He finally broke up with me,
told me he was hurting me too much, that he had been wanting to do it, but i kept stoping him. that i needed to "move on" that i should just "move on" because he will never be able to be with me because of the navy. And how shitty everything is for him right now, how he's an asshole and a piece of shit, i guess he also just found out he wouldn't be leaving great lakes till July... and he's not too happy about that. weridly.. we joked alot(after i finished crying), joked about burning his pictures and how big of an asshole he was, and who got credit for breaking up, and how we rated in the bedroom, and he said he would call me when we feels like it, that he would still be my friend. he said he still was in love with me and he loved me... but i need to move on? i asked him if he would come back for me in 4 years like our original plan, and he said that won't happen because it will be 30 years now, because he never wants to come home...
he said he might call me tommorow..who knows.
but i'm pretty much dying inside.
i love him so much, i hate how he's just pushing everything good away....
im just hoping that maybe he changes his mind? i never wanted to post something here, but this will my last post for a while..unless i find other sailor...which might be a good idea because i'm such an expert now..but then again probably a horrible idea.
fuck how embrassing.. my neighbor just knocked and i answered all teary eyed and looking like shit and he was all weirded out...
anyways..
this sucks.. my body doesn't feel normal right now and want so badly just to see him, and I KNOW he would realize and this would hit more than just a fucking phone call.

:hugs:hugs:hugs:hugs:hugs:hugs:hugs

awww! im so sorry! if u wanna talk im on aim and or yahoo right now just let me know !!!!

i hope he realizes how much he needs you...

im so sorry hun hang in there :hugs

:hugs :hugs :hugs im soo sorry hun! he seems to be having a hard time now..maybe he just needs to think things through. i hope everything will be ok hun..PM me if you need anyything..im always here to talk n listen :)

<3333333!

I'm sorry sweetie! Keep ur head up, u have all of us here for u

thanks guys...

(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)
:hugs

aww I'm so sorry!!! :hugehug

I'm so sorry!!! Take a good week off the roller coaster, I promise you'll feel better after a while then maybe he will you and you guys can talk from a different POV.

but um, how would the Navy keep him from you? Not to sound rude, just doesnt make sense to me.

:hugs I am so sorry.... Take all the time you need and we will be here when you get back, even if it is sailorless. My hubs isn't in the military anymore and I still hang out here.

:hugs sorry sweetie

im sorry and i hope you are ok.

I'm sorry hun :hugs

I am so sorry hun that sucks

I'm so sorry! If there is anything I can do, just let me know!

:bigsadhug

Im so sorry...I wish i could give you a big giant hug and squeeze ya....

:hugehug I am so sorry!! hopefully he wakes up and realizes what a good thing he is losing!!! You are an amazing girl and it is very apparent how much you care for him!! I hope everything works out for you!!

:hugs Hun I am so sorry that happened :hugs.
Some guys do that, they always push away the good things because they feel like when they join the military that they are not good enough for their girl :hugs sometime down the road he will realize this and be coming back.
Just keep your head held high hun :hugs

I really think that this is for the best for both of you. You don't seem very happy in any of your posts and although it is so hard to give up on a relationship, you can't be expected to carry all of the weight and responsibility in one. :hugs You will move on and you will find someone who isn't an asshole and will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

I really think that this is for the best for both of you. You don't seem very happy in any of your posts and although it is so hard to give up on a relationship, you can't be expected to carry all of the weight and responsibility in one. :hugs You will move on and you will find someone who isn't an asshole and will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

:agree

Skye!! That's bullshit and I am so sorry.

i miss him so much.
i could barely stop myself from crying in class all today..
i texted him saying that he was so stupid for letting me go
and he said "im not stupid. you will realize one day. I was right"
i just hate how justified he feels about all of this.

I'm so sorry :hugs

im so sorry hon! :hugs :hugs :hugs

:bigsadhug

unless i find other sailor...which might be a good idea because i'm such an expert now..

