OK, so DB and I haven't been together quite 2 months yet...Yes, it's a new relationship. Yes, it's an LDR. And, yes, he's about to be deployed.

ALL OF MY FRIENDS are telling me, "Meh, it won't work" or "Don't get your hopes up of this lasting until he gets back" or "You're going to keep dating others, right?" or "LDRs NEVER work!"

CAN SOMEONE JUST SUPPORT ME PUH-LEASE!?!?! They're all looking at me with poor pity eyes and aren't giving me any support regarding me being concerned about this deployment. I'm stressed enough without their pessimism and lack of interest adding to it...:gloomy

Geez :worry

People can be assholes. I can't tell you how many people said DH and I wouldn't work out and we proved them all wrong. You have to follow your own heart and maybe take a deeper look at the friendships you have with people who say such negative things.

OK, can I just join you in venting about that?

Same for me. DB and I just passed 3 months... I haven't seen him in a little over 1 due to underways. We were living close-ish but he also recently relocated to about 3 hours away from me.

Questions/comments I've gotten:
"So are you going to break up with him before or after deployment?"
"He only emails you a couple times a week? You better tell him that's not acceptable."
"LDRs hardly ever work out."

Thank you, your comments are just SO supportive. :sarcasm

Not to mention... no one really gets how emotional I am or how much this is affecting me. Without having any contact with someone when a relationship is so new, and gearing up for deployment at the same time... sometimes I just need to be able to cry and tell you this freakin' sucks! And then I will be ok. The things that go through my own head are bad enough, don't need anymore, thankyouverymuch. :vent

Whew, I feel better! :) Just trying to say... yep, I know how you feel.

Most LDR don't work. HOWEVER, that does not mean your realtionship is doomed at all. I think when you find the right man and your in love. The distance doesn't matter. So to hear you talk. It's sounds like it could work =) and I think that's a beautiful thing. Fate and Destiny. If it's meant to be it will be.

I hope it works and your heart is happy =) (L) ya

I used to hear that all the time...i mean lets face it...this is a hard thing to go through as a new couple it adds a lot of STRESS to your relationship, but at least when its all over you will both have gone through something that a lot of peoplpe can't say they have...you know that you can make it through anything!!!

so just look at them and smile, becuase you are going to go through an experiance that is going to make you stronger, make him stronger, and make both of you stronger as a couple (lets hope) and they will never get a a chance to go through that

You'll be ok. I have the same thing, I'm in Baltimore and he's in Jax. We're going on 6 months now and we take turns flying to see each other for long weekends and holidays, and talk on the phone every night. He leaves on whatever the Navy calls deployment soon, but I'm not worried. I mean really what's another 1000 miles, when he can still call or email all the time.

Just don't listen to your friends when they're being negative and remember you can always talk here where folks understand what's going on. :D

I mean really what's another 1000 miles, when he can still call or email all the time.



That's EXACTLY my thinking!!!!!! THANK YOU FOR THAT! :handshake

If this were another time, when the technological advances we have didn't exist, I definitely think it'd be close to impossible!

Thank you ALL of you (DutchGirl, we get each other!) for listening to me :)

:chest

:hugs you can totally do this. i used to hear stuff like that too back when i was in college. obviously, it worked out :D if you love each other and are willing to dedicate time and effort to your relationship, you can survive distance and a deployment.

I used to hear that all the time...i mean lets face it...this is a hard thing to go through as a new couple it adds a lot of STRESS to your relationship, but at least when its all over you will both have gone through something that a lot of peoplpe can't say they have...you know that you can make it through anything!!!

so just look at them and smile, becuase you are going to go through an experiance that is going to make you stronger, make him stronger, and make both of you stronger as a couple (lets hope) and they will never get a a chance to go through that

This is exactly how I feel about it! People in civilian relationships THINK they get it, but they have no idea (this sounds like behind the music....)

Sounds like they simply just don't get it. Screw that kind of "support." DB and I hadn't been together real long before his deployment and we're still going great! I'm actually able to hold it together. :yay

Come here where you'll find really good support! It IS difficult - but if the two of you really love each other, you will find a way to make it work.

