Sorry if you're sick of reading about it..
But I talked to Matt last night and I'm just done. I can't keep fighting for what he obviously doesn't want to work. I've tried and tried and I simply cannot do it anymroe. I'm used up. I'm emotionally exhausted. Every time I got a glimmer of hope it wasn't what I thought it was. I'm looking for a job today and hopefully soon I can move out.
As far as I'm concerned right now he's an asshole. I love him dearly but right now I'm just plain mad. I've put 110% of me into this and it just sucks to finally see that he is not doing the same nor has he been. Maybe things will change when he gets home but I very much doubt it.
I told him I won't fight him on the divorce if he wants it he can have it.
I will fight him on the kids tho but to be honest I doubt that will be much of a fight. He hasn't been around them in over 4 years Plus we always said we'd never put the kids in the middle.
I'm back and forth with :tears and :vent

i'm sorry :hugs

I'm really sorry to hear that sweety:hugehug

I'm so very sorry to hear that.

I'm so sorry Berk! I hope that once he gets home he will change his mind and see what he would be missing! :hugs

every situation is so different, so i wish i knew what to say. dh and i went back and forth from november of 07 up until he left for basic in july. i have told you some of what went on, so you know how bad it was. i got to the point where you are several times, and i know how you are feeling. it is one of the oddest sensations ever. a part of you feels dead and broken, and the part that isnt is just angry as hell and wants to kill something. when you are not crying you are probably telling yourself "it's ok, i can do this, i will be ok without him" and then you go back to feeling hopeless and lost. this goes on for quite a while. there are days when i still feel both of those things, and it's ok. who knows how long it will last.
as for the fighting for him stuff.....stop. he needs to come to his sense all on his own. i think one of the turning points for us was when he saw that i really would be ok without him, when i stopped pleading and crying for him to stay, when i told him "ok, let's just get it over with then" he sort of lost his steam. i know it has got to be harder than anything with his being so far away. just hang in there. it sounds like you two have already been through so much together already, maybe this is something else that will come to pass and you will both be stronger for it. i wish you all the best, i really do. just try to hang in there and do what you need to do to take care of yourself and your kiddos. if you ever need anything, and i mean anything, please pm me, call me, email me, whatever.

:hugs I'm so sorry

:sadeyes

:bigsadhug

Sorry honey :hugs

im so sorry ..im here for you if you need anything..

I'm so sorry to read this. If I can do anything (shoulder, ear, whatever) let me know. :bigsadhug

Many, many :hugs!!!!

:tears :hugs :hugs :glomp

oh honey im so sorry. Gosh Why the hell is everyone breaking up! If you need to talk girlie feel free to PM Me. I don't know how it feels to be in a marriage situation, but I know how it feels to have your world falling apart and there is nothing you can do to fix it. :hugs Keep youre head up mama! Stay strong for those babies, but don't forget that you need to cry it out too! :bigsadhug Im serious PM me or IM Me: Designer4theking (aim/yahoo) MSN: aeropostaleprincess@msn.com hit me up!

Thank you everyone

every situation is so different, so i wish i knew what to say. dh and i went back and forth from november of 07 up until he left for basic in july. i have told you some of what went on, so you know how bad it was. i got to the point where you are several times, and i know how you are feeling. it is one of the oddest sensations ever. a part of you feels dead and broken, and the part that isnt is just angry as hell and wants to kill something. when you are not crying you are probably telling yourself "it's ok, i can do this, i will be ok without him" and then you go back to feeling hopeless and lost. this goes on for quite a while. there are days when i still feel both of those things, and it's ok. who knows how long it will last.
as for the fighting for him stuff.....stop. he needs to come to his sense all on his own. i think one of the turning points for us was when he saw that i really would be ok without him, when i stopped pleading and crying for him to stay, when i told him "ok, let's just get it over with then" he sort of lost his steam. i know it has got to be harder than anything with his being so far away. just hang in there. it sounds like you two have already been through so much together already, maybe this is something else that will come to pass and you will both be stronger for it. i wish you all the best, i really do. just try to hang in there and do what you need to do to take care of yourself and your kiddos. if you ever need anything, and i mean anything, please pm me, call me, email me, whatever.

