The past week i have been having horried dreams about my DB. Dream where something happens over there, and a few where he comes home and cheats, leaves me, dumps me. I know they are just dreams but they keep happening. Is this normal? I actually start to worry about it. I know he loves me but I can't help worrying. What if he gets back dosent' find me attractive anymore. Also, How much do you tell you DB? I mean DB and i have always been honest with each other, and we are 1st and formost friends. When I worry i normally vent to him and vice versa. Do you tell them what you are worried about, or insecure about, or keep it to yourself? Should I tell him in my letters? or should i just let it go. I don't want to put any pressure on him, but i never keep things from him :duh, I know i am being crazy and irrational, is this normal? Is this part of the deployment cycle? :confused
I don't want to sound crazy, i tried to talk to my friends and they tell me not to bug him and you'll see him soon. They dont understand what its like.

I think it is somewhat normal. I have had some weird dreams, too, especially at the beginning when I was just getting used to the idea of him being over there and wasn't sure what he'd be doing or what it would be like. As far as sharing my worries, I personally hold back a little bit. A lot of times I find that if I wait, the worry passes. If it is something that keeps nagging me, then I'll bring it up.

ugh. DB & I have both had dreams like this. I'll tell you the same thing I told him.."if the worst problem we are having on this deployment are a few bad dreams, I think we're doing okay!" I think it's pretty normal given the amount of distance in our relationships.

If you want to tell your db, just be honest. Say "I had a weird/bad dream about you last night" then just tell him what it was about. Don't worry too much about it!

Honestly, I think it's normal. I get, on a frequent basis, dreams where my husband is telling me goobye, and that he'll always love me...I've gotten them since Jan 2002. I think it's just your psyche needing to get emotion out.

Yep happened to me in the beginning too but thnakfully they have stopped....one of the cheating dreams was so vivid if I ever see that B*tch on the street somewhere I'm gonna kick her butt hahahahahahaha.....but seriously normal normal normal

It is normal . Especially when you feel lonely and vulnerable. Eating late in the evening ( even sweet things) can give you a restless night sleep with vivid dreams, as your body has to work harder to break down food whilst you are sleeping. Soups and light snacks are better. Try to do some excersize or go for a long walk before you go to sleep that could also give you a more peaceful night.

Yep, totally normal. I had a lot of bad dreams when DB deployed. However, they stopped after awhile. I'd tell but just wouldn't be dramatic about it. Once I would say, "hey, I had a bad dream last night," and actually get it out there, it would stop bothering me. He was always able to take it in stride and just reassure me and then we'd move on.

Oh honey i was right their in your shoes about a month ago. I struggled for weeks before i told anybody and theni finally broke down and told DB!! First he was upset i didnt tell him before he says that if we want to make this deployment benefit us we have to be open even when we are not sure!! Otherwise he thinks i dont need him and that hurts!!! That makes since everyman wants to feel wanted and i think they struggle with that, after being gone so long they understand we have learned to survive and they worry they are not needed.
Then he said that he is still a part of the relationship even though he has a lot on his plate and wants to be included in things like that cause its important to him, the way i am and how i am handling things.
Now that i have told DB and we talk about it they dont come as often, do i still have them yes but not near as often.

Totally normal I would say. I would be careful about pouring out all your emotions to him. Just say I had a bad dream and this is what it was about. This situation actually happened this morning between DB and I and I said it just like that and got the feedback and reassurance I needed from him. :hugehug

Its totally normal! I hate it when I have bad dreams like that. If it really gets to me, I mention it to DH. He always gives me reassurance and reminds me its just a dream. If they are bothering you I would mention it to him. i've found that dreams can start to effect me if I don't get them out and I'm sure thats the last thing you want!

Totally normal! :grin:
I had them before DB left too, so we got to talk about them then. I still get one every once in a while and usually :vent vent to him in an email with a joke about my "stupid girl feelings" screwing up my sleep, and he'll usually reassures me next time we talk. :grin:

My point is: talk to him. Tell him you're worried about the dreams 'cause you don't want to lose him, then ask him to tell you you're crazy :D Or whatever works for you, just keep it light-hearted.

Sleep tight :hugs

normal, but i wouldn't concern him with it. it helped a friend of mine to write letters about her concerns but never to mail them.. she showed them to him when he got home, and they laughed about how silly and paranoid she was. just a thought :)