I just got this email from DF. He has been really OFF lately. I pressed him on it but left it alone when he snapped at me.

hey you,
i am realy sorry that i snapped at you the other day it wasnt anything that you did. i am realy just sick of being here and talking to you on the phone. i want to be able to see you when we talk. nothing here has changed to make me hate it anymore then i already do but i think that that might be a lot of the reason that i am feeling this way. i mean its almost like i am looking for a way to get into trouble or start an arguement and that is not your fault at all and i am sorry for taking any of it out on you. i just want to be home with you and clare and wash my hands of this whole place. i mean i wake up just mad at the world that i have to be here. i get so angry most the time that my hands shake and i dont realy know what to do about it. i truly hate this place. i feel like i am going nuts. i am realy not happy. i dont want you to feel like its your fault at all or that you need to apologize for anything i just want you to know what is going on in my head. the reason that i am e-mailing this to you instead of calling you is because the i was just told that our camp internet is going to be down for a few more days because someone cut a fiber optic cable and ther is a sandstorm so no calls are able to go out. i tried to call for like an hour and i couldnt get through. again baby i am sorry and i love you very much. hopefully the storm will have passed and i will be able to call you but just in case. bye baby i love you

after his last tour to the sandbox, he came home really messed up... I was really thinking this time around wouldn't be as bad :no But it is heading that way everyday he is there it seems. :tears Atleast this time is talking to me about... that is one good sign. :sigh

well...I think it is def a good sign that he emailed that to you...and I think he is really trying to open up so that maybe when he does come home, it won't be as bad as before...

I think he really really needs you and you are doing a great job at being there for him...from reading that email, it really seems like you are 100% important to him and that you are helping him through this entire thing...

My db hates it there too, with a PASSION, and maybe just getting up everyday and realizing that they are in the same place is getting to them...you just have to keep reminding him that it is not permanent and it will pass and you will be right there waiting for him when he gets home...

Keep doing what you are doing, your doing a really great job

I'm glad he's communicating with you. You seem extremely supportive so I think the two of you will get through this. Stay strong.

well...I think it is def a good sign that he emailed that to you...and I think he is really trying to open up so that maybe when he does come home, it won't be as bad as before...

I think he really really needs you and you are doing a great job at being there for him...from reading that email, it really seems like you are 100% important to him and that you are helping him through this entire thing...

My db hates it there too, with a PASSION, and maybe just getting up everyday and realizing that they are in the same place is getting to them...you just have to keep reminding him that it is not permanent and it will pass and you will be right there waiting for him when he gets home...

Keep doing what you are doing, your doing a really great job

Thanks for the support. I just wish there was more that i can do for him... you know? It makes me so sad to hear him talk like that cause he is normally such an easy going guy. :no This not my DF. :suspect

I'm glad he's communicating with you. You seem extremely supportive so I think the two of you will get through this. Stay strong.

Me too... Thank you very much for those nice thoughts. :blush

nick has been having some problems like that too...he just hates that he has to be there, and he resents its so very much....im glad you got an email from him though...its a good sign i think

I know its not your df...but the good thing about it is that this will not be your df forever...you don't have that much more to go and now its getting rough for him...but just remember they have bad days just like us...we kinda hide it so they don't know because we are trying to be their support...

maybe hes just having a bad couple of days ya know? hopefully thats it...can you send him a little something that will cheer him up?? I know that naked pics always always bring a smile to db's face...no matter what!!:P

I know its not your df...but the good thing about it is that this will not be your df forever...you don't have that much more to go and now its getting rough for him...but just remember they have bad days just like us...we kinda hide it so they don't know because we are trying to be their support...

maybe hes just having a bad couple of days ya know? hopefully thats it...can you send him a little something that will cheer him up?? I know that naked pics always always bring a smile to db's face...no matter what!!:P

:lmao Yeah maybe that will help out... he loves his pictures, says that is the best part of deployments.

The only reason I even worry cause it has seemed to get worse and worse everytime we talk... just overly cautious from last time i guess. :dunno

But hopefully I can get a big smile on his face :D

:lmao Yeah maybe that will help out... he loves his pictures, says that is the best part of deployments.

The only reason I even worry cause it has seemed to get worse and worse everytime we talk... just overly cautious from last time i guess. :dunno

But hopefully I can get a big smile on his face :D

you can! and honestly...just keep reminding him over and over...this is temporary...and tell him over and over how much you love him...that will put a smile on his face too

you can! and honestly...just keep reminding him over and over...this is temporary...and tell him over and over how much you love him...that will put a smile on his face too

This is the email I just sent to him. I have no idea when he will actually get it though. :sigh Hopefully it will help...

Hi honey,

Thank you for telling me what has been going on with you. I know that i can;t even imagine your end of this deployment, but I really do want to try to do anything that I can to make it better for you. That is what I am here for.
Thats why I get upset when i know something is going on with you, and you won;t talk to me about it. I know that is what men do, but its really difficult to handle when the ONLY thing we have in the relationship is the phone. If you were at home I could just coax it out of you with sex... *giggle*

I can understand that you are mad and are getting madder each day that comes, I can completly understand that. We both have a bit of anger problems that hide beneath the surface. We will get through this, as i have said befor the end seems worse then the begining of the deployment. We need to just keep moving through the motions and eventually this nightmare will be over for us.

