Do you think we as a society in this country are enablers?

yes

I agree, I think we are big time.

Yes, most definitely.

Enablers of what?

Enablers of what?

Everything

^exactly.

Yep

Well, I guess that depends on the topic, but mostly, yes. Most people say what they will behind someone's back, but don't have the courage to say what needs to be said (in a positive way) to someone's face.

I can't answer because just saying "everything " is leaving me doing this:thinking

Do we as a country make excuses for things? For our actions? Blame our issues on other people or this or that? You know enabling?!

Do we as a country make excuses for things? For our actions? Blame our issues on other people or this or that? You know enabling?!

In this area, I can only speak truly for myself, and I honestly try to look at me before anyone else if I am having problems.

"Do what makes you happy" is the biggest enabling statement. Don't take responsibility for your actions, do what makes you happy. Because doing the right thing, sometimes, won't make you happy. But because we're all about not offending anyone, you can walk around feeling you're entitled to everything.

Yes

We are a society that cannot take responsibility for our actions, it's always someone else's fault.

We are a society that needs the government to tell us what's good/bad for us.

We are a society that teaches our children that they are all winners, instead of teaching them to learn from losing.

We are a society that teaches girls to be thin and sexy and does not teach them math and science.

We are a society that teaches boys to act manly, but nothing on honor and respect.

We as a society do not hold ourselves accountable, but expect accountability from others.

Yes

We are a society that cannot take responsibility for our actions, it's always someone else's fault.

We are a society that needs the government to tell us what's good/bad for us.

We are a society that teaches our children that they are all winners, instead of teaching them to learn from losing.

We are a society that teaches girls to be thin and sexy and does not teach them math and science.

We are a society that teaches boys to act manly, but nothing on honor and respect.

We as a society do not hold ourselves accountable, but expect accountability from others.

:yes:yes:yes:yes:yes

Do we as a country make excuses for things? For our actions? Blame our issues on other people or this or that? You know enabling?!

Enabling is putting someone else's needs ahead of your own to the detriment of both people involved. I think our country has some sense of entitlement and a lack of responsibility, but I think LACK of compassion is a cause for that, not so much compassion that we enable each other. :lol

i thinky that by asking if we are enablers is a blanket statement and can lead to so many other questions. i was hesitant in answering this simply because it is a blanket statement. in my opinion when you issue a blanket statement it is because you are aggrivated by something or someone in particular . do i feel that we are a country of enablers? sometimes yes and sometimes no. do i feel that we ALL enable? no i think there are a lot of people that do enable others but i do not for one second think that we all do. i know i am guilty of enabling on some levels and adamatly refusing to enable on other levels.
this is not an easy answer question in my opinion because the question can be spread wide and capture a plethora of different subjects and eclose an abundance of people in the right and in the wrong. so maybe if we discuss one topic at a time i could give a valid opinion but as it stands right now i can't . i can't because researching everything that i think or that others think under the large cap of enabling would take far to long.

Ok here is an example. Caseys thread about the safe havens. I see the point of having them but then I dont. When I mentioned adoption as an option someone told me its because teens hide pregnancies, etc. So by allowing things like safe havens to be used by teens to me is enabling our teen society to think its ok to have a baby and just leave it some where. this is my OPINION. so I dont want to debate it.

Enabling is putting someone else's needs ahead of your own to the detriment of both people involved. I think our country has some sense of entitlement and a lack of responsibility, but I think LACK of compassion is a cause for that, not so much compassion that we enable each other. :lol

Yes

We are a society that cannot take responsibility for our actions, it's always someone else's fault.

We are a society that needs the government to tell us what's good/bad for us.

We are a society that teaches our children that they are all winners, instead of teaching them to learn from losing.

We are a society that teaches girls to be thin and sexy and does not teach them math and science.

We are a society that teaches boys to act manly, but nothing on honor and respect.

We as a society do not hold ourselves accountable, but expect accountability from others.


I agree to most of the above. I also believe that we are big on..the government has to help us out. We are not responsible for ourselves and we expect handouts when we turn around. We don't want to take care of our country but we expect our country (aka government) to fork over everything to make our "wants" more important.

