I wanted to share mine before I read them.

I did both, my DS wasn't able to BF so my first experience was with formula.
I prefer BFing completely! For us.
The only cons I can come up with for BFing are that it hurts the first two weeks, I mean, toe-curling pain at times. However, that goes away, and you forget about it, and it is so worth it. Sometimes the leaking can be a pain, but that subsides after the first couple of months too, as soon as your flow regulates.
The pros are amazing. There is just the peace and joy I can't even describe. Night feedings are much easier. Lose weight more quickly. Never have to mix formula. No washing bottles. I could go on and on.

Kaymara

02-10-2008, 10:16 AM

I reccomend trying it at least. There isnt really any "cons" persay to breastfeeding nor formula feeding. It is all food. Breast is best however and if you want to give it a go ahead I say do it. It has so many nutrients. Just dont feel sad or ashamed if you dont want to or you cannot (I had a medically diagnosed low supply) Because formula is food and is not bad for your child

resless_me

02-10-2008, 10:36 AM

the way i see it, for my personal situation, i will try it, and if it doesnt work out there is always formula. BUT you cant do formula and then breast milk. I dont think there should be any pressure to do either.

Theresa

02-10-2008, 10:39 AM

Our oldest ONLY had formula. I never even tried breastfeeding with her.

Our youngest ONLY had breastmilk and I nursed her exclusively for 6 months and then continued to nurse her until 22 months.

Both of my children are insanely smart and very healthy.

The negatives that I experienced with nursing was she was on me all.the.time. I nursed on demand and I felt like I always had a baby attached to me. I tried countless times to pump, but I could never get more than an ounce each time, so I gave that up. Another problem I encountered was a lot of plugged ducts. I think part of the problem was I produced too much milk. I also had mastitis twice, once in each breast and it was awful. However, I wouldn't trade my nursing experience for anything. Overall, I LOVED it.

It's also free, as opposed to the outlandish cost of formula.

taraw226

02-10-2008, 10:51 AM

I personally dont believe that the bonding and attachment between a BF baby and mother is any stronger than a FF baby and mother. Its the strongest bond simply because its mother and baby.

i agree with this. i tried nursing both girls (meagan for over 2 months, kylie was only for a couple of weeks because i had to go on medication for my back). with the size of my boobs you'd think i could feed a small army but my milk never really came in (never had engorgment or let down, the most i was ever able to pump was 3 oz, etc). nursing had me so completely stressed out it was not a bonding experience at all. i dreaded it. once i switched to formula i was much more relaxed and able to enjoy feedings/bond. (even with a sink full of bottles and $20/can formula lol).

as far as the whole "breastfed babies are healthier", they do get the antibodies from mom, but just because you don't nurse doesn't mean they'll get sick all the time. meagan is 4 and she's only had to go to the ped twice (other than her well baby/child exams), once for impetigo (thank you mall play area) and once for pink eye that she and kylie both picked got when we all had a virus. both girls get the occasional cold or virus, but neither of my kids has ever had an ear infection, strep, etc (knock on wood).

anyway, you have to do what's right for you and your baby. if it's breastfeeding, that's great, but if you don't BF for whatever reason it doesn't make you a lousy mom or anything.

good lord, can someone please stop me from using parentheses??? :wowsers

flangl18

02-10-2008, 10:54 AM

I never breast fed any of my kids nor was breast fed myself. We are all healthy, intelligent people. That being said, breast feeding is great for those who choose to do it, and if you don't, it doesn't make you a bad or uncaring mother either.

Theresa

02-10-2008, 11:04 AM

For the record...nursing didn't help me lose ANY weight. :lol And my D jugs went to DDD and are STILL DDD a year later. :rofl

Just saying...

phantomfg

02-10-2008, 11:08 AM

While I'm an advocate for BF, and I nursed for an extended time with my daughters (2 1/2 yrs for my first), I also support the mothers who couldn't or didn't BF. Either choice is valid and has NO bearing on your worth as a mother.

It's the first milk in the first few days that's particularly critical. After that, I believe that there are longterm benefits to the immune system of your child if you continue beyond that.

That said, despite the bonding and closeness and lack of bottles to clean, there is a commitment made by the mom that has to be accepted. You will likely leak sometimes on your clothes. You will sometimes have nipple soreness. You might get painfully full or even engorged if you don't nurse when you need to. You may also want your body back sooner than your child wants to return it to you. (That happened to me.) You may have days when you feel like a dairy cow :hehe.

But, looking back, I'm glad I did it. If I were you, I'd at least give it a try- if even for a month.

phantomfg

02-10-2008, 11:10 AM

Oh yeah, one more thing. After you've done that extended nursing, and you turn 40, you'll think about how you now need a boob job and a lift. :sigh

LindsayLin

02-10-2008, 11:40 AM

I loved bfing.

Its free, it's made JUST for your baby, its easy (no bottles to wash, formula to prepare), it helps you loose the baby weight.

My breasts did hurt at first but after about a week or so they were much better.

LindsayLin

02-10-2008, 11:43 AM

Fidzy

02-10-2008, 11:46 AM

No kids for me, but I was the only one that was really breastfed for awhile in my own family. I was sick a lot when I was little, but my mom said I was more snuggly than my brother and sister... whether it has to do with being held and BF all the time, i have no idea.

Darushka

02-10-2008, 12:09 PM

I just wanted to add, that breastfeeding is free. Which for me, on an E-3 salary, was a big plus. And, God gave woman breasts for only one purpose, and it's not for the father's enjoyment. ;)

navywifeplus3

02-10-2008, 12:27 PM

I have three kids. I bf my first for the first 4 months, but had to also use formula for supplementing. He was colic and I worked, so the combination of very little rest and taking the *mini-pill* dried up my supply with a quickness. I exclusively bf my second baby for the first 6 months, but I went back on the mini-pill and again the supply dried right up. I bf my youngest exclusively for the first year. Quite conventient to not have to worry about packing bottles and formula. No middle of the night stumbling to the kitchen for a bottle, just laid her beside me and that was that. Then there is the fact that you save a TON on formula, no bottles to wash. Here is another added bonus of bf, I gained 18 pounds while pregnant (still had 20 pounds left from baby 2), but by the time she was a year old and weaned, I had lost 53 pounds! :cp As far as immune systems go, my oldest was plagued with chronic ear infections until around 3 and he was hospitalized at 2 with RSV, but his heart murmur and colic were also attributing factors to his weak immune system. My second baby is now 7 and has had 3 ear infections in her entire life. She does suffer from seasonal allergies, but other than that is perfectly healthy. My youngest has asthma, controlled by meds, has various seasonal allergies, some learning delays (motor skills and speech), so my bf babies aren't exactly the stuff bf statistics are made of. If we were to have another baby (and we are not) I would definitely bf again. However, I do not judge those who choose to use formula for whatever reasons.