I did a LDR with my DB before he deployed - he was in Cali, me in WI - and we made it work. Now it just happens to be a few more thousand miles and we can't talk as much. But we still love each other.

People are assholes. DB and I were together 6 months, and then have been LDR for over a year and a half (through Bootcamp, A-school, and a deployment).... and we're hanging in there. We'll be 2 years LDR by the time it's (hopefully) over.

You can do it, if you really want to. So don't listen to them. Do what you feel in your heart. It's hell'a hard, but it can be so worth it!

As far as I'm concerned, deployment sure as hell adds like a million times more value to a relationship and if you guys can make it through this together then you probably will have a better relationship than any of your other friends are in. Don't let it get to you because once they see that you're gonna be strong and that you want to stay in this relationship then they'll probably back off. For someone who has never been in that situation, it's hard for them to understand why you would want to be with someone who is getting deployed. It's understandable, even though it's very naive. Be strong!

I'm so glad to hear everyone saying that it can work. My boyfriend of 8 months is about to be deployed at the end of the year and nothing scares me more than losing him. During his first deployment he was married and needless to say it didn't work out. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me and knowing that other people do it makes me believe that I can do it. Thanks!

OK, so DB and I haven't been together quite 2 months yet...Yes, it's a new relationship. Yes, it's an LDR. And, yes, he's about to be deployed.

ALL OF MY FRIENDS are telling me, "Meh, it won't work" or "Don't get your hopes up of this lasting until he gets back" or "You're going to keep dating others, right?" or "LDRs NEVER work!"

CAN SOMEONE JUST SUPPORT ME PUH-LEASE!?!?! They're all looking at me with poor pity eyes and aren't giving me any support regarding me being concerned about this deployment. I'm stressed enough without their pessimism and lack of interest adding to it...:gloomy

Geez :worry

the truth of it is...it takes two really strong people to make it work! It's hard and sometimes people don't understand cus maybe they wouldn't be able to make it in that situation but if you can than all that much power to you.

I am sorry you hang around such pessimistic people. I went through the same things with my family and friends and guess what? We got married :)

Girl! I am going thru the same thing. I've even had someone go as far as (sarcastically) to say... "So, are you guys just gonna cheat on each other, or what?":vent HOLY CRAP, CAN YOU BELIEVE sOMEONE WOULD ACTUALLY SAY THAT?!?! :duh

Someone said earlier about deployments and/or LDRs adding value to a relationship... this is sooooo true. DB and I were just friends on his last deployment, and we got together when he got back. I don't think we would be as happy **or connected** as we are now, if we hadn't started our relationship out with a deployment first. We couldn't have the physical connection that so many people base their relationships off of, but we made the mental and emotional connections that so many relationships fail to ever really achieve (which I'm sure you can understand).

You will be fine... you know your relationship better than anyone else... don't let the pessimists drag you down... tell them how their comments make you feel, and if they don't understand or don't change their ways, leave them in the dust and find some supportive people (like all of our sisters here on the board) who make you feel good and help you stay positive.:tu

ha ha. it's all too familiar. i love my friends, and i don't think they mean to hurt me, but like the other girls said on here "they just don't get it". My DB is in Iraq. I have heard numerous comments such as:
"LDR don't work"
"You know he could die, you have to keep that in mind"
"I just dont see how you can do that"
Sometimes they act like im crazy for not wanting anyone else but him. At first I was furious that my friends would say such things, but now i just talk myself down and remember that they just don't get it.
im learning through this deployment that the only support i truly have is from myself, this website, and the love of my life. it's enough for me.

OH! just had to add this one...my parents got divorced after like 30 years b/c my mom changed a lot (for the worse) and left my dad etc. Anyways, I was talking about getting married to my Db to my friend (him and i have been kinda planning on it) and she actually said "I can't believe your thinking about getting married after what happened to your parents".....LOL!! EX-CU-SE ME? that one still blows my mind.
oh well.
stay strong and positive.