America, in a way, are spoiled brats.

Ok here is an example. Caseys thread about the safe havens. I see the point of having them but then I dont. When I mentioned adoption as an option someone told me its because teens hide pregnancies, etc. So by allowing things like safe havens to be used by teens to me is enabling our teen society to think its ok to have a baby and just leave it some where. this is my OPINION. so I dont want to debate it.

i don't see that as enabling teens to have babies & leave them somewhere... it's enabling those babies to have a chance to live, after being dumped in a safe place instead of a dumpster.

Enabling is putting someone else's needs ahead of your own to the detriment of both people involved. I think our country has some sense of entitlement and a lack of responsibility, but I think LACK of compassion is a cause for that, not so much compassion that we enable each other. :lol

sounds a lot like this war in iraq we have going on... just my opinion

Wow what a dpressing thread.
All depends on what you are subject too and how you view other people's actions
Also how you interpret the goings on around you.

Ok...The reason why I was confused was because enable is a simple term - and asking if we're a country of "enablers" makes is a complex subject.
en·a·ble /ɛnˈeɪbəl/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[en-ey-buhl] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–verb (used with object), -bled, -bling. 1. to make able; give power, means, competence, or ability to; authorize: This document will enable him to pass through the enemy lines unmolested.
2. to make possible or easy: Aeronautics enables us to overcome great distances.
3. to make ready; equip (often used in combination): Web-enabled cell phones.


It simply means to make it possible for someone to do something.

We *try* to enable people to: live safely, eat well, be healthy, and have shelter (from nature and harm) and be successfull in life. (You know -the right to life, liberty and the persuit of happiness)

Now - this desire to "help" (aka - enable) everyone to do all of these things has good and bad consequences/results.

And those consequences and results are what turn "enabled" acts into something, generally, good or bad - regardless of what the act is.

Definitely so!

hell yes!!! no one has to really take responsibility for anything.
irritates me to no end!

We are enabling people to start up multi-billion dollar corporations

We are enabling students to become more aware of the world

" " " Our children to become effective leaders....

I like how this thread took a negative down turn.

People HAVE to take responsiblity! There is no "get out of jail free" card in real life.
It may not seem like people take responsibilty, but in fact they do.

I think generalizations hurt more then help in this case. JMO

We are enabling people to start up multi-billion dollar corporations

We are enabling students to become more aware of the world

" " " Our children to become effective leaders....

I like how this thread took a negative down turn.

People HAVE to take responsiblity! There is no "get out of jail free" card in real life.
It may not seem like people take responsibilty, but in fact they do.

I think generalizations hurt more then help in this case. JMO

:rolleyes
yeah ok

:rolleyes
yeah ok

U say yes, the US enables people negatively why?

I do not see it that way. Do not just roll your eyes offer something...

I can debate my views... but not when there is nothing to debate against.

well ok
welfare for one (the ones who take advantage of it);
the fact that we are all "victims"
whether it be our past or our environment.
i just think people need to take responsibility for what they do.
if that makes me a bitch, then so be it.

We are a society that cannot take responsibility for our actions, it's always someone else's fault.

Says who? The banks know ti is their fault they are failing, hence why they need help. When you have NO money it is hard to help yourself. It does not mean there is no responsibility period.

We are a society that needs the government to tell us what's good/bad for us.

No... where? They provide rules and regulations... why? Umm b/c general good health laws are going to benefit the majority of people living in the US. If there were no laws or the gov't telling us what is good/bad for us where would we be at?

We are a society that teaches our children that they are all winners, instead of teaching them to learn from losing.

Since when? I understand at 8, but am pretty sure kids learn all about failure when they lose in compettitive sports, when they fail to get good grades, even when they fail in social situations. Schools promote sucess and discipline those who fail.

We are a society that teaches girls to be thin and sexy and does not teach them math and science.

We are a society that teaches boys to act manly, but nothing on honor and respect.

They scoiety teaches that? I think the responsiblity lies w/i the parent. It is not society's fault that the parents of male does not raise them with honor and respect on their mind. Look at music? Parents can restrict it, there is music, movies, novels etc about respect and honnor... it depends on the environment and the person.

