well, okay, that was a weird title for this. I dont know how to spin off of that fragment sentence now lol. (my brain is not quite working yet, so bare with me please)

Okay so DH is doing joint training in LA right now, and then they will be deploying in June. I have accepted that and am still dealing with it in my mind but that's not the problem. I understand how tight their bonds get, out of nessecity of course. I would want nothing less for my husband and his battle buddies because I'm sure being out there without family is one of the toughest things anyone can do, and they become family. What I'm not happy about is a girl in his battaltion. She is one of "those". you know what i mean. has to always be in the back of every guys mind. Has to always call for stupid reasons just so they hear her voice and remember she's alive. has to flirt with everyone. basically has to be the center of attention, and, yes, sleeps with alot of the guys. Now i trust my husband 99%. the 1% of mistrust isn't even from his end, it's from me not fully trusting ANYONE. I also know that in times of stress people can crack, expecially if a certain someone were to throw herself on him (sexually, or emotionally). I have been wondering to myself lately; "what would he do if she literally just started making out with him, or showed up naked in his barracks or whatever? what would he do if she just started undressing him and touching him? would he stop her? would he tell me? would he enjoy it? would he start an affair with her? etc etc etc" and I dont know WHY this crap is going through my mind. it might just be because i'm pregnant and lonely and miss my soldier more than I ever thought possible. BUt it still is upsetting me. I know that they are ALWAYS in very close contact because they just are, they work together, ya know?
Back in November when they went out to the feild at Ft. Irwin for NTC, there was an "incident" where I tried calling his phone and she answered, with sex music playing and a bedroom voice. I tried calling back allllllllll effin night but couldnt get through to my man until the NEXT night. (that day was his b-day too, so i got really pissed suspicious asto why he wasnt answering his phone) anyway, he told me that she was borrowing his phone and he had been at the pool hall with his srgt and battle buddies and they weren't allowed to leave alone so he was stuck there all night. And didnt here his phone ring all day. So yeah, i grilled him (i couldnt help myself, it was the preggo hormones! haha!) and he got mad at me for doing so because it meant i didnt trust him. I continually explained to him for about 2 months, why I would be suspicious and why ANYONE would be suspicious of what happened. He to this day says nothing happened and I need to stop worrying about it. so, i believe him, 99%. the other 1% i'm like, what if it DID happen and he's just lying?

so yeah I eavesdropped (yes, i did) on a phone call from her to him one EVENING ( that pisses me off, it's disrespectful to me for her to be calling him during his minimal time home with family) and he was so flirty, i got really upset and was just crying all night and he said "that's just the way she is, she's flirty with everyone, and I'm flirty too, you know that" and i know he is, but i still hurt me really bad because it was HER he was talking to.

So yeah the strange part is she would cal him all the time while they are at work (WTF?), and i finally texted her and said "this is joshs wife. are you fooling around with him? Or wanting to fool around with him? He gets way too excited when you call and I feel something's going on. I want the truth because if it's so then at least i know and i just want to move on with my life" expecting her to at least not be afraid to tell me because i said it "nicely" lol. She texted back with "hell naww, this may be new to you but i only like black guys" i was like, okayyyy. (she has since stopped calling him, as far as i know) Now what scared me even MORE about this statement, is all of my dh's battle buddies are telling him he's more black than they are bla bla bla you know how they give each other shit. and yeah, he's proud of it. men :dunno..lol anyway, i dont know i guess this is all a bunch of rambling. bottom line is i'm pregnant, lonely and scared of what may happen while he's deployed. I know him and with all my heart know he would never do anyting to hurt me, that's just who he is, but I dont know who he's going to be while he's gone and under serious stress and away from me and family for so long, and has this girl throwing herself on him, even if it's just emotionally. (emotional dependence would hurt me just as much as if they f*cked) if you know what i mean. :sigh


WHY am i so jealous of this stupid little girl?!?! I am never jealous. but this ONE, i just want to cunt punt!
:vent
sorry, i know this is a confusing thread and if you cant understand it or give any advice, it's all good. it's just makes me feel a bit better to release these thoughts onto paper (screen lol). thanks for listening :)

Wow, I wouldn't be comfortable with a woman frequently calling my house after work hours either. I can understand why you don't like her because it seems like she doesn't respect you (or any of the wives) and the boundaries of your home life.

As of right now, there is nothing you can do to figure out if your husband is telling the truth or not. There is no way to prove or disprove what he says. So you have to decide what you're going to believe. You have to choose to trust. If you don't, you will drive yourself insane with worry and what ifs. You'll be miserable. You will take it out on your husband and if he's telling the truth then that won't be fair to him and it will drive a wedge between you guys.

Even though its hard, you have to direct your thoughts and choose to dwell on the positive.

If I were you, then I would probably try to have a calm conversation with my husband and explain why this woman makes me uncomfortable. But the key is to explain so he doesn't get defensive and think you are blaming him. This woman and the way she conducts herself is wrong.

As your husband, he should care about making you feel secure and loved and therefore should listen to you. But again, talk to him calmly.

I hope you're able to get to the point of being able to find peace and rest in your relationship. I know how horrible it feels to question everything. If you need to vent or chat feel free to PM me.

:hugehug

I understand about being a little worried about flirty girls who have no respect for the bonds of marriage (or any relationship). The thing to rememebr is that you DO know your husband, and if you say that he wouldn't hurt you, then I believe that he wouldnt. I would just talk to him and try to explain why you are jealous, without it sounding like you don't trust HIM. Explain why you are worried about her and her actions. I hope everything works out for you, let me know if you need to talk!

thanks ladies. It is very difficult, and you're right, it's not fair to him for me to always be suspicious. i seriously have a hard time controlling myself though, since I know what those type of girls are capable of (my best friend from highschool was like that..so i know first hand...well, not first hand, but you know what i mean).
I guess i really do need to focus on the positive, otherwise i DO drive myself NUTTY! lol It's just whenever i do talk to him, even calmy, he gets so defensive of her and says i dont know what it's like to be a female soldier; they never know who they can trust because they're girls in a mostly male organization. so i'm like WTF i dont care! lol seriously not trying to be rude HUN, but did you ever think that is her sob story to get you to feel like you have some duty towards her so she can reel you in? lol jeeez.
okay sorry, this is turning into another vent. see i get myself worked up.
:sigh

well thank you for the hugs and support, it does help and does make me feel like i'm not alone, which is half the battle. He texted me earlier too so that made me hapy as well! :) lol

i just wish i could find some way to PROVE that she is interfering with our marriage and get the sgts or whoever on her ass about it so she doesnt try anything stupid. I really DO trust my husband (minus that 1% of course) but it's HER i dont trust with his kind heart and his well, male "appendages" lol. It's almost like I just dont know how he will deal under pressure and that's what scares me the most is NOT knowing. If i know, I can do something about it kwim?

oh well, he'll be home in a week or so and we'll just go from there. Am i out of line to bitch her out though if it starts again? i have a feelng it will, she just has no respect whatsoever. oh yes, and she looooves to "drunk" dial. i say bullshit, she's not drunk, that's her excuse to be a stupid skank. lol sorry, again.
okay jeez this is long. sorry!
i have to get back to my housework, talk to you all later :) and thanks again for listening to my silly little rant :)