Oh the cons of bf:
Leaking in public, because baby slept through feeding
Leakin during sex
Waking up engorged because baby slept all night
In the case of my youngest, refused to take breast milk from bottle, so leaving her anywhere for more than an hour or 2 was not an option. (my older two took bottles just fine)

One more thing, if you do choose to bf and will be working, you will need to purchase a good pump. Trust me when I say you get what you pay for. Go cheap and you will end up with chapped nipples and frustration.

Kaiden'sMomma

02-10-2008, 06:40 PM

Thank you so much! (All of you). :D

mara_jade81

02-10-2008, 07:01 PM

There are no cons as far as I'm concerned but there are a ton of pros! The baby is getting the best thing for them, there's something special about nursing your baby... The contact or something, not sure how to explain it. It's free of course! :giggle No having to warm up bottles, mix formula, baby is hungry and the meal is prepared ;)

Not sure really what else to say, I never even thought about FF, everyone I knew had breastfed so I probably wouldn't have known what to do with formula :lol

Kaiden'sMomma

02-10-2008, 07:45 PM

:lol
Thanks for your input.

harrisonsdream

02-10-2008, 07:50 PM

no bottles including fixing and prepping bottles in the middle of hte night
nothing to bring with you when you go somewhere
it's free
i never had sore nipples because i was super diligent with her latch
your baby can still get exclusively breast milk by pumping (i highly recommend the medela pumps but you can also ask a lactation consultant for recommendations)
it's best for baby, your breast milk is perfect in every capacity provided you are eating decently

The Megster

02-10-2008, 07:52 PM

I fed DS from the breast for 5 weeks. At that point I had to switch to pumping cause I was making too much milk and he was vomiting it all up cause their natural instinct is to empty the breast. So I had to give him the portions myself. The $250 for a pump was much better than the price of formula if you ask me. Plus the spit up doesn't smell as bad as formula fed babies. :lmao

Steph*

02-10-2008, 08:10 PM

Thank you so much! (All of you). :D

I'm sure you'll make the best decision for you and your DS. :yes

harrisonsdream

02-10-2008, 08:10 PM

oh and the poop doesn't smell as bad

airmanssweetie

02-10-2008, 09:00 PM

I didnt BF. I didnt try it as it freaked me out. I know its natural- yada yada but it just wasnt for me even though i wish i wouldve tried it but im happy with how things have turned out. I didnt have a sink full of bottles and i wasnt breastfed and i very rarely get sick. Ive never had an ear infection etc. Jack has only had 2 colds in the 14mons of his life. B/f is not for everyone and if its not for you then thats fine. You should be 100% comfortable in whatever you choose to with your son. Your baby will be healthyand smart regardless of however you choose to feed him. I liked FF- never had a problem getting up every 2hrs -i made most of the bottles the night before which consisted of throwing 2-3 scoops of powder, fill it up to however many oz's he took ,shake them and tossed them in the fridge. Like I said- its all about what YOU are comfortable with hun.

airmanssweetie

02-10-2008, 09:00 PM

oh and the poop doesn't smell as bad

DS never had bad smelling poop and he was FF. I think it depends on the baby ;-)

Kaiden'sMomma

02-10-2008, 09:10 PM

:D Thanks!!!

DakotaCowgirl

02-10-2008, 10:29 PM

When I was pregnant, I didn't want to nurse more then 2 weeks. My mom told me to stick with it for at least 3 months. I did and it was the best thing for us. This was my pro con list at that time.

Pro: Free, good health benifits, no bottles, good poop, good for me and baby (breast cancer reduction risk), Bonding time, formula burps STINK!!! Poops stinky too right away where BF babies tend to be sweeter smelling,

Con: Daddy really can't do it, breast pain, breast pads, the embaresment of nursing in public, engorgement, full time job, Formula is easier

For me it was the heath benifits for me and baby and the cost of formula that made the decision. If you decide to BF, stick with it for 2 months at least.

Good Luck. Good job on staying informed.

wife-n-mommy

02-10-2008, 10:58 PM

I breastfed for 18 months! Never had to wash bottles, never "forgot" the baby's food since it was attached :), Kylee has never really been sick and even the couple of times she did catch a little cold or something it cleared up really fast because of all the antibodies my breastmilk provided her, I am smaller now than befor I got pregnant (she sucked out all the baby fat in the first month...lol), I never had to wake up in the middle of the night and fumble for a bottle and formula, If she was crying all I ever had to do was stick my boob in her mouth... lol

cons...can't really think of any

Kaiden'sMomma

02-10-2008, 11:02 PM

Hahaha. Thanks!!! "If she was crying all I had to do was stick my boob in her mouth"...goodness. :lol

HuskerFan

02-10-2008, 11:13 PM

I did both BF and FF with DD and I have decided that I am pro-breastpump, LOL! I nursed her for a week and it just simply did not work for us (and it hurt like hell!), so I borrowed a pump. I pumped until I dried up and then went to formula. Pumping (for me) was the best way to go, DD was still getting breastmilk and all "the good stuff" and I could leave her with my mom and run to the store for diapers, etc, without worrying if she would be screaming with hunger when I got back.

Pros: great for you and baby (even if you only do it for a little while), no mixing and measuring required, bonding time, its free!

Cons: it hurts!, noone else can feed the baby while you *insert random activity here*, random leaks.

vivalacrap

02-10-2008, 11:23 PM

I absolutely think that if you feel creepy about breastfeeding then you shouldn't do it. Its not a life or death issue. Everyone says it makes you bond, but it can also cause you to resent the fact that you can never get away from the baby-- which contradicts the "bond" IMO. Maybe its just because I had a horrible pregnancy but I needed that break. If I had been stuck feeding her I would have completely resented it and it would have alienated me from her and my husband both. So emotionally, I couldn't handle it. We all turned out fine. Its a personal choice.

Green~Mammy

02-10-2008, 11:53 PM

DS never had bad smelling poop and he was FF. I think it depends on the baby ;-)

LOL I agree I have had two kiddos one FF one BF and poop smells like poop regardless of what you are feeding them. Jacob has had some foul poops.

