Ugh.

I've been doing really well the last few days, I was actually surprising myself. And then a little while ago I realized something.

I've been really stressed out lately, and when I stress out, I tend to retreat. I spend more time alone, a lot of time just in my room doing whatever. I've been doing this a lot lately... I'm starting to get in a rut. And I think that right now I'm sadder than I like to admit.

The last time I was like this, to this degree, was before I met DB. And then tonight the realization hit me that the only thing I wanted was to be able to talk to him. Or better yet, have him in the room with me. That's all. Even if we didn't talk, all I need is for him to be in the same room as me. He is just the only person I want to see or talk to right now.

Ugh, I hate that I'm like this. I want to be strong and I need to be strong. I know that it is what he needs from me. But... UGH... tonight, I just really want him here.

That's all. I'm sure tomorrow I will feel better. But tonight, red wine and Nilla Cakesters will have to be my comfort. :sigh



PS - The longer he is gone, and the more I feel like this... it makes me realize that I am totally head over heels for him. Double ugh.

i'm sorry you are having a rough night. We all have those moments. I can say, now in my second deployment, that it will get easier. That's something I never thought I would be able to say. :hugs

:hugs I get those days too. Hang in there. The blues lighten up eventually. :hugs