I wanna know how everyone got throught there FIRST deployment. Cause I have my first comeing up and im driveing back a forth from Philadelphia to Norfolk every two- three days so i can see him as much as i can. and he's leaving and i feel like my heart being ripped out and i cant stop crying becasue i dont know what to do without him. this is killing me and i just wanna know how you all got through your husbands leaving

I'm back at home with my parents. DH hasn't left for his deployment yet, but he will be soon. Honestly I think this one will probably be easier than others because I'm with my family and because we haven't lived together and I'm not in our home while he's gone. It's going to be hard no matter what, but being here with family is going to be the biggest help and it's more or less going to feel like it did when he was out to sea and I was here before, except we're married now not just engaged.

One day at a time! It will be hard.. but thats what we are here for. Try not to ruin the time that you have left with him, you want some great memories to remember while he is away. We are all here if you need us! :)

My dh left for a 6 months deploymet in feb in he is due home this August. when he first left I cried and cried but then slowly with with help, love, and support from friends, family, and the people on here I just took it one day at a time(I still have my bad days) and now 3 months have passed and I have 3 more months to go. I pass the time my crossing off each day that has passed on a calender before I go to bed at night.
I also listen to our songs, write letters to him ect. lean on us and pm me if you need me :hugs

I'm going through our first one right now, I've got 3 months left (he's been gone for 9 days, he missed 3 months of the cruise) and I'm heading back to my parents for the remainder of the deployment. But till then I take it one day at a time.. our son keeps me pretty busy and my hubs can email me once in a while...
You'll make it...it's hard and I'm not gonna say it gets easier, because for me it doesn't I just learn a routine that helps me...

we went through our first one a year and a half ago...the trick for us was to just stay very very busy! I hung out with friends a lot, I went to school online at the time, just kept doing things to keep going! Having great friends was the #1 thing I can pinpoint it to though....

Try to stay as up beat as possible.. I know it is very hard but it makes it way worse for your fellow.. Send him lots and lots of mail and packages.. Its the highlight of their life for 6 months.. Stay connected with people on here, friends, and family.. STAY BUSY !!! If you need me for anything I just went through my first and I am always here if you need me for anything... :hugs

Definitely one day at a time, and try to keep busy. I live not too far from and am actually from Philly, PM me and we can get together :D I also found it good for myself to keep a journal as to how I was feeling and made sure I wrote in it just a little bit every day.

:hugs

I Just started my second this morning. My heart is in a million pieces right now but I have my kids to keep me busy and I am going to head to my moms this week I think. All the ladies on here will help you through it and it will go alot faster than you think. Keep your head up and hang in there.

I stayed busy. I had Breanna and she kept me pretty busy. I also met one of the wives from John's shop who happened to have a son that was just 12 days older than Breanna. We ended up spending alot of time together and the kids have become best friends. I started going to church again and I began my 1st semester in school. We had just gotten to Jax 2 1/2 moths before he left so I didn't know the area at all so I would also just get in the car and drive. Course, that was before gas prices were the way they are now so I don't think I would suggest that now. I basically took any opportunity that came up to stay busy. It will be hard no matter what you do. But the busier you stay the quicker the time goes and the sooner he is back home with you. Good Luck.

The best thing was keeping busy. It helped me a lot that he left last year the week of my spring break, so I was in FL sleeping on the beach a lot. When I got home, reality hit and every day was spent emailing and figuring out packages to send, but school kept me busy, then all summer I went to sleepaway camp as a counselor and that made the time pass sooooooo quickly. Also, I made a scrap book the whole time he was gone of things I was doing, and as he sent me pictures I put those in, and selected certain emails to print out and put in as well... I found it very constructive and therapeutic... and after he got home I kept it going, and he loves looking at it every time I update it! This site helped too...that's when I joined the first time...it's nice to know other people are there in your shoes! Good luck! :)

The best thing was keeping busy. ...Also, I made a scrap book the whole time he was gone of things I was doing, and as he sent me pictures I put those in, and selected certain emails to print out and put in as well... I found it very constructive and therapeutic... and after he got home I kept it going, and he loves looking at it every time I update it! This site helped too...that's when I joined the first time...it's nice to know other people are there in your shoes! Good luck! :)

