ok. so i have read several different threads about when everyone's s/o comes home from deployment. want to hear my situation? i could really use some good advice. Ok, my s/o and i met in oct. 2006. i was still in h.s and was 17. we got married a short 5 months later, and moved into housing on post. We both felt like it was the right thing to do, and we only lived together for 2 months before he deployed. he was a pfc. well, i thought i was pregnant, so before he left, he wanted me to move to ohio to his exgirlfriends parents house (he considers them his real family odd situation but is off the point) well i met them several times, they came and watched me graduate ect. they seemed like cool people. he never got along with his sgt's. and when he deployed, they sent him home a mere 2 months later for r&r (not enough time if you ask me for us both to get adjusted) of course all he wanted to do was drink, and we constantly fought. it actually got so bad that we decided the day before he deployed that we were going to end this marriage, because we both couldn't stand eachother and fought over some crazy stuff. well, after not talking for 3 months, we got back together in october of 2007. we became really close again by december. during that time my husband was constantly getting in trouble, and because he was dealing with the divorce stuff between aug-september he tried to commit suicide. well, his sgt caught him, gave him an article 15 and gave him extra duty for 45 days. so he was even more depressed for over a month because we could only talk MAYBE once a week if that. after january 14 everything was pretty much back to normal. he admitted to me that he was cutting his self earlier in iraq, and that sometime he just wanted to "blow his head off and get it over with". but, for the most part, he is much better now. well because of all of this, the army has decided to discharge my husband. he wants to move back to ohio to live, and im from georgia. I tried moving up there to start with, and that was where we ending up wanting to divorce eachother. he acted much different in his "home town" than he does in my "home town" of georgia. well, we decided to move to ohio together once he gets discharged. this could be in march or july, the military still won't tell him an exact date, and gives him an article 15 every time he asks. my whole life is going up to ohio before he gets back, moving in to the house i just leased, and basically waiting. but, i am terrified as to what might happen when he gets home. he says "don't think like that" but its hard not too. How do i know that once he gets home he will have completely changed and turned into this horrible person that i can't stand to be around? I love him with all my heart but i am leaving my family in georgia (once again) to see how things will pan out with my husband once he gets back. all i can do is pray about these things and take a huge risk. any suggestions ladies? i know that was long...but i am scared...shitless.

I would recommend starting marriage counseling as soon as he gets home. I mean with in days. And he needs some help. Big time and I hope he is willing to commit to that. :hugehug

Don't expect him to change.. Not immediately. Not completely.
You both will need to adjust to each other, and to your new life style. Your relationship doesn't sound like its been too happy with each other so far, and a lot of that may have to with him being away. As the poster above mentioned, you will both need to go to counseling immediately to even begin to understand and work through your problems. It will be work, it won't be fun and it won't be easy. If you two really want your marriage to work, it has a chance to. It sounds like you both want it to.
Good luck to you guys!!!

hey, i have already talked to him....he won't go to marriage counseling, he says anything we have a problem with we can work out on our own.

hey, i have already talked to him....he won't go to marriage counseling, he says anything we have a problem with we can work out on our own.

sounds like the problems you have are deeper than being able to handle them on your own...I say if he refuses marriage counseling and things go bad again in Ohio...your going to need to make some tough decisions!! I hope everything works out okay for you!! :hugehug

Just start over. It seems like you guys need to get to learn about eachother again.
Just go out ,grab a coffee and talk things over.