Bex

02-11-2008, 12:00 AM

you can have time to sleep and have daddy feed the baby while BF... it's called pumping ;) i can't think of a single con to breastfeeding... i won't repeat all the good things the ladies on here have said.

bettyboop604

02-11-2008, 12:18 AM

I breastfed all of mine for about 15 months a piece that is 3.75 years of my life that I have been a human milk machine.

Does it hurt - It can, but it gets less when you have a proper latch and there are some salves you can use... my nipples are still attached. :)

I never had to shell out for formula, wait for a bottle...

My babies are all quite big. There are no allergies, no funky ills... was it the boob juice? I think so. I truly believe that since I was able to, I had to.
I think that the very least, you need to nurse for a few days so the baby can get the colostrum (first milk). It has the bulk of those precious antibodies.

Good luck with all of your choices.

If it makes you feel any better, it gets so much harder. :)
The older they get, the more you have to decide... it never ends.

vivalacrap

02-11-2008, 12:26 AM

rofl. to say there are no cons to anything is ridiculous. There are cons to EVERYTHING! There are cons to sex, being rich, being a rockstar, etc, etc, etc. to believe that there is no con to something is to be looking at the issue on a completely shallow level.

Steph*

02-11-2008, 12:39 AM

There are no cons to me. I don't find it ridiculous to want your child to have what's best for them. :dunno

mara_jade81

02-11-2008, 01:04 AM

Well call me shallow for not thinking there is a con to breastfeeding my child ;) I won't say more because then I'm sure someone will get undies in a wad.

Steph*

02-11-2008, 01:05 AM

Well call me shallow for not thinking there is a con to breastfeeding my child ;) I won't say more because then I'm sure someone will get undies in a wad.

Seriously :lol

Kaiden'sMomma

02-11-2008, 01:11 AM

Ohhhhhhhhhh. ladies, ladies. :lol
Thanks for ALL of your advice and opinions!!!! :hugs

Wicked

02-11-2008, 04:03 AM

Oh geez. Don't get mad cuz someone else thinks that there are cons. For goodness sake. :lol I agree, there ARE pros and cons to everything. That's life. :yes

My SIL has cracked, bleeding nipples from breastfeeding with all three of her kids. She ended up getting infections with two of them. So, there is a con for you. Take care of your boobies for fear of crackage and junk. :P

mara_jade81

02-11-2008, 01:32 PM

DakotaCowgirl

02-11-2008, 02:13 PM

MissAmyB

02-11-2008, 02:45 PM

I'm 100% for bf'ing. I bf'd my dd until she was 11 months, and my ds until he was 1.

Bf'ing with my dd hurt like a mother for the first almost 6 weeks, but to be honest, I was doing it wrong. I took a bf'ing class before she was born, but frankly, without an infant to "practice" with, it was pointless. It was mostly about the benefits of bf'ing. Well I already knew all that, it was like preaching to the choir, what I need to know was How to do it, not Why to do it.

Bf'ing my ds was a piece of cake. The "pain" never really went beyond what I would call slightly uncomfortable, and it only lasted about a week or so.

For me, the pros were convience. I never had to heat up a bottle in the middle of the night, I could feed my baby the second they cried. I never had to pack up water and formula and bottles when I wanted to take my baby out. And while I didn't have a problem bf'ing in public, lots of places have nursing rooms, the food court in the mall, some of the department stores, Babies R Us, all of them have private rooms for nursing mothers.

I never had to wash bottles, and I never had to pay a small fortune for formula. And OMG is it expensive! In fact, the money was one of the main reasons why I stuck with it for the whole year.

The only con for me was not being able to go very far from either my baby or a breast pump. But for my dd, that wasn't too much of a problem, she was my first, and I wasn't ready to to go anywhere without her, or really let anyone watch her until after she was down for the night. With my ds, it was a little harder, but I considered it well worth it.

One thing I've noticed is I've heard many women say they wish they hadn't given up bf'ing so soon, or they wish they had tried it. I've never heard anyone say, Boy, I wish I hadn't nursed my baby, or I wish I would have quit bf'ing sooner.

So if you are thinking about it, give it a try! You won't regret at least trying.

Jennygirl

02-11-2008, 04:18 PM

I tried it and it didnt work for us...

So my little man gets Formula.
1-He doesnt have smelly poop
2-I TOTALLY GET TONS OF BONDING AND LOVEY TIME! when he is eating we make eye contact and talk and smile at each other. He is totally attached to me, so I dont think that you have a better bond with your child.
3-I never forget his food?!?! I dunno who would
4-Just because you have to wash bottles doesnt mean you get less time with your baby. When my DS goes down for a nap, I wash and make them.
5-My nephew was ff and he is 7. He is super duper healthy and has never been sick. He is tall and skinny and they want him to skip a grade.

I think both have pro's and con's, really. You will know what you want to do when your little one gets here.

Treysgirl

02-11-2008, 04:32 PM

I BF'ed my ds for the first four weeks, and it didn't work for us. I'd recommend at least trying, and if it doesn't work, then you go to formula. My DH and 2 of his brothers were FF'ed and the two brothers are 6'4 and 6'2 never really had any health problems and my DH would have been over 6 ft if he didn't break so many bones. My sister was BF and she was constantly sick the first few years of her life.

airmanssweetie

02-11-2008, 07:42 PM

Steph*

02-11-2008, 07:59 PM

*Sarah*

02-11-2008, 11:36 PM

I pumped for the 1st 6 weeks with my oldest cause she would never latch on. Once I went back to school( highschool) and work, I just did not have the time or energy to continue to pump. With my middle and youngest i bf both of them for about 6 months each.

To me BF was easier.

I work in CDC in the infant room and i am pretty sure most of our babys are breast baby's. Their mothers are AD and they still find time to pump. I had a madela with my last two and that helped tremendously. the pump i had with my 1st baby sucked. Good luck with your decision.

mackenziesmommy

02-12-2008, 01:01 AM

I agree that there will always be a bond between mother & baby if the baby was BF or FF but I do think the bond is stronger BFing. It's a fact that the production of oxytocin during lactation increases parasympathetic activity, reduces anxiety to foster stronger bonding.

don't agree at all...I have a stronger bond with dd than with ds and dd was ff from about 6 days and ds was bf until 10 months when he decided he was done.

mackenziesmommy

02-12-2008, 01:04 AM

Yay! I like these answers.
I have totally been planning on breast feeding. Of course, I'm not unrealistic in thinking that nothing will go wrong! Maybe my baby will hate my boobs. Who really knows??? Lol.