I completly agree with the scrap book thing!! I just started one and it definatly helps me get throught his deployment. Grant's on his second mini deployment but I"ve only seen him a total of 12 days since Thanksgiving! (he moved out west to Bangor where he was stationed and I"m following him there on May 31st!!!) So it's been hard but I've gotten through with the help of friends and family and this site has helped also! Good luck!! If you ever need to chat just PM me!! :hugs

For his first deployment (7 months) I was still living at home and in highschool. I got through it because I knew I had to. I didn't have a choice. Its his job and his responsibility, and he loves it. I knew that if I wanted to be with him, I had to get used to the fact that a lot of our relationship would be emails, IMs, letters and phone calls. I sucked it up and went along with my life. I counted the days till he would be home, and I hoped everyday they would send him home early.

i hate to sound like everyone else but just try to stay busy and this site is an awesome support team



:goodvibes :goodvibes :goodvibes :goodvibes :goodvibes :goodvibes

I agree with everyone esle. Just stay busy. At first for me, it was minute by minute, then hour by hour and finally I was ably to take things, one day at a time. Next thing you know, you are planning their homecoming.

My very first ship deployment was a little difficult. I was pregnant with Noah, we moved into a new house while Bill was gone, and gave birth while he was gone. When I look back at it now, it wasn't so bad. I kept myself busy with Emily, and I was the FSG coordinatior, so that took up a lot of my time. I really enjoyed it, and it made the time fly by.

My advice to you is to stay busy, busy , busy! :yes ;)

One day at a time....stay busy....make lists of things you want to accomplish while he is gone, or small things to do when you've got some time on your hands, it will help greatly in those times of utter loneliness.
To be honest, the fear and anticipation I think was worse for me then the actual Deployment. It takes time, but eventually you get into a groove. My DF has been gone for 5 months, we've got 1 more left. it's never easy, but you get more accustomed to doing things on your own and communicating through email etc.
I've kept a diary every day since he left, and he's done the same, so that will be something special for us to read through slowly once he gets home, it's a place to vent at times when were frustrated without stirring things up while we are thousands of miles apart. Try to continue leading as normal life as you can, don't hide things from your DH becuase he is gone, try to keep him involved with decisions and updated on the happenings in your world good and bad.
I also emailed every day no matter what atleast once so that we could stay in touch with eachother's lives. Good communication is a huge key to success. Sending care packages made me feel a whole lot closer to him, and of course they apprecaite them a lot! You can do it sweetie, and we'll all be here to support you!

i lived with my parents through our first deployment. it was still hard at times but i just went on best i could. work kept me busy and i forced myself to go out with friends and get involved with various things that would occupy my time. when you have things to do during the day it makes the time go fast, the hardest time for me was night and knowing that i had to go to sleep by myself.

You ALL are so awesome...you've all made it through the first and some more deployments. Right now i live at home with my mom sister and brother. but honestly since i've been traveling back and forth like i said i dont really talk to them alot no more, when im down there i dont wanna come back to go to work but when im home i like try to get out of work as soon as possibly to get right on the road and drive down there. I just feel like im gonna seclude myself from everyone. im mostly a happy go lucky person but when i dont see him or talk to him i dont talk to no one. i kind of shut my self out of the world. And im really gonna try hard not to do that. DH and i have been best friends since i was 14 so i think thats whats gonna make it really hard for me. and i shouldnt even say me because i have to think about him, cause your husbands are away from us to and feel the same way we do. i made him a scrapbook of all our pictures together and our ticket stubs to things and a CD with songs that will make him cheer up. cause really they dont have no one when thes sad( ya know they have to be men) so i think that will help him alittle. But i have you guys, casue honestly my best friend (megan) has no idea what im going through so i try to talk to her but all she says is oh shan it will be ok or she doesnt say anything.So thanks so much girls you dont know how much you really DO help people.

This will be my first deployment too, so I don't know what to expect or gone through it but I do know that I will try to keep myself busy and have a wonderful support group. I live in VA and if you ever want to come down for a weekend or anything and get together while there out I am always here. If you ever need anything just let me know. :D :hugs

My bf is actually comming home in 4 days!!! the deployment was hard at first.. but now that i think about it.. it went by really fast. the first few months were the hardest.. but i had my friends n family for support.. i just made sure to keep myself busy. im sure it will be fine..

I don't know how I made it through the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd!! I think you just get a sense of strength that you may not know you have, once they leave then you have to do it!! I agree it takes one day at a time!!

Good luck!!