Im getting really upset about this deployment, he leaves in about a week, and be gone for 15months. He won't hardly talk to me about it, and he is distancing himself from me. This weekend he did nothing but party at other peoples houses, and i only saw him for a little while.

It just hurts because i want to spend as much time with him, but then i understand he wants to do things he won't be able to. Its even more upsetting that he won't be able to talk on the phone/internet but every other 30 days. It just hurts, a lot. He hasn't even been interested in going into the bedroom, has anybody gone through this?

Have you ever just felt like he is just closing you out? Its just so weird because things have never been like this between us...:tears

I am sorry :hugs I never actually been to that kinda stuff but it might be because I dont live with him yet! Anyway, i can understand that he wants to do things that he wont be able to for the next whole year. Just cherish all little time that you have with him so you wont regret it. I am sure he will come along.

I don't think I'm alone when I say that I've experience him pulling away right before he goes. Try your best not to take it personaly. I think its something they do to prepare themselfs emotionaly. I read in a few books that its fairly common. I know that when DF left he warned me that he was going to have to do that right before he left. Keep your head up and spend every second you can enjoying him!

I can say that the week before he left our bedroom time was non-existent, we were both so stressed about everything so I can feel ya there. He didn't do any partying since we're both kinda old and moldy *chuckle* I hope everything works out for y'all :hugehug

Its hard getting ready to say the whole goodbye thing, it always is... But the whole distancing himself away from you is just a coping thing. Its almost as if they do not want to believe that they are really leaving. Don't take it persoanlly because he probably is not doing it to purposely hurt your feelings. Maybe you should try to talk to him about it. Or you could plan things for just you and him to do. Sometimes they forget that it is going to kill you when they leave.

YES! although DH wasn't deploying he was leaving for extensive training on a new aircraft. but it sucked. it was only a few months after we were married and my first time with him leaving. when he talked to his friends he made it sound like he was totally excited, and i know he wasn't going to break down and cry to his friends about leaving me but it certainly sucked hearing "Yeah man, i can't wait."

He never wanted to talk about it, and more or less acted like nothing was happening. And as far as sex goes he would never inititiate and when i would he'd either slyly ignore it or just say he was tired. i was totally crushed.

i posted about it too and everyone says it is normal. he's still gone so hopefully it was just a phase. but i'm sure it is.

my best advice is to just try and give him his space BUT also make it clear that it is important to you to have time for just the two of you. sometimes men just need straightforward and blunt directions. don't hint. it doesn't work.

good luck! and stay strong. :hugs

The "professionals" say that it is common for them to start distancing themselves so that it's not to hard to say goodbye, but that then they realize what's happening and start really missing you.

It'll all be ok, don't worry. :)

DH's first deployment was like that. He pushed me away a lot. This one was a little better though. You just have to keep reminding him that you are therre for him. You won't d everything you want to do but you have to make the best use out of the time you do have left. Deployments aren't a walk in the park but you can get through it.