I just want to say I am SOOOOOOOOOo glad you are going into this with an open mind...you also know that things happen where bfing isn't best or doesn't work and that will keep you from beating yourself up about not being able to do it...with my dd she wouldn't latch so I pumped for 6 weeks until we found out why she was SCREAMING like she was dying everytime she ate...she was allergic to milk and soy proteins so everytime she'd get a bottle of BM we were making her sick to her stomach...I beat myself up for almost a whole month for being a "failure" until I realized I was doing what was best for my dd by giving her formula...she is a happy healthy 2 1/2 year old now!

Kaiden'sMomma

02-12-2008, 03:08 AM

I just want to say I am SOOOOOOOOOo glad you are going into this with an open mind...you also know that things happen where bfing isn't best or doesn't work and that will keep you from beating yourself up about not being able to do it...with my dd she wouldn't latch so I pumped for 6 weeks until we found out why she was SCREAMING like she was dying everytime she ate...she was allergic to milk and soy proteins so everytime she'd get a bottle of BM we were making her sick to her stomach...I beat myself up for almost a whole month for being a "failure" until I realized I was doing what was best for my dd by giving her formula...she is a happy healthy 2 1/2 year old now!

Wow!!! I can't believe that. It was totally not your fault. :hugs
Thanks for your story!

mitziebella

02-12-2008, 08:25 AM

We never paid into formula. We always had WIC, so FF wasn't expensive for us at all.

I have an awesome bond with both my girls, heck, both was attached to my hip for the first year of their life... So its crazy to say that formula feed babies does not have a strong enough bond as breast feed babies. Thats bull IMO.

Being a mom who did not get to breast feed, it make me a bit mad to hear that "if" my kids we BF'd babies they would probably be stronger, smarter, taller, healthier...thats a bunch of bull if you ask me. My kids are awesome kids and i couldn't have asked more from two formual feed babies. (i am not talking about anyone in specific...so like someone said don't get your undies in a wad).

OP, i am just glad that you are going into it with an open mind.

harrisonsdream

02-12-2008, 11:33 AM

There are no cons to me. I don't find it ridiculous to want your child to have what's best for them. :dunno

Well call me shallow for not thinking there is a con to breastfeeding my child ;) I won't say more because then I'm sure someone will get undies in a wad.

I'm not mad because someone thinks there are cons, I'm not mad at all. But it's stupid for someone to laugh at people who don't see any cons and think that we are ridiculous and have a shallow view of the issue.

She can think there are cons and that is fine but why should anyone be laughed at because they don't personally see any cons?

:yes

vivalacrap

02-12-2008, 12:50 PM

I'm not mad because someone thinks there are cons, I'm not mad at all. But it's stupid for someone to laugh at people who don't see any cons and think that we are ridiculous and have a shallow view of the issue.

She can think there are cons and that is fine but why should anyone be laughed at because they don't personally see any cons?

SIGH. I wasn't laughing at anyone. How can you possibly assume I am laughing over the INTERNET? Aside from that you are openly mocking people who do not or cannot breastfeed because apparently breastfeeding is the only way to prove that you are a good mother.

There is more than ONE WAY to parent and just because someone doesn't do it exactly the way you would doesn't make it wrong by default. No one here is a fucking pariah of mothering.

:hugehug

Don't worry. Some people have no tact.

Yes because it is SO TACTFUL to tell someone who doesn't want to breastfeed that they just must be a bad mother because there are no cons to it. :arg

sweetheartjess

02-12-2008, 12:56 PM

Brandi

02-12-2008, 12:58 PM

The pros for us were that it was readily available without having to prepare anything, it was nutritionally best and provided important antibodies and it was free.

The cons for us were that the stress from it caused me not not be able to bond as much as I did when we switched to formula. So, for us, that bonding thing didn't hold true. Bonding was MUCH easier and much more relaxed AFTER we stopped BFing. My milk production was through the roof, so I constantly soaked through shirts and bras, I always got engorged, it was painful and it was stressful.

I breastfed all of them and eventually switched to formula with all of them b/c I really didn't enjoy breastfeeding at all. I ONLY did it for the time period that I did b/c I knew it was important for them to get those antibodies, especially from the first few weeks of colostrum and milk. Once their immune systems were better and they were a bit older, I stopped.

Erika

02-12-2008, 01:09 PM

Yes because it is SO TACTFUL to tell someone who doesn't want to breastfeed that they just must be a bad mother because there are no cons to it. :arg

No where did anyone say that. They can feel there are no cons to breastfeeding and much as someone who formula feeds can feel there is no con to that. ;)

I have tons of pros, all that were listed already. My cons were getting mastitis, it can be exhausting, pain at the beginning, the normal stuff. But even despite any issues I had it is MORE than worth it to me to continue breastfeeding. :)

Steph*

02-12-2008, 01:46 PM

SIGH. I wasn't laughing at anyone. How can you possibly assume I am laughing over the INTERNET? Aside from that you are openly mocking people who do not or cannot breastfeed because apparently breastfeeding is the only way to prove that you are a good mother.

There is more than ONE WAY to parent and just because someone doesn't do it exactly the way you would doesn't make it wrong by default. No one here is a fucking pariah of mothering.

Yes because it is SO TACTFUL to tell someone who doesn't want to breastfeed that they just must be a bad mother because there are no cons to it. :arg

1. Maybe we took it as YOU laughing at US because of the whole "rofl" -- uh maybe?
2. None of the pro breastfeeding moms EVER mock FF moms, geezus. If we feel there are NO cons, then that's what we feel.
3. I have never, not once, said that FF moms are BAD mothers.
Don't put words into people's mouths.

You know, it's funny how the FF moms get all riled up and upset when facts are presented. I can't help but think that some form of guilt is still lingering and that's what makes someone so upset. Especially when none of the above was said. :dunno

vivalacrap

02-12-2008, 02:29 PM

nothing can replace the attachment that BF provides for both mom and baby.

So moms that formula feed aren't as bonded with their babies. They must not love their babies like the BF moms do. Right? Yeah, thats not insulting at all.

I agree that there will always be a bond between mother & baby if the baby was BF or FF but I do think the bond is stronger BFing. It's a fact that the production of oxytocin during lactation increases parasympathetic activity, reduces anxiety to foster stronger bonding.

