I think i've crossed that fine line where I used to be "ok" and really independent. Now i'm feeling like i'm too dependent on DH. Who's not here. so it makes it really hard to rely on him. I find myself staring at my computer, for hours on end, just wishing, waiting, hoping, to talk to him. I know, i know, i'm not suposed to sit and wait...i'm supposed to do other things.

So what happens when i do other things? I ALWAYS MISS HIM. And that just crushes me more than it would have if i just sat and waited. And i'm so stressed out lately, so much is going on and im feeling really overwhelmed. All i really want is a little extra attention from DH. A little time for me. And i'm not getting it...and it makes it worse. And i don't know what to do.

I'm starting to feel like i'm not a prioritiy to him anymore. Yes, i know its different. He's in Iraq, he's got stuff going on. Trust me, I understand. But you know what? I work 60+ hours a week, I'm in 6 hours of masters level engineering classes, my weekends are spent with my groups from class and standing in line at the post office and every single EFFING day i email him, i IM him, I make packages. And i dont get much back. And I try, ohhhh I try, to be understanding. But at some point, I feel its unfair to me to be so understanding. Should I be less giving? That way it doesn't hurt so bad when i dont get something back from him? No...thats not in my nature. i'm a very giving and loving person. But, it really hurts when i know that i spent hours and hours and hours on his vday package and i got NOT A DAMN THING from him. Not even an IM.

look DH - I know you're online for at least FOUR hours a day. Is it so much for me to expect an email? an IM? Something to tell me you're thinking of me?

Yea - the whole VDay thing pissed me off. He blames it on his procrastinating....well, honey, i reminded you plenty of times. Turns out, he had been playing video games instead of emailing me. Not one single email, IM, nothing for Vday. I cannot put into words how much that hurt me.

This weekend - i had to call 911 and go to the hospital i was so sick. Ya'd think that'd get me some extra TLC... Nope...nope... He's studying for the board in two weeks. Not much time to talk. Or when we do talk....it always goes like this "Yaaaaaawn....i'm sooooooo tired". Over and over over again.

Ok - i'm apparently really pissed off right now. I'm a tad bit angered with my dear ole hubby....and i'm supposed to be understanding......sooooooo

dont get me wrong.....he's great most of the time. i'm just feeling really overwhelmed and stressed out and all alone right now.

you know what all of that is totally normal. I am in my early 30's have moved to different towns on my own, I am a very strong and independent woman but when he left I had those exact same moments. And knowing and feeling that seriously F'd me up for awhile cause then I was like "WTF why am I like this i am a strong woman blah blah blah" It pissed me off that I couldn't call him when I wanted and yet had to be available for him when he could call. then I realized I was being kinda lame and selfish, he doesn't have as much freedom so we figured out how he can instant message my cell phone, I got an 800 number so I could afford to talk to him on my cell phone that way I wasn't trapped in my house. we learned each other schedules so that way we could talk without it becoming a life stealer for me.

don't feel bad because you feel the way you do, it is all very normal and you need to talk to him about it so you guys can find your happy medium before you go insane ;)

stay strong :goodvibes

Its ok! I say that I need him, which I follow up...its the reason I keep him. He says I am needy. :lol

Over all, relying on them is another way of just wanting them home. Just to hear them snore, or make the coffee or tuck the kids in or mow the lawn. Simply to smell them in the morning...heck, to fight with.

Its just so aggravating when I feel like this. I'm supposed to be strong and independent and not need anyone.

Its just so aggravating when I feel like this. I'm supposed to be strong and independent and not need anyone.

your not "Supposed" to be anyone...you are you...some days might be bad...some days might be good...I would never ever judge anyone or you if you said that you weren't strong and independent...everyone is different...we are all going through a pretty hard thing here and it is OK to feel shitty some days and resentful...it is OK!

take some time to yourself...can you get your nails done? or take a bath? something to help you relax?? hopefully you can find sometime to be alone and do those things because you deserve it

your not "Supposed" to be anyone...you are you...some days might be bad...some days might be good...I would never ever judge anyone or you if you said that you weren't strong and independent...everyone is different...we are all going through a pretty hard thing here and it is OK to feel shitty some days and resentful...it is OK!

take some time to yourself...can you get your nails done? or take a bath? something to help you relax?? hopefully you can find sometime to be alone and do those things because you deserve it

yea, I think that's the hardest part....reminding myself that I'm not supposed to be anyone. And that its "ok" to have "less than perfect" days. Damn being a perfectionist!!

yea, I think that's the hardest part....reminding myself that I'm not supposed to be anyone. And that its "ok" to have "less than perfect" days. Damn being a perfectionist!!

i am too...to the fullest extent...so i know what you mean...give yourself a break ok?!