It had been a month since my SO called me.. It was so surreal, i couldn't believe he was calling me. Since it was so long since i last heard his voice, I could hardly recognize his voice. I've been writing to him daily and he writes to me every week. Sometimes it feels like we're writing a love story where I am the star of the movie and he is my navy bf... sometimes i forget that it's not just a story we write on paper, it's our reality. Because of this, I couldn't make the connection that the same guy who I was speaking to was the man i love with all of my heart. I seemed so distant towards him and all i could tell him was "it's just not the same". I still loved him but at the time of the phone call my heart wasn't connecting with him telling me that he loved me... It wasn't until he hung up that i realized what he meant to me,... i remembered all of the times we shared and every wonderful thing he's done for me. Now i miss him as if he just left yesterday... I don't know what to do to make it up to him. I feel so heartbroken and guilty that I wasn't able to tell him when i could how much i know i love him...:unlove

It had been a month since my SO called me.. It was so surreal, i couldn't believe he was calling me. Since it was so long since i last heard his voice, I could hardly recognize his voice. I've been writing to him daily and he writes to me every week. Sometimes it feels like we're writing a love story where I am the star of the movie and he is my navy bf... sometimes i forget that it's not just a story we write on paper, it's our reality. Because of this, I couldn't make the connection that the same guy who I was speaking to was the man i love with all of my heart. I seemed so distant towards him and all i could tell him was "it's just not the same". I still loved him but at the time of the phone call my heart wasn't connecting with him telling me that he loved me... It wasn't until he hung up that i realized what he meant to me,... i remembered all of the times we shared and every wonderful thing he's done for me. Now i miss him as if he just left yesterday... I don't know what to do to make it up to him. I feel so heartbroken and guilty that I wasn't able to tell him when i could how much i know i love him...:unlove

If I were you I would get a letter out quick..........tell him what you just told us. :hugs

If I were you I would get a letter out quick..........tell him what you just told us. :hugs

:agree and :hugs

The first thing I thought of was to get a letter out quick as well!

Write a letter. Just explain it to him.

:hugs

I remember feeling that way when dh was deployed last. I call it deployment armour. I put it on as soon as I have left him. I will cry my eyes out on the plane, for about 3 hrs, after that- I take a deep breath and suit up.

When I talked to him, it didn't feel the same. And I think that's because I didn't let it. If it let myself love him as much as I do when I'm with him, I'd be a complete mess. Like I was in his first deployment. Now he's back and it's just like old times. I love him, he drives me up the wall but I love him :)

I think what you are feeling is completely normal- but I don't think he understands and he's probably going to worry if you don't explain your feelings to him.

I'd send him some mail :)

I can understand. Sometimes it's such a shock to hear their voice. Don't be hard on yourself. Maybe send him his favorite picture of you two and write on the back of it in addition to a letter? Mine likes getting pictures from home.

Mail... I understand why you feel like you messed up. You guys are newbies to the whole military experience and the first thing you hear about over and over are "Dear John" letters. I remember analyzing what I said after the phone calls and writing explanations in the letters. He was DB then, too. You will make it through this, and it will ALL BE WORTH IT!!!

Thanks ladies! it all really helps.

A letter is perfect...Like everyone else said. He loves you and you defianetly love him. Just because you lost moment doesn't make that any different. Explain how you feel to him and just pour it out. Just because you didn't say it in that "right" time doesn't mean that when you do tell him it won't be perfect. Good luck and please don't beat yourself up over this.

A letter is perfect...Like everyone else said. He loves you and you defianetly love him. Just because you lost moment doesn't make that any different. Explain how you feel to him and just pour it out. Just because you didn't say it in that "right" time doesn't mean that when you do tell him it won't be perfect. Good luck and please don't beat yourself up over this.

:agree

yep, mail out that letter with big i love yous all over it

A letter! I agree with the letters. Actually, I went through is. When dh first called home if just felt like he was foreign to me. After 4 weeks out, I finally was able to get in the swing of things.