Again, moms who don't BF are missing out on some creepy spiritual bonding experience with their kids.

its best for baby breast milk is perfect in every capacity provided you are eating decently

So if you don't BF you aren't doing whats "best for baby" meaning that you must not care about your baby because you are denying her the best diet. And somehow formula isn't in any way specially formulated for the best interests of a child. Yeah, not insulting at all.

My babies are all quite big. There are no allergies, no funky ills... was it the boob juice? I think so. I truly believe that since I was able to, I had to.
I think that the very least, you need to nurse for a few days so the baby can get the colostrum (first milk). It has the bulk of those precious antibodies.

1. Your kids don't have allergies and obviously that is attributed exclusively to the fact that you BFed. Meaning moms who don't BF must not care if their babies get sick. Yeah not insulting.

2. "I truly believe that since I was able to, I had to." -- meaning if you were able to and didn't you would have considered yourself a bad mother. Also totally not insulting to anyone who made a different choice.

There are no cons to me. I don't find it ridiculous to want your child to have what's best for them. :dunno

There are no cons meaning anyone who doesn't do it is just stupid and doesn't want their baby to have whats best for them. Also, not insulting.

You know what, you guys are totally right! You didn't say anything that could be construed as insulting to a mother who doesn't breastfeed. Unless of course not bonding with your child, denying them nourishment and dooming them to a lifetime of allergies and disease makes you a bad mother. But you know, "nobody said that" because its obviously your choice to decide if you love your baby enough to BF them or not.

1. Maybe we took it as YOU laughing at US because of the whole "rofl" -- uh maybe?

Or maybe I was simply laughing and not actually laughing at YOU. Gaw who's taking it personally? LOL!

2. None of the pro breastfeeding moms EVER mock FF moms, geezus. If we feel there are NO cons, then that's what we feel.

Denying that there actually are cons is actually mocking by nature. What you are basically saying is that there are absolutely no cons so anyone who doesn't do it is just ridiculous because there is obviously no valid reason not to. Which is completely mocking and rude.

3. I have never, not once, said that FF moms are BAD mothers.
Don't put words into people's mouths.

Nobody said it in so many words. What kind of idiot do you take me for? Do you actually think I am completely incapable (and that everyone else is incapable) of reading through the lines? You don't have to say something to insinuate it. And thats exactly whats happening.

You know, it's funny how the FF moms get all riled up and upset when facts are presented. I can't help but think that some form of guilt is still lingering and that's what makes someone so upset. Especially when none of the above was said. :dunno

Case in point. Saying out loud that FF moms are getting upset because you are presenting facts about BFing is completely mocking. And suggesting that if someone has a problem with your high and mighty attitude because they have some sort of deeply seeded emotional problem is also mocking.

And by the way, there are no FACTS about "bonding." Nobody can judge the bond that you feel for your child. There is no literature that really says there are no cons to breastfeeding. Acting like these abstract opinions are FACTS is just another way to mock people.

vivalacrap

02-12-2008, 02:32 PM

Steph*

02-12-2008, 03:00 PM

Believe me, I'm not taking anything you say personally.

A con is something that would sway your opinion, right? Well, I've never had bleeding, cracked, or any other injury to my nipples. I've never had mastisis, I've never had a hard time going out and BF in public, I've had my DH help feed her a pumped bottle. So no there are not cons for everyone. The OP asked for cons, I have none. Should I make some up so you can feel better and not think I'm mocking anyone?

I brought up the guilt thing because what else could be the issue? Everyone was giving their opinions and giving facts without anyone getting upset. Then you come in and "rofl" at how ridiculous we are for thinking there aren't any cons ... so yeah?

also "creepy spiritual bonding experience"? who's mocking who now?

Kelsey

02-12-2008, 03:06 PM

bettyboop604

02-12-2008, 03:07 PM

Vivalacrap...

Okay...

First of all, I did not ask for you to drag me into whatever tirade you have decided to launch. A mommy-to-be asked about breastfeeding and I gave my OPINION. If I said "I believe that the I should walk on my hands." Would I be saying that all feet walkers were horrid people... NO!

The whole potato chip analogy was just an ridiculous one. Eating potato chips does not benefit anyone, while no one can refute that breastfeeding does benefit the baby.

In answer to your question, yes, for me I would have felt like I was less of a mommy if I did not at least try to go the natural way and breastfeed the babies I had. I was a young mommy who already had cards stacked against me. My first baby was tiny and I wanted to do everything I could. I loved him. Did I love him more or less than a formula feeder... that again is just ridiculous.
Every mommy loves their baby, and everyone has their own way of expressing that love. It does not mean that anyone is right or wrong...
So long as no one is hurting the baby, then whatever works. The moment you hold that baby, you are in love. How you choose to feed, dress, what ever is your business.

Get over it. You are for formula, good for you. Take your perky, non bleeding boobs and leave us saggy, sore ladies alone.

There are so many other issues when it comes to parenting. Its not easy. I reminded the mommy to be that there will be so many challenges, choices to face. My oldest is entering the teens shortly... breasfeeding is truly one of the smaller choices I have had to make.

MissAmyB

02-12-2008, 03:08 PM

its best for baby breast milk is perfect in every capacity provided you are eating decently

So if you don't BF you aren't doing whats "best for baby" meaning that you must not care about your baby because you are denying her the best diet. And somehow formula isn't in any way specially formulated for the best interests of a child. Yeah, not insulting at all.

I'm sorry, but you are making an assumption here. Harrisonsdream didn't say if you don't bf you aren't doing whats best for your baby. She's stating a scientific fact, breast milk is best for baby, yes, it is better for baby than formula. Every single formula manufacturer admits that breast milk is best, it's not even up for debate.

That being said, formula will nourish a baby, make a baby grow, keep a baby healthy. And no one has said otherwise, not even the pro-breastfeeders.

Brandi

02-12-2008, 03:40 PM

I brought up the guilt thing because what else could be the issue? Everyone was giving their opinions and giving facts without anyone getting upset. Then you come in and "rofl" at how ridiculous we are for thinking there aren't any cons ... so yeah?

You've mentioned guilt in almost every BF vs FF debate or discussion, which is fine if that's what you really believe. I just wanted to let you know that my defensiveness has never come from guilt- I stopped b/c I WANTED to stop.

My defensiveness comes from the way I am almost talked down to by some people who chose to BF... the tone, the wording of responses in a way that isn't 'in your face' rude but with a definite rude undertone, the whole "I didn't say BFers are better moms" but still insinuate it through out the entire post... and I'm not pointing fingers at anyone in this post b/c my experience with this debate isn't just on this board. It happens on every board that this topic ever comes up on.