We as a society do not hold ourselves accountable, but expect accountability from others.

When? Eg?

In general society is a vague word that should not be used when trying to answer specific questions. So, many different groups make up the complete society of Amercia, but the only societal views you are allowed to see are mainstream, and how people generally view "our society" (does that even make sense? Sorry it is late)

I disagree w/ these points in general... just me. I view things differently.

I am not being snarky or rude if it comes across that way I am sorry. My answers are based upon my experience and education...

ok welfare hmmmm for some it is a necessity and i do not look at it as enabling in a bad sense for those that do not abuse the system . i can say that on a personal level because we got assistance from welfare and used the system to get us back on track after we went from active duty to temporary retirement in a matter of just a few weeks.


not everyone is a "victim" or acts like a victim. i relish in the fact that we have had hard times and that by having those hard times i have learned to cope and my kids have learned how to deal with it as well. not everyone that IS a victim needs to be helped sometimes they need sympathy and if we enable them to get over whatever it is that they have been a victim of then i say do it. if we are enabling them to get better not if we are enabling them to sit right in the same spot wallowing in pity.

if someone blames the things that are wrong on others and it should be blamed on themselves then only those of us that listen and accept their words are enabling them right. so if we choose not to enable them to shift blame the only problem is getting them to accept it but if we allow them to continue shifting blame then we ourselves are the enablers. but maybe that can be turned around if we enable them to accept the blame themselves with hmmm lets say counceling or some other such device then we can actually have them face the reality that maybe the blame belongs to them. and in fact would be turning enabling into a good thing, instead of the negative connotation that it has right now.

i think it is all in the tone you set and the attitude you have. if you storm into something with a biased view and angry or aggrivated on top of it then you are going to be setting a negative on the situation but if you walk into it with an open mind and think how can this be resolved or how can i learn from this as well as how can i help someone else learn from it then you are bringing a positive to the situation.
my point in this last paragraph may be a little overworked so let me put it simply in the terms you put it in. if you walk into a thread with the attitude of whatever and roll your eyes and think this is my view and only it can be right and percieve yourself as being a bitch then you are probably going to come off as one. maybe if you come in with the attitude that you think you are right and deeply feel you are right but are willing to hear all sides of the debate then you are not going to come off in that negative light. it is all how you put yourself out there and take responsibility for your OWN actions.

but hey its just my opinion don't get mad at me

We are enabling people to start up multi-billion dollar corporations

We are enabling students to become more aware of the world

" " " Our children to become effective leaders....

I like how this thread took a negative down turn.

People HAVE to take responsiblity! There is no "get out of jail free" card in real life.
It may not seem like people take responsibilty, but in fact they do.

I think generalizations hurt more then help in this case. JMO

I actually absolutely agree with this. It is funny to me that people get SO ANGRY about those few people out there that they worry will "take advantage" of welfare that they are willing to cut program budgets to the point that they can't really help anyone anymore. While the federal reserve just signed $200 BILLION dollars of aid over to corporations who took risks that they KNEW could end in disaster but didn't care if they lost money because the government will always bail them out. $96 billion dollars of corporate welfare was handed out in 2006 BEFORE the housing crisis. The amount of waste in the government that costs the taxpayers hundreds of billions of dollars every year isn't a cause for concern, but the 1% of the federal budget that actually goes into the welfare program and some welfare mother who may get food stamps because someone else thinks she doesn't "deserve" them is the downfall of society? Really?

"Do what makes you happy" is the biggest enabling statement. Don't take responsibility for your actions, do what makes you happy. Because doing the right thing, sometimes, won't make you happy. But because we're all about not offending anyone, you can walk around feeling you're entitled to everything.

I agree.

yes

I actually absolutely agree with this. It is funny to me that people get SO ANGRY about those few people out there that they worry will "take advantage" of welfare that they are willing to cut program budgets to the point that they can't really help anyone anymore. While the federal reserve just signed $200 BILLION dollars of aid over to corporations who took risks that they KNEW could end in disaster but didn't care if they lost money because the government will always bail them out. $96 billion dollars of corporate welfare was handed out in 2006 BEFORE the housing crisis. The amount of waste in the government that costs the taxpayers hundreds of billions of dollars every year isn't a cause for concern, but the 1% of the federal budget that actually goes into the welfare program and some welfare mother who may get food stamps because someone else thinks she doesn't "deserve" them is the downfall of society? Really?

