im so worried and sad. I found out that my fiancee will be deploying in several months and im just a mess. I have no clue how to deal with it?! I keep thinking the worst and i know thats not helping. I want to be strong and supportive for him, but i just feel so sad! Does anyone have any advice for getting through this??:(

Waiting for him to deploy is worse than after he actually leaves (MOST of the time...I mean we all have our mopey days) because you aren't sure what to expect and it STRESSFUL. Try to focus on the time you have with him right now and make the most of it. After he leaves stay busy: write him letters, mail packages, work, school, gym, start a new hobby...do whatever takes your focus off of him being gone. Every now and then take a day or so to miss him and be completely useless...while letting us make you feel better of course. :) The first few days are the hardest and then you get a little routine going and before you know it he'll be home. This is my first deployment too (I'm only a week in) so PM me if you need anything. I might be able to help.

Thanks that really helped and thats exactly how i feel its even worse since i have no clue what to expect. We are already apart now because he is at Fort Bragg, NC and im in Arizona. I will see him at least two more times before he leaves but its still sad. Im used to us being apart so i can deal with that but it just the fact that he is going somewhere so dangerous that freaks me out

DB got activated last October to leave in January but you can tell by my ticker that that didn't exactly happen. Silly USMC and there non-planing. Anyway...from the time he was activated (he's in the reserves) from the time he left (so October to March) we were apart except for a week or so at Christmas and pretty much every weekend once his deployment got closer. The being apart for his training sucked but I think it would have been harder for me to watch him leave if we'd spent every previous day together. So in a way, you're lucky that he's away for a bit before. Think of it as practice. My point is that each time you have to say goodbye, even though you know it's only a weekend, it gets harder because you know the next time it might be for MONTHS but when that time comes you'll already know the drill. I think that was the hardest part. By the time he left I was just so emotionally drained. I promise it gets easier. Appreciate every second you're with him while he's still stateside and just keep supporting him throughout. He's knows you're strong enough which is why he picked you. Knowing that he has that kind of faith in you is what will get you through this deployment. And the girls here. :D

Sorry that was so long lol...I do have one more thing to add though. The "dangerous" part is hard and we all know what you're going through with that. Try not to get him freaked out about it though. Whether he shows it or not, he's just as terrified as you are and he needs you to be positive. I made the mistake of getting drunk a few times before DB left and crying about the possibility we all fear. It made it harder for him and it got to the point that I wouldn't drink with him because I knew I'd end up letting him see how scared I was. Think positive. ALL OF OUR BOYS ARE COMING HOME. They have to...it's the only way to stay semi-sane while he's gone. :D Hope this helps and again, sorry it's so long.

No dont be sorry about it being long lol, it helps to talk to someone who has been through all of this! thanks so much for your advice, and your probably right about it being easier since we are already apart. But yeah he knows im worried, but i dont want to freak him out with my worries so its nice to be able to talk about everything here, so the n i can just be supportive when i talk to him!! i have has such a hard day, but this really helped thank you soo much!!

No dont be sorry about it being long lol, it helps to talk to someone who has been through all of this! thanks so much for your advice, and your probably right about it being easier since we are already apart. But yeah he knows im worried, but i dont want to freak him out with my worries so its nice to be able to talk about everything here, so then i can just be supportive when i talk to him!! i have has such a hard day, but this really helped thank you soo much!!

Hey...Carolinahokie is exactly right...

waiting for him to leave is the absolute WORST thing....i swear...after hes gone you can actually start counting down the days...

if you need ANYTHING at all please let me know...is your so army?

Hey girl, you can do this! I too have my BF at Ft. Bragg, while I live in Florida. Deployment is tough, but like me, you are already dealing with separation. I'm not gonna lie, it will be rotten some days :biting, and then others you feel like you're unstoppable :dancing There's nothing like talking to your honey after not hearing from him for a while. A great phone conversation after days (or sometimes weeks) of not hearing from him will make you feel like you can FLY!
Like the other ladies have said... keep yourself busy, busy, busy. We all have our days. My BFs last deployment, I was an absolute mess for the first month (and we were just friends back then). Let yourself cry, eat too much pizza, have a couple glasses of wine (be safe, tho), look at pictures, write a journal... and then pick yourself up and remind yourself that you are a strong woman and you can do this. Take things one day at a time. PM me if you have any questions, or just need to chit chat.