I'm just trying to let you know that some people's defensiveness and hurt feelings are not from guilt. You said you don't know what else it could be, so I"m telling you that it's the way a lot of BFers talk to moms who choose to FF. What is even more angering to me is that some BFers will say "My problem isn't with anyone who COULDN'T breastfeed, it's with the people who could but didn't" which I also think is ridiculous and very houlier than thou. That's like saying I'm disgusted with a mom who chooses to give her child a cookie at 2 years old just because I decided to wait until my kid was 5 or something.

Different strokes for different folks, but I have a serious amount of irritation when it comes to people talking down to me because they think they're a better mom based on what they gave their infant to drink.

Steph*

02-12-2008, 04:10 PM

You've mentioned guilt in almost every BF vs FF debate or discussion, which is fine if that's what you really believe. I just wanted to let you know that my defensiveness has never come from guilt- I stopped b/c I WANTED to stop.

My defensiveness comes from the way I am almost talked down to by some people who chose to BF... the tone, the wording of responses in a way that isn't 'in your face' rude but with a definite rude undertone, the whole "I didn't say BFers are better moms" but still insinuate it through out the entire post... and I'm not pointing fingers at anyone in this post b/c my experience with this debate isn't just on this board. It happens on every board that this topic ever comes up on.

I'm just trying to let you know that some people's defensiveness and hurt feelings are not from guilt. You said you don't know what else it could be, so I"m telling you that it's the way a lot of BFers talk to moms who choose to FF. What is even more angering to me is that some BFers will say "My problem isn't with anyone who COULDN'T breastfeed, it's with the people who could but didn't" which I also think is ridiculous and very houlier than thou. That's like saying I'm disgusted with a mom who chooses to give her child a cookie at 2 years old just because I decided to wait until my kid was 5 or something.

Different strokes for different folks, but I have a serious amount of irritation when it comes to people talking down to me because they think they're a better mom based on what they gave their infant to drink.

That's fine and I completely understand. I do get frustrated when people talk down to me as well. It happens all the time. I remember saying on here that I don't believe in CIO, ever. I believe you were one of them to laugh and say "Yeah wait until she's older" or something like that. :dunno

I just have issues with being laughed at for my beliefs, I've never laughed at anyone else's. I do always post what I think is best for MY child, because well I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't think it was, you know? :lol

When I post facts/beliefs whatever I'm in no way trying to mock other people. That's what it all comes down to. If I'm mocking you, I promise I'll say something like "HAHAHA are you serious, that's RIDICULOUS, you must be an idiot!" :hehe

Theresa

02-12-2008, 04:24 PM

Bottom line, your baby will thrive either way. Either with formula or with breastmilk. They both serve the same purpose. :dunno

MontanaSweetie

02-12-2008, 04:33 PM

You've mentioned guilt in almost every BF vs FF debate or discussion, which is fine if that's what you really believe. I just wanted to let you know that my defensiveness has never come from guilt- I stopped b/c I WANTED to stop.

My defensiveness comes from the way I am almost talked down to by some people who chose to BF... the tone, the wording of responses in a way that isn't 'in your face' rude but with a definite rude undertone, the whole "I didn't say BFers are better moms" but still insinuate it through out the entire post... and I'm not pointing fingers at anyone in this post b/c my experience with this debate isn't just on this board. It happens on every board that this topic ever comes up on.

I'm just trying to let you know that some people's defensiveness and hurt feelings are not from guilt. You said you don't know what else it could be, so I"m telling you that it's the way a lot of BFers talk to moms who choose to FF. What is even more angering to me is that some BFers will say "My problem isn't with anyone who COULDN'T breastfeed, it's with the people who could but didn't" which I also think is ridiculous and very houlier than thou. That's like saying I'm disgusted with a mom who chooses to give her child a cookie at 2 years old just because I decided to wait until my kid was 5 or something.

Different strokes for different folks, but I have a serious amount of irritation when it comes to people talking down to me because they think they're a better mom based on what they gave their infant to drink.

:hail

I've NEVER felt guilty for not continuing to breastfeed. I BF my son for 3 weeks and I personally could not take it anymore. He did just fine on formula, he's healthy, and I have zero guilt about the choice I made!

Jennygirl

02-12-2008, 04:33 PM

I agree with brandi...

I am so F*IN sick of coming to this site and talking about things and TOLD THAT I HAVE GUILT BECAUSE I DIDNT F*IN breastfeed. HOW DARE PEOPLE say that I have guilt. YOU SHOULD WALK A MILE IN SOMEONES SHOES BEFORE THAT CARD IS PLAYED. Do you know right after I had my son my husbad could have died from his sugar levels and was in the hospital. I was alone here until my parents got her dealing with depression and a sick husband. Do you think that maybe STRESS played an issue in my milk production?

I love my child to death. He is so attached to us. yes I wish i could have breastfed, but you know what, i had stresses from worrying about my husband.

So maybe people should stop saying that we have guilt.

Mommy2Bailey

02-12-2008, 04:45 PM

Steph*

02-12-2008, 04:47 PM

I was referring to people being guilty when they get all defensive when the BF/FF debate comes up. People can state facts/beliefs/opinions but then someone always gets rude and "rofl"-ing at people. THAT'S what I was talking about.

& honestly, Jennygirl, you get so upset when this issue comes up. I get it, I've never called you a bad mom or anything. You should step back from these types of posts if they bother you THIS much.

pilotgirl

02-12-2008, 04:49 PM

No one in my family was breastfed. There are four kids in my family. None of us have allergies, diabetes, asthma.... nothing.

Make any choice you like.

Jennygirl

02-12-2008, 04:50 PM

And maybe you should stop saying people feel guilty. Maybe thats what pisses me off. You dont know what people go through. Who said that you have the right to say those things?

Jennygirl

02-12-2008, 04:50 PM

Maybe you should leave these posts alone then.

Steph*

02-12-2008, 04:52 PM

Maybe you should leave these posts alone then.

I'm not the one getting upset :lol

Steph*

02-12-2008, 04:53 PM

I was referring to people being guilty when they get all defensive when the BF/FF debate comes up. People can state facts/beliefs/opinions but then someone always gets rude and "rofl"-ing at people. THAT'S what I was talking about.

And maybe you should stop saying people feel guilty. Maybe thats what pisses me off. You dont know what people go through. Who said that you have the right to say those things?

I can keep repeating it if you like?

Jennygirl

02-12-2008, 04:53 PM

Yeah because you think you are the perfect mother always playing the guilt card.

