How much of your past do you share with your children? How much will you share with them? What are appropriate and inappropriate things to share? For example, will you share about your first time in order to discourage your daughter or son from having sex to young? Will you share about your drug experimentation? etc

I will be sharing all about my past if my child asks. I won't go into details and such but if they ask me about losing their virginity I will say it is better to wait because my first time wasn't special, it wasn't wonderful, that I wish I knew the full repercussions of my actions. I will share about the alcohol abuse that I took part in and that it was a big big mistake. I have never done drugs so I can't share in that realm. I don't see the point in making myself out to be perfect because I am not. I hope to have an open dialog with my children

I'm not sure. My mom let it slip once that she smoked pot in college (in the 70s) and we totally make fun of her about it (lovingly of course).

I will share, at an age appropriate level, whatever they want to know or I think they need to know based on the situation (ie if a conversation about a topic comes up and I think my experience would be beneficial for them to know). I won't hide anything.

I agree I will share my past with my son (and future children) but if its age appropriate and when I think they can handle some honestly because I wouldn't tell a 5 year old that I lost my virginity before being married.... But I wouldn't make myself a perfect person and lie because it creates a snowball effect and I wouldn't want to teach my child not to lie while I'm lieing to cover up more lies

I agree I will share my past with my son (and future children) but if its age appropriate and when I think they can handle some honestly because I wouldn't tell a 5 year old that I lost my virginity before being married.... But I wouldn't make myself a perfect person and lie because it creates a snowball effect and I wouldn't want to teach my child not to lie while I'm lieing to cover up more lies

true true age appropriate of course

I will. Yes, age appropriate though

It depends on the kids. I will not be lying to my kids about anything, though. How I tell them things will depend on their age and maturity level, but I see no reason to pretend like I am something I am not.

I will share, at an age appropriate level, whatever they want to know or I think they need to know based on the situation (ie if a conversation about a topic comes up and I think my experience would be beneficial for them to know). I won't hide anything.

Yep that. :agree

Breanna is 7 and I've told her little things like pets I used to have, showed her all the schools I went to, told her some songs/artists I listened to, etc. Stuff like that.

Now when older I'll open up a bit more. I can't say I'll share everything though. But I definetly won't tell her about things before the time is right and she is old/mature enough to understand.

Well I don't have kids yet, but dh and I have talked about this and for now (we might change our minds) have come to the decision that as for sex history we are not going into detail unless we feel our children are at risk (I have a really bad violent history and don't want my children exposed to that unless I fear that they are at risk of experiencing the same thing.)

As for drugs dh will explain to them that he has done drugs, I never have. He only did weed and only every once in a while, he will tell them the stupid things that he did high and how it effected his life.

Age appropriate Yes. My sons are old enough now and we talk about most things that happened to me growing up into an adult. ( not all details though)
We have discussions about drink and drugs and they are very well informed.
(I didnt really have problems growing up but other family around me did.)
My youngest held a Debate about drug and alcohol abuse at school last year when he was 14 . He researched everything ,interviewed adults, like Doctors Teachers and former abusers before the debate so that he would be able to respond to the other students with more factual information. He even ordered information leaflets to give out to the other students.
Both my boys are growing up very welladjusted and aware of the societies problems. The most important thing is that they have learnt to respect others .They stand up for other people if they see they are unfairly treated.
I would like to think its because we always tried to answer their questions and respect their views as they grew up.

There are parts I will leave out... I don't want her to know how many guys I've been w/....It's not something I'm proud of, I don't want her to know about all the pre-martial sex I've had (I hope this doesn't make me sound like a hoe....it's not like a LOT, just more than I want her to know about) But I don't mind telling her about like my drinking problem in the past- I've learned from that, and made mistakes because of it, and maybe that could save her from making those mistakes?? Also, I've had a past w/ pot... So I could say "yea, it wasn't all its cracked up to be" and actually mean it....I don't know. I want to be honest w/ her and hopefully she could see how I've learned from my mistakes and maybe it'll teach her to just not make them??

No, I wouldn't share my first time having sex, I don't want to estrange my children from me. I think if my mom had talked to me about her first time, I'd feel awkward for the rest of my life. I never had any drug experiences so I'd just keep telling them to stay away from it or I will kill them!

I will share other things from my past though that I feel will help them see where I am coming from for different things.

I will share, at an age appropriate level, whatever they want to know or I think they need to know based on the situation (ie if a conversation about a topic comes up and I think my experience would be beneficial for them to know). I won't hide anything.


:agree :yes but age and situationally appropriate. For example, I am 22 now and there are still many things I do not know about my aunt who raised me. Things are slowly coming out, when the time is right and she feels like talking, and as I've gotten older, I've been able, and will be able to support her through many of the things she still deals with... but more than us being "friends", and my knowing everything about everything.... she felt it was, and still is her duty to guide, teach, and protect me from, and based on her struggles.

I appreciate that so much more, than in the case of my biological mom who just kind of threw me into the ocean of all her "issues" and fuck ups, and etc, from an early age KWIM?

This is an interesting question and I have thought about it before. I was married and divorced rather quickly at a young age. I have no children as of yet, but someday when I do will I tell them about my previous marriage? It's not that I would want to hide it, but how would it ever come up? It's not like they would ever meet my ex-husband or have a need to. I just know that if I found out when I was 30 that my Mom had been previously married before my Dad I would be upset that I hadn't known before then... Anyone been in a similar situation?

This is an interesting question and I have thought about it before. I was married and divorced rather quickly at a young age. I have no children as of yet, but someday when I do will I tell them about my previous marriage? It's not that I would want to hide it, but how would it ever come up? It's not like they would ever meet my ex-husband or have a need to. I just know that if I found out when I was 30 that my Mom had been previously married before my Dad I would be upset that I hadn't known before then... Anyone been in a similar situation?

My mother was previously married before my father and she let me know when I was young but only because she let me know that my brother had a different father. If she didn't have any children with her first husband I don't think I would of cared much but if you are going to tell your children that you were married before then let them know what happened because now that I do now my mother was married before I want to know what happened and she never told me. It leaves my mind to wander off too much

If they are at a mature age, where they can listen to your conversation with in a mature manner, I'm all for sharing past experiences.
I mean, i wouldn't share my first time or drug experiences with my 12 year old daughter... But onces they reach an age and maturity level, I don't see the harm in it.

Yes I will. I want to them know that sex before marriage has its consequences and not even pregnancy as the biggie, but the emotional aspect of it as well. I never did drugs but my mom did and I will tell them about what the effects did to me. If they ask, I will answer truthfully. *I forgot to add that even though it can be embarassing for me and might seem harsh to tell them about such things, I have to keep in mind that the world is worse and will have no mercy with my kids. I rather be the one educating them than their friends.*