Aw :tyty

If you want to see more about the budget and see where your money goes

http://www.kowaldesign.com/budget/budget.html

Do we as a country make excuses for things? For our actions? Blame our issues on other people or this or that? You know enabling?!

YES! I have noticed this and as I grow older, I seem to notice it more and more.

That is a really great question because it makes me think...and all I can come up with is I don't know

We are a society that cannot take responsibility for our actions, it's always someone else's fault.

Says who? The banks know ti is their fault they are failing, hence why they need help. When you have NO money it is hard to help yourself. It does not mean there is no responsibility period.

I was not talking about banks, I was referring to frivolous lawsuits and people that blame their actions or childhood, parents, the dog etc...

We are a society that needs the government to tell us what's good/bad for us.

No... where? They provide rules and regulations... why? Umm b/c general good health laws are going to benefit the majority of people living in the US. If there were no laws or the gov't telling us what is good/bad for us where would we be at?

The government has to tell us that cigarettes and excessive alcohol, drugs and fast food are bad for us.
And we are happy to sue after eating MCDonald's everyday for 10 years "cause we didn't know it was bad for us"

There is a difference between laws and plain common sense, I know if I stick my hand in a fire I am going to get burned, the government doesn't need to tell me that.

We are a society that teaches our children that they are all winners, instead of teaching them to learn from losing.

Since when? I understand at 8, but am pretty sure kids learn all about failure when they lose in compettitive sports, when they fail to get good grades, even when they fail in social situations. Schools promote sucess and discipline those who fail.

Sorry I can't agree, a child should learn from their failures or mistakes, they shouldn't have to reach the age of 8 to introduce them to real life situations.

I have a daughter, that despite all of our efforts refused to do her work at school and was failing all of her classes, I asked the school to hold her back the next school year, they refused because that would damage her self esteem. I've heard that is very rare for a student to be held back.

What a way to learn that actions have consequences.

We are a society that teaches girls to be thin and sexy and does not teach them math and science.

We are a society that teaches boys to act manly, but nothing on honor and respect.

They scoiety teaches that? I think the responsiblity lies w/i the parent. It is not society's fault that the parents of male does not raise them with honor and respect on their mind. Look at music? Parents can restrict it, there is music, movies, novels etc about respect and honnor... it depends on the environment and the person.

Of course the responsibly lies with the parents, but the environment we live in plays a major part, parents can restrict music all the want, but what happens after the child leaves the house?

How many times have Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Lindsey Lohan been on the news, compared to those killed in Iraq, the Mars Rover mission or the situation in Darfur?

While it has gotten a bit better, being a nerd meant you were being ridiculed and bullied. In a society that values education that wouldn't be the case, ex. Japan, India.

http://www.livescience.com/health/070827_girls_math.html
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/12/04/AR2007120400730.html

We as a society do not hold ourselves accountable, but expect accountability from others.

When? Eg?
How many times, have you heard anyone caught committing a crime or anything else say, I messed up, it my fault.

In general society is a vague word that should not be used when trying to answer specific questions. So, many different groups make up the complete society of Amercia, but the only societal views you are allowed to see are mainstream, and how people generally view "our society" (does that even make sense? Sorry it is late)

I disagree w/ these points in general... just me. I view things differently.

I am not being snarky or rude if it comes across that way I am sorry. My answers are based upon my experience and education


You don't come across as snarky or rude, I like the way you look at things.

I agree the question is vague, that's why my answers were not specific, of course no everyone is like that, this place would be truly hopeless then.

But those are the ones you mostly hear about, I once heard a 6 yr old telling another kid that she was going to sue him.
Why? he wouldn't share his toys.

Lol I agree. I see your points
Fast food cigarettes adnexcedssive alcohol are problems... hence the consequences... if people want to sue any of the companies mentioned... well they lack common sense. And if they want to waste money b/c they were stupid more power to them! :rofl