Maybe you should think about what you say.

Steph*

02-12-2008, 04:55 PM

Wow, I have NEVER said I'm the perfect mother. Far from it.

You know what, I'm not going to bother even going at it with you. Not worth it since you obviously have no clue what you're talking about.

Steph*

02-12-2008, 04:58 PM

& hey, thanks for adding in personal insults! :tu

rosebud*

02-12-2008, 04:58 PM

Michelle

02-12-2008, 04:58 PM

I have to agree with Steph on this one.

What it boils down to is everyone needs to make the decision to BF or FF on what works best for them and their child. What's ultimately the most important thing is that both mom and baby are happy and healthy.

Jennygirl

02-12-2008, 05:00 PM

1. Maybe we took it as YOU laughing at US because of the whole "rofl" -- uh maybe?
2. None of the pro breastfeeding moms EVER mock FF moms, geezus. If we feel there are NO cons, then that's what we feel.
3. I have never, not once, said that FF moms are BAD mothers.
Don't put words into people's mouths.

You know, it's funny how the FF moms get all riled up and upset when facts are presented. I can't help but think that some form of guilt is still lingering and that's what makes someone so upset. Especially when none of the above was said. :dunno

You just said it right there...You just say that we have guilt because we didnt breastfeed. And you say that ALL THE TIME. Maybe FF people wouldnt get so upset if that wasnt thrown in our faces.

Steph*

02-12-2008, 05:04 PM

harrisonsdream

02-12-2008, 05:06 PM

I'm sorry, but you are making an assumption here. Harrisonsdream didn't say if you don't bf you aren't doing whats best for your baby. She's stating a scientific fact, breast milk is best for baby, yes, it is better for baby than formula. Every single formula manufacturer admits that breast milk is best, it's not even up for debate.

That being said, formula will nourish a baby, make a baby grow, keep a baby healthy. And no one has said otherwise, not even the pro-breastfeeders.

EXACTLY even your doctor will tell you and formula manufacturers tell you breast is best.

Jennygirl

02-12-2008, 05:07 PM

It doesnt make me feel better...But why do you have to say that?

Do you think that I didnt want to breastfeed? Do you think I just chose to not do it?

Im sorry, but it ticks me off when people say that FF feel guilty and thats why we get upset. There are reasons people cant do it.

Im sorry if I offended you or hurt you, but I wanted to just let it known that there are reasons that people cant, and its not a guilt issue that some get upset.

harrisonsdream

02-12-2008, 05:07 PM

Also, what other activity would you EVER do that would cause your nipples to bleed and you wouldn't consider that a con??? Bleeding nipples is a side effect that I would consider NEGATIVE and a CON. Maybe you guys LIKE bleeding nipples, I don't know... but if I ate a bag of chips and they made my nipples bleed I'm pretty sure I would quit eating those chips.

well for me breastfeeding went swimmingly from the start, never had bleeding or cracked nipples so that's not a con for me. does it happen sure but for me that wasn't because it didn't happen.

Steph*

02-12-2008, 05:09 PM

Jennygirl

02-12-2008, 05:10 PM

Do you think I don't know that? I'm aware. If you read back a few pages I said it's every womans' choice 100% on what she WANTS to do.

And again I said Im sorry, but before anyone says those things, they should walk a mile in someones shoes.

How would someone feel when they had something like what happened to me happen and then it just didnt work out? It sucks.

jeepgirl

02-12-2008, 05:13 PM

I am for breast feeding....my oldest daughter did it for only 6 weeks, i tired to breast feed and pump cause everyone wanted to give the bottle to the first grandchild...
she would take a whole bottle in no time...i couldnt keep up...so i gave up...
she was constantly sick, ear infections, sinus infections....
i had my second one she wanted nothing to do with a bottle or a pacifier, wouldnt take anything but me...i worked part time so i was able to nurse her....i did it for 2 years 3 months, she stopped on her own, after a year it was just nap time and night time...dont think i am crzy, it was good....she is 10 and has only been on antibiotics 1 time and is rarely sick....
i am for breast feeding, screw what anyone else thinks do what you want and need to do...

Lilbear911

02-12-2008, 05:21 PM

I keep noticing that a lot of people are saying that FF babies get sick more often the BF babies... My daughter has been sick once...She got the rotovirsus from another baby who was BF...My DD was FF.... Just because a baby if FF doesn't neccesarily mean they will get sick more often.... Actually, in my experience, I've known more BF babies who had serious illnesses than FF babies... GRANTED that's just my experience. But I don't think that's really an argument as to why someone should or should not breastfeed. Or the fact that a mom bonds better w/ her baby if she BF's.... No one can tell me they bonded better with their child because they BF and because I didn't.... Let's just focus on the fact EVERY baby is different. EVERY mom is different. EVERY sitution is different. The only thing that matters is you love your child with EVERYTHING you've got!!! And that you be the best mom you can be! Whether it be nursing, fomula, co-sleeping, having them sleep in their on crib from day one. IT DOESN"T MATTER as long as your raising your child to the fullest!! And as long as you love your child with all your heart...Really, what more can you ask for from a mother??

mackenziesmommy

02-12-2008, 05:32 PM

Kaiden'sMomma

02-12-2008, 05:34 PM

Well. First of all...I knew there was reason I posted this in the debate section! It took 11 pages, but people started debating. :lol
I really appreciate everybody's input and opinions. I'd just like to say that I think BF and FF are both great things...as long as my baby gets fed and is happy and healthy, then I'll be happy. :) I'm sorry that some ladies got so mad...I don't think anybody should be insulted for whether or not they BF! I know I'm going to try, but it might not work out! Maybe my son will hate my boobs! Then when he gets older and finally interested in girls...I'll make fun of him, because he didn't like boobs as a baby. :roflmao
Anyway. Thanks for all of your input. I really, really appreciate it! Thanks to all of you who sent me PM's with facts about BF and FF babies as well. :D
Thanks to all!

mara_jade81

02-12-2008, 05:51 PM

SIGH. I wasn't laughing at anyone. How can you possibly assume I am laughing over the INTERNET? Aside from that you are openly mocking people who do not or cannot breastfeed because apparently breastfeeding is the only way to prove that you are a good mother.

There is more than ONE WAY to parent and just because someone doesn't do it exactly the way you would doesn't make it wrong by default. No one here is a fucking pariah of mothering.