Hey, we're at Bragg and going through the exact same thing. We moved here in January and we found out the day he reported that they were being deployed mid-April. It sucks! It's been such a rollercoaster of emotions from sad to annoyed to distant. Try not to think of the inevitable while he's still around and try to enjoy the communication you have now. :hugs PM me if you need to talk.

I know how you feel, Christy. We're getting ready for my DB's first deployment, too. I'm trying not to think about it too much, because I'm not quite sure what to expect, how to handle it, etc. But you gals all have good advice (especially the part about eating too much pizza haha) -- I think staying busy is the key. And making the most of the time before he leaves! If you need to talk, Christy, feel free to PM me.

The anticipation of deployment is the worst for me. Once it actually happens then you are better equipped to develop a routine so that you can be strong for him and more importantly, yourself. It's not fun, I won't lie, but deployments are something that you can get through. You will be 10x stronger afterwards!

I know exactly howyou feel, DH deploys Tuesday. It's been a nightmare and I have a feeling that the nightmare is not over yet.

I'm with everyone else on the fact that the build up to deployment is worse than him actually being gone!

But I do slightly disagree with one thing. My DB and I have always said that we are a team, that we are in this together and so we'll get through it together! If I am scared, I tell him. I know to some extent it's important to be strong for him, but as much as you are there for him for support, remember that he is still your partner and there for you for support as well!

Not that I'm an expert but I'm at least friendly and scared and missing my DB times a million so I can try to relate. :) PM me if you need anything.

I'm with everyone else on the fact that the build up to deployment is worse than him actually being gone!

But I do slightly disagree with one thing. My DB and I have always said that we are a team, that we are in this together and so we'll get through it together! If I am scared, I tell him. I know to some extent it's important to be strong for him, but as much as you are there for him for support, remember that he is still your partner and there for you for support as well!

Not that I'm an expert but I'm at least friendly and scared and missing my DB times a million so I can try to relate. :) PM me if you need anything.

I agree. My DB and I made a pact that we would never put on a front or hide our feeling for the sake of the other one. I tell him about my bad days and he tells me about his. Kind of hold each other up.. Deployments suck bottom line. But it you can do it. The two of you just need to figure out what works for you. :dunno I don't know I could be completely wrong.

My DB left for his first deployment to Iraq not too long ago. It has it's ups and downs. My advice would be to try your hardest to spend lots of time with him now. Try not to think about it that much, if you do you might regret being so sad when there wasn't much to be sad about.(been there. done that.) Enjoy and cherish the time you have left with him now. STAY POSITIVE! Negative thoughts serve no good to anyone, just try to feed off of positive thoughts for now. Just try to go out and have fun like you normally would. He will need that, and so will you. It's okay to talk about it when the time is drawing near, but try not to be negative or obsessive. The best thing you can do is cherish the time you have left, stay strong for each other, stay positive, and know that everything will be okay.

let me know if you ever need help.

We are awaiting for DF deployment 2 more months. This is my 1st DD and his 3rd.. Good thing he will be going to the same place as last time but its for 15mos now.

I felt like I had to be really strong to show him I would be okay when he was gone and I think he appreciated that. It was really hard for his family and for him when he left but I am a strong believer in optimism a positive thinking :) Yeah, of course, I worry about him but I don't let that overtake my attitude towards his deployment.

The advice I give is try (*because sometimes its REALLY hard, everyone has bad days) to be positive and strong because deployments dont last forever. :)

Thanks Girls that is all really good advice! i really appreciate your support : )

stay strong and know you can do this!! deployments suck ass, full stop! but know once you've survived this not only will you be stronger so will your relationship!!

know that every emotion you have from the sense of loss, to the irrational anger, to the struggling to get out of bed on a morning .. it is all completly normal and i promise you most ladies on here have been there and felt it! so if you are feeling down tell us, if you are ecstatic casue you got a call tell us!!

we are all here to help.......and i promise since i found SOS this deployment has become so much easier!!

if you ever need to talk pm me! but good luck and stay strong!