Fleet week will be there in the fall! And u know that means lots of sexy sailors running around to help heal ur heart and help u to move on! ;)

Sorry he's being such a punk. :consoling:consoling:bigsadhug

Well, i guess i'll keep you guys updated..
UPDATE:
the last time we talked was Monday,
for a few minutes and i said "I want things to go back to the original plan"
and he was like "Skye, it's only been a day!"
and i was like "no no, the plan where i cheat on all my boyfriends with you, and we travel together on your deployments"
and he said "that sounds good."
and he said he loved me, that he did get me a birthday present, just hadn't sent it and he was trying to trick me or something
and i told him not take me off the top 20 on myspace or whatever, and he didn't.
and that night he texted me coldplay lyrics, and he ALWAYS makes fun of me for liking coldplay, and we even have a song and stuff, so it's kind of strange for him of him to be listening to them, if he doesn't care. He keeps telling me "your going to be just fine" which just makes me more upset but whatever..

and then last night, my phone didn't ring, and i couldn't sleep because i was just thinking about him and i started writing a letter or some sort to him and then at that moment i got a voicemail from him
that was just really depressing sounding like "hey...umm. it's like 2:20 in the morning..ahh ummm i guess i'll just call you tommorow" this is huge, because i always have to ask him to call me, and i didn't talk to him all day.
and we texted for a little after that,
and he texted me today, and he ususally never texts me in the day because of "school"
anyways, i'm hoping these are signs that he really misses me, that he still loves me.
i don't know anymore.

:hugs

it sounds like he still cares about you a lot...whether or not that means he will want to get back together or not, i don't know...

my advice, if you want it, is this...you need to decide how much you want to live in limbo, not knowing if he will change his mind or not...i guess for me personally i would only be able to take so much after having my heart broken before i would cut all communication and start trying to move on...

:bigsadhug

:hugs

it sounds like he still cares about you a lot...whether or not that means he will want to get back together or not, i don't know...

my advice, if you want it, is this...you need to decide how much you want to live in limbo, not knowing if he will change his mind or not...i guess for me personally i would only be able to take so much after having my heart broken before i would cut all communication and start trying to move on...

:bigsadhug

i wish i could do that,
i've been trying to do this for 6 months now... but i love him way too much. we have something special, and the "navy" has always been this dark cloud that have made the last couple of months forget what we had. i've been overly emotional, his way of dealing with things is getting distant and pushing away, which makes me run after him more. he holds a permenant place in my heart, and i'll never be able to erase him. I know that even if do find myself in with someone else, i'll still be questioning, wondering where he is. I'm a pretty old soul, and know myself well, i know what i want out of life and i know when i really believe in something.
there is an unexplainable energy, that i wish hadn't of found at nineteen, because maybe more people will understand.
This experience has made more independent then ever before in my life, no longer do i feel the need to have certain comforts of "having someone" always there, i've learned to enjoy loneliness, to embrace it. i now truly feel he's not something i "need", he is something i want.
i don't know where to go from here,
just keeping living each day as best as i can and to the fullest.

another UPDATE:

well, it's been about two weeksish. things feel almost the same, only i'm not "his girlfriend". We talked on sunday, and he was very honest for the first time in a while, he told me that i had to stop letting people push me around, and even let him do that to me and that he was sorry. He still "loves me" and all that. I just think this whole situation scares him. He admitted to pushing me away and being a jerk as a way of defending himself so he wouldn't be disapointed. We are just stuck in this rut.
We both love each other so much, but there is nothing we can do about it. He's over there, and i'm over here. I think he wants me to be happy, and he doesn't want me to give up on my dreams to just wait around for him. I don't know. He's just so depressed, so in denial of everything we have and had, i think it's easier for him if he just makes me out to be horrible. he was texting me last night, about how "no one will ever understand him, he's a outcast" yadayda and i try to tell him i feel the same way, but no it's just about him. and frankly, i'm sick of it, and i think if i stop telling him over and over again how i feel the same way, and that he's not alone, maybe he will fucking get the picture. I think he needs a taste of his own medicine, a wake up call. So i'm working on giving that, but it's hard. anyways. that's it so far.

I am sorry about the unclear situation. Good luck moving on, I know it is difficult since you still talk occasionally. And P.S, the "I am an outcast attitude and always will" is just bulls**t and it is a type of self-pity I had an ex with the same attitude and got too sick of it...
:hugehug

I have been in the single boat for a couple weeks now as well... sigh

I have been in the single boat for a couple weeks now as well... sigh

aahhhhhhhh omg, tell me what happened!