You're right I know you are. If he calls or emails of course I'll answer but I'm not going to him on my own. I don't think he is being fair at all right now. And yes one minute I think I'll be fine and the next I am losing it.
:hugs

I'm sorry, big :hugs for you.

:hugs I`m so sorry :hugs

:hugehug

:hugs

:bigsadhug
I know it isn't an easy decision to make and it is so hard when only one person is willing to put the work into it.

:hugs:hugs I am so sorry that this isn't working out the way you want it to Berk! If you need me, you know how to get ahold of me! :hugs:hugs

:sadeyes :tears :bigsadhug

I am so sorry that you have to go through this:hugs. Maybe dh just want some validation. Maybe he wants to see you go far and beyond for the relationship. Sometimes people need that to feel wanted. I hope that whatever you guys decide to do you find peace with it. Like I said before, maybe you guys can compromise on going to counseling. I think it would do everyone some good. Even if you decide that you two arent going to be together, counseling will be great for the kids.

:hugs im sorry

:sadeyes :tears oh Berkley i am so sorry. i was really counting on him pulling his head out of his ass. maybe moving out is what you need though. you need to start feeling good about yourself and not let this drag you down. :tears

:hugs I am sorry. :(

oh Berkley sweetie this just broke my heart to read this. I thought he said that he wanted this to work and that he loved you. Has he done something else to change his mind? I just think that you should both just try the counseling first before calling it quits. I know you are tired of this back and forth stuff but it doesnt help if he isnt at home right now either. I was hoping that once he got home and you two could start counseling together that things will get better. I know you must be emotionally drained and feel like all your emotions have been sapped from you. Please PM me sweetie and talk to me.

Oh honey, I am so sorry!! It angers me so much that he's doing this to you and your kids!! :vent If you need me for anything please let me know!

:bigsadhug

:hugehug i am sorry sweetie!

damn girl, I wish i had the right words to say too, but I don't....All I can really say is that I am 100% truly sorry for what you are going through...I;ve said this before and I'll say it again, even though I don't "know" you personally, I think you sound like an amazing woman...and your soooo pretty so I don't think you will have any problems "out there". I know thats probably the last thing from your mind but when it is on your mind you won't have any trouble haha...dammit i really suck at writing

This is going to be better for you in the long run...think about 5 years from now....how you will be happy and moved on...if he isn't putting an effort into this then f him...Im sorry that sounds so harsh, but im serious...you deserve so much better than what you have and have been getting imo

:bigsadhug aww Berk!!! i'm so sorry...please PM me if you ever need to talk!!!

Thanks girls.
He was just "telling me what I wanted to hear" before. He's completely checked out. I don't have anymore fight left in me. There comes a point where you can't keep putting you're self out there and you have to protect yourself.

Oh Berkeley. I'm so sorry you have to go through this :no I'm sorry he's being an asshole, and I'm sorry you aren't appreciated. Just know that I'm here for you if you ever need a shoulder :hugs

big :hugs

:hugs I'm so sorry

I hope that things will change once he gets back but right now you need to focus on you and taking care of yourself. You are emotionally exhausted and you need to gain back some of that strength! You can do it! :hugs

Thank you girls and BrittanyJo you are exactly right. I have to get me back. I can't just be like this until he decides. It's time I start calling the shots.

:hugs :hugs Time to lawyer up too Berk. You definitely don't want him all of a sudden deciding he wants xyz and the kids... Stupid motherfucking asshole...

Berkley yes you do need to take care of yourself first and you certainly have the right to call the shots here. I was really hoping that he wanted to work things out and go to counseling but if he is only telling you want you want to hear then he has a problem. He needs to be honest and not tell you things if he doesnt mean it. I wouldnt stand for that. You dont need to be on this emotional rollercoaster right now. I just feel bad for you that he is acting this way.

