Dealing with my first deployment. How do u deal with people saying "oh my gosh he's going to be gone for so long! That must suck!" U want to say "Why yes it does. Thank u for rubbing more salt in the wound." One that makes me down right angry is "The time will go faster than u think." No....it's not going fast now and I don't see it going any faster. I'm an emotional wreck and am having the worst time with this. Thank u in advance for the advice.

First of all :welcome to SOS! Civilians rarely know the right thing to say and more often then not they just drive all of us crazy. That's why we come to this site! It helps to have friends in similar situations. There are a lot of us in throws of our first deployment. You'll find the support and advice you need here.

Feel free to PM (private message) me anytime.

When I hear comments like that I honestly just tell them exactly what I think in a nice way.
If someone tells me "OMG that's a loooong time" I would tell them something like "Don't I know that :( hearing that doesn't really help right now"
I'm sure sometimes you just want to shock them but I try to think that they have no idea what they are saying so I better just let them know nicely so they try not to say coments like that again. They wont know what you are feeling unless they are going through it and most of the time when they say comments like that they are not trying to hurt you, they just don't know.
When you feel like that that's when you come here and vent ;)

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First of all :welcome to SOS! Civilians rarely know the right thing to say and more often then not they just drive all of us crazy. That's why we come to this site! It helps to have friends in similar situations. There are a lot of us in throws of our first deployment. You'll find the support and advice you need here.

Feel free to PM (private message) me anytime.

I agree. I don't believe they're saying these things to intentionally hurt you. They just aren't sensitive to your situation because they've never been there! Before DB joined the Army, I had a friend who's DB was Navy. He went on a 6 month deployment, and when he was about to return I was hanging out with my friend and said "Wow, he's already coming home??? That time FLEW by!" and she said "Well not for me!" I felt really bad when she said that, but I had no idea until DB joined the Army how hard it was to wait for them. :hang Glad you found this site. You'll get tons of support and sympathetic ears :)

in my situation i cannot say how long he'll be gone so i cant help ya there but by te time its almost time for your man to come home you kinds look at the calender and be like wow time flew... i know i do on every deployment...

i wish you luck and WELCOME to sos

I just let stuff like that slide in one ear and out the other when it's coming from people who aren't super close to me. They don't realize that they are basically kicking you in the nuts with saying those things. Just try to be gracious and tell them you hope things do go fast like they say and you apprecaite their concern.

With family/close friends I just earnestly have a chat in private with each of them about how things like that really don't help me and 99% of my family/friends have stopped with the dumb talk *chuckle*

i buy coloring books :D
for some reason when I get into doing something time seems to pass by so quickly! Like coloring, or painting, or organizing my room, or just picking up a new hobby (like I picked up clothes decorating) always helps. Reading some really good books helps too. If you want any book suggestiong, just PM me. I'll give you a BUNCH since I'm a nerd and I read A LOT :)

It helps if you have a job or school to keep your mind pre-occupied. Just make sure you dont slack on them because of him being gone and you feeling like you "just don't want to go"...that can get you into lots of trouble, I know it did for me.

And of course MSOS is always a great way to keep yourself entertained!! Lots to read about and respond to!

So :welcome and have fun here, we're all here to help each other out :yes

People who haven't gone through a deployment can't and won't understand your emotions. You can't expect them to. It does get easier though and like the other girls said, it is best to stay busy. Be an emotional wreck every once in awhile but you have to keep it together for your sanity as well as his. :hugs

You have to remember that they are trying to help, and just don't know what to say. Tell them how what they say makes you feel...hell, tell them what they need to do to be supportive. And yeah, it does suck- but you also need to go into it with the attitude that you will not be miserable the whole time, you know? Gosh, I've had times when all I wanted was to wake up at the end of a deployment or underway...and then I realized how much of my life that I'm wasting by wishing it all away...enjoy yourself as much as you can over the deployment, even when it is hard. I also have to stay busy- I have to have things to think about and to look forward to other than being one day closer to seeing my husband. He just left also...so I know where you're coming from. :)