And I am with you 100% I AM TIRED OF JUST TALKING TO YOU ON THE PHONE!!!!! I want to smell you, i want to feel your heat next to me, I want see you laugh.... and so much more that i can't get from the phone. And yeah it makes me pissed when we get off the phone and I don't get that satisfied feeling anymore. Instead I miss you even more. Phone calls and the interent have been great, but you want more i get that cause that is how i feel too.

I don't really have an answer to your problems, cause I can't make myself any better either. But I would recommend finding a punching bag, and go at! I used to do that when I was a teenager ( rage problems ) and BOY it really helps to get some off that uncontrollable anger out without hurting anyone else or yourself. Get your blood racing, sweat, anything that you can exert all the pent up energy into. :)

Try it you may find that it will help. In fact I am thinking I really need to something of that nature myself... reading your letter and knowing that you are miserable makes me so mad cause I can;t fix it for you.
We can get through this last bit, we have made it so far already!

Love you love you love you love you love you love you love you!!!!!!!!!!!!


XOXO,
Ash

My DB hates it there with a passion right now as well....and he is just so down he doesn't have the energy to go wait in the phone lines as much etc. So it has been hard for both of us.

I think it is wonderful he emailed you and took the time to say all that to you:) And honestly it makes me feel a little better too, because I know DB must feel some of that way too even though he has a harder time getting all that out....if that makes any sense lol.

I'm at that point where when I talk to him on the phone I just physically and mentally ache from missing him so bad. I would give anything for him to just reach out and touch my arm LOL! .....my point being, that they feel that way too and that adds to it all

Hang in there, you're doing everything you can and he obviously appreciates it a ton:D :hugs

My DB hates it there with a passion right now as well....and he is just so down he doesn't have the energy to go wait in the phone lines as much etc. So it has been hard for both of us.

I think it is wonderful he emailed you and took the time to say all that to you:) And honestly it makes me feel a little better too, because I know DB must feel some of that way too even though he has a harder time getting all that out....if that makes any sense lol.

I'm at that point where when I talk to him on the phone I just physically and mentally ache from missing him so bad. I would give anything for him to just reach out and touch my arm LOL! .....my point being, that they feel that way too and that adds to it all

Hang in there, you're doing everything you can and he obviously appreciates it a ton:D :hugs

Thanks! I think the pressure is getting to us both hopefully it will be getting better since he let out some of what was bothering him.

just sending hugs to you. your email sounds great and hopefully it will help him knowing that you are in it together. It is good that he is being so open with his feelings.

just sending hugs to you. your email sounds great and hopefully it will help him knowing that you are in it together. It is good that he is being so open with his feelings.

Thanks, I hope it makes him feel better :)

If it doesn't, he still has the naked pics. :teehee

Sounds like you are doing everything right...I hope the last months go by quickly for you both.

This is the email I just sent to him. I have no idea when he will actually get it though. :sigh Hopefully it will help...

Hi honey,

Thank you for telling me what has been going on with you. I know that i can;t even imagine your end of this deployment, but I really do want to try to do anything that I can to make it better for you. That is what I am here for.
Thats why I get upset when i know something is going on with you, and you won;t talk to me about it. I know that is what men do, but its really difficult to handle when the ONLY thing we have in the relationship is the phone. If you were at home I could just coax it out of you with sex... *giggle*

I can understand that you are mad and are getting madder each day that comes, I can completly understand that. We both have a bit of anger problems that hide beneath the surface. We will get through this, as i have said befor the end seems worse then the begining of the deployment. We need to just keep moving through the motions and eventually this nightmare will be over for us.

And I am with you 100% I AM TIRED OF JUST TALKING TO YOU ON THE PHONE!!!!! I want to smell you, i want to feel your heat next to me, I want see you laugh.... and so much more that i can't get from the phone. And yeah it makes me pissed when we get off the phone and I don't get that satisfied feeling anymore. Instead I miss you even more. Phone calls and the interent have been great, but you want more i get that cause that is how i feel too.

I don't really have an answer to your problems, cause I can't make myself any better either. But I would recommend finding a punching bag, and go at! I used to do that when I was a teenager ( rage problems ) and BOY it really helps to get some off that uncontrollable anger out without hurting anyone else or yourself. Get your blood racing, sweat, anything that you can exert all the pent up energy into. :)

Try it you may find that it will help. In fact I am thinking I really need to something of that nature myself... reading your letter and knowing that you are miserable makes me so mad cause I can;t fix it for you.
We can get through this last bit, we have made it so far already!

Love you love you love you love you love you love you love you!!!!!!!!!!!!


XOXO,
Ash


just saw this and i think its fabulous...i think it will really make him realize how lucky he is to have you...I think its perfect...it will cheer him up...hell it made me smile!!

just saw this and i think its fabulous...i think it will really make him realize how lucky he is to have you...I think its perfect...it will cheer him up...hell it made me smile!!

Thanks! I just hope he gets it soon...