:hugehug

Of course we are not sick of it. This is what we are here for!

Oh Berkley, I'm so sorry to hear that. You've been through so much and put so much effort into fixing your relationship. I wish he would have put the same effort in too. :bigsadhug

:bigsadhug

I'm so sorry sweety!!

im sorry hun we ALL KNOW how hard you tried to make it work it takes two to make it work and you've done as much as you can.You can't be a one person relationship and you gave it everything you had

:bigsadhug:bigsadhugWow!!! so sorry hon:bigsadhug:bigsadhug:bigsadhug

I'm sorry he can't see what he's giving up. Sad that he won't even try. Do what's best for yourself and the kids. Take care of yourself and lots of luck on the job hunt.

Sorry if you're sick of reading about it..
But I talked to Matt last night and I'm just done. I can't keep fighting for what he obviously doesn't want to work. I've tried and tried and I simply cannot do it anymroe. I'm used up. I'm emotionally exhausted. Every time I got a glimmer of hope it wasn't what I thought it was. I'm looking for a job today and hopefully soon I can move out.
As far as I'm concerned right now he's an asshole. I love him dearly but right now I'm just plain mad. I've put 110% of me into this and it just sucks to finally see that he is not doing the same nor has he been. Maybe things will change when he gets home but I very much doubt it.
I told him I won't fight him on the divorce if he wants it he can have it.
I will fight him on the kids tho but to be honest I doubt that will be much of a fight. He hasn't been around them in over 4 years Plus we always said we'd never put the kids in the middle.
I'm back and forth with :tears and :vent

I don't think anyones sick of reading, Berk. We're here for you :hugs

I'm sorry it has to come down to this, but it's understandable :( Keep us updated on your job search and just how your doing.

How are the kids taking it or do they not know yet?

:hugs

I don't think anyones sick of reading, Berk. We're here for you :hugs

I'm sorry it has to come down to this, but it's understandable :( Keep us updated on your job search and just how your doing.

How are the kids taking it or do they not know yet?

oh they have no idea. I'm not sure when or hwo I will tell them.

I am so sorry, and I hope for you and the kiddos that everything works out for you and your kiddos.

Sweetie , I am so sorry. I hope that you find the strength you need for yourself and your kids. :( xoxox

thank you girls

I'm sorry :(

I know you'll do what's best for you & your kids :hugs

I know that this has been really hard on you, as it would be on anyone in your situation (each situation is unique, but you get the idea).

Maybe he needs you to step back and start doing your own thing completely. Sometimes people don't realise what they have until they have almost lost it totally. I am so sorry that you have to go through this, and I am always here if you need to talk. If he doesn't step up after you've stepped back, then at least you will know where you stand. I hope things work out how they are supposed to, and I am pulling for you.

I'm sorry :(

I know you'll do what's best for you & your kids :hugs

I'm hoping to find a job here on base. Generally it pays better. I'm going to go around this week and see what's open. I have a few friends whose dh's are higher ranking and they generally have the low down on what is available so hopefully I can get into something ASAP.
The next step is finding a place to live I HATE spring lake but I want to be near here so the kids arn't disrupted from school or anything plus I want to make as easy as possible for custody.
BLECH this whole situation is making me sick.

:pray:hug I'm so sorry! I hope things get better when he gets home.

:hugs i'm sorry sweetie.

I'm so sorry :hugs Just remember, things will be ok, you and your children are going to be just fine! Try and stay strong and start making some goals for yourself so you can get everything together for your new life. PLease let me know if you need anything!

i'm sorry girl!! :hugs
we r not tired of it tho;
that's what we r here for:
to offer an open ear
& a shoulder to lean on.

I'm so, so, sorry.

I hope a new door opens for you soon, whether it be you guys spliting up and starting the healing process, or working things out. You'll be in my thoughts!!

:hugs

I'm so sorry hun! :hugs