:hugs I am sorry sweet heart, Maybe he'll realize his mistake soon. :tears

aahhhhhhhh omg, tell me what happened!

He left me because he doesn't want me to be waiting for him, he hates that I feel obligated to wait (which I don't).

Honestly, I was sad at first but I am so happy now. I feel like a million dollars. I was always worrying about him and concerned about a couple small things.. now I am worry free.

And I'm not leaving the forum - I'm in the military so I'm sure there will be more military SO's in the future for me.

:hugs I'm sorry. Hang in there hun. :hugs

im sooo sorry! :hugehug

i really hope you guys just take this and it turns into just a break. i really hope that he realizes he does need you. chris did the same thing to me, and now we're married and have a baby so im praying that everything works out for you, and if not, this just makes you a stronger person, and you're that much closer to finding the person you're really going to be with for the rest of your life.



i look at any bad relationship ive ever been in as a positive because it just got me one step closer to my husband, and i see all the bad things i went through were really bad and they just make the good now that much sweeter.


good luck with everything, and dont be sad. just try to be positive.
if its meant to be, it will be.

whether its now, or in a million years.

so, heres another update..
it goes from good to bad, bad to good.
i don't know what do anymore.
someone said to me today something that was just like needles through my heart.
saying that "he broke up with me for a reason" i was like well he said it was because of the navy, and he doesn't want a relationship. and she was like "do you really think it's just that? he obviously doesn't want to be with you."
i didn't know what to say.
because i mean he's said that it's nothing to do with me, that he loves me and that there isn't anyone else, there isn't time for anyone else. now my whole mind is in a daze. and i feel like if i ask him about it, he will just get mad that i'm questioning if he still loves me or not..
i just start to think it's all lie, that maybe he's just being saying to make the break up eaiser.. to be nice. but then i think, why would he still make those little efforts to call me? fuck.

I think he's trying to make the break up easier for you.


ETA: I just noticed the original post in this thread is from the 24th of feb. Hon, it's been almost a month. It's time to stop talking to him and analyzing if he still loves you, and start moving past this.

I think he's trying to make the break up easier for you.

:yes

I think he's trying to make the break up easier for you.


ETA: I just noticed the original post in this thread is from the 24th of feb. Hon, it's been almost a month. It's time to stop talking to him and analyzing if he still loves you, and start moving past this.

I agree. This just goes in circles and you keep getting the same result. I think it's time to face the reality of the situation and move on. It will be better for the both of you in the long run.

I`m sorry . Atleast you know that he loves you and its nothing you have done. If you can stay friends it might be a good thing . You can still move on with your life and be happy. Lots of :hugs to you

i know how hard it is...my SO tried to tell me he wanted me to move on since he doesn't know what might happen to him while he is in iraq...but i fought back...i told him i knew that there wouldn't be any possible way for me to move on...i am in love with him and nothing could change that...i had been told he was going to break up with me before he left but then when we talked about it he told me that he didn't want to break up with me...but the night he left hurt the most...he told me he needed to get his priorities straight so he could be 100% sure about us and for me not to take it the wrong way...but i still don't think that he was breaking up with me...but i do know how it feels when they tell you to move on...it sucks...but all you can do is just let him know how much you love him...and he will soon realize that he needs you just as much as you need him

i'm going to fight for him.
and i can't do anything about it now.
so i have to focus on other things in my life like school,
but when he comes home on leave... i hope
and i think he will realize how much he missed me.

Skye... I think it's make it or break it time. You've got nothing to lose - give him another try but then move on if he doesn't respond well.

I think he's trying to make the break up easier for you.


ETA: I just noticed the original post in this thread is from the 24th of feb. Hon, it's been almost a month. It's time to stop talking to him and analyzing if he still loves you, and start moving past this.

I agree. I'm sorry hun. :hugs

i'm going to fight for him.
and i can't do anything about it now.
so i have to focus on other things in my life like school,
but when he comes home on leave... i hope
and i think he will realize how much he missed me.

Good luck, girl. I think you're setting yourself up for a huge disappointment, but I'll be rooting for you.