Yes because it is SO TACTFUL to tell someone who doesn't want to breastfeed that they just must be a bad mother because there are no cons to it. :arg

Well I guess I assumed you were laughing because you wrote ROFL at the beginning of your post. Last I knew in internet speak that meant rolling on the floor laughing... Or maybe it's just changed.

Second of all I NEVER EVER mocked anyone who didn't or couldn't breastfeed, if anyone is assuming anything or reading something into something it is you. I never said anywhere that breastfeeding was the only way to be a good mother either. I said that I PERSONALLY did not see any cons to breastfeeding. I never said that for you or anyone else that there wouldn't be, I said PERSONALLY. Sorry you didn't understand the meaning of that word.

You mocked openly the people who didn't see any cons though by saying we had a shallow view of the issue. So do not point fingers. I never had cracked or bleeding nipples, I never felt "stuck" (to use your words) feeding my child by breastfeeding. So no, I did not feel there was a con to breastfeeding.

Green~Mammy

02-12-2008, 05:51 PM

I used to get really defensive about this subject. For me yes I did feel guilty. I felt that I had not tried as hard as I could of to breastfeed my oldest child. I also felt that I did not educate myself enough on how to do it and was very passive.

I let the hospital give him a bottle shortly after birth and I let my Mom convince me I was not producing. Combine that with a massive case of thrush just as my soreness was going away (which made them sore all over again)and then pyloric stenosis surgery for Darian and I was done for.

So when ever the topic came up I became irate and overly defensive of why breast feeding did not work for me. So for some Steph is right it does have something to do with guilt for others that is not the case.

I do feel there are cons to breast feeding as it was not something that came easy to me either the first or the second go around. I have had thrush, I have had a breast abscess,I have had nipples that cracked and bleed DESPITE a perfect latch. For me the pros just out weigh the cons.

Brandi

02-12-2008, 05:56 PM

Green~Mammy

02-12-2008, 06:04 PM

One of the perks of breastmilk is the antibodies to protect from SOME sicknesses sometimes, but I truly believe the actual amount of prevention when it comes to most common sicknesses is very negligible. Breastmilk IS best nutritionally, as it's made specifically for each individual baby, BUT I don't really buy into BF babies not getting sick simply b/c they were BF. I think it may help sometimes, but I have yet to see any real comparison between the two that would prove FF babies are generally sicker.

:tu People forget genetics play into this as well. While BF may give them a boost as far as immunity goes they still have genetic issues that may predisposition them to getting sick easier.

Darian was BF for around 6 weeks, Jacob has been BF for almost 2 years. As an infant/toddler Darian had one ear infection and in 5 years he has only had two. (he got one this year when he had a bad cold) Jacob has had chronic ear infections, and is typically sick off and on from about November to April. (about one cold a month on average).

Same thing with the whole BF makes them smarter. It is around 0.02 difference in the average child (IQ test between FF & BF children) because once again genetic make up comes into play.

While breast is best because it is designed to perfectly grow a child it is not the case for every parent. An alcoholic, or an addict should not breast feed. Some prescription meds make it impossible to breast feed. Formula has a very needed place in society. In third world countries things are different and I could go into the awful things formula companies have done (in third world countries) but that is a whole other debate. :)

Steph*

02-12-2008, 06:26 PM

:tu People forget genetics play into this as well. While BF may give them a boost as far as immunity goes they still have genetic issues that may predisposition them to getting sick easier.

Darian was BF for around 6 weeks, Jacob has been BF for almost 2 years. As an infant/toddler Darian had one ear infection and in 5 years he has only had two. (he got one this year when he had a bad cold) Jacob has had chronic ear infections, and is typically sick off and on from about November to April. (about one cold a month on average).

Same thing with the whole BF makes them smarter. It is around 0.02 difference in the average child (IQ test between FF & BF children) because once again genetic make up comes into play.

While breast is best because it is designed to perfectly grow a child it is not the case for every parent. An alcoholic, or an addict should not breast feed. Some prescription meds make it impossible to breast feed. Formula has a very needed place in society. In third world countries things are different and I could go into the awful things formula companies have done (in third world countries) but that is a whole other debate. :)

I'm completely agree with this -- all of it. :)

AG2Wife

02-12-2008, 07:04 PM

I agree...heck my friends that BF have children who have asthma or unfortunately worse...I think that the whole BREAST IS BEST is a bunch of CRAP...breast was NOT best for my daughter it made her sick everytime she ate...so what was best for my dd was to give her formula and make her healthy again.

if it made her sick it was because something you ate, or medications you took that transferred into the BM.

vivalacrap

02-12-2008, 07:04 PM

You just said it right there...You just say that we have guilt because we didnt breastfeed. And you say that ALL THE TIME. Maybe FF people wouldnt get so upset if that wasnt thrown in our faces.

My point exactly.

I don't say that all the time.

That was in response to vivalacrap's whole thread. She said something about "creepy spiritual bonding" and add in the "rofl" and "you thinking there are no cons is ridiculous" then yes, I said it makes me WONDER if GUILT has a part in saying such things when before NO ONE WAS mocking or being RUDE.

So I guess it's ok for her to say those things and not saying anything back?
Whatever, you either get what I'm trying to say or you don't.

People that know me, KNOW that I'm not that type of person and KNOW that I'm not one to mock or make people feel shitty. So keep on flaming if it makes you feel any better.

And BTW, people who know me know that I am a blunt and sarcastic person and I come off harsh at times and I was not trying to mock you depite my inclusion of the four letters "rofl". OMG I said rofl? You are right I must be the embodiment of Satan! :D

When people make comments like "there are no cons to breastfeeding" it contributes to the myth that bottle moms are somehow less worthy. I don't think anyone should be "convinced" to breastfeed if they don't want to. I certainly don't think its productive to lie to people about the cons of breastfeeding and leave them open to a surprise booby attack that will DISCOURAGE them from doing it or make them think something is wrong with them because they don't find it to be a spiritual experience of joy and wonder. You need to go into something like that fully educated and not just full of idealist notions about how excellent it will be.

So I guess if I wasn't a blunt person I would have said "maybe you should be a little more sensitive in your commentary." I thought we were all grown ups and could handle a big scary word like "ridiculous" but apparently I was mistaken.

Another point is I think people (in particular mothers) spend entirely too much time making judgments on others about issues that really don't matter. The only thing that should be important when its not your kid is that they aren't actually abusing the kid. Other than that all the babies, no matter what they are fed are going to be JUST FINE. So maybe we should quit acting all petty over dumb shizz like breastfeeding or not, and be concerned about things that ACTUALLY affect children in a negative way.